(no subject)
i think it would do me some good to think a little more positively. i suppose that most of my journal entries are inspired by a place of pain, and this is of course my way of releasing some of said pain. looking at my past journals makes me see how much of an angry person i really am. perhaps i have a right to be. people have shit on me my whole life and i couldn't do anything because i felt powerless. somehow, perhaps due to my dad, i've learned that whatever i say is wrong, and that i can never win an argument. even if i was 100% right, it wont ever matter. i've noticed that it's very hard to recognize when i get angry because i don't boil over like some people do, but all of my past entries are the evidence that i am really pissed off. this is the wrong way to think. i need to believe and trust in myself more, because the things i need to say truly do matter, and i have a right to feel like i am just as important as anyone else. i am tired of getting the shit end of everything, and i want to be treated with some respect. maybe people see that i haven't held much respect for myself, and that is me indirectly saying that "i am not a respectful person, please treat me like shit".
i don't know why it took me so long to figure it out, but i am a lot more intelligent than i, my teachers, and my parents ever gave me credit for. people around me have noticed though, and that has helped me realize it too, and have more confidence. it's reassurance to me that i do have what it takes to survive, and i have the potential to really soar high.
i don't know why it took me so long to figure it out, but i am a lot more intelligent than i, my teachers, and my parents ever gave me credit for. people around me have noticed though, and that has helped me realize it too, and have more confidence. it's reassurance to me that i do have what it takes to survive, and i have the potential to really soar high.