The love boat chapters 9 to 11
Chapter 9 - Day 8
Danny was nowhere to be found and that irked Steve to no end. Not in his room - no breakfast delivered there this morning - not in the dining room, either last night or today. Steve had just been able to ascertain that Danny had gone ashore, but not that he was back, which he had to be since his card had been used later to buy a toy, something only suitable for Charlie, at the boutique where Pua used to work before he got recruited to check the security cameras.
But nothing else than that since then.
Steve kept imagining Danny having a few drinks while flirting with some woman, and then following her to her room to make love to her, and the images made him feel like ants crawling under his skin. He had to find Danny !
"You okay, boss ?" Chin asked, taking him out of his daydream.
"Sure. But I need to go."
He left the bridge after less than a half hour, having expedited all duties and conferred with Chin to make sure everything was taken care of. He had the utmost confidence in his first mate and knew the ship was in good hands when he left in search of Danny once again.
It was surprisingly easy to find him this time, but Steve felt all his fears coming to life as he watched Danny wearing only trunks and enjoying a drink next to the pool with a dark-haired woman who seemed equally taken with him.
Maybe he should have given him more time to calm down after their row the previous day, but Steve had to do something about the way Danny and the other passenger seemed to get along. He listened only to his heart and his feet took him to Danny, hovering over him until Danny raised his head to understand why the sun wasn't shining on him anymore.
"Danny, I've been looking for you…" Steve began, unsure how to go on to be forgiven.
And then Danny smiled at him and tapped the free space on the deck chair he was sitting on.
"Babe, you came at the right moment. Leslie was just telling me about the night her purse got stolen."
Steve stared at Danny, unable to get the meaning of his words, the fact that Danny didn't seem upset anymore. That he was still working the case despite his parting speech the day before.
So Steve sat next to Danny on the sun lounger and turned to the woman.
"Hi, Leslie. I'm Steve McGarrett, the ship's captain. I hope you're enjoying the cruise ?"
"Can't complain," she replied raising her umbrella drink and taking a good look at Danny's naked chest. "There's a few interesting people on this ship of yours."
He sucked it up, refusing to let jealousy get hold of him, and admired the view too for an extended second.
"I can get behind that. So you have something to tell us about the theft ?"
"I thought I had told everything to that weasely guy the other day, but Danny said he didn't report the whole thing to you."
"What do you mean ?"
"That I was at the casino that night, and I won enough to keep my glass full and make many friends for the duration of the cruise. Until someone decided to help themselves with my purse."
"And you told this to Officer Hirsch ?"
"I did, just like I told him that I had left my purse on the washstand because it was a strapless thing I couldn't put anywhere else, and that the stall I was in had been blocked so that I couldn't get out. But I was able to see a pair of male polished shoes under the door before the thief left the bathroom. There are not many people wearing closed, polished shoes on a cruise boat in Hawaii… passengers are more of the flip-flop kind."
Something tightened in Steve's guts. He disliked Hirsch immensely, but the thought that someone in his crew might have committed a criminal act of any nature made him feel sick.
"Hirsch said you were drunk," he pushed the woman, for trying to seduce Danny as much as for implying one of his man was dirty.
Leslie snorted.
"I certainly wasn't sober, but I can hold my drink."
She took a long gulp as if to show him. Then she held her empty glass up for Danny to take it.
"Danny, would you be the sweet guy I know you are and get me another one ?"
"Sure," Danny responded, standing up to take the glass with him to get a refill at the bar by the other side of the pool. "Don't eat Steve alive while I'm gone, I might still have use for him."
"Don't put images in my mind if you don’t plan to let me watch !" she called to his back.
They both watched Danny walking away, broad shoulders and tight ass, with the same attention and longing it seemed.
"Look," Leslie went on, "I don't really care that much about the money, but I can't stand the idea of that guy getting away with it. Either you believe me or not, your choice. I know Danny believes me."
"Then that's good enough for me."
"Wonderful ! There's a brain under that captain hat."
"I try."
"You better. The good Lord knows it's not with that ugly mug of yours that you're gonna seduce Danny."
Steve couldn't help the laughter that took him by surprise.
"Hey," he protested, "I'll have you know that Oahu Weekly wrote an article about me and they said I was the most handsome captain of a cruise ship in Hawaii."
"You sure that wasn't the most modest ?" she teased him some more.
"That too," he deadpanned.
Danny came back with Leslie's drink - complete with yellow umbrella and orange ring - and two glasses of water, one of which he offered to Steve.
"I guess you don't drink at work, so I got you this."
"Thanks, Danny."
He needed to get out of here now, draw the inevitable conclusion and work around it.
With a hand on Danny's knee, Steve commanded his attention back on him.
"Danny, can I talk to you ? Somewhere more private ?"
"Sure. Leslie, duty calls. I'll see you later. And thanks again for your help."
"You're welcome, honey. Ring me up if you're available."
Her amused smile was directed at Steve who simply nodded and left, knowing Danny was following closely.
Steve led the way to a maintenance office that was thankfully empty at the moment. He closed the door behind Danny, willing himself to ignore the half-naked state of the man.
"You're not mad at me anymore ? You're still working the case ?"
"Babe, I've got a thick skin. If I let any bumbling idiot's anger stop me, I'd never have solved all the crimes I did in my time with the police."
Steve thought it best not to ask if the bumbling idiot was supposed to be him or Kamekona.
"There was another theft last night," he announced instead. "Not a purse this time, but a man's wallet. The casino manager talked with the guy, he said he might have lost it any time after he left the casino around 11 PM to the moment he went to bed around 3 AM. He went to at least three bars and a lounge in the meantime, that he can recall. He wouldn't have been able to pay if his wallet had already been stolen, so that means in all probability that the theft happened around 3 AM."
"Maybe we should introduce him to Leslie, they seem to keep the same kind of schedule."
Steve didn't need to ask how Danny knew that.
"How did you meet her ?" Steve questioned anyway, oh so nonchalantly.
"On purpose. Yesterday morning, I went to watch some of the security videos with Pua and on the spur of the moment, I decided to check Leslie's whereabouts that night, before the time she thought the theft had happened. And I realized Hirsch's report was sketchy at best."
"You're implying Hirsch lied ?" Steve rephrased, blandly.
Danny grimaced.
"I saw someone coming out of the bathroom where Leslie got robbed. A man, but he's hiding his face from the camera and you can't recognize him, plus the light had been dimmed too much, probably intentionally, to make much of his attire either, even if it does look like these uniforms your crew wears. Look, I'm not here to have another row with you. I know it's your ship, and your crew, and you'll do whatever the hell you want with my findings. All I have to say is that this man is hiding something, and if you want to solve your case, you might want to keep him under surveillance."
"No, Danny, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry for going off on you yesterday. I was pissed about something else and I took it out on you, okay ?"
"Okay…" Danny accepted, still guarded. "So what did you mean ?"
"I… it's not easy for me to acknowledge that there might be a bad apple in this barrel. A way worse apple than I thought."
"And yet, this might be the opportunity for you to get rid at last of this metaphorical fruit, right ?"
"It sure is !" Steve got over his hurt. "And I bet you already have an idea on how to foil the guilty party."
"As a matter of fact, I do, Steven. I'm just not sure you're willing to listen."
"You're going to make me pay for my outburst ?"
"Absolutely."
"How long ?"
"Not sure yet. I'll let you know."
"Okay. Will you tell me about your plan anyway ?"
"I plan on it."
"When ?"
"Soon."
"You're going to make me run around the whole ship just like you did two days ago ? Or you're going to interview me first to make sure I'm not guilty, because you have to interrogate me before you can, I quote, 'eliminate me as the culprit' ?"
"I'm going to eliminate you alright if you keep that up."
"Really, Danny, I'm shocked by your language. After everything I did for you !"
"What exactly did you do for me ? Besides having that old, pontificating guy sitting next to me last night at your table."
"That wasn't so bad. At least you got to talk to me. I didn't have that kind of consolation the night before."
"So I'm your consolation prize, now ? Need I remind you that I'm the passenger, and thus the one who is supposed to be entertained, not the other way around ? Hence the price for my help."
"Which is ? All this talk and you still haven't told me what you want."
"I'll tell you everything after you've invited me for lunch. I need fuel before I do all the hard work for you."
Steve smiled and got closer to Danny. He felt sure now that he had it in himself to get Danny's forgiveness soon.
"That could be arranged," he said, "if you're in a better mood than yesterday."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Leslie was very impressed by my gentlemanly attitude."
"Kamekona wasn't, and neither was I."
"Maybe I wasn’t in the most sunny disposition with your chef, but that’s entirely your fault. You wouldn’t answer your phone."
