The love boat chapters 7 and 8
Chapter 7 - Day 6
Chapter's notes : for those who don't know/remember, Autumn Reeser, who plays the lovely Gabrielle Asano in H50, also had a small part in 9-1-1 (season 1). Maddie is Buck's sister and Chim her boyfriend. Abuela means grandmother (Eddie's in this case), Pepa (Josephina) is Eddie's aunt and Adriana and Sophia are his sisters.
"Daddy, can I stay with Grace and Charlie for dinner ?"
Eddie sighed. He wasn't upset with Chris for wanting to spend more time with his friends, he just didn't want him to feel sad if the kids' parents had seen enough of him for one day.
Eddie and Buck had gone on a hike all afternoon, enjoying time together far from the public eye, while Chris had enrolled in a game at the kids' center led by two crewwomen called Lori and Jenna. Both had made a good impression on him but still Eddie had hesitated to leave Chris alone. Until once again Danny Williams had assuaged his worries by assuring him his ex-wife and her new shiny husband would be there to watch over his own kids from afar and it'd be easy for them to extend their surveillance to Eddie's kid.
Eddie thought he had made the right decision. It was obvious Chris had had a blast playing for hours with his friends, and he didn't feel like ending it yet.
"Chris, you know you need Grace and Charlie's parents to ask you first ?"
"It's alright, Mr. Diaz," a woman intervened. "I'm Rachel Edwards, Grace and Charlie's mother. You don't know me or my husband Stan but we'll be eating in the same room at the same time as you, so Christopher can rejoin you as soon as dinner's over and you can feel safe and check on him anytime."
The man next to her waved awkwardly - Stan, obviously - as if he hadn't been consulted any more than Eddie beforehand. Danny had alluded to him on the night they had dinner together at the captain's table, saying it was hard to hate the guy even though he had stolen his wife. Coming from someone like Danny, it felt like a ringing endorsement.
As if Eddie had summoned him, the man magically appeared next to their little group.
"And here I thought I was going to eat with my two favorite people in the world, but I see you've found a better companion."
Danny brushed Chris' hair out of his face, and Eddie watched as his kid sent the man his trademark smile that had everyone loving him.
"Hey man," Buck got Danny's attention with a hand on his shoulder, "what about dinner with us since we're all left behind ?"
Chris laughed at Buck's playful overreaction, and Buck of course bent down to kiss his head.
"He's right," Eddie approved. "It will be a lot less formal than the captain's table. Come on, say yes."
It didn't take long for Danny to agree with the invitation and each party joined their own table. As Rachel had said, they could watch each other and Eddie felt immediately better for this reassurance. He was pretty sure the two other men shared this feeling all the way.
The conversation was a bit stilted in the first few minutes, but Buck and Danny were more than able to make up for Eddie's shortcoming in that particular area, Danny making gentle fun of him and the obvious differences between the two friends.
"How did you two meet ?" Danny asked him at some point.
"In college, actually. A woman was assaulted and we both ran to help her."
"What Eddie doesn't say," Buck cut him off, "is that he managed to catch the guy and his testimony sent him to jail."
"Our testimony," Eddie amended, "as well as the woman's - Karen, she's now a tenured professor and still one of our best friends with her wife Hen, and their son is good friends with Chris. But we didn't know her back then. It's just that I had a part-time job working security, it felt natural for me to go after him."
Eddie turned to Buck.
"And you took care of Karen, which was just as important, she was so freaked out. You were her knight in shining armor in that moment."
"Good job, guys," Danny approved. "As a cop, I can only congratulate you for your actions. I wish more people would come to strangers' help. Maybe the bad guys would think twice about harming others if they knew they couldn't get away with it so easily."
"I was in the army for a while, so as I said, it felt only natural to me. Buck, on the other hand, always listens to his big heart," Eddie added, patting his lover's hand and chuckling at his blushing face. "Anyway, that was the first time we crossed paths. We exchanged phone numbers, and then we realized we had one class together, and we became fast friends. Or to be really accurate, I probably should say that Chris and I, we adopted him."
Eddie didn't add how Buck had stuck with him through thick and thin, Eddie's divorce a few weeks prior to Shannon's death, Eddie's nightmares and Chris' grief. The kid was so young and probably didn't realize what was happening, but he missed his mother all the same. Buck had been there for it all, asking only to be loved in return.
It had taken a while for Eddie to catch up with the kind of love they did share. But then becoming lovers had been so easy, it felt like coming home and Eddie had never looked back. Never been tempted to look for someone else.
"So if you were friends," Danny asked Buck, bringing Eddie back to the here and now, "how did you become his PA ?"
"I was kind of going through the motions at college, to be honest," Buck chuckled. "I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, I switched majors because I was interested in so many things but couldn't decide what to study first. My part-time job was tending bar but I didn't imagine doing that all my life, unlike Eddie…"
"Yes and no. I was like you in that I didn't know what to do with myself, and I did consider for a while leaving it all behind in order to become a full-fledged security agent. Living in LA, it's easy imagining yourself as the personal bodyguard of some big-headed celebrity who wants to show off their importance to the rest of the world by having a guy two steps behind watching out for them."
"Not when they keep getting jealous that their bodyguard's pretty face attracts more attention than their own, or when they try to get in his pants on a daily basis."
Eddie shuddered at the reminder of some of the situations Buck alluded to. Twice he had woken up to find the person he was supposed to protect getting into his bed, as if he was part of the deal. That had to be the worst memories of that time, and he never regretted quitting the job altogether to give dance his whole time and effort.
"Buck's right, it could get pretty awful at times. But it helped in deciding to follow his advice and make the decision to try for an artistic career."
"Not an easy decision, I guess. The nightmare of quite a few parents."
Eddie's eyes narrowed, the cop was far too perceptive.
"Yeah, mine weren't thrilled, but I had long left home so they didn't have a say in this choice. Buck was ready to support us so I gave it a few months to try and see if there was a chance for me to make it work."
"And it did, obviously."
Eddie grinned at Buck and let him take his hand without thinking.
"It did, all thanks to Buck."
"How's that ? I would think your talent has something to do with your success, right ?" Danny joked.
"It has everything to do with it," Buck stated, almost offended on Eddie's behalf. "He's too modest to admit it, but he's the best out there."
Eddie squeezed the hand still in his, looking at Buck with all the gratitude he felt in his heart, until he remembered they were in public and let it go. He knew he was hurting Buck but it couldn't be helped, and he tried to make up for it with his words.
"Thanks, man, but all the talent in the world wouldn't have mattered if it weren't for you giving me the chance to make a difference."
Eddie turned back towards Danny Williams.
"He’s good with people, you know ? He’s got this huge talent for talking with them and getting them to see his point of view, to embrace it. That’s how he got me my agent, the famous Bobby Nash. He had the nerve to go for it…"
Blushing and smiling big, both at the same time, Buck tried to make the whole story look more fun than hard work.
"You mean I made a nuisance of myself until the guy agreed to properly meet me and see your vids for a chance to get rid of me at last."
"But it worked ! Without Bobby, I wouldn't have been on that show, and we wouldn't be here today. And if you weren't so good at what you do, Bobby wouldn't have tried so many times to get you to work for him instead of losing your time with me."
Unconsciously, he looked for Buck's hand and it was only because he almost brought it to his lips that Eddie realized he was once again holding it and had to make a conscious effort to let it go.
"So," Danny summed up, eyes on their parting hands, "I guess I can say you two formed a strong, mutual appreciation society ?"
"I guess so," Buck approved. "Eddie finding his way helped me find mine. I spent my last year in college studying artistic management and applying everything I learned on the spot. I got this fantastic advantage, having a real test subject at hand, you know. And I was lucky that he was so good I didn't have much to do to get him jobs in various venues while I was working on Bobby Nash. I knew if I could get him to take Eddie under his wing, we would be set for life. And I was right… well, I'll get back to you on the whole life thing, but Eddie's got them all under his spell, so I'm feeling pretty good about it."
"Don't jinx it !" Eddie rolled his eyes, fingering his St. Christopher medallion to make himself feel better.
"What kind of medal is that ?" Danny asked.
"Saint Christopher. Shannon - Chris' mother - offered it to me when I left for my tour in Afghanistan. It was both for protection and a reminder that I had a son to come back to."
"Can I ask what happened to her ?"
It was Buck's turn to put a hand on Eddie's shoulder in support, but Eddie fidgeted enough, uncomfortable with the show of affection when Christopher could see them, that he quickly took it off.
"You're divorced, so I guess you know how it is. How difficult it can be to live with someone, even if you love them with all your heart. And my going far away to fight a war didn't help, on the contrary. Shannon and me, we kept arguing all the time, most of all about Christopher and my ability to raise him, and coming back home didn't help, so we decided we were better off going our separate ways. She died a few weeks after the divorce in a hit-and-run."
"How old was Christopher ?"
Eddie was grateful for the lack of platitudes and the real concern for his kid he could feel in Danny.
"Four. Old enough to feel the loss of his mother. Maybe not enough to really understand where and why she was gone."
"You two knew each other already ?"
"Yeah," Buck answered first. "It was heartbreaking to see Eddie and Chris struggling with it."
"But you're the only reason we made it through," Eddie said, heartfelt. "I remember Chris would never let either of us out of his sight. You didn't go back home for a while because Chris cried every time you tried to leave."
"He did the same with you."
