Avatar: Shadows in the Mind - Chapter 12
Title: Shadows in the Mind
Summary: Five years after the war is over, the world is finally settling into an uneasy peace. When the Avatar and his friends disappear into a swamp in the southwest Earth Kingdom, they find themselves fighting not only for their lives but to prevent another way from breaking out. Chapter Twelve: Katara confronts the intruder, Aang explores his surroundings, and Ty Lee starts to doubt.
Rating: Light T, for violence and blood.
A/N: I’m putting this up early instead of waiting for chapter 14 to be completed - this whole chapter practically wrote itself, it was so easy. I hardly made any revisions. And thus, the official beginning of the climax.
Chapter 12 - Dramatis Personae
With a gasp, Aang’s eyes snapped open. Shooting up, he looked around and tried to remember what had happened - he’d seen something moving in the trees, and had climbed up to look -
He caught sight of his hand out of the corner of his eye and looked down. Transparent and glowing blue. He’d fallen into the Spirit World somehow, without even trying. He knew he should have been concerned, but he’d long accepted that the swamp did weird things to him, so mostly he felt irritated. Hopping lightly on the branches, he made his way back down to the ground, wondering if his body had fallen and if Katara had been forced to heal any physical injuries -
He then caught sight of Katara - and his body. A strange noise left his lungs - not quiet a gasp, but a soft noise of dismay - as he watched the scene in front of him: his body, holding Katara by the arms against the tree, his head, dipped low to kiss her, and Katara’s eyes - wide open and panicked.
“Hey!” he cried, running over and trying to grab himself by the shoulder - it didn’t work, of course, since he was in the spirit world, but it seemed to catch the attention of whatever was controlling his body because it pulled away from Katara and tilted it’s head towards Aang, as if it could hear him.
“Do you mind?” he asked angrily, crossing his arms impatiently. His thoughts, instead of worrying about why a spirit had taken his body - something that had never happened before without his permission - were centered on how he was going to explain this whole incident to Katara, who was already in a bad state and looking even more horrified by the moment.
The spirit in his body chuckled at him - a deep, throaty laugh that he was sure he’d never made before - and let go of Katara, who sagged against the tree.
“It’s all mine now,” he said quietly before reaching out and flicking Aang right in the center of the arrow on his forehead. The force of it, however, was if he’d thrown all his body weight into it and Aang went flying, passing easily through the trunks of several trees before landing hard with an “ooph!” in the middle of a small clearing, nearly grown over with roots and tall grass. For a moment he lay there, blinking dazedly up into the brush, and wondered exactly what had happened and who was in his body.
And then he recalled, very vividly and clearly, that whoever was in his body was alone with Katara - and had already taken advantage of that fact once before. A heavy weight settled in his chest, that emotion he was so familiar with crawling through him like a blush. Even the most rational part of his mind felt the responsibility; the remorse for not seeing it coming; the guilt for letting it happen whether or not he was in control of the situation.
He sat up and once again took in his surroundings. It was a small clearing, full of tall yellow grass, and other dying plants. It was surrounded by a ring of black trees; nearly impenetrable, they grew so close together. Aang stood up and brushed himself off, putting a hand up to the tree closest to him and found that it was solid to him; passing through would be impossible. The grass was bent and broken, tracing jagged circling lines around the clearing, as if someone had paced through there, constantly. It was so quiet that the silence rang in Aang’s ears - there was no one around to help him.
Something glinted out of the corner of his eye. Aang looked up and realized he could see the sky again - it was painted a dark orange, and scarlet clouds floated gently through it, something that could have almost been seen as tranquil if not for the disturbing colors. Tearing his eyes from the sky, he turned and frowned, eyebrows creasing in confusion.
There, in the middle of the clearing, sat a tarnished gold throne. He walked towards it as if it were about to explode, unsure of its purpose. There was worn scarlet velvet coating the back and seat, and the when he reached out and ran his fingers over the back it was cool to the touch, despite the heavy, warm air. There were claw and scratch marks all over the arms, which were sculpted into the curled paws of a boar-lion. It was a quality piece of furniture that had clearly gone through years of use.
It was almost magnetic - Aang couldn’t tear his attention away from it despite the fact that he had far greater things to worry about; he needed to find a way out of there and get his body back; he needed to get back to protect Katara; he needed to find Sokka and Toph and Zuko; he needed to find a way out of the swamp - all of these fell to the back of his mind as he studied the throne. Deep in the recesses of his subconscious something pulled and tugged, some stray thought that was not entirely his threatened to break free and make itself known and explain what this throne was - and why it almost seemed familiar to him.
“What is this place?” he asked himself softly, hands reaching out and running along the curved edge of the back of the throne.
So intense was his focus that he didn’t realize that he’d spoken out loud, and therefore nearly jumped ten feet into the air when he received a response: “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll tell you about it?”
***
Iroh was eating lunch alone when he felt it, like the rolling grey clouds that signaled the approaching storm.
He was so startled he spilled his tea.
The servants busy clearing the rest of the table stopped and gawked at him openly.
He coughed in embarrassment and waved off their concern. “I’m fine! I’m feeling fine - these old hands aren’t as steady as they used to be.” Excusing himself, he stood up and announced that he was returning to his office to get a head start on work.
Halfway out the door he stopped, turned, and kindly asked that another pot of ginseng tea be sent to his office. The servants, too unnerved to press him further, scrambled to fill his request.
The atmosphere itself seemed heavier than it had moments ago, and instead of going into his office Iroh found himself going down the twisting and turning hallways to reach the small room that only Zuko and the maids ever really took notice of. Pulling the heavy metal door open, he slipped inside the room, blinking in the glaring sun.
The room, specifically placed to face the east, was Lord Zuko’s private mediation room - his own temple to Agni. Zuko had designed it himself, with floor to ceiling stained glass windows and a small alter at the center with an ever-burning flame.
In times of stress or unease Zuko had been known to hole himself up in here for hours - Iroh recalled how he’d been unsure about attending the conference in Ba Sing Se and had found guidance and comfort here in the temple.