Steve could only smile at that, because it was the proof that Danny had been annoyed not to be able to reach him, just like Steve didn't deal well with Danny being out of his reach. They needed each other just as badly.
Raising a hand that he brought up to Danny's neck, he slid his fingers over Danny's stubble. With the tip of his thumb, he brushed Danny's cheekbone, learning the feel of his skin.
He didn't want to wait any longer. More than half the cruise had passed and if he had any chance of convincing Danny to stay in Hawaii, he had to go for it.
Danny stood still, eyes locked with Steve's as Steve slowly leaned down.
The door opened, and the voice of Steve's cruise director sounded loud and clear, and far too close.
"Err… sorry to interrupt, Captain."
Steve let go of Danny as if burned.
"What is it, Meka ?"
"We had a meeting at 12:00 PM and we're already fifteen minutes late. Should we reschedule ?"
"Don't bother on my account," Danny answered for Steve. "I'll grab lunch and meet you later when you're not so busy or jumpy."
There was nothing Steve could say in front of his subordinate.
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His meeting with Kono had gone well. Eddie was particularly impatient for the next show, something off the beaten track that he wasn't sure would be approved by the powers that be, considering a cruise audience might not quite be the avant-garde. But Kono had checked with her colleagues and her boss and Eddie was good to go. He hoped Buck would be there this time to observe, the dance as well as the public, to be able to tell him what he thought afterwards. Eddie's confidence in Buck encompassed so many areas he would feel quite lost without his loving support.
"Eddie !" he heard from somewhere to the left as he was about to enter the restaurant where he was supposed to meet with Buck and Chris. "Right over here."
He saw a hand waving at him and recognized the guy from last night. The man was even more gorgeous in broad daylight, muscled in all the right places, and yet Eddie only felt impatience at being delayed. But this was a fan, and his career depended on people like him who gave time and money to support him. The least he could do was show his appreciation and spending a moment with a fan wouldn't change anything about this pretty awesome day he was having.
"Derek, is that right ?" he asked while they shook hands.
"Good memory, man. Can I offer you a drink ?"
"Maybe something nonalcoholic."
"Okay, let me get the bartender."
While they were waiting, Derek turned towards Eddie and he seemed a lot less gung-ho than the previous night where alcohol had probably been involved.
"Eddie, I hope I didn't come on too strong last night, and that I didn't ruin your evening. Your friend didn't seem too happy with me."
"Don't worry. We needed some time to ourselves, that's it. No harm done."
"I imagine this kind of cruise means being constantly on display for someone like you. Not just relaxing like us, simple people, get to do every day."
Eddie laughed, oddly touched by the way the guy was able to put himself in his place.
"You know, I feel very much like one of those simple people. All I want in life is being able to take care of my family and enjoy my job."
"You do sound like your feet are firmly on the ground."
"I'm a father, I need to."
"He's a lucky kid."
"I’m the lucky one."
The bartender was still occupied by a large group of passengers and Eddie was getting impatient.
"Derek, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to leave, my family's waiting for me at the restaurant, but it was nice talking with you."
"Wait ! Can we take a selfie together ? It's not for any social media, just for me, a souvenir."
"Sure. How do you want to do it ?"
"Side by side ?"
"Okay."
Eddie came next to Derek, allowing the arm around his shoulders despite Buck's words ringing loud in his mind while Derek raised the other to bring his iPhone high and far enough to get them both in the picture. Eddie smiled his biggest and friendliest smile for the camera, as he was used to do pretty much every day when he was stopped outside by fans.
Another smile took over Eddie's face, more reserved but also much more loving, when he saw Buck and Chris coming his way behind Derek. They too smiled at him and hurried a bit to get to him faster.
Derek hadn't seen them, this was made obvious by the way he suddenly leaned in to lay a kiss on Eddie's mouth. It came out of the blue and left Eddie dumbfounded enough that Derek probably imagined that his lack of reaction meant it was okay to go on.
"Dad !" Chris yelled, shocked and furious.
Derek drew back, licking his lips and looking at Eddie's with something like hunger before he turned towards Chris.
"Listen, kid," Derek tried to explain, gentle despite being upset with the interruption, "your dad and I are doing nothing wrong."
Derek had clearly misinterpreted Chris' reaction as a show of homophobia instead of the kid's natural possessiveness over his last remaining parent.
"No," Eddie replied, getting back to his senses and pushing the guy away, "you were doing something I didn't want, something I reserve for somebody else. Please, leave us alone."
Eddie could see that Derek was startled by the coolness of his reaction, but he couldn't care less. The man had taken liberties he had to know might backfire on him. And frankly, the only thing Eddie cared about was Chris' anger and the look of betrayal Buck was giving him, unable to voice his own anger.
Up until Eddie walked up to him and Chris, jerking back from Eddie's tentative touch on his arm.
"Take care of your son, Eddie," Buck spat out. "He needs an explanation and I really don't want to see you right now."
Buck bent to kiss Chris' hair.
"I'll talk to you later, buddy," he said, adding something that Eddie couldn't hear that had Chris crying 'No !' and clutching Buck hard.
With a last hug, Buck turned away and left, dismissing Eddie entirely.
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Chapter 10 - Day 8
They were both miserable and it showed.
Chris hardly touched his food and Eddie found he didn't have an appetite either anymore.
He was maybe sulking a bit, thinking he had done nothing wrong to get punished by his lover. But he knew that was not what had Buck angry with him, rather the fact that he couldn't push the guy away and stake his own claim. Not in front of Christopher, who had reacted as badly as in any of Eddie's nightmares at seeing him with someone else.
That moment finding Eddie kissed by another man had probably been the embodiment of every one of Buck's worst fears and then some. Eddie couldn't get out of his mind the sheer betrayal he had read on Buck's face, the hurt and desperation. All for a guy Eddie hardly remembered the name of, one that he wouldn't ever see again as soon as they were off the ship and back home.
Because Buck had to come back home with them. They couldn't end it like that, not for such a stupid reason and a stupid guy who didn't count at all. They may not be a couple to the eyes of the rest of the world, but they knew, deep in their hearts, that they belonged to each other, and Buck had to feel it too.
Eddie did his best not to let the growing panic show on his face in front of Christopher, and it wasn't that hard, considering Chris was pretty much sulking too and ignored Eddie in a way that was frighteningly reminiscent of his late mother.
He tried to be a good father and bribed him with many activities he knew Chris enjoyed more than any other, but every offer was met with a glum no.
Finally at his wit's end, Eddie decided they needed to have a father/son conversation and led Chris back to their rooms.
"Chris, we need to talk about what you think you saw when that man kissed me," was Eddie's opener, sure to get an answer this time.
"I don't want to," Chris grumbled.
"We need to," Eddie repeated. "What do you think happened there ?"
"You kissed him because you like him. I don't know why."
"That's not what happened. You see, that's why we need to talk. I didn't want that man to kiss me. He did it, and I told him I didn't agree."
"So why did he do it ?"
"Because he likes me, I guess."
"How do you know if someone loves you back ?"
"That's a very good question, and a very difficult thing. You know, all people don't react the same way. You think someone likes you too but they were just friendly with you. Or it's the other way around. You just have to let them gently know that you appreciate them, but not like that."
"It looks hard."
"It can be."
"You were angry with that man today. You didn't tell him gently."
"No, and I'm not proud of myself."
"Why did you do it ?"
"I guess because I didn't want you and Buck to see that and think there was something going on. I know I haven't spent as much time with you and Buck as I'd have liked, here during the cruise."
"That's okay, Dad, you told me you had to work, and it's fun spending a lot of time with Buck, Gracie and Charlie. Even Mr. Williams is fun, too. He talks a lot, and Buck says he uses his hands all the time when he speaks."
"That he does," Eddie laughed, relieved to see that Chris wasn't mad anymore and that this cruise wasn't a total loss.
Maybe Buck would calm down too, soon, and they could have a big family hug to put it all past them, enjoy their remaining time on the ship, drama-free if possible.
"Dad, why can't you be in love with Buck ?"
Lightning striking him directly wouldn't have rendered him more speechless than this innocent question.
"What ?" he croaked, forcing himself to try and understand Chris' real meaning.
"Buck loves you. He wants to date you and be with us, but you're always dancing with other people, or taking pictures with them, you don't look at him."
He guessed it could look like that to Chris, since Eddie was always so careful not to act as Buck's boyfriend in his son's presence. Maybe he'd gone too far, and that explained once again Buck's desperation.
Eddie put his hands on Chris' shoulders to see his eyes. This was too important to mess up, he had to know for sure.
"Chris, when I asked you if you'd be okay with me dating someone else and bringing them home, you said you didn't want me to. That you wanted things the way they were."
"Because I wanted just you and Buck, like before Mom died. But Buck isn't happy, and now he says he wants to leave, that he could find another job, with someone who really needs him. And if he's not with us for work, I'll never get to see him again. You have to tell him to stay, that you need him."