"He did, but I'm his father, it's a given."
"I can't imagine what you went through," Danny finally said, "but I guess that's one of the reasons, the main one perhaps, why you three give off such family vibes."
Buck's face literally lit up at those words.
"That's what I always tell Eddie. That we don't need blood to feel related."
"I guess that's what Steve told me they call ohana in these islands. An extended family."
"I like that," Buck said, "I'll remember it !"
"That's a pretty nice idea, right ? Not just the people you share blood with, but the friends you made, and the ones to come. Anyone you love can be part of this family, your ohana."
Buck turned to him with the joyous exaltation that was his trademark expression when he just learned something he deemed awesome.
"Do you hear that, Eddie ? So you, me and Chris, we're ohana. Maddie and Chim too. And I guess that means I can count your abuela and Pepa as family, too. Maybe even Adriana and Sophia."
"Sure, they'd be happy to take you in, you know that."
It didn't take much more to make Buck happy. And the truth was, there was nothing Eddie wanted more than to make him family in front of the whole world. If only…
As usual, Eddie got lost in his sweetest dream that had them all together, Buck forever by his side, and Danny totally blindsided him with his next question.
"Mind if I ask a very personal question ?"
"Shoot !" Buck offered before Eddie had time to say no.
"I'm pretty sure you two are more than friends, and I was wondering why you don't want to tell your son."
Eddie felt the panic rising inside him.
"Man, I don't know why you'd say that…"
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, or judging you or anything of the sort. I'm just curious, and my job made me even more so. I guess I've been wondering why two people who've found happiness together would still hide it nowadays. To be honest, Steve and I had the same feeling about you and we talked about…"
"You and Steve got awfully chummy," Eddie cut him off in a nasty voice that immediately got Buck to whisper his name in warning.
Buck knew too well about Eddie's bad coping methods when he felt threatened or cornered. Knew it was not just about being fed up with questions and nosiness after learning to deal with the press. But Eddie went on anyway, ignoring Buck's attempt at calming him down.
"Maybe you should ask yourself about your relationship with Steve and stop meddling in our affairs."
Danny was taken aback by his outburst and he didn't try to hide it.
"As I said, I'm sorry…"
"Nah, man, it's okay," Buck took over. "It's my fault. Eddie's just been harassed quite a bit by journalists, he doesn't deal well with personal questions."
"I can understand that. And you have to know that even though I'm on vacation and there's nothing about the job between us, I'm still a cop and anything you tell me I consider private and won't tell anyone else."
"Thanks, Danny," Eddie said, controlling his temper. "And for the record, I'm sorry too. I didn't have to react that way. I just don't want to upset Christopher. He's been through too much already."
How did Eddie end up surrounded by touchy-feely people ? Buck was constantly touching him without even noticing it - and to be honest, Eddie did just the same to him - and now Danny was putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"You're a good dad, Eddie, that's what matters in the end, right ? We'd do anything for our kids."
Eddie nodded, watching Chris having a great time with kids of his age. He wished with all his heart that Chris would change his mind about his father's dating life, but he would take the heartbreak if it meant making Chris happy.
Conversation resumed on topics less fraught with danger and Eddie found he had fun, as if talking about the things he kept hidden had cleared the air for him. Sure, Buck didn't look at him much, engaging mostly with Danny for the rest of the dinner, but Eddie had to be understanding. He wasn't the one who went back alone to his cabin at night.
Danny told them about those pranks the captain and him had been playing on each other, and even though Eddie's earlier remark about their relationship was just tit for tat, it was fast becoming evident to him that there was indeed something going on between those two. Something that Danny might be refusing to contemplate ; to avoid heartbreak of his own once the cruise was over or the complications of a long-distance relationship, Eddie couldn't say for sure.
"After that," Danny laughed, "I decided he deserved to be messed with a bit more. So I've been hiding for a few hours. He sent me a message to ask where I was, and I answered that I'd soon be at the pool, we could meet there. And I went straight somewhere else, with a good reason every time he sent a new message to ask where the hell I was. And so on and so forth for four hours. He was downright crazy when we finally met."
"Tell me he retaliated, right ?" Buck suggested with glee.
"Oh he certainly did, and no less than an hour ago. I was having a drink with that guy, Karl, that I met playing pool the other day, and here comes this weird-looking guy who introduces himself as Dr. Bergman and tells me he heard about my little sexual problem and that if I need any help or prophylaxis advice, he'll welcome me at any time at the medical bay."
"He didn't ?!" Buck cried, but it was more joyful than really upset for Danny's pride at stake.
"He did ! Way to kill a romantic moment, let me tell you ! He was so proud of himself when I passed him by upon arriving in the dining room."
"Let's hope Karl won't go around the ship telling everyone about your "little problem," Buck guffawed.
Danny's horrified expression showed he hadn't yet contemplated this possibility.
"If you ask me," Eddie finally offered his two cents, "that feels a lot to me like the captain's doing his best to keep you for himself."
Danny looked startled, but certainly not displeased.
"Nah," he finally denied, "they have rules against relationships between the crew and the passengers. He's just trying to mess with me."
Eddie didn't push. It seemed obvious to him that Danny wouldn't mind more of the captain's attention, but it was not his style to be meddling into other people's affairs.
On her way out of the dining room, a woman slowed down as she got next to their table, a weird expression on her face.
"Danny," she greeted their guest, a coldness to her tone, and then immediately walked away.
"Gabby," Danny replied in the same tone to her retreating back.
"Who was that ?" Eddie asked after a few seconds.
"Someone who doesn't share our fearless captain's sense of humor."
Danny scrubbed his face with one hand, as if to wipe away some memory, and turned back towards Eddie.
"You know when they say 'talk about the devil'… Gabby was collateral damage of our prank war. I've written her off as a loss. I tried again this morning but if she doesn't want to hear my explanation, then I don't care about losing more time making her listen. I've done enough of that with my ex-wife."
Eddie knew a thing or two about disintegrating marriages so he decided not to pry. Years after, this was a wound he still didn't care to touch too closely.
And to be honest, he was more worried about the weird expression on Buck's face. He tried to get his attention back with a light kick in the shin.
"Buck ? What is it ? Do you know her ?"
"No… she just reminded me of someone. Dr. Wells, a shrink I had to see a few years back."
There was more to it than Buck was letting on, Eddie was sure of it.
"And… ?"
"And nothing, it's not her and it's not a particularly pleasant memory, so let's move on."
Eddie let it go for the time being, but he sure would ask again later, as soon as they were alone. Buck was a private person, but Eddie had remarked on more than one occasion that by showing Buck he cared for him enough to ask questions, Eddie was sure to get answers, and a very amorous Buck once all was said and done.
He would have to make time tomorrow to get him alone.
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Chapter 8 - Day 7
Chapter's notes : for those who don't know/remember, Madison Gray appears in season 7 of Five-0 - no spoiler - and she's portrayed by Elisabeth Röhm.
The end of the morning brought an unexpected visitor to Steve's office.
"Kamekona ? What can I do for you ?"
"Nothing, boss. I'm here to hand you my resignation."
Steve frowned as Kamekona placed an envelope on his desk.
"What ? Why ? Is there a problem in the galley ?"
"The galley is fine. I just don't appreciate being questioned by some pint-sized haole who thinks he's got a right to know my whereabouts and then admits he's looking for a thief at your order. If you tell everyone about my police record, I prefer to stop working here."
"Kamekona, I have no idea what you're talking about. I never told anyone about your record or your time in jail. I'm guessing Danny came to see you ? But I had no idea he would."
"Then how did he know about me ?"
"I don't know, but he's a cop. Cops have many ways to find what they're looking for."
Steve grabbed the envelop and gave it back to Kamekona.
"I won't accept this. Go back to work, they're going to need you soon, and I promise I'll talk to Danny and tell him you're off limits. He won't bother you again."
As soon as Kamekona was gone, hopefully back to bicker with his cousin Flippa in the galley as usual, Steve sent one of the new recruits to fetch Danny. The long wait didn't make his mood any better as Kamekona's words kept looping in his mind.
When finally Danny showed up, Steve had worked himself to a righteous bout of anger that he had to swallow down at Danny's triumphant opening line.
"I know the deal about Hirsch !"
"You do ? What did you find ?"
"Gerard Hirsch used to have an illustrious career on the mainland as a con artist until the day he robbed a woman named Madison Gray who, strangely enough, didn't press charges when Hirsch was arrested. Furthermore, she said she had forgotten her invitation for her old friend Hirsch to stay in her villa and avail himself to anything he might take a fancy to. Which, if you ask me, reeks of blackmail. So we can safely assume that during this burglary, Hirsch got his hands on something priceless, the kind of gift that keeps on giving since Dr. Gray, who has a seat on the board of directors of the company owning the Pearl of Hawaii, is also the one who procured Hirsch the job on your ship. The perfect cushy job that even you, who described yourself as God on board, can't take away."
Steve was stupefied. Hirsch had always looked lazy and incompetent, far too lazy and incompetent to go to the trouble of planning a burglary and stealing. Too scared of his own shadow to attempt bribery.
"I kind of wonder if I should ask about what blackmail material Hirsch's got on Gray."