Closing his eyes, Iroh dropped to his knees and exhaled, the four candles lining the front of the alter springing to life as he did so. The feeling of unease in his stomach grew, even as he murmured a prayer to Agni, something as well known and comforting to him as a childhood blanket.
His connection with the spirit world being what it was, he knew instantly that something had happened to upset the balance between the worlds - the political situation being what it was, it was obvious that the Avatar and his nephew were at the center of it.
What though - what could possibly upset the balance that badly? That quickly? It had come out of nowhere, rolling across the world like a shock wave after something impacted the earth.
In his ears he could hear the cracking of fire, snapping loudly all around him. Opening his eyes, he saw red and orange flames surrounding him, engulfing the room, licking at his arms and up his back. He frowned at the flames and reached out, cupping them in his hands as if they were a drink of water, and staring into them. They flared for a moment before turning blue and there was a flash of pain in his palm before he dropped them and looked around, watching in wonder as a ring of blue fire sprang up around the edge of the orange fire and started to overtake the orange flame and close in on Iroh, moving towards the center.
Iroh’s head tilted back, and above him the night sky sprawled out, black and endless. Despite the fact that they were due for a full moon there was neither pale light nor shining orb, only the millions upon millions of white stars that graced the sky, reaching far beyond the horizon and beyond Iroh’s sight, each with it’s own place and it’s own shine, impossible to count but easily distinct from one another.
Once, early in his travels with the young Avatar, Iroh had been training privately late one night, trying to teach the Avatar how to fight around the disadvantage he had as a firebender at night. Aang could focus when he had to, but this particular night he’d kept getting distracted, and finally Iroh had broken stance to ask him about it.
“Monk Gyatso told me once, right after I found out I was Avatar-“ Aang cut himself off, shoulders sagging for a moment, then turned to Iroh and asked, almost hopefully, “Why do you think there’re stars up there in the sky?”
“Agni,” Iroh answered at once. Aang’s face drew a question mark, and Iroh continued, “The stars are Agni’s eternally burning flames, placed in the night sky to guide the firebenders when his sun cannot give them strength.”
Aang had nodded, musing on this. The anxiousness hadn’t seened to leave his spirit, however, and Iroh had gently prodded, “What did Monk Gyatso tell you?”
“Right after the monks told me I was the Avatar, and I was afraid and Gyatso wanted to comfort me, he told me that the stars were all the Avatars in history, looking down on me.” He had paused for a long moment before confessing, “It just upset me even more.”
“And why is that?”
“Because no matter how high I flew,” Aang said faintly, “No matter how hard I tried, I could never reach the stars. They always seemed so far away.” He had turned and looked Iroh right in the eyes, and for a dark, terrible moment Iroh had seen, laid bare, the incredible burden that the young man had been forced to take on and how very alone he sometimes felt.
This memory was in the back of Iroh’s mind when from the east rose an unholy light, a column of white that broke into the night sky, forcing Iroh to look away as colored dots danced in front of his eyes.
This beacon called out, and the stars answered, moving from the night sky as if pulled towards the light. Iroh’s jaw dropped as millions of flying stars, too fast to even catch with the bare eye, passed over him, shooting towards their destination with a single-minded goal. The column of light grew larger but still the stars continued to come.
Heat crawled up his arms and chest - the blue flames had reached the center and were now engulfing Iroh, the fire crawling up his body. He could feel the heat on his neck now, sweat pouring down his face, but the light drew his attention again as it finally exploded, filling the entire world with a blindingly intense white light. Iroh threw his arm up over his eyes -
And with a gasp came to, eyes snapping open and taking in his surroundings. The candles on the alter were burned low, the red wax dripping off the table and down the edge of the black marble, reminding Iroh disturbingly of dripping blood. He stood up, knee joints popping, and gave a sigh of relief. He’d fallen asleep meditating - a terrible habit Zuko always railed at him for, especially when he started snoring and disrupted the services - and had dreamed a terrible nightmare. He was completely unharmed -
Except for the dark red blister forming in the palm of his hand, the result of a terrible burn.
***
Her legs weren’t working. They were simply overwhelmed and could no longer go on walking, let alone carrying her weight. Katara remained slumped against the trunk of the tree in the center of the swamp, staring dumbly down at her non-working legs and wondering, exactly, what had just happened and who was controlling Aang.
Whatever had momentarily stolen his attention was gone, and he turned his piercing gaze back to her. She nearly flinched; the look in his eyes was almost cruel with wide-eyed wonderment - the same look she had witnessed on Aang’s face during new experiences countless times before.
“Wh-Who are you?” she asked again, fear making her voice watery and brash at the same time.
He blinked and looked thoughtful. “I no longer remember my name. I forgot it a long time ago.” Then he turned away from her again, staring off through the trees as if searching for something.
She should have been trying to run away, trying to get out of there, trying to help somehow, but her legs still wouldn’t work, heavy and useless as she leaned against the tree and tried to catch her breath.
“It would be useless, you know,” he interjected suddenly, interrupting her panicked thoughts.
“Wha…?”
He came over to her and grabbed her by the forearms, easily hauling her up and putting her right on her feet. Instantly her knees began to shake, and she grabbed at the trunk for support before she fell again.
“Trying to get out of here without me. I’m the only one alive who knows how to get out of here - running away will only get you tangled even farther in the swamp, and with my pet running loose as well…” He trailed off, peering through the trees, as if wondering exactly where his pet had got to.
“Of course,” he continued, almost conversationally, “that’s if I decide to take you with me - You would certainly be an asset to me, since I’m not sure where the right one is, but I might not-“ He turned to look at her again, eyes burning with anger. “How would you like to be trapped her for hundreds of years, like I was? Your Avatar is trapped here - would you prefer to stay with him?”
“Why are you doing this?” she breathed, some strength finally returning to her limbs. “Aang never - he’s innocent-“
A sharp laugh rang out from the spirit - Katara shuddered at the unfamiliar noise - and he wheeled around to face her, the familiar body she knew so well so close to her own. “Innocent? Aang is not innocent.”
“He is-“ Katara started to insist, but she was cut off.
“Was he so innocent when he murdered the Fire Lord?” the spirit challenged.
