Can't Handle the Pressure
So Patrick and I have been learning to scuba dive! We figured it'd be cheapest to get certified here in Wisconsin, and the certification is for life, so we can go dive all over the place afterwards. After five weeks of watching videos and practicing skills in the diving well at the university pool, we were supposed to meet the rest of our class for two open-water dives. In the lake. In Wisconsin. Keep in mind that in this area, "spring" means "anything above freezing." So when I picked up Patrick's sinus infection, we knew we were too congested to dive that day.
Well now it's a few weeks later, we're mostly mucus-free, and we've signed ourselves up with two other beginners for our open-water dives yesterday and today. We get into the water just after 5pm, and it's far less cold than I was anticipating. Excellent! But what's this? Our instructor is not happy. Seems we took too long getting ready and now have limited time to do our dives. I know his "we" is actually me. During the pool dives, even though I was always working as quickly as I could, I was usually the last one ready. Now, with a 7mm wetsuit to wriggle into and a much heavier weight belt (on top of the tank I am too weak to carry for long or wear without falling backwards), I'm hopeless.
Our plan is to follow the lead line from the lakeshore along the bottom until we reach the underwater platform, then ascend from there. I swim along the line, still adjusting to all the gear and trying to equalize the pressure in my ears (which is identical to the ear-popping pressure you feel in an airplane, but happens much faster). Trouble is, the visibility in the lake is only a few feet, worsening as we touch the silty bottom and kick up sediment. The five of us lose track of each other, and then we lose sight of the line, too. Finally, the instructor tracks us down and has us ascend. We retry, and this time, I descend quickly despite the pain in my ears, trying not to lose sight of the group. We anchor the surface float to the platform and regroup on the surface.
Time to descend to the platform and knock out these skills! I can do this! I got the hang of all the skills in the pool, I'm mostly adjusted to the wetsuit, and the platform is only 20 feet down. We descend, and I immediately have trouble equalizing my ears. My right ear just won't pop. I signal to my buddy, knowing I can't lose her. She stays with me, a few feet deeper, as I equalize forcefully. Slowly, painfully, I descend, crying into my mask, knowing I've taken far too long and am holding up the group. By the time I'm down on the bottom with her, we've drifted away from the platform and have no idea which direction it's in. We look all around, but can't see anything with visibility so low. Finally, we ascend and find ourselves about thirty feet from the float.
The instructor is pissed. We are already past our allotted time and haven't even done the skills dives yet. He yells at us for not staying with our buddies. I try to explain I couldn't equalize and my buddy couldn't stay within sight of both me and the group. We practice surface skills, ones I had no problem with in the pool, but now I keep inhaling lake water and choking. My ears won't clear, even on the surface, and the congestion from crying isn't helping. Finally, the instructor sees how hard I'm crying around my snorkel and stops blustering at me. He's forgotten my name (there are three girls in my group, all wearing identical pink wetsuits) and he's still frustrated, but he tries anyway. I can descend as slowly as I want, holding on to the float line for control, and join the group whenever I'm ready.
I inch down the line, pulling myself up every so often to relieve the pressure, and eventually make it to the platform. My ears hurt, but less than before, and I perform decently as the instructor rushes us through the skills and ascent. But the pressure and pain don't alleviate at the surface, and I'm a wreck. We're running extremely late and the instructor clearly hates it. He has to put my weight belt back on me during the remove-and-replace drill, because I can't lift it very well and I'm crying and choking on water. When he asks if I've done the BCD remove-and-replace, I lie and say yes. Back at the shop, he signs off on skills he never saw me do or had to do for me, and I feel like I'm back in Germany, getting a "B for effort" from a language-class instructor who took pity on me and wrote English translations of his corrections on the margins of my pathetic paragraphs.
We have another dive in a few hours, and my ears still haven't cleared, despite multiple equalization attempts and applications of SwimEar. I've spent the morning diagnosing myself online, and I think I gave myself an ear barotrauma by descending too quickly and equalizing too forcefully. I don't think I'm supposed to dive like this. But what can I do? I only have one dive left, and I've already had to reschedule once. Why am I always the problem? I can't get ready on time, can't lift my gear, can't put on my own fins, can't descend to 20 feet without hurting myself. The runt, the weakling, flobbering around, making everyone late, messing things up. I'm not going to be able to ask the instructor to reschedule without crying, and I've been so worried about this all day that I haven't gotten any work done.