"As far as I know, the police never found out, but it has to be something pretty bad. Bottom line is, you can't use it to get rid of Hirsch, unless you might someday steal from the thief and remove the leverage Hirsch has on Gray. But my friend at the BPD, she did a quick check over the rest of your crew and found something she deemed interesting enough to forward me the information. I wanted to run it by you this morning but your phone kept going to voicemail so I went to the kitchen and talked wi…"
Instantly, the news concerning Hirsch took a second place as Steve's anger reawakened. Steve stood up, looking down on Danny from all the height he had on the man.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. What gave you the right to interview Kamekona without my permission ?"
Danny gaped at him, taken aback.
"I told you, I tried to reach you but you didn't pick up your phone. I thought I'd gain us time and go talk to him immediately."
"That's not how it works. Kamekona is a friend, and I had to refuse his resignation because your questions put him in a difficult position."
"What difficult position ? I interviewed him out of anyone else's earshot and I just asked him what he was doing at the time the thefts happened. It was basic interrogation and I'm sorry if your friend's pride took a hit, but it needed to be done."
"Not if I don't say it needs to."
"Excuse me, but who's the cop here ?"
"I may not be a cop, but I'm the captain of this ship. I gave you a lot of leeway because you were helping, but you're in no position of calling the shots. Kamekona is off limits, is that clear ? As is any other crew member on my ship."
Steve saw on Danny's face that it was the wrong thing to say.
"Either you investigate fully or you don't do it at all," Danny replied disdainfully. "Do you know how many inquiries tank because the cops are absolutely certain they've caught the guy who did it so they don't investigate further ? So yes, I had to talk to Kamekona to eliminate him as the culprit. That's how you do good police work, and I won't apologize for it."
The admission that Kamekona was not considered a suspect anymore helped a lot to appease Steve's anger.
"You're right, and I'm sorry, okay ? But Kamekona is a friend and he's a great cook so please, let it go. I should have told you, my bad, but let it go. He's not guilty of anything."
Danny's eyes flashed with renewed anger at Steve's own admission that he knew about Kamekona's past.
"Yes, you should have told me. Keeping information like that is the best way to look suspect, or in this case to make someone else look suspect. Now I understand I'm just a passenger and I have no jurisdiction here, so I'll let you lead the investigation so that you can act like God all you want. And you know what ? I'm on vacation, a vacation I had to pay for even though I didn't even want to come, so I don't have to work for free for some ungrateful schmuck. Obviously you know better and you can deal with your problem alone. Have a good day."
It was more than a few seconds before Steve understood what had just happened and realized Danny had left for good.
He thought about following him, but it was probably more reasonable to let him cool down first. Danny was a hothead at the best of times and it was true that he had been working for Steve without demanding anything back, and while he had used the thefts as a diversion, he still deserved Steve's gratitude. Steve who might have taken his help a little bit for granted, becoming fast friends with Danny and hijacking his talent for his own purpose.
Steve had used the thefts as a diversion too, the perfect opportunity to hog Danny's time. This cruise so far had been so much better than any other before, just because of Danny's presence. Steve had constantly tried to include him into his days, to find ways to make him fit into his work, and Danny had let him do it, taking pleasure in the moments they had spent together, never complaining until Steve had flipped on him and kind of made him feel bad for the work he had done.
Steve didn't even understand why he had reacted so badly. Sure, Kamekona was a good guy and a good friend, he deserved to be treated fairly despite his few youthful mistakes and Steve had always taken care of him. But Danny hadn't really done anything wrong either. He had tried to get a hold of Steve and check with him first and the fact that he had ruffled Kamekona's feathers didn't mean he had been out of line.
Steve grabbed his phone and checked his messages. There were four missed calls, two with attached messages.
"Hey, Steve, I've got good news for you. Can we meet sometime soon ? Also, I've got another lead that I'd like to check with you. Call me back !"
The second message was almost two hours later.
"Okay, I don't know where you've disappeared to, hopefully you haven't fallen off this boat of yours. You weren't responding and I didn't want the trail to go cold so I went to talk to that guy I told you about in my first message. Frankly, I don't think he has anything to do with the thefts. I'll tell you more when I see you. If you haven't been eaten by a shark… Or succumbed to a mutiny led by Hirsch because we made him work for two hours… Or maybe you skipped out with the pool boy to go retire in Cleveland… Steven, you'd better pick up your phone or I'm gonna keep finding reasons that could explain why you're incommunicado and I'll share them with Tani, and you know she'll tell everyone after that. Or maybe I'll tell Pua. Yeah, good idea, I'll be with Pua, checking the vids and telling him why I can't reach you. Last warning, Steven. Okay, your call."
Steve didn't know if he should laugh or cry and it wasn't the first time Danny had that effect on him. Danny was so lively, he made Steve's life so much more worth living simply by existing, the energy crackling from him transferring to Steve and back, a flow so easy and pure, that Steve had only observed in nature before, never experienced himself, and no wonder he felt bereft in this moment after he had just chased Danny away.
Now Danny was done with him and Steve found himself short of breath when he imagined not seeing him ever again. And that meant.. that meant he had… feelings for Danny. He not only wanted him physically, but could very well imagine spending the rest of his life next to that incredible man and count himself lucky.
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Eddie felt abandoned. He'd had to give a show by the end of the afternoon, and neither Buck nor Chris had been present, both finding more interesting activities to enjoy.
To be honest, they had been gone long before the show had even begun. Chris was at the kids' center with Grace and Charlie as usual, and Buck was ashore, trying out a high ropes course, something he had declared having wanted to experience forever. Eddie would have liked to do it with him but he had too many things to do before the show and he didn't want to make Buck feel like he had to give up on every pleasure offered by the cruise and their time in the Hawaiian islands simply because Eddie had to.
But Buck hadn't showed up either after the show, leaving Eddie to have dinner with Chris after a short phone call to tell Eddie he still needed a few moments alone.
And now Eddie had left Chris at the kids' center again for a sleepover and all he wanted was to find Buck and make things right, whatever the problem was.
He finally spotted him at the Hawaiian-themed bar, nursing a beer at the counter while talking with the bartender. Buck startled when Eddie put his hand on his broad back and took the free seat right next to him, but he smiled, pleased, when he recognized his boyfriend.
Eddie signaled the bartender to get a beer too, slowly letting go of Buck since there was no way he could keep his hands on him in such a public place without a picture landing in a tabloid the very next day.
"I missed you," he said, and Buck's smile grew that little bit more.
"They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder," Buck retorted.
Eddie snorted.
"Have a good time playing Tarzan ?"
"It was amazing. Not quite like flying, but close enough. It was very… freeing, I guess."
Buck had always loved physical challenges and his sheer physique proved how well he took care of his body. Even on the Pearl of Hawaii, he had religiously visited the gym every day, making sure the rich food they were served didn't ruin his year-long efforts. But it was certainly the first time he described some sport as being freeing. Which begged the question : what did Buck feel the need to get free of ?
"Maybe we could find something like that back home and do it together ?" he proposed to test the water.
"I'd like that," Buck immediately approved with another smile.
Buck kept on describing his afternoon, and then he asked Eddie about his show. It had gone well enough and Eddie was proud of himself and the ship's dancers who had accompanied him. They had ended the show to thunderous applause and many people had come to tell him how enchanted they had been for the whole duration of his performance. And Buck's smile grew dim.
"Buck, what is it ?" Eddie pressed him. "I can't make things right if you don't talk to me."
"I know it's so selfish," Buck hesitated, "but I resent them."
"Resent who ?"
"Your fans. They take so much of your time, but I guess that's not really the problem. With them, you don't mind taking a photo very close, or with their arm on your shoulders. But when I do it…"
When Buck did it, Eddie tensed and walked far enough to make sure he wouldn't do it again. Because he loved it too much and feared one day he wouldn't be able to move away.
"I love you so much, Eddie," Buck continued, "and I want you to be happy, but I deserve to be happy too."
"I love you too, you know that…"
Eddie was cut off by one of those fans Buck resented, calling his name from the other side of the bar as a small group entered the place and walked to the counter.
"I can't believe I get to see you twice in a day," the same guy continued as he came to stand next to Eddie, completely ignoring Buck, "and so close and personal ! You're even more gorgeous like that, without make-up or special outfits."
The guy's friends nodded and loudly approved, mentioning most of all some of the rather skimpy outfits Eddie had worn to dance.
"Thanks, that's very kind of you to say."
"Nothing but the truth, honest ! I'm Derek, by the way."
Derek offered his hand and Eddie shook it, hoping the guy would get a clue and leave after that but he was soon proved wrong.
"Hey, man, let me buy you a beer or something to thank you for an amazing show."
In the way he turned back to the counter and finished his beer, Eddie felt Buck's resignation even before he offered to go do something else while Eddie mingled with his adoring fans.
"No, thank you," Eddie answered a bit more fiercely than necessary. "Sorry but I'm with my friend right now and we planned to spend a lazy night talking. I'm sure you understand. We'll find another opportunity, okay ?"
He didn't wait before he pushed Buck to stand up, gripping his impressive bicep, and walk in the direction of the big, comfortable chairs he had spotted in a darker corner that would allow them to be mostly left alone.
They sat and ordered two more beers that were promptly delivered by a cheerful young woman who had eyes only for Eddie, which only made Buck's scowl bigger. Eddie put his beer down on the low table and turned towards Buck. Even there, he didn't dare take his hand, still too many people who could see them.
"Buck, I know it's hard for you. And I can't offer any kind of timeline, just ask for your patience."
He thought for a minute that Buck would ignore him, but though he wouldn't look at him, Buck finally answered.