Eddie fell to his knees, hands still on his son's shoulders bringing him that much closer.
"Chris, I am in love with Buck, so much. I have been for a very long while, but I thought you didn't want me to be with anyone other than your mom, that's why I didn't tell you. I wanted to give you the time to think about it, get used to the idea of someone else in our lives. I didn't understand you thought Buck was already part of our family."
Seeing the beginning of a smile on Chris' face, Eddie took him in his arms for a hug. He suddenly felt like there was an end to this tunnel, a way to make everyone happy, to create a life and a future for the three of them.
"I'm so sorry, mijo," he whispered in Chris' ear. "I should have asked about Buck specifically, not speak in general terms. You've always loved Buck so much."
"It's okay, Dad," Chris patted him on the back, one of his crutches hitting Eddie's leg with the movement, "you can make it better, but you have to run to find Buck."
Eddie pulled back at these words.
"What do you mean ?"
"Buck !" Chris cried, impatient. "He wants to leave the ship to go home early. You have to find him before he's gone. Tell him you love him, not that awful man you kissed."
Eddie stared at his son, trying to make sense of his words. He couldn't accept the idea of Buck leaving them behind, being at the end of his patience and throwing away everything they had built, and as usual anger was Eddie's first response. But the look on Buck's face when he had seen him kissed by another guy would remain forever etched in his mind. It was not important whether Eddie had wanted it or not, just that Buck had had to face all of his worst fears in this moment, and Eddie hadn't even tried to call him back.
And now Buck was leaving.
Eddie stood up so quickly that he felt slightly dizzy for a second.
"Let's go," he told Chris as he took him in his arms, "we're going to ask Buck to come live with us."
Chris laughed out loud, delighted in a way that put to rest any lingering doubt in Eddie's heart.
They tried Buck's bedroom first but found it empty. Eddie tried not to alarm Chris but he remarked immediately that the room was spotless, Buck's suitcase and personal stuff obviously missing. They went through the different places Buck liked the most on the ship, still in vain.
When they finally met Kono, they asked her if she had seen Buck and her faltering smile was all the answer Eddie needed to know he was too late.
"I'm sorry, Eddie," Kono answered. "He disembarked two hours ago."
Eddie had to sit down.
Lieutenant Kelly only confirmed Kono's news. Buck had disembarked, asking him for directions to the closest airport so he could fly back to Oahu and then catch an early flight home. For Eddie's ears only, he added that they had also commiserated over lost love and harsh reality check.
Eddie's decision was the easiest one ever. He would find Buck at the airport and bring him back to the ship.
He couldn't find Danny but Rachel and Stan Edwards offered to take care of Chris while he was ashore.
"Daddy ! I want to come too ! To tell Buck he can be my second dad and I love him."
Eddie had to force the words through the lump in his throat.
"I know, buddy. But this is something I need to do alone first, to prove to Buck that I want to be with him. You can tell him as soon as we're back."
For there was no doubt in Eddie's mind that he would find Buck and bring him back. He tried to call him many times on the way to the airport, stopping only when he realized that his battery was going to be flat soon since he had forgotten to recharge it after those fabulous moments spent with Buck last night, and he felt a frustration deep in his bones that could only be matched by his anger, all directed at himself.
He was going to lose Buck forever, and he only had himself to blame for not trying hard enough. For not making it clear enough how much he loved him, for letting him believe he was not important enough to fight on his behalf, to try and change his son's mind. He was afraid by the idea that Buck had been totally sincere with Chris and that maybe he thought Eddie was full of it, that he knew already that Chris had no problem with him being with his father. Maybe he thought Eddie had lied from the beginning, using Chris as an excuse to keep him at arm's length.
Eddie had been living for so long in the status quo because it was easy, and comfortable. And now he was paying for it.
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Steve had badly messed up with the way he reacted to Meka's appearance and now Danny was playing it cool, exclusively talking about the case.
Steve allowed it, thinking that the sooner they were done with Hirsch, the sooner he could take the time to sit Danny down and be honest with him. He didn't even want to know how Danny would react to the whole helping Stan plan but he hoped, because of the way Danny had seemed to welcome the kiss that had almost happened, that he would be amenable to the possibility of moving to Oahu and see if something strong and true could begin between them.
He had even started to entertain another hope that he didn't want to think about right now, for fear he would screw it up or jinx it. But in case they managed to catch Hirsch, then Steve could get rid of him at last… and yes, Steve was aware that being a security officer on a cruise ship wasn't the same thing as being a cop, even a small-town one, but Danny had told him about his rather difficult relationship with his boss, how many times they would clash because the guy was a hardass who didn't believe in second chances and happily sent to jail kids who didn't need more despair but a bit of understanding and a good dressing-down to show them someone cared and to help them make better life choices. Danny was tired of fighting him all the time. So maybe he would be willing to listen to a different kind of job offer.
But to give his dream a chance to come to pass, Steve had to send Hirsch packing first, hopefully straight to Halawa.
Hirsch came to Steve's quarters right on time after being summoned. Danny stood up as the other man entered.
"Captain, I'm gonna head to the pool now, the kids are waiting for me."
"Okay. Thanks for your help, Danny. And don't forget we'll meet tonight for the concert."
"I won't. You two have a good day."
Danny left on a friendly smile for Hirsch and Steve indicated the vacated chair for his officer to sit down.
"So, where are you with those thefts ? Danny was just telling me he talked with that man who was last robbed and nothing came out."
Hirsch coughed then looked at Steve with his owlish eyes.
"I'm afraid I don't have much more to report, Captain. I think we're dealing either with a very good professional who is not going to let himself be stopped, or with someone who's just taking advantage of the opportunities presented to him, so that we have nearly no hope of catching him, one case or the other."
Even the way Hirsch talked, fussy, or precious maybe, was getting on Steve's nerves. He forced a smile anyway. He didn't want Hirsch to realize something was amiss.
"Keep your eyes open, and do your best. We have six more days to find the thief. Let's show HPD that they have nothing on our security department."
"Sure, Captain. I'll get back to it right now."
Hirsch scurried out of Steve's quarters like he had seen the devil and needed to find an exorcist right away. He would have run twice as fast had he seen Steve's predatory expression.
Steve kept to his usual schedule for the rest of the afternoon, arguing with himself about going to see Danny but their plan didn't include seeing each other before the concert. It was probably prudent to stick to it and not even risk inviting Danny for a drink after dinner, both to avoid alerting Hirsch and to get back in Danny's good graces by showing he trusted him enough to follow his scheme.
Everything was in place, the people involved fully briefed. Everybody knew what they needed to do to make it work.
The only thing Steve could do now was wait and hope for the best.
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Chapter 11 - Day 8
There was absolutely no way to be sure Buck would stick to his plan and come to the airport to catch an early flight. Maybe talking with Lieutenant Kelly had been part of a plan to send Eddie in the wrong direction, but he had to hope that Buck wanted to be found. Wanted Eddie to come after him and show he couldn't live without Buck.
The wait was insufferable. Even when Eddie finally got his phone recharged, Buck wasn't picking up his or answering his messages. He was closing himself off and Eddie felt some of the hurt Buck had experienced now twisting his insides with a vengeance.
Checking for any tall, blond guy walking around, Eddie had nothing to do but think and beat himself up for not making things right earlier. They had all suffered in silence for his mistake. Had he been sabotaging himself, like Shannon had accused him of once ? He didn't think so. He had tried so hard to keep the status quo, afraid of tipping the balance to one side or the other and losing the love of one of the two most important people in his life, making no waves in order to keep them both happy even though he craved more, wanting Buck at all times in his life, side by side, especially at night, every night, not just when Chris was sleeping at abuela's or back for a few days with his parents in Texas.
Eddie was one possessive son of a bitch, and he was well aware of the way people of both sexes looked at Buck and instantly wanted him. He had needed to put his claim on him out there for all those years, keeping his sanity only because he knew Buck loved him and Chris too much to do anything to put their relationship in jeopardy. Probably also because he had faith in Eddie's fidelity. A faith that had finally been broken despite Eddie's best intentions.
The cruise had been illuminating, if nothing else. Not only because of Chris' admission that might finally change their lives for the best if he wasn't too late, but because Eddie had realized, now placed in a different environment, how he was living, the image he was sending to the world, closed off and distant to the man he said he loved so much.
But he was so damn proud of being Buck's lover that he hadn't stopped gushing about him any occasion he could get. He was normally not a very talkative man, although Buck had helped cure him of his habit of keeping things bottled up. But put him in front of a cop far too talented in the art of interrogation, and Eddie was spilling all his secrets, enough that said cop had no trouble seeing through Eddie's half-truths.
