My grief column today
This is the article I had published in our weekly newspaper here in our area. It came out today, so I am going to publish it here as well. If you are new here, this is the journal entry that tells about the event:
http://quilterbear.livejournal.com/tag/murder
Remember, I do have to rather change the way I talk and the words I use because the education level of the common man here is lower than what you'd normally find. Also, it is a very religious area, so I kept that in mind. Feedback welcome.
Walking Through Grief
by Rev. Dr. K. vR (shortened for anonymity)
MOURNING HAS BROKEN
As I sit at my computer composing this article, the sun is gloriously shining and the hills and mountains are awakening to new life. However, there is a heavy dark cloud over our community that the sunshine cannot dispel.
Last Monday morning, there was a gruesome discovery at Pizza Plus in Claypool Hill: the senseless murders of Harvey and Valerie Looney. There’s no need for me to go into details here because this horrifying event has been on the tongues of everyone in this community since it occurred. No matter where you go, people have been talking about it.
My husband told me about the double murder when he called me from the car on his way home from work. The first thing I said was that he had driven right past Pizza Plus on his way to work that morning about an hour before the discovery. Somehow it felt like he should have known, that it should have been apparent that there had been this terrible crime. I was overwhelmed that Mr. Looney’s body was lying outside the building in the chilly spring air while cars whizzed past unaware. Shock and terror filled my mind. How could such a thing happen here, in this gentle community that I have come to love so much?
Tuesday morning, my personal care assistant came to my home to help me as she does five mornings a week. I am disabled and in need of her assistance. Before I could even get out of bed, she was talking about the murders. She was like a fountain, flowing out words of disbelief, anger, shock, and horror. She, too, felt our community was somehow immune to this sort of violence. “Claypool Hill!” she cried. I knew exactly what she meant: If it could happen in the sleepy town of Claypool Hill, it could happen anywhere.
It was the apparent randomness of this crime that makes us even more afraid. It could happen to us. It could have been any one of us, and that makes us feel frightened and full of anxiety. Even if we don’t acknowledge that thought consciously, we are thinking it subconsciously. It could have been me. It could have been you.
It’s normal to have fear and anxiety after such a vicious crime. It has violated our community, not just the family of the victims. We have all been attacked in a way, and it has colored the way we see the world and one another. Who could do such a thing? We find ourselves having thoughts of being unsafe, and we are more careful in what we do and with whom we interact. It is normal to take it personally. Though we may or may not have known the Looney’s personally, many of us knew them through their service at Pizza Plus. They were a part of the fiber of our community’s tapestry.
What can we do to process this wound to our community? What we are already doing so well. Talk. Though our community has a tendency towards gossip (you know it’s true!), now it is healthy and necessary to talk. Talking about this horrible loss is the best way we can get through this, together. Talk to your friends. Talk about it at church. Talk about it at work. Talk about your personal feelings about it with whoever will listen. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, then write about it in a journal. Draw pictures, use violent language, express yourself in whatever way you feel led.
And don’t forget to pray. Pray that the murderer(s) get caught and punished. Pray that the victims’ families will be comforted. Pray for the Pizza Plus family who have been so devastated by this crime Pray that our community will heal.
http://quilterbear.livejournal.com/tag/murder
Remember, I do have to rather change the way I talk and the words I use because the education level of the common man here is lower than what you'd normally find. Also, it is a very religious area, so I kept that in mind. Feedback welcome.
Walking Through Grief
by Rev. Dr. K. vR (shortened for anonymity)
MOURNING HAS BROKEN
As I sit at my computer composing this article, the sun is gloriously shining and the hills and mountains are awakening to new life. However, there is a heavy dark cloud over our community that the sunshine cannot dispel.
Last Monday morning, there was a gruesome discovery at Pizza Plus in Claypool Hill: the senseless murders of Harvey and Valerie Looney. There’s no need for me to go into details here because this horrifying event has been on the tongues of everyone in this community since it occurred. No matter where you go, people have been talking about it.
My husband told me about the double murder when he called me from the car on his way home from work. The first thing I said was that he had driven right past Pizza Plus on his way to work that morning about an hour before the discovery. Somehow it felt like he should have known, that it should have been apparent that there had been this terrible crime. I was overwhelmed that Mr. Looney’s body was lying outside the building in the chilly spring air while cars whizzed past unaware. Shock and terror filled my mind. How could such a thing happen here, in this gentle community that I have come to love so much?
Tuesday morning, my personal care assistant came to my home to help me as she does five mornings a week. I am disabled and in need of her assistance. Before I could even get out of bed, she was talking about the murders. She was like a fountain, flowing out words of disbelief, anger, shock, and horror. She, too, felt our community was somehow immune to this sort of violence. “Claypool Hill!” she cried. I knew exactly what she meant: If it could happen in the sleepy town of Claypool Hill, it could happen anywhere.
It was the apparent randomness of this crime that makes us even more afraid. It could happen to us. It could have been any one of us, and that makes us feel frightened and full of anxiety. Even if we don’t acknowledge that thought consciously, we are thinking it subconsciously. It could have been me. It could have been you.
It’s normal to have fear and anxiety after such a vicious crime. It has violated our community, not just the family of the victims. We have all been attacked in a way, and it has colored the way we see the world and one another. Who could do such a thing? We find ourselves having thoughts of being unsafe, and we are more careful in what we do and with whom we interact. It is normal to take it personally. Though we may or may not have known the Looney’s personally, many of us knew them through their service at Pizza Plus. They were a part of the fiber of our community’s tapestry.
What can we do to process this wound to our community? What we are already doing so well. Talk. Though our community has a tendency towards gossip (you know it’s true!), now it is healthy and necessary to talk. Talking about this horrible loss is the best way we can get through this, together. Talk to your friends. Talk about it at church. Talk about it at work. Talk about your personal feelings about it with whoever will listen. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, then write about it in a journal. Draw pictures, use violent language, express yourself in whatever way you feel led.
And don’t forget to pray. Pray that the murderer(s) get caught and punished. Pray that the victims’ families will be comforted. Pray for the Pizza Plus family who have been so devastated by this crime Pray that our community will heal.