"I am patient, Eds, you know it. And you're worth it. You're both worth it. I'm just not sure…"
"Sure about what ? Tell me."
"Sure that you really want to change anything now."
There was a long silence, one hard to bear, full of hurt and betrayal on both parts.
"I thought you trusted me," Eddie said, voice barely audible in his dismay.
Buck finally angled his body towards Eddie's as the truth of his doubts spilled from his mouth.
"I did. I do ! But then I see you so open and tactile when you dance, laughing and touching so easily all those women and men, even in front of Chris. But when I put my arm around your shoulders or your waist, I feel you tense so hard until I take a step away. It's getting worse and I don't know how to feel, just that you don't want me to touch you at all in public. And unless you're getting jealous, you won't touch me either, or you just stop immediately when you realize you're doing it. It's hard not to feel like your dirty little secret."
Anger and love were fighting for Eddie's attention. He was trying to do the best for everyone, and failing miserably, it was now obvious. Talking about his feelings was not something that came easily to him at the best of times and Buck had always been so understanding with him, he deserved more than what Eddie gave him. But lashing out was so much easier that Eddie had to keep his mouth shut to make sure nothing he'd regret would come out.
Everybody knew he was bisexual, thanks to the partners he had danced with during his career - he was pretty sure his tremendous success was mostly due to the oh so sensual tango he had chosen to dance with a very male partner for the finale of Strut Your Stuff. Anyway, his sexuality had never been a problem, and even less of a worry. Eddie was who he was, and those who didn't like it could walk away. The only people whose opinions mattered were his family. Chris and Buck first and foremost, because for all Buck's doubts, Eddie considered him family. He was the one he had chosen years ago, not that long after Shannon and him had fallen apart. The one who had stood by him but demanded nothing for himself when Shannon had tried to come back into his life, and Eddie had taken the time to think about it because of Chris. The one who had been there for Eddie and his son when Shannon had died shortly after in a car accident. The one who had agreed to stay in the shadows when Chris had flat out refused the possibility for his father to date someone else, not even giving him time to tell him that nothing had to change if Buck came to live with them permanently.
And yes, maybe it was time to try again. Maybe this trip was the perfect way to show Chris how it could be for the three of them, together all the time, a real family at last. Eddie was so certain that, given the chance, Buck would win over Christopher's decision to keep his father all to himself, the same way he had won the kid's heart a long time ago.
"I'll try again," he finally said. "We can use the cruise to show Chris that anywhere we go, no matter who's there with us, it's just the three of us, like always, and that we're so good together. And then I promise, Buck, I'll talk to Chris again. Or we'll talk to him together. Can you trust me that little bit longer ?"
That got Buck to turn around and face him.
"I can trust you forever, Eddie. I just need to know your heart's still in it."
"One hundred percent, Buck. More than that, even. Do you think it's easy for me to see how men and women alike look at you and I can't tell them you're mine, not really ?"
"Yeah ?" Buck asked, a small, hopeful smile on his handsome face.
"Yeah, just as much as you'd want to show them all that I'm yours. Evan Buckley, you and me would already be married if it wasn't for Christopher's fears."
"You used my full name. I know you're dreadfully serious when you do that," Buck chuckled.
"You better believe it, Evan."
"Maybe we could… show each other, somewhere more private."
Eddie grinned, more relieved than words could express.
"I'd love that."
They finished their beers in a few, long gulps, neither of them losing eye contact for fear something or someone would interrupt if they so much as glanced aside. Then they left the bar, walking probably closer and faster than two simple buddies going in search of something to do on a night out, but Eddie couldn't find in himself the will to care in that very moment. He needed to be alone with Buck, to reassure them both that they were okay just as much as to answer his body's acute need for Buck's touch.
Eddie took Buck through the decks, mostly deserted at this hour, night shrouding them to allow for a swift walk and no fans to deal with.
He very manly shrieked in fright when he felt himself grabbed and pulled into a narrow corner just big enough to hide the both of them. Buck's huge body sheltered Eddie's from the rest of the world, and Eddie eagerly responded to the mouth encouraging his to open up for the most filthy kiss Eddie could imagine.
He loved it when Buck let loose, and the semi-public state of their position made it just that bit more dangerous. He felt himself harden in such a short time he got dizzy with it, enough that he helped when Buck began to push his shirt up and his shorts down.
Eddie had never been naked outside of some room, and certainly not on a cruise ship full of randy vacationers. If possible, he got harder than ever, moaning for Buck to touch him there again, more, to pinch his other nipple, to push inside him deeper, always deeper.
Buck was the one who first got back to his senses, faced with the practical side of their lovemaking.
"Eddie," he whispered, biting Eddie's lower lip, "I need to get you on a bed. I need to fuck you."
Eddie's world exploded behind his eyelids at those words, not wanting any delay before he could feel Buck deeply impaled in him. He was so turned on, he almost begged Buck to do it here, or to carry him all the way to one of their bedrooms while he kept stroking him. Common sense won by a very shallow margin, and only thanks to Buck who grabbed his shorts back to dress him again.
They practically ran to their deck, fueled by desire and love. They didn't see anyone, or totally missed any attempt at stopping them.
Buck's room was the closest, making for an easy choice, and soon Eddie found himself backed up against the inside of the door, Buck losing no time disrobing him again. Eddie helped as much as he could, raising his arms to get rid of his shirt, and then fumbling to push Buck's away while Buck was busy pushing Eddie's shorts down. Before he could get what was happening, Buck lifted him, both hands under Eddie's ass, high enough to make Eddie the taller one for once. Eddie helped him by closing his legs around his waist, and Buck thanked him by pushing his fingers back in his ass.
Their kiss got hungrier, dirtier, bordering on frantic.
"Buck, now !"
Buck didn't try to tease him, proof that he too was at the end of his rope. He moved away from the door, making sure Eddie was safe in his hold before carrying him to the bed. Eddie could already feel his cock nudging at his hole through the fabric of his shorts and he couldn't wait anymore for the real thing.
"Now !" he ordered once again.
In an impressive economy of moves, Buck laid Eddie on his back to get rid of his own shorts and underwear and in the next few seconds, coated with lube, he was pushing inside Eddie's ass like a general would push his troops to invade the enemy's country, the only difference being that Eddie was doing his best to allow the invasion.
The kiss this time was downright frantic, completely ravenous. Buck's focus was clearly narrowed to his cock as it slid inside and out of Eddie with equal intent and force, submitting Eddie's will to his own need, pushing his legs open that much more to be able to get that fraction deeper. And Eddie relished the sensation, would open more if only he could, would take Buck inside him forever. Keep his heart close to bask in this wondrous feeling of being loved at all times.
"Evan, baby, don't hold back."
The words worked their magic on Buck who started pounding Eddie's prostate like there was no tomorrow. They moved around the bed to the rhythm imposed by Buck's hips, wild, always quicker, and Eddie's cries of pleasure aligned to the same beat.
He never wanted to stop, and he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to come so badly, to fall into this abyss of pleasure but to keep his body alight with the raging need Buck was unleashing on him.
"Evan," Eddie couldn't help the aborted cry as he came hard in Buck's hand.
Proving the name wasn't so unused. It had become the proof of their intimacy, the name Eddie loved to whisper in the dark, the mark that they were together, so close, so in love.
It wasn't that the name was unused, really. It was just that Eddie kept it for himself, a special treasure the two of them shared and guarded fiercely with their love. They had never spoken about it, never put words to this feeling, but Eddie was sure that Buck knew what it meant when he used his birth name.
He had missed sleeping in Buck's arms so much. He laid his head on Buck's chest and listened to the beat of his heart, so soothing it felt like nothing could ever touch them as long as they had each other. No doubt problems and complications would knock at their door in the morning again, but right now, Eddie wanted to think of nothing more than the man he loved and that thing they shared.
They made love again when Buck woke up and brought Eddie back to awareness with caresses so good that he raised himself before he was even really awake, moving to straddle Buck's body and sink onto his cock. He had missed that too, this look of love and admiration Buck cocooned him in, hands on his hips to help every time Eddie moved up and then back down, taking Buck all the way in, as far as possible. Groaning deep with each hit on his prostate, begging for more.
Buck was no contest the best lover Eddie had ever had, and the most attentive. They had been together long enough that they knew how to push each other over the edge in a few seconds, or on the contrary how to keep each other on that edge, crazy with want, building up the need to come until it felt unbearable but they kept at it. Buck was doing exactly that, playing with Eddie, getting sounds out of him that had to be too loud to be missed by the passengers sleeping in the nearby rooms, but Eddie didn't care, only intent on catching his orgasm, touching Buck and being touched by him.
There was nothing he loved more than sharing a shower with Buck after love. Buck enjoyed washing him from head to toe, with a reverence that made Eddie stop minding for a moment that he was an adult and perfectly able to wash himself. He wasn't stupid enough to willingly miss the opportunity for more caresses and kisses.
It took him forever to dress again and leave, Buck getting his clothes off as soon as Eddie put them on. They would certainly have gone for round three if Eddie didn't have to get Chris back from his sleepover in less than fifteen minutes.
He was already well on his way before he realized he had once again forgotten to ask Buck about the woman and the events Gabby had reminded him of. He debated with himself about going back but there was no time, really, and Buck had said he would go back to sleep for a little while when Eddie had left.
He would ask later, as soon as they were alone.