The only thing Eddie wanted now was to be offered the opportunity to show off Buck for the remainder of the cruise, take him in his arms, walk so close to him that no one could mistake them for simple friends but knew instantly they were lovers and crazy about each other.
And suddenly Eddie saw him. Taller than all people around him, so handsome, and so sad as he was standing in the line to embark, eyes lost in the distance.
He probably could watch him for a much longer time, but the goal was to bring him back and make sure Buck knew he was not alone. The only way to achieve this that Eddie could think of was to boldly show him.
He walked up to Buck. With a hand on his neck, he turned his head so that their eyes could meet. Before Buck could try to resist or back away, Eddie leaned up and kissed him. He used Buck's attempt at talking to sneak his tongue inside his mouth and soon Buck was kissing him back, crossing his arms around his waist as Eddie did the same around Buck's neck.
It was exhilarating to think that maybe some people had recognized him and were taking photos that would show him at last with his lover. Photos that would appear on the internet or in rags, he didn't care. Anything to show Buck he wasn't afraid anymore.
When they came up for air, Eddie read a thousand questions in Buck's eyes.
"Come with me," he said, not wanting to get through this explanation in public.
"Eddie," Buck resisted, "I have a flight booked, I can't leave."
"If you take this flight, I'm going with you. Anywhere you go, I go. We're together, Buck."
"What about Chris ?"
There were flaws in Eddie's plan, and so what ? The truth of his statement still stood.
"He goes too," Eddie replied. "Which means you can't leave now and you have to get back to the ship with me."
Buck's resistance crumbled quickly, with the help of another kiss. Eddie only needed to take his hand and Buck followed, all the fight gone out of him in this moment.
Eddie had anticipated their need to talk, and to do it privately. He had booked a room in the nearest hotel, using his name to rush things a bit, and they were able to get there and be shown into their room in record time.
Once alone, Eddie took Buck's big bag from his shoulder and took him in his arms again for more kisses.
"You scared me so much, Buck. You have to promise me never to leave again like that, even if you're mad at me. I need to know you'll talk to me, that I can make things right between us."
"What changed, Eddie ? Why did you kiss me in public at the airport ? You know there are guys waiting for celebrities showing up in those kind of places. You took a big risk."
"You're worth it, because I love you. And because Chris talked some sense into me."
"Chris ? You talked to him about me ?"
"Try the other way around. He's much braver than me. And he's seen a lot of things where I was trying to act normal. He took me to task, asking why I couldn’t be in love with you. Which left me speechless for a moment, until I caught up and realized my son actually wanted us to be together and I've made both of us miserable for such a long time I wonder how you'll ever be able to forgive me."
There were tears, joy and pain combined, in Buck's eyes.
"There's nothing to forgive, if you promise me we can be together now. A real couple."
"I promise. I'll take all the vows you need me to if in exchange you promise never to leave me again."
"Deal."
They stopped talking to kiss again, quickly stripping each other of their clothes. Buck pushed Eddie on the huge bed, turning him to get him on all fours and Eddie relinquished control to give a portion of it back to his lover who had badly missed it for so long.
After caressing Eddie's neck with his lips, Buck followed his spine down to his ass, kissing every vertebra as his hands stroked Eddie's sides until the moment they took Eddie's cock to get him to complete erection. It took little time, especially after Buck's mouth began playing with his ass, biting a few times into his cheeks, and then moving down Eddie's crack to reach his hole.
Eddie spread his legs as much as he could and pushed his ass to make sure Buck wouldn't stop going down on him that way. Buck knew it would make him quickly crazy and he kept licking his way into Eddie for as long as he could. Eddie was pretty sure the only reason why he stopped at some point had to do with the pressing need of Buck's cock that was now asking for entrance and pushing almost immediately to rid Eddie of all the air in his lungs.
It was almost brutal, and Eddie had to hold on for dear life. It was also so possessive he knew he was being claimed forever and he pushed back to give as much as he got. They were not going to last long but this was about more than that, one of those vows Eddie had said he would take for Buck's sake, and he did, opening himself for his lover until Buck shot his load in him.
Eddie didn't know where Buck found the energy but he soon found himself turned around once more, Buck's fingers back in his ass while his head was bobbing down on his dick to make him come hard and fast.
When Eddie resurfaced, Buck was still playing with his ass and he was gently feasting on Eddie's right nipple.
"The left one is feeling abandoned," Eddie whispered, totally spent but always more than okay with Buck showing his nipples some love.
And Buck did, just like he kept playing with Eddie's whole body for a while.
There was something to be said for make-up sex, Eddie thought, but still, he didn't ever want to live through the bad moments that had led them here again.
"Buck, did you really believe that man meant anything to me ?"
"He was gorgeous," Buck tried to joke from the place where he was lying on Eddie, ear to his heart, fingers playing with Eddie's chest hair.
"And so are you. But you know that's not what matters to me."
"I know, I just…"
Buck came to a halt, lost in his thoughts.
"Tell me," Eddie encouraged him to go on with a caress to his head.
"You know that woman, the one I thought I recognized the other day in the dining room ?"
Eddie was glad Buck was bringing the topic up himself.
"I remember. I wanted to talk to you about her but we never found the time."
"I told you she was my shrink. She was also my lover."
Eddie gasped, thrown off by the revelation.
"I thought there were rules about that ?! That sleeping with a patient was strictly forbidden ?"
"There are, and we shouldn’t have done it, I was stupid enough to let it happen, and I can’t forget or forgive myself. I went to see a psychiatrist exactly because of that kind of thing - because I felt it was impossible for me to have a relationship beyond sex. And she kind of proved it once again."
Eddie felt his heart break for Buck, now able to evaluate how much he had hurt him, forcing him to be his dirty little secret for so many years.
"Just like I did, right ?"
Buck grimaced, not agreeing but not denying either.
"I understand your need to protect Chris, really I do, and I always did. Yet at the same time recently I felt like the same story was happening all over again. I'm good enough for the sex, but not good enough to be relationship material.
Eddie dragged his lover into his arms, burying his face in his neck and closing his eyes, hard, to keep his tears from falling down.
"I love you so much, Buck. It was never just about the sex between you and me. I feel like I’m more alive when you’re in me but I never feel as content with life as when you stand by me. You and Chris, you make my world go round."
Buck let a sob out.
"Why Eddie Diaz, I didn’t know you had it in you to be a poet," Buck answered when he found his voice again.
They remained in each other's arms for a while, lazily kissing and caressing whenever they felt like it, until the moment Eddie's phone rang to remind him of the time.
"We need to go back to the ship before they cast off without us."
"Okay," Buck sighed. "Can we sleep together on board tonight ?"
'If you think I'm letting you go back to your room, you're delusional, Mister Buckley."
They didn't have time for a shower but cleaned up as well as they could in a hurry. Then they got dressed and prepared, but it wasn't until he was about to go to the door that Eddie realized Buck had slowed down, playing with his dirty shirt instead of putting it in his bag.
"Is something wrong ?" Eddie couldn't help panicking a bit.
Buck raised his head and looked him in the eyes.
"What would have happened if Chris didn't want you to date me ?"
"What do you mean ?"
Buck shrugged.
"I think it's clear enough. If Chris wasn't okay with you and me as a couple, would you have come to find me anyway ? Or would you have let me go ?"
There was only one answer possible to that question, and Eddie didn't need to think about it at all.
He closed the distance between them and took Buck in his arms.
"I would have come. Even if you didn't want me anymore, you'd still be my best friend, and I'd still love you. Apart from Chris, there's no one I love more than you in this world, Buck. You're it for me. I don't want anyone else. I would have found a way to get Chris to see how much we need you with us. Hell, I'd have brought him with me to force you to listen and come back to me."
Eddie kissed Buck, fiercely, possessively.
"You won't ever get rid of me, Evan Buckley. Someday, soon, you will marry me, and the whole world will know that I belong to you. Do you believe me ?"
"I do, Edmundo Diaz. And I want to marry you."
"So let's get back to the Pearl of Hawaii. Chris was just as worried as me. Don't be surprised if he doesn't let you go more than two or three steps away from him for the rest of the cruise."
Eddie texted the Edwards so that Chris was waiting for them by the time they got on board, immediately throwing himself into Buck's arms. Eddie had to let go of Buck's hand but he joined the hug, making it a family one, the first of many.
They let go only for Eddie to kiss Buck again.
"I promise you one thing," Eddie vowed in a private whisper, "I'll take you on another cruise soon, just the two of us, for our honeymoon."
Buck leaned down and kissed him once more. And then, before Eddie could stop him, Buck leaned even more and took him in his arms, bridal style.
Chris laughed harder than ever and followed them amid the laughter and applause of the people milling around. Eddie could only keep kissing Buck.
