Jul 24, 2006 11:58
Six weeks and I will be IN Maine. So I have five weeks of things to do.
I am beginning to think that some people in my life do not understand the magnitude of that statement. Probably no one reading this falls into that category, but it seems lately, people are just coming out of the woodwork, demanding my time and energies. The “fringe” players in my life. Those who did not care what I was doing with my time a couple months ago.
Take my friends at work for example. Some of them I do adore, and hang out with regularly, like Shelley and Trina. Not a day goes by that I do not spend a good portion of the day gossiping with them. We have a standing lunch date every Friday. I hang out with Shelley and her hubby Scott. Trina and I have been friends since she started here and she now cries every time I go talk to her, knowing that soon I will be gone. These people mean a lot to me. I WANT to make plans with them. I WANT to spend time with them before I leave. Luckily, they are NOT demanding, as I see them everyday. My coworkers I do not need to see as much of, however, Iris has planned a nice Saturday afternoon for us all to go out on her boat in Chester in August. A little going away party for me, as well as a chance for us all to spend time socially. I do not mind this at all. I think its sweet actually. A very nice gesture. And its just one afternoon of my time.
But then there are people at work that I do NOT need to spend oodles of time with. Tanya, for example, has demanded that she needs to hang out with me, just me and her. AND hang out with me, Tom and Kathy. AND have our friend Angie up from Yarmouth to hang out as well. As much as I appreciate that she wants to spend time with me, I DO NOT have the time or the energy to make all these plans with people who I never see!! Angie, I have seen ONCE in the last 2 years. ONCE. Tom and Kathy, I usually only see them when a concert is in town as Tom is my old-metal-buddy. If they do not have time to see me… that’s ok!! Tanya and I probably have not hung out since April or so. Mostly because she pisses me off. And this is no exception.
It’s beginning to stress me out. I feel an anxious tightness in my stomach and chest. I think about the time I have left here, and I think about all the things I have left to do. I want to see my family as much as I can. I want to see my CLOSE friends as much as I can. I NEED TIME ALONE. Soon I will be living with three other girls, in a dorm full of people.
Not to mention that I cannot AFFORD to be out every night with some “fringe” person that did not have time for me a few weeks ago. I just cannot justify the spending right now. I need FREE fun, with my close friends and family.
In the next 5 weeks, I have work almost every day, except for a few planned days off. I have to write my Praxis Exam. I have eye appointments, glasses to buy, banking to do, shopping to do, packing to do. I have to shop for a laptop with my father. I have to box up most of the belongings that are staying behind. I have to decide what I am taking with me, as I cannot be packing at the last minute. I have school stuff yet to do.
I do not have time to WASTE either. Do I have time to do all of this in five weeks?
All of this has lead me to a very important decision. Only CHOICE people will know when I am coming home, and when I will be in town from school. I cannot deal with these demands every time I set foot in Halifax. I just cannot.