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To chapter 9
Chapter's notes : for those who don't know/remember, Autumn Reeser, who plays the lovely Gabrielle Asano in H50, also had a small part in 9-1-1 (season 1). Maddie is Buck's sister and Chim her boyfriend. Abuela means grandmother (Eddie's in this case), Pepa (Josephina) is Eddie's aunt and Adriana and Sophia are his sisters.
"Daddy, can I stay with Grace and Charlie for dinner ?"
Eddie sighed. He wasn't upset with Chris for wanting to spend more time with his friends, he just didn't want him to feel sad if the kids' parents had seen enough of him for one day.
Eddie and Buck had gone on a hike all afternoon, enjoying time together far from the public eye, while Chris had enrolled in a game at the kids' center led by two crewwomen called Lori and Jenna. Both had made a good impression on him but still Eddie had hesitated to leave Chris alone. Until once again Danny Williams had assuaged his worries by assuring him his ex-wife and her new shiny husband would be there to watch over his own kids from afar and it'd be easy for them to extend their surveillance to Eddie's kid.
Eddie thought he had made the right decision. It was obvious Chris had had a blast playing for hours with his friends, and he didn't feel like ending it yet.
"Chris, you know you need Grace and Charlie's parents to ask you first ?"
"It's alright, Mr. Diaz," a woman intervened. "I'm Rachel Edwards, Grace and Charlie's mother. You don't know me or my husband Stan but we'll be eating in the same room at the same time as you, so Christopher can rejoin you as soon as dinner's over and you can feel safe and check on him anytime."
The man next to her waved awkwardly - Stan, obviously - as if he hadn't been consulted any more than Eddie beforehand. Danny had alluded to him on the night they had dinner together at the captain's table, saying it was hard to hate the guy even though he had stolen his wife. Coming from someone like Danny, it felt like a ringing endorsement.
As if Eddie had summoned him, the man magically appeared next to their little group.
"And here I thought I was going to eat with my two favorite people in the world, but I see you've found a better companion."
Danny brushed Chris' hair out of his face, and Eddie watched as his kid sent the man his trademark smile that had everyone loving him.
"Hey man," Buck got Danny's attention with a hand on his shoulder, "what about dinner with us since we're all left behind ?"
Chris laughed at Buck's playful overreaction, and Buck of course bent down to kiss his head.
"He's right," Eddie approved. "It will be a lot less formal than the captain's table. Come on, say yes."
It didn't take long for Danny to agree with the invitation and each party joined their own table. As Rachel had said, they could watch each other and Eddie felt immediately better for this reassurance. He was pretty sure the two other men shared this feeling all the way.
The conversation was a bit stilted in the first few minutes, but Buck and Danny were more than able to make up for Eddie's shortcoming in that particular area, Danny making gentle fun of him and the obvious differences between the two friends.
"How did you two meet ?" Danny asked him at some point.
"In college, actually. A woman was assaulted and we both ran to help her."
"What Eddie doesn't say," Buck cut him off, "is that he managed to catch the guy and his testimony sent him to jail."
"Our testimony," Eddie amended, "as well as the woman's - Karen, she's now a tenured professor and still one of our best friends with her wife Hen, and their son is good friends with Chris. But we didn't know her back then. It's just that I had a part-time job working security, it felt natural for me to go after him."
Eddie turned to Buck.
"And you took care of Karen, which was just as important, she was so freaked out. You were her knight in shining armor in that moment."
"Good job, guys," Danny approved. "As a cop, I can only congratulate you for your actions. I wish more people would come to strangers' help. Maybe the bad guys would think twice about harming others if they knew they couldn't get away with it so easily."
"I was in the army for a while, so as I said, it felt only natural to me. Buck, on the other hand, always listens to his big heart," Eddie added, patting his lover's hand and chuckling at his blushing face. "Anyway, that was the first time we crossed paths. We exchanged phone numbers, and then we realized we had one class together, and we became fast friends. Or to be really accurate, I probably should say that Chris and I, we adopted him."
Eddie didn't add how Buck had stuck with him through thick and thin, Eddie's divorce a few weeks prior to Shannon's death, Eddie's nightmares and Chris' grief. The kid was so young and probably didn't realize what was happening, but he missed his mother all the same. Buck had been there for it all, asking only to be loved in return.
It had taken a while for Eddie to catch up with the kind of love they did share. But then becoming lovers had been so easy, it felt like coming home and Eddie had never looked back. Never been tempted to look for someone else.
"So if you were friends," Danny asked Buck, bringing Eddie back to the here and now, "how did you become his PA ?"
"I was kind of going through the motions at college, to be honest," Buck chuckled. "I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, I switched majors because I was interested in so many things but couldn't decide what to study first. My part-time job was tending bar but I didn't imagine doing that all my life, unlike Eddie…"
"Yes and no. I was like you in that I didn't know what to do with myself, and I did consider for a while leaving it all behind in order to become a full-fledged security agent. Living in LA, it's easy imagining yourself as the personal bodyguard of some big-headed celebrity who wants to show off their importance to the rest of the world by having a guy two steps behind watching out for them."
"Not when they keep getting jealous that their bodyguard's pretty face attracts more attention than their own, or when they try to get in his pants on a daily basis."
Eddie shuddered at the reminder of some of the situations Buck alluded to. Twice he had woken up to find the person he was supposed to protect getting into his bed, as if he was part of the deal. That had to be the worst memories of that time, and he never regretted quitting the job altogether to give dance his whole time and effort.
"Buck's right, it could get pretty awful at times. But it helped in deciding to follow his advice and make the decision to try for an artistic career."
"Not an easy decision, I guess. The nightmare of quite a few parents."
Eddie's eyes narrowed, the cop was far too perceptive.
"Yeah, mine weren't thrilled, but I had long left home so they didn't have a say in this choice. Buck was ready to support us so I gave it a few months to try and see if there was a chance for me to make it work."
"And it did, obviously."
Eddie grinned at Buck and let him take his hand without thinking.
"It did, all thanks to Buck."
"How's that ? I would think your talent has something to do with your success, right ?" Danny joked.
"It has everything to do with it," Buck stated, almost offended on Eddie's behalf. "He's too modest to admit it, but he's the best out there."
Eddie squeezed the hand still in his, looking at Buck with all the gratitude he felt in his heart, until he remembered they were in public and let it go. He knew he was hurting Buck but it couldn't be helped, and he tried to make up for it with his words.
"Thanks, man, but all the talent in the world wouldn't have mattered if it weren't for you giving me the chance to make a difference."
Eddie turned back towards Danny Williams.
"He’s good with people, you know ? He’s got this huge talent for talking with them and getting them to see his point of view, to embrace it. That’s how he got me my agent, the famous Bobby Nash. He had the nerve to go for it…"
Blushing and smiling big, both at the same time, Buck tried to make the whole story look more fun than hard work.
"You mean I made a nuisance of myself until the guy agreed to properly meet me and see your vids for a chance to get rid of me at last."
"But it worked ! Without Bobby, I wouldn't have been on that show, and we wouldn't be here today. And if you weren't so good at what you do, Bobby wouldn't have tried so many times to get you to work for him instead of losing your time with me."
Unconsciously, he looked for Buck's hand and it was only because he almost brought it to his lips that Eddie realized he was once again holding it and had to make a conscious effort to let it go.
"So," Danny summed up, eyes on their parting hands, "I guess I can say you two formed a strong, mutual appreciation society ?"
"I guess so," Buck approved. "Eddie finding his way helped me find mine. I spent my last year in college studying artistic management and applying everything I learned on the spot. I got this fantastic advantage, having a real test subject at hand, you know. And I was lucky that he was so good I didn't have much to do to get him jobs in various venues while I was working on Bobby Nash. I knew if I could get him to take Eddie under his wing, we would be set for life. And I was right… well, I'll get back to you on the whole life thing, but Eddie's got them all under his spell, so I'm feeling pretty good about it."
"Don't jinx it !" Eddie rolled his eyes, fingering his St. Christopher medallion to make himself feel better.
"What kind of medal is that ?" Danny asked.
"Saint Christopher. Shannon - Chris' mother - offered it to me when I left for my tour in Afghanistan. It was both for protection and a reminder that I had a son to come back to."
"Can I ask what happened to her ?"
It was Buck's turn to put a hand on Eddie's shoulder in support, but Eddie fidgeted enough, uncomfortable with the show of affection when Christopher could see them, that he quickly took it off.
"You're divorced, so I guess you know how it is. How difficult it can be to live with someone, even if you love them with all your heart. And my going far away to fight a war didn't help, on the contrary. Shannon and me, we kept arguing all the time, most of all about Christopher and my ability to raise him, and coming back home didn't help, so we decided we were better off going our separate ways. She died a few weeks after the divorce in a hit-and-run."
"How old was Christopher ?"
Eddie was grateful for the lack of platitudes and the real concern for his kid he could feel in Danny.
"Four. Old enough to feel the loss of his mother. Maybe not enough to really understand where and why she was gone."
"You two knew each other already ?"
"Yeah," Buck answered first. "It was heartbreaking to see Eddie and Chris struggling with it."
"But you're the only reason we made it through," Eddie said, heartfelt. "I remember Chris would never let either of us out of his sight. You didn't go back home for a while because Chris cried every time you tried to leave."
"He did the same with you."
"He did, but I'm his father, it's a given."
