JUST FUCKIN OPEN YOUR EYES. . .mother fuckers. ::sighh::
I’m tired.
I’m tired of people, and their mentality, and what we hear, and what we see, and what we feel, and what we do. Everyone just seems to have something sooo big missing. I’m not saying that I’m so complete, or that I know everything, or anything, I’m just fuckin tired. With as many people that I can carry around me, no matter what, it will never add up to what I would hope it to be, and I know it. Everyone does. There are those people in your lives that you keep around you just so you feel like you have someone to lean on, but then you just see that it isn’t all what you thought or wanted( this is all general, nothing to anyone). You look at them like they’re all together, the kind of people you want to be around, when they aren’t. Or they are, and you just can’t.
I'm tired of knowing that in a lifetime, you’ll only be able to count your friends on one hand, and you’re lucky if you can even get past one finger. There are just so, so, so many layers to a person, that when you finally get through enough of them, to their foundation, their sole, you’re just tired. There are either so many fucked up, mutilated layers that we wish we didn’t have to see, or deal with, that we just drop it right then and there, and sometimes that’s the best thing to do. But then you have that turmoil in your head of thinking it was unfair of you, but then again the belt of the negativity is off.
I'm tired of knowing there will always be the people that are friends, but then there will be the people that are really the invisible definition of the expression. Like people that you don’t have to talk to for months, but the second you do, it’s like it was yesterday. They give you your space to do things without even trying to, letting you develop, and find things out for yourself, but still having enough care and consideration to be there when you collapse. But the people, who put too much effort, are the ones screwing you over.
There are people gone now we never got to say good-bye too. People that we wont have enough courage to confront given this huge egotistical obsession we have with our pride. But who the fuck made you so perfect? People we will never dare confront about how we really felt about them. For what purpose? to put on a fake act to show we really are what we see played out infront of us. fuck it. You love people, you hate them, you could care less... it's how it works.live.
I'm exhausted at the fact that it's dwindled down to few now, and it’s like I’ve said before, the people you put around yourself are only that…people. Like a fence that you somehow think is going to do you any good at all. But I guess we need it sometimes.It drives me crazy to think of certain people, and I’m so packed with anger, and aggression at any thought of them, that it tears me up. Like people who have gone, and you don’t know why, but they fucked up your life at one point, or one way or another forever. A face you have to see hanging in front of you every morning until you wake up in a cold sweat. It doesn’t even have to be anyone; it can just be something someone has done. Like when someone watches someone fuck up royally, and slash their life apart bit by bit, then somehow find the nerve to take the chance of following the same fuckin dark ass trail. Everyone, including you, and myself, are stupid at least sometimes, if not we wouldn’t be “people”.
It kills me to realize things enough to then have to listen to other people tell me over and over that they’ve realized it too, and that they “know”. Bullshit. Anyone can tell me over and over how much they “know how I feel” or “feel me” or know “exactly where I’m coming from” but it’s in one ear and out the other. It isn’t possible for anyone to know where someone is coming from. The mind isn’t a mirror; you can look at it and see your same exact story reflected in someone else’s head. It makes me sick to think that people actually think they’re helping by that, when really, it’s just a fuckin conscious and or subconscious sympathy trick for both sides. Think about it. So fuckin mad about this one subject, i dont even want to finish.
If you’ve gotten this far, I congratulate you. And your reward is that this is over.
I’m tired…and this time, it’s at your benefit.
I’m tired of people, and their mentality, and what we hear, and what we see, and what we feel, and what we do. Everyone just seems to have something sooo big missing. I’m not saying that I’m so complete, or that I know everything, or anything, I’m just fuckin tired. With as many people that I can carry around me, no matter what, it will never add up to what I would hope it to be, and I know it. Everyone does. There are those people in your lives that you keep around you just so you feel like you have someone to lean on, but then you just see that it isn’t all what you thought or wanted( this is all general, nothing to anyone). You look at them like they’re all together, the kind of people you want to be around, when they aren’t. Or they are, and you just can’t.
I'm tired of knowing that in a lifetime, you’ll only be able to count your friends on one hand, and you’re lucky if you can even get past one finger. There are just so, so, so many layers to a person, that when you finally get through enough of them, to their foundation, their sole, you’re just tired. There are either so many fucked up, mutilated layers that we wish we didn’t have to see, or deal with, that we just drop it right then and there, and sometimes that’s the best thing to do. But then you have that turmoil in your head of thinking it was unfair of you, but then again the belt of the negativity is off.
I'm tired of knowing there will always be the people that are friends, but then there will be the people that are really the invisible definition of the expression. Like people that you don’t have to talk to for months, but the second you do, it’s like it was yesterday. They give you your space to do things without even trying to, letting you develop, and find things out for yourself, but still having enough care and consideration to be there when you collapse. But the people, who put too much effort, are the ones screwing you over.
There are people gone now we never got to say good-bye too. People that we wont have enough courage to confront given this huge egotistical obsession we have with our pride. But who the fuck made you so perfect? People we will never dare confront about how we really felt about them. For what purpose? to put on a fake act to show we really are what we see played out infront of us. fuck it. You love people, you hate them, you could care less... it's how it works.live.
I'm exhausted at the fact that it's dwindled down to few now, and it’s like I’ve said before, the people you put around yourself are only that…people. Like a fence that you somehow think is going to do you any good at all. But I guess we need it sometimes.It drives me crazy to think of certain people, and I’m so packed with anger, and aggression at any thought of them, that it tears me up. Like people who have gone, and you don’t know why, but they fucked up your life at one point, or one way or another forever. A face you have to see hanging in front of you every morning until you wake up in a cold sweat. It doesn’t even have to be anyone; it can just be something someone has done. Like when someone watches someone fuck up royally, and slash their life apart bit by bit, then somehow find the nerve to take the chance of following the same fuckin dark ass trail. Everyone, including you, and myself, are stupid at least sometimes, if not we wouldn’t be “people”.
It kills me to realize things enough to then have to listen to other people tell me over and over that they’ve realized it too, and that they “know”. Bullshit. Anyone can tell me over and over how much they “know how I feel” or “feel me” or know “exactly where I’m coming from” but it’s in one ear and out the other. It isn’t possible for anyone to know where someone is coming from. The mind isn’t a mirror; you can look at it and see your same exact story reflected in someone else’s head. It makes me sick to think that people actually think they’re helping by that, when really, it’s just a fuckin conscious and or subconscious sympathy trick for both sides. Think about it. So fuckin mad about this one subject, i dont even want to finish.
If you’ve gotten this far, I congratulate you. And your reward is that this is over.
I’m tired…and this time, it’s at your benefit.