To chapter 12
Danny was nowhere to be found and that irked Steve to no end. Not in his room - no breakfast delivered there this morning - not in the dining room, either last night or today. Steve had just been able to ascertain that Danny had gone ashore, but not that he was back, which he had to be since his card had been used later to buy a toy, something only suitable for Charlie, at the boutique where Pua used to work before he got recruited to check the security cameras.
But nothing else than that since then.
Steve kept imagining Danny having a few drinks while flirting with some woman, and then following her to her room to make love to her, and the images made him feel like ants crawling under his skin. He had to find Danny !
"You okay, boss ?" Chin asked, taking him out of his daydream.
"Sure. But I need to go."
He left the bridge after less than a half hour, having expedited all duties and conferred with Chin to make sure everything was taken care of. He had the utmost confidence in his first mate and knew the ship was in good hands when he left in search of Danny once again.
It was surprisingly easy to find him this time, but Steve felt all his fears coming to life as he watched Danny wearing only trunks and enjoying a drink next to the pool with a dark-haired woman who seemed equally taken with him.
Maybe he should have given him more time to calm down after their row the previous day, but Steve had to do something about the way Danny and the other passenger seemed to get along. He listened only to his heart and his feet took him to Danny, hovering over him until Danny raised his head to understand why the sun wasn't shining on him anymore.
"Danny, I've been looking for you…" Steve began, unsure how to go on to be forgiven.
And then Danny smiled at him and tapped the free space on the deck chair he was sitting on.
"Babe, you came at the right moment. Leslie was just telling me about the night her purse got stolen."
Steve stared at Danny, unable to get the meaning of his words, the fact that Danny didn't seem upset anymore. That he was still working the case despite his parting speech the day before.
So Steve sat next to Danny on the sun lounger and turned to the woman.
"Hi, Leslie. I'm Steve McGarrett, the ship's captain. I hope you're enjoying the cruise ?"
"Can't complain," she replied raising her umbrella drink and taking a good look at Danny's naked chest. "There's a few interesting people on this ship of yours."
He sucked it up, refusing to let jealousy get hold of him, and admired the view too for an extended second.
"I can get behind that. So you have something to tell us about the theft ?"
"I thought I had told everything to that weasely guy the other day, but Danny said he didn't report the whole thing to you."
"What do you mean ?"
"That I was at the casino that night, and I won enough to keep my glass full and make many friends for the duration of the cruise. Until someone decided to help themselves with my purse."
"And you told this to Officer Hirsch ?"
"I did, just like I told him that I had left my purse on the washstand because it was a strapless thing I couldn't put anywhere else, and that the stall I was in had been blocked so that I couldn't get out. But I was able to see a pair of male polished shoes under the door before the thief left the bathroom. There are not many people wearing closed, polished shoes on a cruise boat in Hawaii… passengers are more of the flip-flop kind."
Something tightened in Steve's guts. He disliked Hirsch immensely, but the thought that someone in his crew might have committed a criminal act of any nature made him feel sick.
"Hirsch said you were drunk," he pushed the woman, for trying to seduce Danny as much as for implying one of his man was dirty.
Leslie snorted.
"I certainly wasn't sober, but I can hold my drink."
She took a long gulp as if to show him. Then she held her empty glass up for Danny to take it.
"Danny, would you be the sweet guy I know you are and get me another one ?"
"Sure," Danny responded, standing up to take the glass with him to get a refill at the bar by the other side of the pool. "Don't eat Steve alive while I'm gone, I might still have use for him."
"Don't put images in my mind if you don’t plan to let me watch !" she called to his back.
They both watched Danny walking away, broad shoulders and tight ass, with the same attention and longing it seemed.
"Look," Leslie went on, "I don't really care that much about the money, but I can't stand the idea of that guy getting away with it. Either you believe me or not, your choice. I know Danny believes me."
"Then that's good enough for me."
"Wonderful ! There's a brain under that captain hat."
"I try."
"You better. The good Lord knows it's not with that ugly mug of yours that you're gonna seduce Danny."
Steve couldn't help the laughter that took him by surprise.
"Hey," he protested, "I'll have you know that Oahu Weekly wrote an article about me and they said I was the most handsome captain of a cruise ship in Hawaii."
"You sure that wasn't the most modest ?" she teased him some more.
"That too," he deadpanned.
Danny came back with Leslie's drink - complete with yellow umbrella and orange ring - and two glasses of water, one of which he offered to Steve.
"I guess you don't drink at work, so I got you this."
"Thanks, Danny."
He needed to get out of here now, draw the inevitable conclusion and work around it.
With a hand on Danny's knee, Steve commanded his attention back on him.
"Danny, can I talk to you ? Somewhere more private ?"
"Sure. Leslie, duty calls. I'll see you later. And thanks again for your help."
"You're welcome, honey. Ring me up if you're available."
Her amused smile was directed at Steve who simply nodded and left, knowing Danny was following closely.
Steve led the way to a maintenance office that was thankfully empty at the moment. He closed the door behind Danny, willing himself to ignore the half-naked state of the man.
"You're not mad at me anymore ? You're still working the case ?"
"Babe, I've got a thick skin. If I let any bumbling idiot's anger stop me, I'd never have solved all the crimes I did in my time with the police."
Steve thought it best not to ask if the bumbling idiot was supposed to be him or Kamekona.
"There was another theft last night," he announced instead. "Not a purse this time, but a man's wallet. The casino manager talked with the guy, he said he might have lost it any time after he left the casino around 11 PM to the moment he went to bed around 3 AM. He went to at least three bars and a lounge in the meantime, that he can recall. He wouldn't have been able to pay if his wallet had already been stolen, so that means in all probability that the theft happened around 3 AM."
"Maybe we should introduce him to Leslie, they seem to keep the same kind of schedule."
Steve didn't need to ask how Danny knew that.
"How did you meet her ?" Steve questioned anyway, oh so nonchalantly.
"On purpose. Yesterday morning, I went to watch some of the security videos with Pua and on the spur of the moment, I decided to check Leslie's whereabouts that night, before the time she thought the theft had happened. And I realized Hirsch's report was sketchy at best."
"You're implying Hirsch lied ?" Steve rephrased, blandly.
Danny grimaced.
"I saw someone coming out of the bathroom where Leslie got robbed. A man, but he's hiding his face from the camera and you can't recognize him, plus the light had been dimmed too much, probably intentionally, to make much of his attire either, even if it does look like these uniforms your crew wears. Look, I'm not here to have another row with you. I know it's your ship, and your crew, and you'll do whatever the hell you want with my findings. All I have to say is that this man is hiding something, and if you want to solve your case, you might want to keep him under surveillance."
"No, Danny, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry for going off on you yesterday. I was pissed about something else and I took it out on you, okay ?"
"Okay…" Danny accepted, still guarded. "So what did you mean ?"
"I… it's not easy for me to acknowledge that there might be a bad apple in this barrel. A way worse apple than I thought."
"And yet, this might be the opportunity for you to get rid at last of this metaphorical fruit, right ?"
"It sure is !" Steve got over his hurt. "And I bet you already have an idea on how to foil the guilty party."
"As a matter of fact, I do, Steven. I'm just not sure you're willing to listen."
"You're going to make me pay for my outburst ?"
"Absolutely."
"How long ?"
"Not sure yet. I'll let you know."
"Okay. Will you tell me about your plan anyway ?"
"I plan on it."
"When ?"
"Soon."
"You're going to make me run around the whole ship just like you did two days ago ? Or you're going to interview me first to make sure I'm not guilty, because you have to interrogate me before you can, I quote, 'eliminate me as the culprit' ?"
"I'm going to eliminate you alright if you keep that up."
"Really, Danny, I'm shocked by your language. After everything I did for you !"
"What exactly did you do for me ? Besides having that old, pontificating guy sitting next to me last night at your table."
"That wasn't so bad. At least you got to talk to me. I didn't have that kind of consolation the night before."
"So I'm your consolation prize, now ? Need I remind you that I'm the passenger, and thus the one who is supposed to be entertained, not the other way around ? Hence the price for my help."
"Which is ? All this talk and you still haven't told me what you want."
"I'll tell you everything after you've invited me for lunch. I need fuel before I do all the hard work for you."
Steve smiled and got closer to Danny. He felt sure now that he had it in himself to get Danny's forgiveness soon.
"That could be arranged," he said, "if you're in a better mood than yesterday."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Leslie was very impressed by my gentlemanly attitude."
"Kamekona wasn't, and neither was I."
"Maybe I wasn’t in the most sunny disposition with your chef, but that’s entirely your fault. You wouldn’t answer your phone."
Steve could only smile at that, because it was the proof that Danny had been annoyed not to be able to reach him, just like Steve didn't deal well with Danny being out of his reach. They needed each other just as badly.