"I can't imagine what you went through," Danny finally said, "but I guess that's one of the reasons, the main one perhaps, why you three give off such family vibes."
Buck's face literally lit up at those words.
"That's what I always tell Eddie. That we don't need blood to feel related."
"I guess that's what Steve told me they call ohana in these islands. An extended family."
"I like that," Buck said, "I'll remember it !"
"That's a pretty nice idea, right ? Not just the people you share blood with, but the friends you made, and the ones to come. Anyone you love can be part of this family, your ohana."
Buck turned to him with the joyous exaltation that was his trademark expression when he just learned something he deemed awesome.
"Do you hear that, Eddie ? So you, me and Chris, we're ohana. Maddie and Chim too. And I guess that means I can count your abuela and Pepa as family, too. Maybe even Adriana and Sophia."
"Sure, they'd be happy to take you in, you know that."
It didn't take much more to make Buck happy. And the truth was, there was nothing Eddie wanted more than to make him family in front of the whole world. If only…
As usual, Eddie got lost in his sweetest dream that had them all together, Buck forever by his side, and Danny totally blindsided him with his next question.
"Mind if I ask a very personal question ?"
"Shoot !" Buck offered before Eddie had time to say no.
"I'm pretty sure you two are more than friends, and I was wondering why you don't want to tell your son."
Eddie felt the panic rising inside him.
"Man, I don't know why you'd say that…"
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, or judging you or anything of the sort. I'm just curious, and my job made me even more so. I guess I've been wondering why two people who've found happiness together would still hide it nowadays. To be honest, Steve and I had the same feeling about you and we talked about…"
"You and Steve got awfully chummy," Eddie cut him off in a nasty voice that immediately got Buck to whisper his name in warning.
Buck knew too well about Eddie's bad coping methods when he felt threatened or cornered. Knew it was not just about being fed up with questions and nosiness after learning to deal with the press. But Eddie went on anyway, ignoring Buck's attempt at calming him down.
"Maybe you should ask yourself about your relationship with Steve and stop meddling in our affairs."
Danny was taken aback by his outburst and he didn't try to hide it.
"As I said, I'm sorry…"
"Nah, man, it's okay," Buck took over. "It's my fault. Eddie's just been harassed quite a bit by journalists, he doesn't deal well with personal questions."
"I can understand that. And you have to know that even though I'm on vacation and there's nothing about the job between us, I'm still a cop and anything you tell me I consider private and won't tell anyone else."
"Thanks, Danny," Eddie said, controlling his temper. "And for the record, I'm sorry too. I didn't have to react that way. I just don't want to upset Christopher. He's been through too much already."
How did Eddie end up surrounded by touchy-feely people ? Buck was constantly touching him without even noticing it - and to be honest, Eddie did just the same to him - and now Danny was putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"You're a good dad, Eddie, that's what matters in the end, right ? We'd do anything for our kids."
Eddie nodded, watching Chris having a great time with kids of his age. He wished with all his heart that Chris would change his mind about his father's dating life, but he would take the heartbreak if it meant making Chris happy.
Conversation resumed on topics less fraught with danger and Eddie found he had fun, as if talking about the things he kept hidden had cleared the air for him. Sure, Buck didn't look at him much, engaging mostly with Danny for the rest of the dinner, but Eddie had to be understanding. He wasn't the one who went back alone to his cabin at night.
Danny told them about those pranks the captain and him had been playing on each other, and even though Eddie's earlier remark about their relationship was just tit for tat, it was fast becoming evident to him that there was indeed something going on between those two. Something that Danny might be refusing to contemplate ; to avoid heartbreak of his own once the cruise was over or the complications of a long-distance relationship, Eddie couldn't say for sure.
"After that," Danny laughed, "I decided he deserved to be messed with a bit more. So I've been hiding for a few hours. He sent me a message to ask where I was, and I answered that I'd soon be at the pool, we could meet there. And I went straight somewhere else, with a good reason every time he sent a new message to ask where the hell I was. And so on and so forth for four hours. He was downright crazy when we finally met."
"Tell me he retaliated, right ?" Buck suggested with glee.
"Oh he certainly did, and no less than an hour ago. I was having a drink with that guy, Karl, that I met playing pool the other day, and here comes this weird-looking guy who introduces himself as Dr. Bergman and tells me he heard about my little sexual problem and that if I need any help or prophylaxis advice, he'll welcome me at any time at the medical bay."
"He didn't ?!" Buck cried, but it was more joyful than really upset for Danny's pride at stake.
"He did ! Way to kill a romantic moment, let me tell you ! He was so proud of himself when I passed him by upon arriving in the dining room."
"Let's hope Karl won't go around the ship telling everyone about your "little problem," Buck guffawed.
Danny's horrified expression showed he hadn't yet contemplated this possibility.
"If you ask me," Eddie finally offered his two cents, "that feels a lot to me like the captain's doing his best to keep you for himself."
Danny looked startled, but certainly not displeased.
"Nah," he finally denied, "they have rules against relationships between the crew and the passengers. He's just trying to mess with me."
Eddie didn't push. It seemed obvious to him that Danny wouldn't mind more of the captain's attention, but it was not his style to be meddling into other people's affairs.
On her way out of the dining room, a woman slowed down as she got next to their table, a weird expression on her face.
"Danny," she greeted their guest, a coldness to her tone, and then immediately walked away.
"Gabby," Danny replied in the same tone to her retreating back.
"Who was that ?" Eddie asked after a few seconds.
"Someone who doesn't share our fearless captain's sense of humor."
Danny scrubbed his face with one hand, as if to wipe away some memory, and turned back towards Eddie.
"You know when they say 'talk about the devil'… Gabby was collateral damage of our prank war. I've written her off as a loss. I tried again this morning but if she doesn't want to hear my explanation, then I don't care about losing more time making her listen. I've done enough of that with my ex-wife."
Eddie knew a thing or two about disintegrating marriages so he decided not to pry. Years after, this was a wound he still didn't care to touch too closely.
And to be honest, he was more worried about the weird expression on Buck's face. He tried to get his attention back with a light kick in the shin.
"Buck ? What is it ? Do you know her ?"
"No… she just reminded me of someone. Dr. Wells, a shrink I had to see a few years back."
There was more to it than Buck was letting on, Eddie was sure of it.
"And… ?"
"And nothing, it's not her and it's not a particularly pleasant memory, so let's move on."
Eddie let it go for the time being, but he sure would ask again later, as soon as they were alone. Buck was a private person, but Eddie had remarked on more than one occasion that by showing Buck he cared for him enough to ask questions, Eddie was sure to get answers, and a very amorous Buck once all was said and done.
He would have to make time tomorrow to get him alone.
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Chapter 8 - Day 7
Chapter's notes : for those who don't know/remember, Madison Gray appears in season 7 of Five-0 - no spoiler - and she's portrayed by Elisabeth Röhm.
The end of the morning brought an unexpected visitor to Steve's office.
"Kamekona ? What can I do for you ?"
"Nothing, boss. I'm here to hand you my resignation."
Steve frowned as Kamekona placed an envelope on his desk.
"What ? Why ? Is there a problem in the galley ?"
"The galley is fine. I just don't appreciate being questioned by some pint-sized haole who thinks he's got a right to know my whereabouts and then admits he's looking for a thief at your order. If you tell everyone about my police record, I prefer to stop working here."
"Kamekona, I have no idea what you're talking about. I never told anyone about your record or your time in jail. I'm guessing Danny came to see you ? But I had no idea he would."
"Then how did he know about me ?"
"I don't know, but he's a cop. Cops have many ways to find what they're looking for."
Steve grabbed the envelop and gave it back to Kamekona.
"I won't accept this. Go back to work, they're going to need you soon, and I promise I'll talk to Danny and tell him you're off limits. He won't bother you again."
As soon as Kamekona was gone, hopefully back to bicker with his cousin Flippa in the galley as usual, Steve sent one of the new recruits to fetch Danny. The long wait didn't make his mood any better as Kamekona's words kept looping in his mind.
When finally Danny showed up, Steve had worked himself to a righteous bout of anger that he had to swallow down at Danny's triumphant opening line.
"I know the deal about Hirsch !"
"You do ? What did you find ?"
"Gerard Hirsch used to have an illustrious career on the mainland as a con artist until the day he robbed a woman named Madison Gray who, strangely enough, didn't press charges when Hirsch was arrested. Furthermore, she said she had forgotten her invitation for her old friend Hirsch to stay in her villa and avail himself to anything he might take a fancy to. Which, if you ask me, reeks of blackmail. So we can safely assume that during this burglary, Hirsch got his hands on something priceless, the kind of gift that keeps on giving since Dr. Gray, who has a seat on the board of directors of the company owning the Pearl of Hawaii, is also the one who procured Hirsch the job on your ship. The perfect cushy job that even you, who described yourself as God on board, can't take away."
Steve was stupefied. Hirsch had always looked lazy and incompetent, far too lazy and incompetent to go to the trouble of planning a burglary and stealing. Too scared of his own shadow to attempt bribery.
"I kind of wonder if I should ask about what blackmail material Hirsch's got on Gray."
