Avatar: Escapades of the Blind Bandit and Meathead - Assigning Responsibility
The Escapades of the Blind Bandit and Meathead - Assigning Responsibility
Or, how to explain to a pissed off Fire Lord why his uncle’s favorite tea house has been destroyed.
A/N: I literally wrote this in like, half a minute one night, and it's easily my favorite Escapade ever.
Do I really need to put a spoiler warning still for the season finale? There is a tiny one in there.
It’s a short one - it’s alllll for the last line, baby.
How Sokka Explained:
“Well, you see, Zu - Lord Zuko - sir,” Sokka tripped over his words, trying to think of the best way to explain the previous night to the extremely angry Fire Lord and his tearful uncle.
“We started out at the Cranky Dragon, like usual.” Sokka scratched the back of his head. “Me and Toph had a few drinks, like usual, played some cards, like usual. It was a usual night for us.”
Zuko held up a piece of parchment. “This says you’re not allowed back into the Cranky Dragon until after the next full moon.”
“Ah! Well, see, Toph and I were talking about the moon, and Toph remembered some stories from when she was a kid, about how some people would turn into boarwolves at the full moon, and one thing led to another, you know-“
The look on Zuko’s face indicated he did not know. Next to him, Iroh let out a loud sniffle.
“We started thinking about what it would be like to be a boarwolf, we may have done a few impersonations - we were drunk, and you know how drunk people talk-“
“Toph bit three people.” Zuko said coolly.
“We… didn’t want the boarwolves to die out?” Sokka tried weakly.
Zuko rubbed his eyes wearily. “Get to the part with the fountain.”
“Okay, that was an accident,” Sokka objected.
“Just explain why Public Service is cleaning green bubbles from the town square.”
“I was carrying powder in my pouch from my experiments with your blast crews.” Sokka shrugged, making a futile attempt to downplay the situation. “Toph claimed she was thirsty, got into the fountain and then thought she was drowning. I had no idea that a little, tiny, bit of powder would react with simple water that way!”
Zuko eyed him.
“And then Toph decided it was hilarious and dumped the rest of the powder in.” Sokka conceded.
Zuko looked down at his report again. “Want to tell me why you’re not allowed in the Smoky Rat Tavern ever again?”
“Oh. Toph was claiming she could see through people’s clothes. It wasn’t a problem until she started comparing guy’s… you know.” Sokka felt a blush heat up his face.
“That got you banned from the bar forever?” Zuko asked flatly.
“Some of the guys took it pretty personally… including the head barkeep…”
Zuko sighed. “Just get to the teahouse.” Iroh let out a choked sound.
“Well I wanted a place to calm down after all the excitement of the evening!” Sokka exclaimed defensively. “And what better place then a nice, relaxing tea house with a soothing cup of jasmine tea?”
Iroh whimpered at the mention of his favorite tea.
“You find relaxation in destroying a teahouse?” Zuko’s jaw was clenched, teeth gritting audibly.
“No! That was a total accident!” Sokka insisted. “These guys came in and challenged Toph to an arm wrestling contest…” he trailed off, trying to remember what had happened next.
“And?” Zuko demanded.
“Um… these guys came in and challenged Toph to an arm wrestling contest, and then the tea house was accidentally destroyed. Look, it’ll give them a chance to make it better! It was just plain old stone before - they can build a metal building now! Toph would be safe in there!”
Zuko glared at him.
“Oh right.” Sokka stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Toph can bend metal.”
“So then what happened?” Zuko asked, clearly nearing the end of his patience with the whole matter.
“Then you wouldn’t bail us out of jail.”
Zuko slammed a fist down to his desk. “Damnit, you destroyed Uncle’s favorite tea house! Of course I let you spend the night in jail!”
“There’s no reason to be like that!” Sokka said contemptuously.
Zuko’s head dropped down to the desk. “Get out of my sight. Go get Toph.”
“Look,” said Sokka. “I know she made some mistakes last night, but please don’t be angry with her. I’ll take responsibility for her. Just don’t yell at her.”
“Go get Toph.” Zuko ordered in a low, dangerous tone.
How Toph Explained:
“Well?” demanded Zuko.