Katara’s jaw dropped. “That’s completely - that wasn’t murder!” she spat. “That was-“
“You can justify it all you want - it’s what the Avatar has done all through history. Don’t you understand? It’s impossible to be innocent as the Avatar - you inherit not only the burden of the world but the sins of the past lives as well.” His eyes flashed dangerously. “And I promise you, no Avatar in history is innocent, but some far less so than others.” He drew even closer to her. “So the Avatar who slew Chin the Great? Aang. The Avatar who broke all the laws of the spirit world to cut down Koh? Aang. The Avatar who enabled Sozin’s war? Aang. The Avatar who imprisoned me in this swamp? They were all Aang.”
Katara was speechless. “You can’t blame - it’s not Aang-“
“Don’t you understand?” he snapped, his patience wearing thin. “It’s the law of the universe - the law of balance. What goes around comes around. Sins committed must be atoned for.”
“Is that who you are? The one who passes judgment?” Katara asked, feeling a shot of defensive anger on Aang’s behalf go through her.
He shrugged, turning away from her again and continuing his way around the tree. “The Avatar has been exempt from judgment for lifetimes. I may not be the one who is designated to pass judgment, but I have waited for hundreds of years to regain a physical body, and therefore I am merely filling my part in the law of balance by taking that of the Avatar’s.”
Terrible, righteous fury rose inside her, and for a moment she was so angry that she wanted to harm Aang’s body if it meant harming the awful creature who had taken it, but the moment she moved to fumble with her waterskin he lifted one of his hands and barely twitched; the waterskin at her side exploded.
“Are you forgetting,” he asked, voice low, not bothering to look back at her, “that you have taught me everything you know? You couldn’t hope to beat me.”
She’d lost her breath again. Panting slowly, eyes burning with unshed tears, limbs trembling with pent up fury, her hands stayed at her side, still in her stance, wondering what move to make next.
The stalemate was broken by a dull roar and a plume of blue flame that just barely caught at the hem of Katara’s sleeve. She wheeled away, her heart thundering in her throat.
“Maybe they split up,” she’d suggested earlier in the day, when Aang had wondered why she’d run into Mai but not Azula or Ty Lee.
She’d been partly right, she realized vaguely as the former princess advanced on her, taking no notice of the Avatar, her eyes glittering like a wolf that had cornered its prey. They had split up, but they were all still in the swamp.
***
She was letting her mind wander again, traveling back to the Water Tribe warrior and the blind girl, wondering vaguely where they were and if they were making it out all right. Despite her hostile attitude towards Ty Lee, the acrobat was actually slightly worried about her - Ty Lee had heard Toph muttering and tossing and turning in her little rock tent before she had heard Azula coming and left them behind.
How close Azula had come to them was nearly frightening - it had taken all of her power of persuasion to slowly push Azula slightly east - without arousing her suspicion - in order to avoid Sokka and Toph. The last thing Ty Lee wanted was to get into a fight with them.
Azula chose that moment to let out a bark of surprise and take off with absolutely no word of warning to Ty Lee. She jumped in surprise, just staring blankly at Azula’s running form for a moment before sighing, no longer surprised by her friend’s actions, and taking off, jogging lightly to keep her in sight but not attempting to catch up.
Azula had always been determined and stubborn to a fault - the fact that she had managed to spend five years in exile and still keep the air of a demanding princess about her was merely proof of that. She’d always been able to be loyal to everyone and no one at the same time, and Ty Lee had long suspected that the people Azula trusted most were neither her father nor any of her teachers but herself and Mai - and Agni certainly knew that Ty Lee and Mai had proved their loyalty to Azula, given everything they had gone through after the war.
Mai was sometimes in denial about it, for it was a thankless role they fulfilled, to keep the haughty princess Azula self-assured and confident. For the longest time Ty Lee had accepted it, sure that in the end it was worth it, to have Azula’s companionship and friendship - what passed for friendship with Azula, anyway. It was a choice Ty Lee had made willingly, enthusiastically.
For the first time in the years they’d known each other, Ty Lee was starting to doubt Azula. Not even at the very lowest point of her life, in those hellish weeks when they’d first been exiled, had Ty Lee doubted Azula’s ability to rise above it all, but ever since she’d received word about Zuko traveling to the Earth Kingdom, Azula had edged closer and closer to a dangerous precipice. And now, lost in this forsaken place with the sudden attacks from nowhere and the face-to-face meeting with her target itself, Azula was too confident, too focused, too brash and far too reckless, pushing beyond her limits to reach a goal that probably wasn’t even feasible at this point in time.
The furthest thought in her mind was of abandoning Azula, but Ty Lee couldn’t help wondering what, exactly, the outcome of this whole ordeal would be and how it was going to affect both Azula and herself.
She heard the distinct roar of Azula’s flame and picked up her pace, sure she was going to come upon the inevitable rematch between Zuko and Azula -
And was surprised when the blue light that flashed before her came not from Azula but from the warrior’s sister, the waterbender girl.
For a moment all she could do was gawk before looking around frantically to see if she was alone or if she had managed to meet up with Sokka and Toph again -
Then the same feeling of being watched - the one that had unnerved her so badly the night they had camped outside of the swamp - crawled up her spine to settle in her chest. Heart pounding, she looked around to meet the piercing gaze of the Avatar himself, standing straight and tall, hidden half behind the tree, staring right at her and not at all concerned with the deadly fight his lover was caught up in.
Ty Lee’s breath caught in her throat - how long had she known the Avatar? Met him, fought him, and even exchanged a few words with him in the heat of battle? She knew the young man, and this was not him. His aura pulsed dangerously, as if reaching out and touching every single person there, taking stock of their strengths and weaknesses, of who could beat who and calculating whom he might have to fight afterwards. It was like he could see right through Ty Lee’s aura and read every single one of her thoughts - nothing was hidden, nothing was sacred.
There was a terrible pressure surrounding her - her knees actually buckled - and then the Avatar blinked and his gaze moved away from her and back to the fight. Ty Lee swayed, and in an instant knew that Azula would never have a chance, once the waterbender was defeated.