"As far as I know, the police never found out, but it has to be something pretty bad. Bottom line is, you can't use it to get rid of Hirsch, unless you might someday steal from the thief and remove the leverage Hirsch has on Gray. But my friend at the BPD, she did a quick check over the rest of your crew and found something she deemed interesting enough to forward me the information. I wanted to run it by you this morning but your phone kept going to voicemail so I went to the kitchen and talked wi…"
Instantly, the news concerning Hirsch took a second place as Steve's anger reawakened. Steve stood up, looking down on Danny from all the height he had on the man.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. What gave you the right to interview Kamekona without my permission ?"
Danny gaped at him, taken aback.
"I told you, I tried to reach you but you didn't pick up your phone. I thought I'd gain us time and go talk to him immediately."
"That's not how it works. Kamekona is a friend, and I had to refuse his resignation because your questions put him in a difficult position."
"What difficult position ? I interviewed him out of anyone else's earshot and I just asked him what he was doing at the time the thefts happened. It was basic interrogation and I'm sorry if your friend's pride took a hit, but it needed to be done."
"Not if I don't say it needs to."
"Excuse me, but who's the cop here ?"
"I may not be a cop, but I'm the captain of this ship. I gave you a lot of leeway because you were helping, but you're in no position of calling the shots. Kamekona is off limits, is that clear ? As is any other crew member on my ship."
Steve saw on Danny's face that it was the wrong thing to say.
"Either you investigate fully or you don't do it at all," Danny replied disdainfully. "Do you know how many inquiries tank because the cops are absolutely certain they've caught the guy who did it so they don't investigate further ? So yes, I had to talk to Kamekona to eliminate him as the culprit. That's how you do good police work, and I won't apologize for it."
The admission that Kamekona was not considered a suspect anymore helped a lot to appease Steve's anger.
"You're right, and I'm sorry, okay ? But Kamekona is a friend and he's a great cook so please, let it go. I should have told you, my bad, but let it go. He's not guilty of anything."
Danny's eyes flashed with renewed anger at Steve's own admission that he knew about Kamekona's past.
"Yes, you should have told me. Keeping information like that is the best way to look suspect, or in this case to make someone else look suspect. Now I understand I'm just a passenger and I have no jurisdiction here, so I'll let you lead the investigation so that you can act like God all you want. And you know what ? I'm on vacation, a vacation I had to pay for even though I didn't even want to come, so I don't have to work for free for some ungrateful schmuck. Obviously you know better and you can deal with your problem alone. Have a good day."
It was more than a few seconds before Steve understood what had just happened and realized Danny had left for good.
He thought about following him, but it was probably more reasonable to let him cool down first. Danny was a hothead at the best of times and it was true that he had been working for Steve without demanding anything back, and while he had used the thefts as a diversion, he still deserved Steve's gratitude. Steve who might have taken his help a little bit for granted, becoming fast friends with Danny and hijacking his talent for his own purpose.
Steve had used the thefts as a diversion too, the perfect opportunity to hog Danny's time. This cruise so far had been so much better than any other before, just because of Danny's presence. Steve had constantly tried to include him into his days, to find ways to make him fit into his work, and Danny had let him do it, taking pleasure in the moments they had spent together, never complaining until Steve had flipped on him and kind of made him feel bad for the work he had done.
Steve didn't even understand why he had reacted so badly. Sure, Kamekona was a good guy and a good friend, he deserved to be treated fairly despite his few youthful mistakes and Steve had always taken care of him. But Danny hadn't really done anything wrong either. He had tried to get a hold of Steve and check with him first and the fact that he had ruffled Kamekona's feathers didn't mean he had been out of line.
Steve grabbed his phone and checked his messages. There were four missed calls, two with attached messages.
"Hey, Steve, I've got good news for you. Can we meet sometime soon ? Also, I've got another lead that I'd like to check with you. Call me back !"
The second message was almost two hours later.
"Okay, I don't know where you've disappeared to, hopefully you haven't fallen off this boat of yours. You weren't responding and I didn't want the trail to go cold so I went to talk to that guy I told you about in my first message. Frankly, I don't think he has anything to do with the thefts. I'll tell you more when I see you. If you haven't been eaten by a shark… Or succumbed to a mutiny led by Hirsch because we made him work for two hours… Or maybe you skipped out with the pool boy to go retire in Cleveland… Steven, you'd better pick up your phone or I'm gonna keep finding reasons that could explain why you're incommunicado and I'll share them with Tani, and you know she'll tell everyone after that. Or maybe I'll tell Pua. Yeah, good idea, I'll be with Pua, checking the vids and telling him why I can't reach you. Last warning, Steven. Okay, your call."
Steve didn't know if he should laugh or cry and it wasn't the first time Danny had that effect on him. Danny was so lively, he made Steve's life so much more worth living simply by existing, the energy crackling from him transferring to Steve and back, a flow so easy and pure, that Steve had only observed in nature before, never experienced himself, and no wonder he felt bereft in this moment after he had just chased Danny away.
Now Danny was done with him and Steve found himself short of breath when he imagined not seeing him ever again. And that meant.. that meant he had… feelings for Danny. He not only wanted him physically, but could very well imagine spending the rest of his life next to that incredible man and count himself lucky.
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Eddie felt abandoned. He'd had to give a show by the end of the afternoon, and neither Buck nor Chris had been present, both finding more interesting activities to enjoy.
To be honest, they had been gone long before the show had even begun. Chris was at the kids' center with Grace and Charlie as usual, and Buck was ashore, trying out a high ropes course, something he had declared having wanted to experience forever. Eddie would have liked to do it with him but he had too many things to do before the show and he didn't want to make Buck feel like he had to give up on every pleasure offered by the cruise and their time in the Hawaiian islands simply because Eddie had to.
But Buck hadn't showed up either after the show, leaving Eddie to have dinner with Chris after a short phone call to tell Eddie he still needed a few moments alone.
And now Eddie had left Chris at the kids' center again for a sleepover and all he wanted was to find Buck and make things right, whatever the problem was.
He finally spotted him at the Hawaiian-themed bar, nursing a beer at the counter while talking with the bartender. Buck startled when Eddie put his hand on his broad back and took the free seat right next to him, but he smiled, pleased, when he recognized his boyfriend.
Eddie signaled the bartender to get a beer too, slowly letting go of Buck since there was no way he could keep his hands on him in such a public place without a picture landing in a tabloid the very next day.
"I missed you," he said, and Buck's smile grew that little bit more.
"They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder," Buck retorted.
Eddie snorted.
"Have a good time playing Tarzan ?"
"It was amazing. Not quite like flying, but close enough. It was very… freeing, I guess."
Buck had always loved physical challenges and his sheer physique proved how well he took care of his body. Even on the Pearl of Hawaii, he had religiously visited the gym every day, making sure the rich food they were served didn't ruin his year-long efforts. But it was certainly the first time he described some sport as being freeing. Which begged the question : what did Buck feel the need to get free of ?
"Maybe we could find something like that back home and do it together ?" he proposed to test the water.
"I'd like that," Buck immediately approved with another smile.
Buck kept on describing his afternoon, and then he asked Eddie about his show. It had gone well enough and Eddie was proud of himself and the ship's dancers who had accompanied him. They had ended the show to thunderous applause and many people had come to tell him how enchanted they had been for the whole duration of his performance. And Buck's smile grew dim.
"Buck, what is it ?" Eddie pressed him. "I can't make things right if you don't talk to me."
"I know it's so selfish," Buck hesitated, "but I resent them."
"Resent who ?"
"Your fans. They take so much of your time, but I guess that's not really the problem. With them, you don't mind taking a photo very close, or with their arm on your shoulders. But when I do it…"
When Buck did it, Eddie tensed and walked far enough to make sure he wouldn't do it again. Because he loved it too much and feared one day he wouldn't be able to move away.
"I love you so much, Eddie," Buck continued, "and I want you to be happy, but I deserve to be happy too."
"I love you too, you know that…"
Eddie was cut off by one of those fans Buck resented, calling his name from the other side of the bar as a small group entered the place and walked to the counter.
"I can't believe I get to see you twice in a day," the same guy continued as he came to stand next to Eddie, completely ignoring Buck, "and so close and personal ! You're even more gorgeous like that, without make-up or special outfits."
The guy's friends nodded and loudly approved, mentioning most of all some of the rather skimpy outfits Eddie had worn to dance.
"Thanks, that's very kind of you to say."
"Nothing but the truth, honest ! I'm Derek, by the way."
Derek offered his hand and Eddie shook it, hoping the guy would get a clue and leave after that but he was soon proved wrong.
"Hey, man, let me buy you a beer or something to thank you for an amazing show."
In the way he turned back to the counter and finished his beer, Eddie felt Buck's resignation even before he offered to go do something else while Eddie mingled with his adoring fans.
"No, thank you," Eddie answered a bit more fiercely than necessary. "Sorry but I'm with my friend right now and we planned to spend a lazy night talking. I'm sure you understand. We'll find another opportunity, okay ?"
He didn't wait before he pushed Buck to stand up, gripping his impressive bicep, and walk in the direction of the big, comfortable chairs he had spotted in a darker corner that would allow them to be mostly left alone.
They sat and ordered two more beers that were promptly delivered by a cheerful young woman who had eyes only for Eddie, which only made Buck's scowl bigger. Eddie put his beer down on the low table and turned towards Buck. Even there, he didn't dare take his hand, still too many people who could see them.
"Buck, I know it's hard for you. And I can't offer any kind of timeline, just ask for your patience."
He thought for a minute that Buck would ignore him, but though he wouldn't look at him, Buck finally answered.