“Look,” Toph said crossly. “It was all Sokka’s fault!”
Or, how to explain to a pissed off Fire Lord why his uncle’s favorite tea house has been destroyed.
A/N: I literally wrote this in like, half a minute one night, and it's easily my favorite Escapade ever.
Do I really need to put a spoiler warning still for the season finale? There is a tiny one in there.
It’s a short one - it’s alllll for the last line, baby.
How Sokka Explained:
“Well, you see, Zu - Lord Zuko - sir,” Sokka tripped over his words, trying to think of the best way to explain the previous night to the extremely angry Fire Lord and his tearful uncle.
“We started out at the Cranky Dragon, like usual.” Sokka scratched the back of his head. “Me and Toph had a few drinks, like usual, played some cards, like usual. It was a usual night for us.”
Zuko held up a piece of parchment. “This says you’re not allowed back into the Cranky Dragon until after the next full moon.”
“Ah! Well, see, Toph and I were talking about the moon, and Toph remembered some stories from when she was a kid, about how some people would turn into boarwolves at the full moon, and one thing led to another, you know-“
The look on Zuko’s face indicated he did not know. Next to him, Iroh let out a loud sniffle.
“We started thinking about what it would be like to be a boarwolf, we may have done a few impersonations - we were drunk, and you know how drunk people talk-“
“Toph bit three people.” Zuko said coolly.
“We… didn’t want the boarwolves to die out?” Sokka tried weakly.
Zuko rubbed his eyes wearily. “Get to the part with the fountain.”
“Okay, that was an accident,” Sokka objected.
“Just explain why Public Service is cleaning green bubbles from the town square.”
“I was carrying powder in my pouch from my experiments with your blast crews.” Sokka shrugged, making a futile attempt to downplay the situation. “Toph claimed she was thirsty, got into the fountain and then thought she was drowning. I had no idea that a little, tiny, bit of powder would react with simple water that way!”
Zuko eyed him.
“And then Toph decided it was hilarious and dumped the rest of the powder in.” Sokka conceded.
Zuko looked down at his report again. “Want to tell me why you’re not allowed in the Smoky Rat Tavern ever again?”
“Oh. Toph was claiming she could see through people’s clothes. It wasn’t a problem until she started comparing guy’s… you know.” Sokka felt a blush heat up his face.
“That got you banned from the bar forever?” Zuko asked flatly.
“Some of the guys took it pretty personally… including the head barkeep…”
Zuko sighed. “Just get to the teahouse.” Iroh let out a choked sound.
“Well I wanted a place to calm down after all the excitement of the evening!” Sokka exclaimed defensively. “And what better place then a nice, relaxing tea house with a soothing cup of jasmine tea?”
Iroh whimpered at the mention of his favorite tea.
“You find relaxation in destroying a teahouse?” Zuko’s jaw was clenched, teeth gritting audibly.
“No! That was a total accident!” Sokka insisted. “These guys came in and challenged Toph to an arm wrestling contest…” he trailed off, trying to remember what had happened next.
“And?” Zuko demanded.
“Um… these guys came in and challenged Toph to an arm wrestling contest, and then the tea house was accidentally destroyed. Look, it’ll give them a chance to make it better! It was just plain old stone before - they can build a metal building now! Toph would be safe in there!”
Zuko glared at him.
“Oh right.” Sokka stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Toph can bend metal.”
“So then what happened?” Zuko asked, clearly nearing the end of his patience with the whole matter.
“Then you wouldn’t bail us out of jail.”
Zuko slammed a fist down to his desk. “Damnit, you destroyed Uncle’s favorite tea house! Of course I let you spend the night in jail!”
“There’s no reason to be like that!” Sokka said contemptuously.
Zuko’s head dropped down to the desk. “Get out of my sight. Go get Toph.”
“Look,” said Sokka. “I know she made some mistakes last night, but please don’t be angry with her. I’ll take responsibility for her. Just don’t yell at her.”
“Go get Toph.” Zuko ordered in a low, dangerous tone.
How Toph Explained:
“Well?” demanded Zuko.
“Look,” Toph said crossly. “It was all Sokka’s fault!”