***
Mai was being unnaturally quiet, which unnerved Zuko nearly as much as everything he had seen in the swamp thus far. Although, he quickly amended, she was usually very quiet and not the type to chatter, unlike some of the other females he’d spent time with - but this stony silence was the kind that put his already nervous mind even farther on edge, and his mind was racing as he filled in her thoughts for himself.
The most logical answer - to him, anyway - was that she no longer wanted to travel with him - he’d practically forced her, after that episode in the water, to continue going with him, and to what end? He had innocently thought that there was safety in numbers, but Mai’s mind was beyond the swamp - did she think he would throw her in jail? Force her to return to the Fire Nation with him? Use her as bait to capture Azula? If their positions had been reversed, there was no way Zuko would have wanted to be within a mile of her, let alone forced to travel with her.
“Look, Mai,” he said in a low tone, talking to her out of the corner of his mouth and rushing the words, slightly embarrassed to be saying them. “I understand if you want to split up, if you don’t want to be around me,”
He stopped himself when he got a good look at her face - she was just looking at him, blankly. There was no hidden anger in her expression, only mild puzzlement, as if she couldn’t quite comprehend where he was going with this.
Zuko realized that he’d made up all the signs of Mai’s anger in his own head - and that, if she decided suddenly that she no longer wanted to travel with him she wouldn’t follow him along passively and wait for her opportunity to escape; she’d wait until his back was turned and simply kill him and be on her way. She was armed, after all.
The swamp was still messing with his head, after all. They might have found physical safety in numbers, but the swamp’s ability to magnify his doubts and plant thoughts in his head remained as strong as ever. If he had succeeded in pushing Mai away - if she had reacted to him in anger instead of calmness - what would have happened to him, once they’d split up?
His eyes met hers, still a picture of bemusement. “We need to get out of here,” he said flatly.
Mai nodded in agreement and made to move around him. He caught her wrist just as she moved out of arm’s reach, and she turned around to look at him.
“When we get out of here, I’ll continue on to the Fire Nation. Alone,” he said firmly.
Even if Mai held no anger towards him, there still had to be some doubt in her mind as to her fate when she finally got out of the swamp. He wanted to reassure her, in some way, that he wouldn’t take advantage of the very loose partnership they’d been forced to establish when they’d gotten lost together.
She said nothing for a moment, her eyes burning into his as if waiting for him to finish - as if getting out of the swamp was such an unreachable, unfathomable goal that even mentioning plans outside of it was like telling some sort of fairy tale, and she was waiting for the ending.
Then her eyes dropped down to the ground - a noticeable tension lifted from Zuko’s shoulders - and she slipped a small, almost unnoticeable smile. “I’ll continue north like I was planning.”
Zuko did not miss the fact that she hadn’t said anything about Ty Lee and Azula, but did not want to press her. “Let’s go.”
Slowly, Zuko noticed a change in the swamp - the trees were not crowded so closely together and were growing thicker around the trunks. Water was taking up more of the area, with much of the trees’ branches and roots the only available dry passage. He moved with extreme caution, having absolutely no desire to soak himself yet again. Mai was giving the water suspicious, furtive glances out of the corner of her eye and Zuko resisted the urge to take an extra step forward and take her arm to steady her. She’d probably break his fingers off.
Suddenly in front of him Mai stiffened and cocked her head, listening carefully. “What’s wrong?” he asked, looking at her curiously.
“Don’t you hear-?” she cut herself off, taking a tentative step forward.
“Hear what?” he asked, echoing her movements and tilting his head forward.
She put up a finger to shush him, and just as she did so the stagnant water to his left shifted, as if it had suddenly found an outlet and developed a current. Zuko watched dumbly as it rushed away, following the shoreline until it disappeared through a tangle of branches and roots.
“Uhh…” he reached out to tap Mai’s shoulder and point out the rushing water, which she had either not noticed or was ignoring, but before he could touch her she took off, lightly running over the wet wood and soggy vines.
“Hey!” he called out, taking off, arms out as he tried to keep his balance and prevent himself from falling.
He caught up with her easily, pulling up behind her and reaching out and shoving her hard in the shoulder. “What are you doing?” Zuko nearly shouted when she slowed long enough to catch her balance.
“Don’t you hear that? Listen,” she snarled, gesturing an arm impatiently in the direction they were running towards.
“Hear-“ he cut himself off as the sound reached his ears; it was one he was so used to hearing that it rarely registered with him anymore.
It was the roar of fire being thrown, crackling through the air and hitting its target. However, there were only two other firebenders in the swamp besides himself, and the Avatar was notorious for falling upon his firebending only as a last resort.
“Azula,” he growled, picking up speed and leaving Mai behind. He broke through the brush easily, skidding to a stop when he reached the clearing and promptly slid across ice.
There, in the center of the swamp, his sister had found Katara - Zuko had actually forgotten that she was there in the swamp as well, and for a moment felt a rush of guilt - and the two were currently locked in a deathly struggle. Neither one seemed to be able to gain the upper hand - Azula’s face was flushed and sweat dripped down her forehead, but Katara was clearly distracted and wasn’t focusing entirely on the fight.
For a second he could only watch as the two exchanged blows before he was prompted to action. Azula sent a blue flame towards Katara, but before she could dodge it Zuko stepped confidently in front of the waterbender and easily absorbed the fire.
“Aren’t I the one you’re looking for, Azula?” he challenged.
***
A/N: Even though I classify this story as a Maiko, it’s more about companionship than a relationship - this isn’t an either/or choice to Mai; she likes both Azula and Zuko. It’s going to be slow going for them.
One of the reasons I love Avatar so much is for the very concept of the Avatar - someone who is reincarnated and in tune with the spirits raises some fantastic questions and some wonderful concepts to explore in fanfic. I love reincarnation fic with my entire soul, and it was something I definitely wanted to touch on when I started Shadows and want to explore more in the future - it makes me very sad that fandom in general has skimmed over these issues and decided to focus on who Katara is going to make out with instead. (Hey, I’m not saying I don’t do it was well, just that I’d love to see more people look at some of the bigger ideas that Avatar presents.)