Raising a hand that he brought up to Danny's neck, he slid his fingers over Danny's stubble. With the tip of his thumb, he brushed Danny's cheekbone, learning the feel of his skin.
He didn't want to wait any longer. More than half the cruise had passed and if he had any chance of convincing Danny to stay in Hawaii, he had to go for it.
Danny stood still, eyes locked with Steve's as Steve slowly leaned down.
The door opened, and the voice of Steve's cruise director sounded loud and clear, and far too close.
"Err… sorry to interrupt, Captain."
Steve let go of Danny as if burned.
"What is it, Meka ?"
"We had a meeting at 12:00 PM and we're already fifteen minutes late. Should we reschedule ?"
"Don't bother on my account," Danny answered for Steve. "I'll grab lunch and meet you later when you're not so busy or jumpy."
There was nothing Steve could say in front of his subordinate.
-------------
His meeting with Kono had gone well. Eddie was particularly impatient for the next show, something off the beaten track that he wasn't sure would be approved by the powers that be, considering a cruise audience might not quite be the avant-garde. But Kono had checked with her colleagues and her boss and Eddie was good to go. He hoped Buck would be there this time to observe, the dance as well as the public, to be able to tell him what he thought afterwards. Eddie's confidence in Buck encompassed so many areas he would feel quite lost without his loving support.
"Eddie !" he heard from somewhere to the left as he was about to enter the restaurant where he was supposed to meet with Buck and Chris. "Right over here."
He saw a hand waving at him and recognized the guy from last night. The man was even more gorgeous in broad daylight, muscled in all the right places, and yet Eddie only felt impatience at being delayed. But this was a fan, and his career depended on people like him who gave time and money to support him. The least he could do was show his appreciation and spending a moment with a fan wouldn't change anything about this pretty awesome day he was having.
"Derek, is that right ?" he asked while they shook hands.
"Good memory, man. Can I offer you a drink ?"
"Maybe something nonalcoholic."
"Okay, let me get the bartender."
While they were waiting, Derek turned towards Eddie and he seemed a lot less gung-ho than the previous night where alcohol had probably been involved.
"Eddie, I hope I didn't come on too strong last night, and that I didn't ruin your evening. Your friend didn't seem too happy with me."
"Don't worry. We needed some time to ourselves, that's it. No harm done."
"I imagine this kind of cruise means being constantly on display for someone like you. Not just relaxing like us, simple people, get to do every day."
Eddie laughed, oddly touched by the way the guy was able to put himself in his place.
"You know, I feel very much like one of those simple people. All I want in life is being able to take care of my family and enjoy my job."
"You do sound like your feet are firmly on the ground."
"I'm a father, I need to."
"He's a lucky kid."
"I’m the lucky one."
The bartender was still occupied by a large group of passengers and Eddie was getting impatient.
"Derek, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to leave, my family's waiting for me at the restaurant, but it was nice talking with you."
"Wait ! Can we take a selfie together ? It's not for any social media, just for me, a souvenir."
"Sure. How do you want to do it ?"
"Side by side ?"
"Okay."
Eddie came next to Derek, allowing the arm around his shoulders despite Buck's words ringing loud in his mind while Derek raised the other to bring his iPhone high and far enough to get them both in the picture. Eddie smiled his biggest and friendliest smile for the camera, as he was used to do pretty much every day when he was stopped outside by fans.
Another smile took over Eddie's face, more reserved but also much more loving, when he saw Buck and Chris coming his way behind Derek. They too smiled at him and hurried a bit to get to him faster.
Derek hadn't seen them, this was made obvious by the way he suddenly leaned in to lay a kiss on Eddie's mouth. It came out of the blue and left Eddie dumbfounded enough that Derek probably imagined that his lack of reaction meant it was okay to go on.
"Dad !" Chris yelled, shocked and furious.
Derek drew back, licking his lips and looking at Eddie's with something like hunger before he turned towards Chris.
"Listen, kid," Derek tried to explain, gentle despite being upset with the interruption, "your dad and I are doing nothing wrong."
Derek had clearly misinterpreted Chris' reaction as a show of homophobia instead of the kid's natural possessiveness over his last remaining parent.
"No," Eddie replied, getting back to his senses and pushing the guy away, "you were doing something I didn't want, something I reserve for somebody else. Please, leave us alone."
Eddie could see that Derek was startled by the coolness of his reaction, but he couldn't care less. The man had taken liberties he had to know might backfire on him. And frankly, the only thing Eddie cared about was Chris' anger and the look of betrayal Buck was giving him, unable to voice his own anger.
Up until Eddie walked up to him and Chris, jerking back from Eddie's tentative touch on his arm.
"Take care of your son, Eddie," Buck spat out. "He needs an explanation and I really don't want to see you right now."
Buck bent to kiss Chris' hair.
"I'll talk to you later, buddy," he said, adding something that Eddie couldn't hear that had Chris crying 'No !' and clutching Buck hard.
With a last hug, Buck turned away and left, dismissing Eddie entirely.
-------------
Chapter 10 - Day 8
They were both miserable and it showed.
Chris hardly touched his food and Eddie found he didn't have an appetite either anymore.
He was maybe sulking a bit, thinking he had done nothing wrong to get punished by his lover. But he knew that was not what had Buck angry with him, rather the fact that he couldn't push the guy away and stake his own claim. Not in front of Christopher, who had reacted as badly as in any of Eddie's nightmares at seeing him with someone else.
That moment finding Eddie kissed by another man had probably been the embodiment of every one of Buck's worst fears and then some. Eddie couldn't get out of his mind the sheer betrayal he had read on Buck's face, the hurt and desperation. All for a guy Eddie hardly remembered the name of, one that he wouldn't ever see again as soon as they were off the ship and back home.
Because Buck had to come back home with them. They couldn't end it like that, not for such a stupid reason and a stupid guy who didn't count at all. They may not be a couple to the eyes of the rest of the world, but they knew, deep in their hearts, that they belonged to each other, and Buck had to feel it too.
Eddie did his best not to let the growing panic show on his face in front of Christopher, and it wasn't that hard, considering Chris was pretty much sulking too and ignored Eddie in a way that was frighteningly reminiscent of his late mother.
He tried to be a good father and bribed him with many activities he knew Chris enjoyed more than any other, but every offer was met with a glum no.
Finally at his wit's end, Eddie decided they needed to have a father/son conversation and led Chris back to their rooms.
"Chris, we need to talk about what you think you saw when that man kissed me," was Eddie's opener, sure to get an answer this time.
"I don't want to," Chris grumbled.
"We need to," Eddie repeated. "What do you think happened there ?"
"You kissed him because you like him. I don't know why."
"That's not what happened. You see, that's why we need to talk. I didn't want that man to kiss me. He did it, and I told him I didn't agree."
"So why did he do it ?"
"Because he likes me, I guess."
"How do you know if someone loves you back ?"
"That's a very good question, and a very difficult thing. You know, all people don't react the same way. You think someone likes you too but they were just friendly with you. Or it's the other way around. You just have to let them gently know that you appreciate them, but not like that."
"It looks hard."
"It can be."
"You were angry with that man today. You didn't tell him gently."
"No, and I'm not proud of myself."
"Why did you do it ?"
"I guess because I didn't want you and Buck to see that and think there was something going on. I know I haven't spent as much time with you and Buck as I'd have liked, here during the cruise."
"That's okay, Dad, you told me you had to work, and it's fun spending a lot of time with Buck, Gracie and Charlie. Even Mr. Williams is fun, too. He talks a lot, and Buck says he uses his hands all the time when he speaks."
"That he does," Eddie laughed, relieved to see that Chris wasn't mad anymore and that this cruise wasn't a total loss.
Maybe Buck would calm down too, soon, and they could have a big family hug to put it all past them, enjoy their remaining time on the ship, drama-free if possible.
"Dad, why can't you be in love with Buck ?"
Lightning striking him directly wouldn't have rendered him more speechless than this innocent question.
"What ?" he croaked, forcing himself to try and understand Chris' real meaning.
"Buck loves you. He wants to date you and be with us, but you're always dancing with other people, or taking pictures with them, you don't look at him."
He guessed it could look like that to Chris, since Eddie was always so careful not to act as Buck's boyfriend in his son's presence. Maybe he'd gone too far, and that explained once again Buck's desperation.
Eddie put his hands on Chris' shoulders to see his eyes. This was too important to mess up, he had to know for sure.
"Chris, when I asked you if you'd be okay with me dating someone else and bringing them home, you said you didn't want me to. That you wanted things the way they were."
"Because I wanted just you and Buck, like before Mom died. But Buck isn't happy, and now he says he wants to leave, that he could find another job, with someone who really needs him. And if he's not with us for work, I'll never get to see him again. You have to tell him to stay, that you need him."
