Disappearance of Denmark Ch. 7

[aseies]

Title: Disappearance of Denmark
Author: ASEies (AmeUmi36@Deviantart)
Rating: T (there are slightly mature scenes in later chapters)
Characters: (main) Norway, Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Denmark, (secondary) OC!Greenland, England, Prussia
Couples: Denmark/Norway, Sweden/Finland, Hinted Greenland/Iceland, Hinted England/China
Warnings: Angst, OCs,

Comments

[sparklingtea]

I actually felt a bit sorry for Prussia in this chapter, he has all these memories that aren't actually his, and I know it's hard for Norway to stand him, but wahhhh. :c Poor Prussia. It's okay everything will be back to normal soon and you can go have dorky fun with Liechtenstein.

I feel like in the beginning that you had too much prose going on and I was getting a bit impatient. While the prose was interesting and fact-filled, some of the facts felt a bit...forced? And not like something that would come out naturally. While it's good, and in fact fascinating to have facts, I would have maybe portrayed them differently--maybe as short flashbacks? I would have loved to know what exactly Denmark said to Iceland about bikelanes and what kind of attitude Iceland was giving back. xD

[aseies]

You guys make me feel bad for not considering how Prussia felt at all. /shotI can understand that. I rewrote this at 3am after all-- it was less prosy before but the problem was there was a lot of telling not showing, so I was trying to show more than just say he was reminiscing and stuff

[amayara]

...oh, really? I was about to commend you for having Norway top for once. In general, I hate it when one character *always* tops or *always* bottoms, and in particular I really, really don't see Norway always taking it. Even more in particular, I think it makes more sense for him to be dominant/topping here. He's coming into this tryst with a lot more emotion than Denmark, and while (I'm assuming) Denmark's expecting a PYT to top for the night, Norway's going to want to be showing him why he shouldn't let him go.

But that's just me.

[sparklingtea]

/about to back track majorly

I agree with you though about that Denmark doesn't always top or Norway always tops, but when Denmark's drunk in my head, he does tend to be a bit more forceful. I think aseies did a good job with Norge topping the kiss, but of course with characters like Denmark and Norway (and most of Hetalia), a lot is put up to the writer of the fanfic.

I could definitely see what you supposed happened, happening though. Actually, now that you bring it up, I kind of prefer it.

[aseies]

In my headcanon Den and Nor switch who tops all the time. In fact, they sometimes fight over who tops. Den ends up topping more often though. And yeah, that's basically what I was thinking. Nor's been wanting to see him for a long time... *rubs neck, wishy-washiness showing* This is the first time I wrote Denmark, I always RP'd Norway with sparklingtea's Denmark, so I guess I was somewhat cushioning the crit. Plus, we like to tease Nor a lot, so in our conversations we make him out to be more of a sub than he really is.

You bring up really good points, and points that I probably took into consideration when I was writing the story, but might have forgotten when I was writing the comment. /sorry for the contraditions

[amayara]

nah, s'okay. 's your story, after all~ I was just /super excited face/ at first because i can freakin' never find Norway topping, and then /d-face/ at the comments.

in otherwords, i'm really enjoying your fic~

[aseies]

Haha Sorry. I might write a fic sometime with Nor topping. But I don't write smut so that might be hard...

It's not the same, but can I recommend this to you? Nor tops big time.

... Actually, I'll just rewrite this scene as a fic sometime. Problem solved. /hopes I have time

I'm glad you're enjoying this fic though~

[aseies]

Also, I want to thank you for commenting like that. I got a lot out of your comment, but the most important one was that I need to think through my responses more, and stand up for myself when I have an opposing view.

I can normally see all points in an argument, so I have a hard time standing up for my own views because others' views make sense to me. But that doesn't mean I should conform to their views to make them happy.

[swirlisthecurl]

Are you saying that I can't top him?

[sparklingtea]

Not at all. Yes.