Chapter 13: Casus Belli
Summary: Five years after the war is over, the world is finally settling into an uneasy peace. When the Avatar and his friends disappear into a swamp in the southwest Earth Kingdom, they find themselves fighting not only for their lives but to prevent another way from breaking out. Chapter Twelve: Katara confronts the intruder, Aang explores his surroundings, and Ty Lee starts to doubt.
Rating: Light T, for violence and blood.
A/N: I’m putting this up early instead of waiting for chapter 14 to be completed - this whole chapter practically wrote itself, it was so easy. I hardly made any revisions. And thus, the official beginning of the climax.
Chapter 12 - Dramatis Personae
With a gasp, Aang’s eyes snapped open. Shooting up, he looked around and tried to remember what had happened - he’d seen something moving in the trees, and had climbed up to look -
He caught sight of his hand out of the corner of his eye and looked down. Transparent and glowing blue. He’d fallen into the Spirit World somehow, without even trying. He knew he should have been concerned, but he’d long accepted that the swamp did weird things to him, so mostly he felt irritated. Hopping lightly on the branches, he made his way back down to the ground, wondering if his body had fallen and if Katara had been forced to heal any physical injuries -
He then caught sight of Katara - and his body. A strange noise left his lungs - not quiet a gasp, but a soft noise of dismay - as he watched the scene in front of him: his body, holding Katara by the arms against the tree, his head, dipped low to kiss her, and Katara’s eyes - wide open and panicked.
“Hey!” he cried, running over and trying to grab himself by the shoulder - it didn’t work, of course, since he was in the spirit world, but it seemed to catch the attention of whatever was controlling his body because it pulled away from Katara and tilted it’s head towards Aang, as if it could hear him.
“Do you mind?” he asked angrily, crossing his arms impatiently. His thoughts, instead of worrying about why a spirit had taken his body - something that had never happened before without his permission - were centered on how he was going to explain this whole incident to Katara, who was already in a bad state and looking even more horrified by the moment.
The spirit in his body chuckled at him - a deep, throaty laugh that he was sure he’d never made before - and let go of Katara, who sagged against the tree.
“It’s all mine now,” he said quietly before reaching out and flicking Aang right in the center of the arrow on his forehead. The force of it, however, was if he’d thrown all his body weight into it and Aang went flying, passing easily through the trunks of several trees before landing hard with an “ooph!” in the middle of a small clearing, nearly grown over with roots and tall grass. For a moment he lay there, blinking dazedly up into the brush, and wondered exactly what had happened and who was in his body.
And then he recalled, very vividly and clearly, that whoever was in his body was alone with Katara - and had already taken advantage of that fact once before. A heavy weight settled in his chest, that emotion he was so familiar with crawling through him like a blush. Even the most rational part of his mind felt the responsibility; the remorse for not seeing it coming; the guilt for letting it happen whether or not he was in control of the situation.
He sat up and once again took in his surroundings. It was a small clearing, full of tall yellow grass, and other dying plants. It was surrounded by a ring of black trees; nearly impenetrable, they grew so close together. Aang stood up and brushed himself off, putting a hand up to the tree closest to him and found that it was solid to him; passing through would be impossible. The grass was bent and broken, tracing jagged circling lines around the clearing, as if someone had paced through there, constantly. It was so quiet that the silence rang in Aang’s ears - there was no one around to help him.
Something glinted out of the corner of his eye. Aang looked up and realized he could see the sky again - it was painted a dark orange, and scarlet clouds floated gently through it, something that could have almost been seen as tranquil if not for the disturbing colors. Tearing his eyes from the sky, he turned and frowned, eyebrows creasing in confusion.
There, in the middle of the clearing, sat a tarnished gold throne. He walked towards it as if it were about to explode, unsure of its purpose. There was worn scarlet velvet coating the back and seat, and the when he reached out and ran his fingers over the back it was cool to the touch, despite the heavy, warm air. There were claw and scratch marks all over the arms, which were sculpted into the curled paws of a boar-lion. It was a quality piece of furniture that had clearly gone through years of use.
It was almost magnetic - Aang couldn’t tear his attention away from it despite the fact that he had far greater things to worry about; he needed to find a way out of there and get his body back; he needed to get back to protect Katara; he needed to find Sokka and Toph and Zuko; he needed to find a way out of the swamp - all of these fell to the back of his mind as he studied the throne. Deep in the recesses of his subconscious something pulled and tugged, some stray thought that was not entirely his threatened to break free and make itself known and explain what this throne was - and why it almost seemed familiar to him.
“What is this place?” he asked himself softly, hands reaching out and running along the curved edge of the back of the throne.
So intense was his focus that he didn’t realize that he’d spoken out loud, and therefore nearly jumped ten feet into the air when he received a response: “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll tell you about it?”
***
Iroh was eating lunch alone when he felt it, like the rolling grey clouds that signaled the approaching storm.
He was so startled he spilled his tea.
The servants busy clearing the rest of the table stopped and gawked at him openly.
He coughed in embarrassment and waved off their concern. “I’m fine! I’m feeling fine - these old hands aren’t as steady as they used to be.” Excusing himself, he stood up and announced that he was returning to his office to get a head start on work.
Halfway out the door he stopped, turned, and kindly asked that another pot of ginseng tea be sent to his office. The servants, too unnerved to press him further, scrambled to fill his request.
The atmosphere itself seemed heavier than it had moments ago, and instead of going into his office Iroh found himself going down the twisting and turning hallways to reach the small room that only Zuko and the maids ever really took notice of. Pulling the heavy metal door open, he slipped inside the room, blinking in the glaring sun.
The room, specifically placed to face the east, was Lord Zuko’s private mediation room - his own temple to Agni. Zuko had designed it himself, with floor to ceiling stained glass windows and a small alter at the center with an ever-burning flame.
In times of stress or unease Zuko had been known to hole himself up in here for hours - Iroh recalled how he’d been unsure about attending the conference in Ba Sing Se and had found guidance and comfort here in the temple.