Eddie fell to his knees, hands still on his son's shoulders bringing him that much closer.
"Chris, I am in love with Buck, so much. I have been for a very long while, but I thought you didn't want me to be with anyone other than your mom, that's why I didn't tell you. I wanted to give you the time to think about it, get used to the idea of someone else in our lives. I didn't understand you thought Buck was already part of our family."
Seeing the beginning of a smile on Chris' face, Eddie took him in his arms for a hug. He suddenly felt like there was an end to this tunnel, a way to make everyone happy, to create a life and a future for the three of them.
"I'm so sorry, mijo," he whispered in Chris' ear. "I should have asked about Buck specifically, not speak in general terms. You've always loved Buck so much."
"It's okay, Dad," Chris patted him on the back, one of his crutches hitting Eddie's leg with the movement, "you can make it better, but you have to run to find Buck."
Eddie pulled back at these words.
"What do you mean ?"
"Buck !" Chris cried, impatient. "He wants to leave the ship to go home early. You have to find him before he's gone. Tell him you love him, not that awful man you kissed."
Eddie stared at his son, trying to make sense of his words. He couldn't accept the idea of Buck leaving them behind, being at the end of his patience and throwing away everything they had built, and as usual anger was Eddie's first response. But the look on Buck's face when he had seen him kissed by another guy would remain forever etched in his mind. It was not important whether Eddie had wanted it or not, just that Buck had had to face all of his worst fears in this moment, and Eddie hadn't even tried to call him back.
And now Buck was leaving.
Eddie stood up so quickly that he felt slightly dizzy for a second.
"Let's go," he told Chris as he took him in his arms, "we're going to ask Buck to come live with us."
Chris laughed out loud, delighted in a way that put to rest any lingering doubt in Eddie's heart.
They tried Buck's bedroom first but found it empty. Eddie tried not to alarm Chris but he remarked immediately that the room was spotless, Buck's suitcase and personal stuff obviously missing. They went through the different places Buck liked the most on the ship, still in vain.
When they finally met Kono, they asked her if she had seen Buck and her faltering smile was all the answer Eddie needed to know he was too late.
"I'm sorry, Eddie," Kono answered. "He disembarked two hours ago."
Eddie had to sit down.
Lieutenant Kelly only confirmed Kono's news. Buck had disembarked, asking him for directions to the closest airport so he could fly back to Oahu and then catch an early flight home. For Eddie's ears only, he added that they had also commiserated over lost love and harsh reality check.
Eddie's decision was the easiest one ever. He would find Buck at the airport and bring him back to the ship.
He couldn't find Danny but Rachel and Stan Edwards offered to take care of Chris while he was ashore.
"Daddy ! I want to come too ! To tell Buck he can be my second dad and I love him."
Eddie had to force the words through the lump in his throat.
"I know, buddy. But this is something I need to do alone first, to prove to Buck that I want to be with him. You can tell him as soon as we're back."
For there was no doubt in Eddie's mind that he would find Buck and bring him back. He tried to call him many times on the way to the airport, stopping only when he realized that his battery was going to be flat soon since he had forgotten to recharge it after those fabulous moments spent with Buck last night, and he felt a frustration deep in his bones that could only be matched by his anger, all directed at himself.
He was going to lose Buck forever, and he only had himself to blame for not trying hard enough. For not making it clear enough how much he loved him, for letting him believe he was not important enough to fight on his behalf, to try and change his son's mind. He was afraid by the idea that Buck had been totally sincere with Chris and that maybe he thought Eddie was full of it, that he knew already that Chris had no problem with him being with his father. Maybe he thought Eddie had lied from the beginning, using Chris as an excuse to keep him at arm's length.
Eddie had been living for so long in the status quo because it was easy, and comfortable. And now he was paying for it.
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Steve had badly messed up with the way he reacted to Meka's appearance and now Danny was playing it cool, exclusively talking about the case.
Steve allowed it, thinking that the sooner they were done with Hirsch, the sooner he could take the time to sit Danny down and be honest with him. He didn't even want to know how Danny would react to the whole helping Stan plan but he hoped, because of the way Danny had seemed to welcome the kiss that had almost happened, that he would be amenable to the possibility of moving to Oahu and see if something strong and true could begin between them.
He had even started to entertain another hope that he didn't want to think about right now, for fear he would screw it up or jinx it. But in case they managed to catch Hirsch, then Steve could get rid of him at last… and yes, Steve was aware that being a security officer on a cruise ship wasn't the same thing as being a cop, even a small-town one, but Danny had told him about his rather difficult relationship with his boss, how many times they would clash because the guy was a hardass who didn't believe in second chances and happily sent to jail kids who didn't need more despair but a bit of understanding and a good dressing-down to show them someone cared and to help them make better life choices. Danny was tired of fighting him all the time. So maybe he would be willing to listen to a different kind of job offer.
But to give his dream a chance to come to pass, Steve had to send Hirsch packing first, hopefully straight to Halawa.
Hirsch came to Steve's quarters right on time after being summoned. Danny stood up as the other man entered.
"Captain, I'm gonna head to the pool now, the kids are waiting for me."
"Okay. Thanks for your help, Danny. And don't forget we'll meet tonight for the concert."
"I won't. You two have a good day."
Danny left on a friendly smile for Hirsch and Steve indicated the vacated chair for his officer to sit down.
"So, where are you with those thefts ? Danny was just telling me he talked with that man who was last robbed and nothing came out."
Hirsch coughed then looked at Steve with his owlish eyes.
"I'm afraid I don't have much more to report, Captain. I think we're dealing either with a very good professional who is not going to let himself be stopped, or with someone who's just taking advantage of the opportunities presented to him, so that we have nearly no hope of catching him, one case or the other."
Even the way Hirsch talked, fussy, or precious maybe, was getting on Steve's nerves. He forced a smile anyway. He didn't want Hirsch to realize something was amiss.
"Keep your eyes open, and do your best. We have six more days to find the thief. Let's show HPD that they have nothing on our security department."
"Sure, Captain. I'll get back to it right now."
Hirsch scurried out of Steve's quarters like he had seen the devil and needed to find an exorcist right away. He would have run twice as fast had he seen Steve's predatory expression.
Steve kept to his usual schedule for the rest of the afternoon, arguing with himself about going to see Danny but their plan didn't include seeing each other before the concert. It was probably prudent to stick to it and not even risk inviting Danny for a drink after dinner, both to avoid alerting Hirsch and to get back in Danny's good graces by showing he trusted him enough to follow his scheme.
Everything was in place, the people involved fully briefed. Everybody knew what they needed to do to make it work.
The only thing Steve could do now was wait and hope for the best.
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Chapter 11 - Day 8
There was absolutely no way to be sure Buck would stick to his plan and come to the airport to catch an early flight. Maybe talking with Lieutenant Kelly had been part of a plan to send Eddie in the wrong direction, but he had to hope that Buck wanted to be found. Wanted Eddie to come after him and show he couldn't live without Buck.
The wait was insufferable. Even when Eddie finally got his phone recharged, Buck wasn't picking up his or answering his messages. He was closing himself off and Eddie felt some of the hurt Buck had experienced now twisting his insides with a vengeance.
Checking for any tall, blond guy walking around, Eddie had nothing to do but think and beat himself up for not making things right earlier. They had all suffered in silence for his mistake. Had he been sabotaging himself, like Shannon had accused him of once ? He didn't think so. He had tried so hard to keep the status quo, afraid of tipping the balance to one side or the other and losing the love of one of the two most important people in his life, making no waves in order to keep them both happy even though he craved more, wanting Buck at all times in his life, side by side, especially at night, every night, not just when Chris was sleeping at abuela's or back for a few days with his parents in Texas.
Eddie was one possessive son of a bitch, and he was well aware of the way people of both sexes looked at Buck and instantly wanted him. He had needed to put his claim on him out there for all those years, keeping his sanity only because he knew Buck loved him and Chris too much to do anything to put their relationship in jeopardy. Probably also because he had faith in Eddie's fidelity. A faith that had finally been broken despite Eddie's best intentions.
The cruise had been illuminating, if nothing else. Not only because of Chris' admission that might finally change their lives for the best if he wasn't too late, but because Eddie had realized, now placed in a different environment, how he was living, the image he was sending to the world, closed off and distant to the man he said he loved so much.
But he was so damn proud of being Buck's lover that he hadn't stopped gushing about him any occasion he could get. He was normally not a very talkative man, although Buck had helped cure him of his habit of keeping things bottled up. But put him in front of a cop far too talented in the art of interrogation, and Eddie was spilling all his secrets, enough that said cop had no trouble seeing through Eddie's half-truths.
