Dec 05, 2003 21:50
the answer came
like a shot in the back
while you were running from your lesson
which might explain
why years later all you could remember
was the terror of the question
plus, you weren't listening
you were stockpiling canned goods
making a bomb shelter of our basement
and i can't believe you let the moral go by
while you were soaking in the product placement
where was your conscience?
where was your consciousness?
and where did you put all those letters
that you wrote to yourself
but could not address?
i'm a good kisser
and you're a fast learner
and that kinda thing could float us
for a pretty long time
then one day you'd realize
you've memorized my phone number
and you'll call it and find
it's a disconnected line
cuz i got tossed out the window of love's el camino
and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb
you were smoking me
weren't you?
between your yellow fingers
you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word
where was your conscience?
where was your consciousness?
and where did you put all those letters
that you wrote to yourself
but could not address?
there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons
a whole childhood of potions
that are all bottled up
and so one by one i am dusting off labels
i am uncorking bottles and filling up cups
so go ahead and have a taste of your own medicine
and i'll have a taste of mine
but first let's toast to the lists
that we hold in our fists
of the things that we promise to do
differently next time
cuz the answer came like a shot in the back
while you were running from your lesson
which might explain
why years later all you could remember
was the terror of the question
plus i'm not listening to you anymore
my head is too sore and my heart's perforated
and i'm mired in the marrow of my (well... ain't that) funny bone
learning how to be alone and devastated
where was my conscience?
where was my consciousness?
and what do i do with all these letters
that i wrote to myself
but cannot address?
So I took my French final this morning and I think I did decently. I cheated, which helps. The boy I've been helping cheat in the class took me out to lunch today which was nice. He's a nice guy - more lost in that class than I was if that's possible. I'm working, well, supposed to be working on my take home final for another class which is due on Wednesday. I'm just not in the mood. I really should be though, I still have 4 more questions to answer which translates to 4 more pages of writing. Sigh.
Molly ate my phone charger today. I don't even know how she did it. I drove to the SprintPCS store and the guy behind the counter asked me what highschool I went to. Apparently we went to the same one....who knew. He gave me the charger for free, but sadly it was the wrong one and of course I drove all the way home before I figured that out. I had to drive all the way back. Of course I got there at 7:02 and the store closes at 7:00 - this did not stop me...I banged on the door. And yes, I got my new charger. No dead phone for me.
I'm just having an altogether crummy day. There was nothing especially wrong with it, I just think I'm lonely. I need some human contact. I don't like myself enough to spend this much time alone. I mean, I went to class this morning and to the park with Molly this afternoon; but I'm just going through a phase where I feel like I don't want to be left alone. It's a good thing I live on the first floor. Heh. I think it's because I miss Melissa and because I have not really hung out with any of my friends for awhile. I tried to make plans this weekend but nothing worked out. Heather was down here Monday and seeing her was cool...but my stupid job and my stupid class made it hard for us to hang out a lot. Plus I screwed up and I did not get back from Illinois until Sunday and she was leaving on Tuesday morning. Eh. So that's about it. I need to go to a fucking movie or something. I need to get out of this apartment before I start collecting cats...dammit I need to work on my paper...
PS: Melissa got a 2000 Jeep Wrangler today :)
-Jen