Closing his eyes, Iroh dropped to his knees and exhaled, the four candles lining the front of the alter springing to life as he did so. The feeling of unease in his stomach grew, even as he murmured a prayer to Agni, something as well known and comforting to him as a childhood blanket.
His connection with the spirit world being what it was, he knew instantly that something had happened to upset the balance between the worlds - the political situation being what it was, it was obvious that the Avatar and his nephew were at the center of it.
What though - what could possibly upset the balance that badly? That quickly? It had come out of nowhere, rolling across the world like a shock wave after something impacted the earth.
In his ears he could hear the cracking of fire, snapping loudly all around him. Opening his eyes, he saw red and orange flames surrounding him, engulfing the room, licking at his arms and up his back. He frowned at the flames and reached out, cupping them in his hands as if they were a drink of water, and staring into them. They flared for a moment before turning blue and there was a flash of pain in his palm before he dropped them and looked around, watching in wonder as a ring of blue fire sprang up around the edge of the orange fire and started to overtake the orange flame and close in on Iroh, moving towards the center.
Iroh’s head tilted back, and above him the night sky sprawled out, black and endless. Despite the fact that they were due for a full moon there was neither pale light nor shining orb, only the millions upon millions of white stars that graced the sky, reaching far beyond the horizon and beyond Iroh’s sight, each with it’s own place and it’s own shine, impossible to count but easily distinct from one another.
Once, early in his travels with the young Avatar, Iroh had been training privately late one night, trying to teach the Avatar how to fight around the disadvantage he had as a firebender at night. Aang could focus when he had to, but this particular night he’d kept getting distracted, and finally Iroh had broken stance to ask him about it.
“Monk Gyatso told me once, right after I found out I was Avatar-“ Aang cut himself off, shoulders sagging for a moment, then turned to Iroh and asked, almost hopefully, “Why do you think there’re stars up there in the sky?”
“Agni,” Iroh answered at once. Aang’s face drew a question mark, and Iroh continued, “The stars are Agni’s eternally burning flames, placed in the night sky to guide the firebenders when his sun cannot give them strength.”
Aang had nodded, musing on this. The anxiousness hadn’t seened to leave his spirit, however, and Iroh had gently prodded, “What did Monk Gyatso tell you?”
“Right after the monks told me I was the Avatar, and I was afraid and Gyatso wanted to comfort me, he told me that the stars were all the Avatars in history, looking down on me.” He had paused for a long moment before confessing, “It just upset me even more.”
“And why is that?”
“Because no matter how high I flew,” Aang said faintly, “No matter how hard I tried, I could never reach the stars. They always seemed so far away.” He had turned and looked Iroh right in the eyes, and for a dark, terrible moment Iroh had seen, laid bare, the incredible burden that the young man had been forced to take on and how very alone he sometimes felt.
This memory was in the back of Iroh’s mind when from the east rose an unholy light, a column of white that broke into the night sky, forcing Iroh to look away as colored dots danced in front of his eyes.
This beacon called out, and the stars answered, moving from the night sky as if pulled towards the light. Iroh’s jaw dropped as millions of flying stars, too fast to even catch with the bare eye, passed over him, shooting towards their destination with a single-minded goal. The column of light grew larger but still the stars continued to come.
Heat crawled up his arms and chest - the blue flames had reached the center and were now engulfing Iroh, the fire crawling up his body. He could feel the heat on his neck now, sweat pouring down his face, but the light drew his attention again as it finally exploded, filling the entire world with a blindingly intense white light. Iroh threw his arm up over his eyes -
And with a gasp came to, eyes snapping open and taking in his surroundings. The candles on the alter were burned low, the red wax dripping off the table and down the edge of the black marble, reminding Iroh disturbingly of dripping blood. He stood up, knee joints popping, and gave a sigh of relief. He’d fallen asleep meditating - a terrible habit Zuko always railed at him for, especially when he started snoring and disrupted the services - and had dreamed a terrible nightmare. He was completely unharmed -
Except for the dark red blister forming in the palm of his hand, the result of a terrible burn.
***
Her legs weren’t working. They were simply overwhelmed and could no longer go on walking, let alone carrying her weight. Katara remained slumped against the trunk of the tree in the center of the swamp, staring dumbly down at her non-working legs and wondering, exactly, what had just happened and who was controlling Aang.
Whatever had momentarily stolen his attention was gone, and he turned his piercing gaze back to her. She nearly flinched; the look in his eyes was almost cruel with wide-eyed wonderment - the same look she had witnessed on Aang’s face during new experiences countless times before.
“Wh-Who are you?” she asked again, fear making her voice watery and brash at the same time.
He blinked and looked thoughtful. “I no longer remember my name. I forgot it a long time ago.” Then he turned away from her again, staring off through the trees as if searching for something.
She should have been trying to run away, trying to get out of there, trying to help somehow, but her legs still wouldn’t work, heavy and useless as she leaned against the tree and tried to catch her breath.
“It would be useless, you know,” he interjected suddenly, interrupting her panicked thoughts.
“Wha…?”
He came over to her and grabbed her by the forearms, easily hauling her up and putting her right on her feet. Instantly her knees began to shake, and she grabbed at the trunk for support before she fell again.
“Trying to get out of here without me. I’m the only one alive who knows how to get out of here - running away will only get you tangled even farther in the swamp, and with my pet running loose as well…” He trailed off, peering through the trees, as if wondering exactly where his pet had got to.
“Of course,” he continued, almost conversationally, “that’s if I decide to take you with me - You would certainly be an asset to me, since I’m not sure where the right one is, but I might not-“ He turned to look at her again, eyes burning with anger. “How would you like to be trapped her for hundreds of years, like I was? Your Avatar is trapped here - would you prefer to stay with him?”
“Why are you doing this?” she breathed, some strength finally returning to her limbs. “Aang never - he’s innocent-“
A sharp laugh rang out from the spirit - Katara shuddered at the unfamiliar noise - and he wheeled around to face her, the familiar body she knew so well so close to her own. “Innocent? Aang is not innocent.”
“He is-“ Katara started to insist, but she was cut off.
“Was he so innocent when he murdered the Fire Lord?” the spirit challenged.