"I am patient, Eds, you know it. And you're worth it. You're both worth it. I'm just not sure…"
"Sure about what ? Tell me."
"Sure that you really want to change anything now."
There was a long silence, one hard to bear, full of hurt and betrayal on both parts.
"I thought you trusted me," Eddie said, voice barely audible in his dismay.
Buck finally angled his body towards Eddie's as the truth of his doubts spilled from his mouth.
"I did. I do ! But then I see you so open and tactile when you dance, laughing and touching so easily all those women and men, even in front of Chris. But when I put my arm around your shoulders or your waist, I feel you tense so hard until I take a step away. It's getting worse and I don't know how to feel, just that you don't want me to touch you at all in public. And unless you're getting jealous, you won't touch me either, or you just stop immediately when you realize you're doing it. It's hard not to feel like your dirty little secret."
Anger and love were fighting for Eddie's attention. He was trying to do the best for everyone, and failing miserably, it was now obvious. Talking about his feelings was not something that came easily to him at the best of times and Buck had always been so understanding with him, he deserved more than what Eddie gave him. But lashing out was so much easier that Eddie had to keep his mouth shut to make sure nothing he'd regret would come out.
Everybody knew he was bisexual, thanks to the partners he had danced with during his career - he was pretty sure his tremendous success was mostly due to the oh so sensual tango he had chosen to dance with a very male partner for the finale of Strut Your Stuff. Anyway, his sexuality had never been a problem, and even less of a worry. Eddie was who he was, and those who didn't like it could walk away. The only people whose opinions mattered were his family. Chris and Buck first and foremost, because for all Buck's doubts, Eddie considered him family. He was the one he had chosen years ago, not that long after Shannon and him had fallen apart. The one who had stood by him but demanded nothing for himself when Shannon had tried to come back into his life, and Eddie had taken the time to think about it because of Chris. The one who had been there for Eddie and his son when Shannon had died shortly after in a car accident. The one who had agreed to stay in the shadows when Chris had flat out refused the possibility for his father to date someone else, not even giving him time to tell him that nothing had to change if Buck came to live with them permanently.
And yes, maybe it was time to try again. Maybe this trip was the perfect way to show Chris how it could be for the three of them, together all the time, a real family at last. Eddie was so certain that, given the chance, Buck would win over Christopher's decision to keep his father all to himself, the same way he had won the kid's heart a long time ago.
"I'll try again," he finally said. "We can use the cruise to show Chris that anywhere we go, no matter who's there with us, it's just the three of us, like always, and that we're so good together. And then I promise, Buck, I'll talk to Chris again. Or we'll talk to him together. Can you trust me that little bit longer ?"
That got Buck to turn around and face him.
"I can trust you forever, Eddie. I just need to know your heart's still in it."
"One hundred percent, Buck. More than that, even. Do you think it's easy for me to see how men and women alike look at you and I can't tell them you're mine, not really ?"
"Yeah ?" Buck asked, a small, hopeful smile on his handsome face.
"Yeah, just as much as you'd want to show them all that I'm yours. Evan Buckley, you and me would already be married if it wasn't for Christopher's fears."
"You used my full name. I know you're dreadfully serious when you do that," Buck chuckled.
"You better believe it, Evan."
"Maybe we could… show each other, somewhere more private."
Eddie grinned, more relieved than words could express.
"I'd love that."
They finished their beers in a few, long gulps, neither of them losing eye contact for fear something or someone would interrupt if they so much as glanced aside. Then they left the bar, walking probably closer and faster than two simple buddies going in search of something to do on a night out, but Eddie couldn't find in himself the will to care in that very moment. He needed to be alone with Buck, to reassure them both that they were okay just as much as to answer his body's acute need for Buck's touch.
Eddie took Buck through the decks, mostly deserted at this hour, night shrouding them to allow for a swift walk and no fans to deal with.
He very manly shrieked in fright when he felt himself grabbed and pulled into a narrow corner just big enough to hide the both of them. Buck's huge body sheltered Eddie's from the rest of the world, and Eddie eagerly responded to the mouth encouraging his to open up for the most filthy kiss Eddie could imagine.
He loved it when Buck let loose, and the semi-public state of their position made it just that bit more dangerous. He felt himself harden in such a short time he got dizzy with it, enough that he helped when Buck began to push his shirt up and his shorts down.
Eddie had never been naked outside of some room, and certainly not on a cruise ship full of randy vacationers. If possible, he got harder than ever, moaning for Buck to touch him there again, more, to pinch his other nipple, to push inside him deeper, always deeper.
Buck was the one who first got back to his senses, faced with the practical side of their lovemaking.
"Eddie," he whispered, biting Eddie's lower lip, "I need to get you on a bed. I need to fuck you."
Eddie's world exploded behind his eyelids at those words, not wanting any delay before he could feel Buck deeply impaled in him. He was so turned on, he almost begged Buck to do it here, or to carry him all the way to one of their bedrooms while he kept stroking him. Common sense won by a very shallow margin, and only thanks to Buck who grabbed his shorts back to dress him again.
They practically ran to their deck, fueled by desire and love. They didn't see anyone, or totally missed any attempt at stopping them.
Buck's room was the closest, making for an easy choice, and soon Eddie found himself backed up against the inside of the door, Buck losing no time disrobing him again. Eddie helped as much as he could, raising his arms to get rid of his shirt, and then fumbling to push Buck's away while Buck was busy pushing Eddie's shorts down. Before he could get what was happening, Buck lifted him, both hands under Eddie's ass, high enough to make Eddie the taller one for once. Eddie helped him by closing his legs around his waist, and Buck thanked him by pushing his fingers back in his ass.
Their kiss got hungrier, dirtier, bordering on frantic.
"Buck, now !"
Buck didn't try to tease him, proof that he too was at the end of his rope. He moved away from the door, making sure Eddie was safe in his hold before carrying him to the bed. Eddie could already feel his cock nudging at his hole through the fabric of his shorts and he couldn't wait anymore for the real thing.
"Now !" he ordered once again.
In an impressive economy of moves, Buck laid Eddie on his back to get rid of his own shorts and underwear and in the next few seconds, coated with lube, he was pushing inside Eddie's ass like a general would push his troops to invade the enemy's country, the only difference being that Eddie was doing his best to allow the invasion.
The kiss this time was downright frantic, completely ravenous. Buck's focus was clearly narrowed to his cock as it slid inside and out of Eddie with equal intent and force, submitting Eddie's will to his own need, pushing his legs open that much more to be able to get that fraction deeper. And Eddie relished the sensation, would open more if only he could, would take Buck inside him forever. Keep his heart close to bask in this wondrous feeling of being loved at all times.
"Evan, baby, don't hold back."
The words worked their magic on Buck who started pounding Eddie's prostate like there was no tomorrow. They moved around the bed to the rhythm imposed by Buck's hips, wild, always quicker, and Eddie's cries of pleasure aligned to the same beat.
He never wanted to stop, and he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to come so badly, to fall into this abyss of pleasure but to keep his body alight with the raging need Buck was unleashing on him.
"Evan," Eddie couldn't help the aborted cry as he came hard in Buck's hand.
Proving the name wasn't so unused. It had become the proof of their intimacy, the name Eddie loved to whisper in the dark, the mark that they were together, so close, so in love.
It wasn't that the name was unused, really. It was just that Eddie kept it for himself, a special treasure the two of them shared and guarded fiercely with their love. They had never spoken about it, never put words to this feeling, but Eddie was sure that Buck knew what it meant when he used his birth name.
He had missed sleeping in Buck's arms so much. He laid his head on Buck's chest and listened to the beat of his heart, so soothing it felt like nothing could ever touch them as long as they had each other. No doubt problems and complications would knock at their door in the morning again, but right now, Eddie wanted to think of nothing more than the man he loved and that thing they shared.
They made love again when Buck woke up and brought Eddie back to awareness with caresses so good that he raised himself before he was even really awake, moving to straddle Buck's body and sink onto his cock. He had missed that too, this look of love and admiration Buck cocooned him in, hands on his hips to help every time Eddie moved up and then back down, taking Buck all the way in, as far as possible. Groaning deep with each hit on his prostate, begging for more.
Buck was no contest the best lover Eddie had ever had, and the most attentive. They had been together long enough that they knew how to push each other over the edge in a few seconds, or on the contrary how to keep each other on that edge, crazy with want, building up the need to come until it felt unbearable but they kept at it. Buck was doing exactly that, playing with Eddie, getting sounds out of him that had to be too loud to be missed by the passengers sleeping in the nearby rooms, but Eddie didn't care, only intent on catching his orgasm, touching Buck and being touched by him.
There was nothing he loved more than sharing a shower with Buck after love. Buck enjoyed washing him from head to toe, with a reverence that made Eddie stop minding for a moment that he was an adult and perfectly able to wash himself. He wasn't stupid enough to willingly miss the opportunity for more caresses and kisses.
It took him forever to dress again and leave, Buck getting his clothes off as soon as Eddie put them on. They would certainly have gone for round three if Eddie didn't have to get Chris back from his sleepover in less than fifteen minutes.
He was already well on his way before he realized he had once again forgotten to ask Buck about the woman and the events Gabby had reminded him of. He debated with himself about going back but there was no time, really, and Buck had said he would go back to sleep for a little while when Eddie had left.
He would ask later, as soon as they were alone.
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To chapter 9