Well, crap. Time to face my anxiety. Time to stop crying, which is making me congested and even more unfit to dive. The dive shop has experts who can look at my ear and determine whether I can dive today, and they hold classes at least once a month, so I could go along with a later class to finish the dive. I just have to tell myself that it's not a race, that I can do this even if the pace is slower, that I will get through it!
Well now it's a few weeks later, we're mostly mucus-free, and we've signed ourselves up with two other beginners for our open-water dives yesterday and today. We get into the water just after 5pm, and it's far less cold than I was anticipating. Excellent! But what's this? Our instructor is not happy. Seems we took too long getting ready and now have limited time to do our dives. I know his "we" is actually me. During the pool dives, even though I was always working as quickly as I could, I was usually the last one ready. Now, with a 7mm wetsuit to wriggle into and a much heavier weight belt (on top of the tank I am too weak to carry for long or wear without falling backwards), I'm hopeless.
Our plan is to follow the lead line from the lakeshore along the bottom until we reach the underwater platform, then ascend from there. I swim along the line, still adjusting to all the gear and trying to equalize the pressure in my ears (which is identical to the ear-popping pressure you feel in an airplane, but happens much faster). Trouble is, the visibility in the lake is only a few feet, worsening as we touch the silty bottom and kick up sediment. The five of us lose track of each other, and then we lose sight of the line, too. Finally, the instructor tracks us down and has us ascend. We retry, and this time, I descend quickly despite the pain in my ears, trying not to lose sight of the group. We anchor the surface float to the platform and regroup on the surface.
Time to descend to the platform and knock out these skills! I can do this! I got the hang of all the skills in the pool, I'm mostly adjusted to the wetsuit, and the platform is only 20 feet down. We descend, and I immediately have trouble equalizing my ears. My right ear just won't pop. I signal to my buddy, knowing I can't lose her. She stays with me, a few feet deeper, as I equalize forcefully. Slowly, painfully, I descend, crying into my mask, knowing I've taken far too long and am holding up the group. By the time I'm down on the bottom with her, we've drifted away from the platform and have no idea which direction it's in. We look all around, but can't see anything with visibility so low. Finally, we ascend and find ourselves about thirty feet from the float.
The instructor is pissed. We are already past our allotted time and haven't even done the skills dives yet. He yells at us for not staying with our buddies. I try to explain I couldn't equalize and my buddy couldn't stay within sight of both me and the group. We practice surface skills, ones I had no problem with in the pool, but now I keep inhaling lake water and choking. My ears won't clear, even on the surface, and the congestion from crying isn't helping. Finally, the instructor sees how hard I'm crying around my snorkel and stops blustering at me. He's forgotten my name (there are three girls in my group, all wearing identical pink wetsuits) and he's still frustrated, but he tries anyway. I can descend as slowly as I want, holding on to the float line for control, and join the group whenever I'm ready.
I inch down the line, pulling myself up every so often to relieve the pressure, and eventually make it to the platform. My ears hurt, but less than before, and I perform decently as the instructor rushes us through the skills and ascent. But the pressure and pain don't alleviate at the surface, and I'm a wreck. We're running extremely late and the instructor clearly hates it. He has to put my weight belt back on me during the remove-and-replace drill, because I can't lift it very well and I'm crying and choking on water. When he asks if I've done the BCD remove-and-replace, I lie and say yes. Back at the shop, he signs off on skills he never saw me do or had to do for me, and I feel like I'm back in Germany, getting a "B for effort" from a language-class instructor who took pity on me and wrote English translations of his corrections on the margins of my pathetic paragraphs.
We have another dive in a few hours, and my ears still haven't cleared, despite multiple equalization attempts and applications of SwimEar. I've spent the morning diagnosing myself online, and I think I gave myself an ear barotrauma by descending too quickly and equalizing too forcefully. I don't think I'm supposed to dive like this. But what can I do? I only have one dive left, and I've already had to reschedule once. Why am I always the problem? I can't get ready on time, can't lift my gear, can't put on my own fins, can't descend to 20 feet without hurting myself. The runt, the weakling, flobbering around, making everyone late, messing things up. I'm not going to be able to ask the instructor to reschedule without crying, and I've been so worried about this all day that I haven't gotten any work done.
Well, crap. Time to face my anxiety. Time to stop crying, which is making me congested and even more unfit to dive. The dive shop has experts who can look at my ear and determine whether I can dive today, and they hold classes at least once a month, so I could go along with a later class to finish the dive. I just have to tell myself that it's not a race, that I can do this even if the pace is slower, that I will get through it!