Katara’s jaw dropped. “That’s completely - that wasn’t murder!” she spat. “That was-“
“You can justify it all you want - it’s what the Avatar has done all through history. Don’t you understand? It’s impossible to be innocent as the Avatar - you inherit not only the burden of the world but the sins of the past lives as well.” His eyes flashed dangerously. “And I promise you, no Avatar in history is innocent, but some far less so than others.” He drew even closer to her. “So the Avatar who slew Chin the Great? Aang. The Avatar who broke all the laws of the spirit world to cut down Koh? Aang. The Avatar who enabled Sozin’s war? Aang. The Avatar who imprisoned me in this swamp? They were all Aang.”
Katara was speechless. “You can’t blame - it’s not Aang-“
“Don’t you understand?” he snapped, his patience wearing thin. “It’s the law of the universe - the law of balance. What goes around comes around. Sins committed must be atoned for.”
“Is that who you are? The one who passes judgment?” Katara asked, feeling a shot of defensive anger on Aang’s behalf go through her.
He shrugged, turning away from her again and continuing his way around the tree. “The Avatar has been exempt from judgment for lifetimes. I may not be the one who is designated to pass judgment, but I have waited for hundreds of years to regain a physical body, and therefore I am merely filling my part in the law of balance by taking that of the Avatar’s.”
Terrible, righteous fury rose inside her, and for a moment she was so angry that she wanted to harm Aang’s body if it meant harming the awful creature who had taken it, but the moment she moved to fumble with her waterskin he lifted one of his hands and barely twitched; the waterskin at her side exploded.
“Are you forgetting,” he asked, voice low, not bothering to look back at her, “that you have taught me everything you know? You couldn’t hope to beat me.”
She’d lost her breath again. Panting slowly, eyes burning with unshed tears, limbs trembling with pent up fury, her hands stayed at her side, still in her stance, wondering what move to make next.
The stalemate was broken by a dull roar and a plume of blue flame that just barely caught at the hem of Katara’s sleeve. She wheeled away, her heart thundering in her throat.
“Maybe they split up,” she’d suggested earlier in the day, when Aang had wondered why she’d run into Mai but not Azula or Ty Lee.
She’d been partly right, she realized vaguely as the former princess advanced on her, taking no notice of the Avatar, her eyes glittering like a wolf that had cornered its prey. They had split up, but they were all still in the swamp.
***
She was letting her mind wander again, traveling back to the Water Tribe warrior and the blind girl, wondering vaguely where they were and if they were making it out all right. Despite her hostile attitude towards Ty Lee, the acrobat was actually slightly worried about her - Ty Lee had heard Toph muttering and tossing and turning in her little rock tent before she had heard Azula coming and left them behind.
How close Azula had come to them was nearly frightening - it had taken all of her power of persuasion to slowly push Azula slightly east - without arousing her suspicion - in order to avoid Sokka and Toph. The last thing Ty Lee wanted was to get into a fight with them.
Azula chose that moment to let out a bark of surprise and take off with absolutely no word of warning to Ty Lee. She jumped in surprise, just staring blankly at Azula’s running form for a moment before sighing, no longer surprised by her friend’s actions, and taking off, jogging lightly to keep her in sight but not attempting to catch up.
Azula had always been determined and stubborn to a fault - the fact that she had managed to spend five years in exile and still keep the air of a demanding princess about her was merely proof of that. She’d always been able to be loyal to everyone and no one at the same time, and Ty Lee had long suspected that the people Azula trusted most were neither her father nor any of her teachers but herself and Mai - and Agni certainly knew that Ty Lee and Mai had proved their loyalty to Azula, given everything they had gone through after the war.
Mai was sometimes in denial about it, for it was a thankless role they fulfilled, to keep the haughty princess Azula self-assured and confident. For the longest time Ty Lee had accepted it, sure that in the end it was worth it, to have Azula’s companionship and friendship - what passed for friendship with Azula, anyway. It was a choice Ty Lee had made willingly, enthusiastically.
For the first time in the years they’d known each other, Ty Lee was starting to doubt Azula. Not even at the very lowest point of her life, in those hellish weeks when they’d first been exiled, had Ty Lee doubted Azula’s ability to rise above it all, but ever since she’d received word about Zuko traveling to the Earth Kingdom, Azula had edged closer and closer to a dangerous precipice. And now, lost in this forsaken place with the sudden attacks from nowhere and the face-to-face meeting with her target itself, Azula was too confident, too focused, too brash and far too reckless, pushing beyond her limits to reach a goal that probably wasn’t even feasible at this point in time.
The furthest thought in her mind was of abandoning Azula, but Ty Lee couldn’t help wondering what, exactly, the outcome of this whole ordeal would be and how it was going to affect both Azula and herself.
She heard the distinct roar of Azula’s flame and picked up her pace, sure she was going to come upon the inevitable rematch between Zuko and Azula -
And was surprised when the blue light that flashed before her came not from Azula but from the warrior’s sister, the waterbender girl.
For a moment all she could do was gawk before looking around frantically to see if she was alone or if she had managed to meet up with Sokka and Toph again -
Then the same feeling of being watched - the one that had unnerved her so badly the night they had camped outside of the swamp - crawled up her spine to settle in her chest. Heart pounding, she looked around to meet the piercing gaze of the Avatar himself, standing straight and tall, hidden half behind the tree, staring right at her and not at all concerned with the deadly fight his lover was caught up in.
Ty Lee’s breath caught in her throat - how long had she known the Avatar? Met him, fought him, and even exchanged a few words with him in the heat of battle? She knew the young man, and this was not him. His aura pulsed dangerously, as if reaching out and touching every single person there, taking stock of their strengths and weaknesses, of who could beat who and calculating whom he might have to fight afterwards. It was like he could see right through Ty Lee’s aura and read every single one of her thoughts - nothing was hidden, nothing was sacred.
There was a terrible pressure surrounding her - her knees actually buckled - and then the Avatar blinked and his gaze moved away from her and back to the fight. Ty Lee swayed, and in an instant knew that Azula would never have a chance, once the waterbender was defeated.