The only thing Eddie wanted now was to be offered the opportunity to show off Buck for the remainder of the cruise, take him in his arms, walk so close to him that no one could mistake them for simple friends but knew instantly they were lovers and crazy about each other.
And suddenly Eddie saw him. Taller than all people around him, so handsome, and so sad as he was standing in the line to embark, eyes lost in the distance.
He probably could watch him for a much longer time, but the goal was to bring him back and make sure Buck knew he was not alone. The only way to achieve this that Eddie could think of was to boldly show him.
He walked up to Buck. With a hand on his neck, he turned his head so that their eyes could meet. Before Buck could try to resist or back away, Eddie leaned up and kissed him. He used Buck's attempt at talking to sneak his tongue inside his mouth and soon Buck was kissing him back, crossing his arms around his waist as Eddie did the same around Buck's neck.
It was exhilarating to think that maybe some people had recognized him and were taking photos that would show him at last with his lover. Photos that would appear on the internet or in rags, he didn't care. Anything to show Buck he wasn't afraid anymore.
When they came up for air, Eddie read a thousand questions in Buck's eyes.
"Come with me," he said, not wanting to get through this explanation in public.
"Eddie," Buck resisted, "I have a flight booked, I can't leave."
"If you take this flight, I'm going with you. Anywhere you go, I go. We're together, Buck."
"What about Chris ?"
There were flaws in Eddie's plan, and so what ? The truth of his statement still stood.
"He goes too," Eddie replied. "Which means you can't leave now and you have to get back to the ship with me."
Buck's resistance crumbled quickly, with the help of another kiss. Eddie only needed to take his hand and Buck followed, all the fight gone out of him in this moment.
Eddie had anticipated their need to talk, and to do it privately. He had booked a room in the nearest hotel, using his name to rush things a bit, and they were able to get there and be shown into their room in record time.
Once alone, Eddie took Buck's big bag from his shoulder and took him in his arms again for more kisses.
"You scared me so much, Buck. You have to promise me never to leave again like that, even if you're mad at me. I need to know you'll talk to me, that I can make things right between us."
"What changed, Eddie ? Why did you kiss me in public at the airport ? You know there are guys waiting for celebrities showing up in those kind of places. You took a big risk."
"You're worth it, because I love you. And because Chris talked some sense into me."
"Chris ? You talked to him about me ?"
"Try the other way around. He's much braver than me. And he's seen a lot of things where I was trying to act normal. He took me to task, asking why I couldn’t be in love with you. Which left me speechless for a moment, until I caught up and realized my son actually wanted us to be together and I've made both of us miserable for such a long time I wonder how you'll ever be able to forgive me."
There were tears, joy and pain combined, in Buck's eyes.
"There's nothing to forgive, if you promise me we can be together now. A real couple."
"I promise. I'll take all the vows you need me to if in exchange you promise never to leave me again."
"Deal."
They stopped talking to kiss again, quickly stripping each other of their clothes. Buck pushed Eddie on the huge bed, turning him to get him on all fours and Eddie relinquished control to give a portion of it back to his lover who had badly missed it for so long.
After caressing Eddie's neck with his lips, Buck followed his spine down to his ass, kissing every vertebra as his hands stroked Eddie's sides until the moment they took Eddie's cock to get him to complete erection. It took little time, especially after Buck's mouth began playing with his ass, biting a few times into his cheeks, and then moving down Eddie's crack to reach his hole.
Eddie spread his legs as much as he could and pushed his ass to make sure Buck wouldn't stop going down on him that way. Buck knew it would make him quickly crazy and he kept licking his way into Eddie for as long as he could. Eddie was pretty sure the only reason why he stopped at some point had to do with the pressing need of Buck's cock that was now asking for entrance and pushing almost immediately to rid Eddie of all the air in his lungs.
It was almost brutal, and Eddie had to hold on for dear life. It was also so possessive he knew he was being claimed forever and he pushed back to give as much as he got. They were not going to last long but this was about more than that, one of those vows Eddie had said he would take for Buck's sake, and he did, opening himself for his lover until Buck shot his load in him.
Eddie didn't know where Buck found the energy but he soon found himself turned around once more, Buck's fingers back in his ass while his head was bobbing down on his dick to make him come hard and fast.
When Eddie resurfaced, Buck was still playing with his ass and he was gently feasting on Eddie's right nipple.
"The left one is feeling abandoned," Eddie whispered, totally spent but always more than okay with Buck showing his nipples some love.
And Buck did, just like he kept playing with Eddie's whole body for a while.
There was something to be said for make-up sex, Eddie thought, but still, he didn't ever want to live through the bad moments that had led them here again.
"Buck, did you really believe that man meant anything to me ?"
"He was gorgeous," Buck tried to joke from the place where he was lying on Eddie, ear to his heart, fingers playing with Eddie's chest hair.
"And so are you. But you know that's not what matters to me."
"I know, I just…"
Buck came to a halt, lost in his thoughts.
"Tell me," Eddie encouraged him to go on with a caress to his head.
"You know that woman, the one I thought I recognized the other day in the dining room ?"
Eddie was glad Buck was bringing the topic up himself.
"I remember. I wanted to talk to you about her but we never found the time."
"I told you she was my shrink. She was also my lover."
Eddie gasped, thrown off by the revelation.
"I thought there were rules about that ?! That sleeping with a patient was strictly forbidden ?"
"There are, and we shouldn’t have done it, I was stupid enough to let it happen, and I can’t forget or forgive myself. I went to see a psychiatrist exactly because of that kind of thing - because I felt it was impossible for me to have a relationship beyond sex. And she kind of proved it once again."
Eddie felt his heart break for Buck, now able to evaluate how much he had hurt him, forcing him to be his dirty little secret for so many years.
"Just like I did, right ?"
Buck grimaced, not agreeing but not denying either.
"I understand your need to protect Chris, really I do, and I always did. Yet at the same time recently I felt like the same story was happening all over again. I'm good enough for the sex, but not good enough to be relationship material.
Eddie dragged his lover into his arms, burying his face in his neck and closing his eyes, hard, to keep his tears from falling down.
"I love you so much, Buck. It was never just about the sex between you and me. I feel like I’m more alive when you’re in me but I never feel as content with life as when you stand by me. You and Chris, you make my world go round."
Buck let a sob out.
"Why Eddie Diaz, I didn’t know you had it in you to be a poet," Buck answered when he found his voice again.
They remained in each other's arms for a while, lazily kissing and caressing whenever they felt like it, until the moment Eddie's phone rang to remind him of the time.
"We need to go back to the ship before they cast off without us."
"Okay," Buck sighed. "Can we sleep together on board tonight ?"
'If you think I'm letting you go back to your room, you're delusional, Mister Buckley."
They didn't have time for a shower but cleaned up as well as they could in a hurry. Then they got dressed and prepared, but it wasn't until he was about to go to the door that Eddie realized Buck had slowed down, playing with his dirty shirt instead of putting it in his bag.
"Is something wrong ?" Eddie couldn't help panicking a bit.
Buck raised his head and looked him in the eyes.
"What would have happened if Chris didn't want you to date me ?"
"What do you mean ?"
Buck shrugged.
"I think it's clear enough. If Chris wasn't okay with you and me as a couple, would you have come to find me anyway ? Or would you have let me go ?"
There was only one answer possible to that question, and Eddie didn't need to think about it at all.
He closed the distance between them and took Buck in his arms.
"I would have come. Even if you didn't want me anymore, you'd still be my best friend, and I'd still love you. Apart from Chris, there's no one I love more than you in this world, Buck. You're it for me. I don't want anyone else. I would have found a way to get Chris to see how much we need you with us. Hell, I'd have brought him with me to force you to listen and come back to me."
Eddie kissed Buck, fiercely, possessively.
"You won't ever get rid of me, Evan Buckley. Someday, soon, you will marry me, and the whole world will know that I belong to you. Do you believe me ?"
"I do, Edmundo Diaz. And I want to marry you."
"So let's get back to the Pearl of Hawaii. Chris was just as worried as me. Don't be surprised if he doesn't let you go more than two or three steps away from him for the rest of the cruise."
Eddie texted the Edwards so that Chris was waiting for them by the time they got on board, immediately throwing himself into Buck's arms. Eddie had to let go of Buck's hand but he joined the hug, making it a family one, the first of many.
They let go only for Eddie to kiss Buck again.
"I promise you one thing," Eddie vowed in a private whisper, "I'll take you on another cruise soon, just the two of us, for our honeymoon."
Buck leaned down and kissed him once more. And then, before Eddie could stop him, Buck leaned even more and took him in his arms, bridal style.
Chris laughed harder than ever and followed them amid the laughter and applause of the people milling around. Eddie could only keep kissing Buck.
To chapter 12