(no subject)
Since I know no one reads this. I feel the need to vent in private but somewhere I know I can get a little advice.. so yea Once apon a time...
This summer has been very interesting and part of me wishes it wouldnt end. For starters I had a falling out between my best friends which lead to a 6 month silence treatment. All is well now tho. I feel like we're closer than ever and I dont know what I would do with out those two.. and then theres the other one who I feel Ive drifted from.. like the past 6 months didnt matter.. like I was just a friend to say she had... w/e things are just weird.. but yea anyways..
The Love Factory isnt going so well.. I mean Ive had new experiences but I still havent dated since Eric. and right now Im feeling kind of shitty cus this guy I was just with I have a crush on and got my hopes up and then I find out hes hanging out with this Leah chick and then Im feeling like the world is against me and that this is the whole reason I dont like people cus it gets thrown in my face and then about 3 mins later I find out Leah is his sister.. wow I feel like a jack ass for thinking he was just another guy... Hes kinda special to me right now.. but then theres another love interest.. .I feel like a pimp.. and Im not trying to sound full of myself but I feel like I can get any guy I want right now.. at the moment off the top of my head there Greg <3 Joe and Shane. and then theres the guys just there to hook up with . like Justin er John Brian & Tim but yea.. Idk.. I feel like I dont want a boyfriend .. its just so official .. and I dont like being chained.. and I dont want to get hurt. sometimes it better not to get to close. Then the fact the my friends dont make it very easy on me.. cus like every guy that shows some interest one of my girls has to have some feelings for him. so naturally I wont like em cus its rude to do stuff with a guy your friends into.. its not very nice.. and I know it just pisses them off. I made that mistake once .. er twice.. yea what else.. oh theres that little part of me looking to lose my v card just cus it seems like its not a big deal anymore.. and I just feel like i need to get it over with .. maybe then I wouldnt be so distant in relationships .. its funny Ive had "Moments" where shit coulda went down but I was either to scared er not ready er physically not capable because of the menstral and now Im like just do it to me and lets get it over with! ha yea lets stop talking about that now...
What other new experiences have I had... Got Drunk a couple times.. I smoked weed.. Stole some things just to see if I could do it.. Went Bulemic and Anarexic.. hmm I think thats about it... More experiences to come once I get my license.. in 5 days
but all in all I feel this summer has made me stronger.. Like I could walk up to the biggest bitch in the world right now spit in her face and tell her to shut the fuck up.
This summer has been very interesting and part of me wishes it wouldnt end. For starters I had a falling out between my best friends which lead to a 6 month silence treatment. All is well now tho. I feel like we're closer than ever and I dont know what I would do with out those two.. and then theres the other one who I feel Ive drifted from.. like the past 6 months didnt matter.. like I was just a friend to say she had... w/e things are just weird.. but yea anyways..
The Love Factory isnt going so well.. I mean Ive had new experiences but I still havent dated since Eric. and right now Im feeling kind of shitty cus this guy I was just with I have a crush on and got my hopes up and then I find out hes hanging out with this Leah chick and then Im feeling like the world is against me and that this is the whole reason I dont like people cus it gets thrown in my face and then about 3 mins later I find out Leah is his sister.. wow I feel like a jack ass for thinking he was just another guy... Hes kinda special to me right now.. but then theres another love interest.. .I feel like a pimp.. and Im not trying to sound full of myself but I feel like I can get any guy I want right now.. at the moment off the top of my head there Greg <3 Joe and Shane. and then theres the guys just there to hook up with . like Justin er John Brian & Tim but yea.. Idk.. I feel like I dont want a boyfriend .. its just so official .. and I dont like being chained.. and I dont want to get hurt. sometimes it better not to get to close. Then the fact the my friends dont make it very easy on me.. cus like every guy that shows some interest one of my girls has to have some feelings for him. so naturally I wont like em cus its rude to do stuff with a guy your friends into.. its not very nice.. and I know it just pisses them off. I made that mistake once .. er twice.. yea what else.. oh theres that little part of me looking to lose my v card just cus it seems like its not a big deal anymore.. and I just feel like i need to get it over with .. maybe then I wouldnt be so distant in relationships .. its funny Ive had "Moments" where shit coulda went down but I was either to scared er not ready er physically not capable because of the menstral and now Im like just do it to me and lets get it over with! ha yea lets stop talking about that now...
What other new experiences have I had... Got Drunk a couple times.. I smoked weed.. Stole some things just to see if I could do it.. Went Bulemic and Anarexic.. hmm I think thats about it... More experiences to come once I get my license.. in 5 days
but all in all I feel this summer has made me stronger.. Like I could walk up to the biggest bitch in the world right now spit in her face and tell her to shut the fuck up.