***
Mai was being unnaturally quiet, which unnerved Zuko nearly as much as everything he had seen in the swamp thus far. Although, he quickly amended, she was usually very quiet and not the type to chatter, unlike some of the other females he’d spent time with - but this stony silence was the kind that put his already nervous mind even farther on edge, and his mind was racing as he filled in her thoughts for himself.
The most logical answer - to him, anyway - was that she no longer wanted to travel with him - he’d practically forced her, after that episode in the water, to continue going with him, and to what end? He had innocently thought that there was safety in numbers, but Mai’s mind was beyond the swamp - did she think he would throw her in jail? Force her to return to the Fire Nation with him? Use her as bait to capture Azula? If their positions had been reversed, there was no way Zuko would have wanted to be within a mile of her, let alone forced to travel with her.
“Look, Mai,” he said in a low tone, talking to her out of the corner of his mouth and rushing the words, slightly embarrassed to be saying them. “I understand if you want to split up, if you don’t want to be around me,”
He stopped himself when he got a good look at her face - she was just looking at him, blankly. There was no hidden anger in her expression, only mild puzzlement, as if she couldn’t quite comprehend where he was going with this.
Zuko realized that he’d made up all the signs of Mai’s anger in his own head - and that, if she decided suddenly that she no longer wanted to travel with him she wouldn’t follow him along passively and wait for her opportunity to escape; she’d wait until his back was turned and simply kill him and be on her way. She was armed, after all.
The swamp was still messing with his head, after all. They might have found physical safety in numbers, but the swamp’s ability to magnify his doubts and plant thoughts in his head remained as strong as ever. If he had succeeded in pushing Mai away - if she had reacted to him in anger instead of calmness - what would have happened to him, once they’d split up?
His eyes met hers, still a picture of bemusement. “We need to get out of here,” he said flatly.
Mai nodded in agreement and made to move around him. He caught her wrist just as she moved out of arm’s reach, and she turned around to look at him.
“When we get out of here, I’ll continue on to the Fire Nation. Alone,” he said firmly.
Even if Mai held no anger towards him, there still had to be some doubt in her mind as to her fate when she finally got out of the swamp. He wanted to reassure her, in some way, that he wouldn’t take advantage of the very loose partnership they’d been forced to establish when they’d gotten lost together.
She said nothing for a moment, her eyes burning into his as if waiting for him to finish - as if getting out of the swamp was such an unreachable, unfathomable goal that even mentioning plans outside of it was like telling some sort of fairy tale, and she was waiting for the ending.
Then her eyes dropped down to the ground - a noticeable tension lifted from Zuko’s shoulders - and she slipped a small, almost unnoticeable smile. “I’ll continue north like I was planning.”
Zuko did not miss the fact that she hadn’t said anything about Ty Lee and Azula, but did not want to press her. “Let’s go.”
Slowly, Zuko noticed a change in the swamp - the trees were not crowded so closely together and were growing thicker around the trunks. Water was taking up more of the area, with much of the trees’ branches and roots the only available dry passage. He moved with extreme caution, having absolutely no desire to soak himself yet again. Mai was giving the water suspicious, furtive glances out of the corner of her eye and Zuko resisted the urge to take an extra step forward and take her arm to steady her. She’d probably break his fingers off.
Suddenly in front of him Mai stiffened and cocked her head, listening carefully. “What’s wrong?” he asked, looking at her curiously.
“Don’t you hear-?” she cut herself off, taking a tentative step forward.
“Hear what?” he asked, echoing her movements and tilting his head forward.
She put up a finger to shush him, and just as she did so the stagnant water to his left shifted, as if it had suddenly found an outlet and developed a current. Zuko watched dumbly as it rushed away, following the shoreline until it disappeared through a tangle of branches and roots.
“Uhh…” he reached out to tap Mai’s shoulder and point out the rushing water, which she had either not noticed or was ignoring, but before he could touch her she took off, lightly running over the wet wood and soggy vines.
“Hey!” he called out, taking off, arms out as he tried to keep his balance and prevent himself from falling.
He caught up with her easily, pulling up behind her and reaching out and shoving her hard in the shoulder. “What are you doing?” Zuko nearly shouted when she slowed long enough to catch her balance.
“Don’t you hear that? Listen,” she snarled, gesturing an arm impatiently in the direction they were running towards.
“Hear-“ he cut himself off as the sound reached his ears; it was one he was so used to hearing that it rarely registered with him anymore.
It was the roar of fire being thrown, crackling through the air and hitting its target. However, there were only two other firebenders in the swamp besides himself, and the Avatar was notorious for falling upon his firebending only as a last resort.
“Azula,” he growled, picking up speed and leaving Mai behind. He broke through the brush easily, skidding to a stop when he reached the clearing and promptly slid across ice.
There, in the center of the swamp, his sister had found Katara - Zuko had actually forgotten that she was there in the swamp as well, and for a moment felt a rush of guilt - and the two were currently locked in a deathly struggle. Neither one seemed to be able to gain the upper hand - Azula’s face was flushed and sweat dripped down her forehead, but Katara was clearly distracted and wasn’t focusing entirely on the fight.
For a second he could only watch as the two exchanged blows before he was prompted to action. Azula sent a blue flame towards Katara, but before she could dodge it Zuko stepped confidently in front of the waterbender and easily absorbed the fire.
“Aren’t I the one you’re looking for, Azula?” he challenged.
***
A/N: Even though I classify this story as a Maiko, it’s more about companionship than a relationship - this isn’t an either/or choice to Mai; she likes both Azula and Zuko. It’s going to be slow going for them.
One of the reasons I love Avatar so much is for the very concept of the Avatar - someone who is reincarnated and in tune with the spirits raises some fantastic questions and some wonderful concepts to explore in fanfic. I love reincarnation fic with my entire soul, and it was something I definitely wanted to touch on when I started Shadows and want to explore more in the future - it makes me very sad that fandom in general has skimmed over these issues and decided to focus on who Katara is going to make out with instead. (Hey, I’m not saying I don’t do it was well, just that I’d love to see more people look at some of the bigger ideas that Avatar presents.)
Chapter 13: Casus Belli