(no subject)
Here is something else I continue to notice: For some of us, everytime one of our relationships ends, we are, time and time again, crushed by it. Each time is just as bad as, if not worse than, the last.
When will we finally look back at out lives and realize that- last time, just as the time before that and the time before that, the pain ended and, when the dust settled, we were still standing?
I see people continuing to be swept up and crushed in the onslaughting avalanche of misery, grief and sleepless nights because of a failed relationship- and yet, they always recover. Time and time again, we continue to focus on this relationship, this time, this pain, saying to ourselves, again and again: "This will be the one that kills me."
And... it never is.
By realizing that, no matter what- no matter how much pain- we are not going to die when a relationship doesn't work out, we can begin to venture into the world looking forward to human interaction- instead of entering into a relationship thinking, from the beginning: "Is this person going to shred my soul, too?"
If we can start to look at our relationships as a chance to learn something new about ourselves and another human being instead of crossing our fingers and hoping against hope that this is "the one", we will not be so devistated when the relationship with "Mr/Mrs. Wonderful" doesn't work out. We will be that less stunned and that much more able to say: "Well, that was fun. What's next?"
When will we finally look back at out lives and realize that- last time, just as the time before that and the time before that, the pain ended and, when the dust settled, we were still standing?
I see people continuing to be swept up and crushed in the onslaughting avalanche of misery, grief and sleepless nights because of a failed relationship- and yet, they always recover. Time and time again, we continue to focus on this relationship, this time, this pain, saying to ourselves, again and again: "This will be the one that kills me."
And... it never is.
By realizing that, no matter what- no matter how much pain- we are not going to die when a relationship doesn't work out, we can begin to venture into the world looking forward to human interaction- instead of entering into a relationship thinking, from the beginning: "Is this person going to shred my soul, too?"
If we can start to look at our relationships as a chance to learn something new about ourselves and another human being instead of crossing our fingers and hoping against hope that this is "the one", we will not be so devistated when the relationship with "Mr/Mrs. Wonderful" doesn't work out. We will be that less stunned and that much more able to say: "Well, that was fun. What's next?"