My FMA Predictions
OMG okay you guys so I took my first set of mock boards this morning and HOLY SHIT I WILL NEVER PASS MY BOARDS NOT EVER OMG I WILL TOIL IN UNEMPLOYMENT WITH A VARIETY OF TRIVIAL ANATOMICAL KNOWLEDGE FOREVER OMG.
So now I have all of my Christmas break to worry about that. Lovely.
It kind of did not help that I spent all night and morning worrying about FMA. BUT, I think I've come up with some solutions
OKAY, so our favorite Colonel has been blinding by the Gate. This was a rather distressing development HOWEVER, I submit that it will not be permanent, and here are the various solutions that I have fanwanked:
1. Roy's eyesight will be able to be restored, because, unlike Ed and Al and Izumi, he wasn't actually seeking true knowledge! Kind of a cop out, but Hohenheim should be able to restore Roy's eyesight!
1a. Okay, so Roy's eyes truly are lost to the Gate, but much like he did for Izumi Hohenheim will be able to help! Instead of eyesight, Roy will gain the ability to shoot lasers out of his eyes a la Cyclops, which, as we all know, is fuckin' badass. Fandom will descend into it's bitterest debates yet over which is sexier, Anime!Eyepatch!Roy or Manga!RubySunglasses!Roy.
2. Roy had experience using his hands as tools for alchemy! Using some sort of alchemical array, Roy either wears gloves (or we can go a step further and say he pulls a Kimbley) and MUCH LIKE TOPH IN AVATAR, Roy's hands are now his eyes! He still cannot bend metal, however, because we all know Roy is a firebender, and fandom goes insane deciding if Roy will canonically hook up with Katara or Ed.
3. Riza Hawkeye (get it? get it?) suddenly develops an interest in alchemy, attempts human transmutation to bring Roy back (wait, am I killing Roy in this solution or does just being a human sacrifice count?), and uses Havoc's useless legs as a trade to restore Roy's eyes. Havoc can then get automail, and can walk again! Fandom madly debates whether Havoc has an automail penis and if Ed or Havoc is the sexier bilateral amputee. Porn is inevitably written with the kink Phantom Limb Syndrome.
4. Upon returning from the Gate, Winry announces that while holed up in Granny's basement she has developed automail eyes! Roy receives her first prototype, his eyesight is miraculously restored, and Winry is the hero! Fandom instantly realizes exactly how cool Winry is, exactly how lame they are for not respecting her properly, and invite her to join in on all the Ed/Roy sexing! Because that's an OT3 that would be hot.
4a. Riza can either join in and make it a free for all, or she can hook up with Al, who we all know is gonna be hot someday, OR she can hook up with Rebecca, on account of girlkissing is hot.
ONE OF THESE SCENARIOS WILL HAPPEN. I'M CALLING IT NOW.
Do I really need to put in a disclaimer about not taking me seriously? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS, I'M GOING TO BE SO MAD IF ANY OF YOU TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.*
*Unless one of these predictions DOES come true in which case I CALLED IT I CALLED IT HAHA I CALLED IT.
So now I have all of my Christmas break to worry about that. Lovely.
It kind of did not help that I spent all night and morning worrying about FMA. BUT, I think I've come up with some solutions
OKAY, so our favorite Colonel has been blinding by the Gate. This was a rather distressing development HOWEVER, I submit that it will not be permanent, and here are the various solutions that I have fanwanked:
1. Roy's eyesight will be able to be restored, because, unlike Ed and Al and Izumi, he wasn't actually seeking true knowledge! Kind of a cop out, but Hohenheim should be able to restore Roy's eyesight!
1a. Okay, so Roy's eyes truly are lost to the Gate, but much like he did for Izumi Hohenheim will be able to help! Instead of eyesight, Roy will gain the ability to shoot lasers out of his eyes a la Cyclops, which, as we all know, is fuckin' badass. Fandom will descend into it's bitterest debates yet over which is sexier, Anime!Eyepatch!Roy or Manga!RubySunglasses!Roy.
2. Roy had experience using his hands as tools for alchemy! Using some sort of alchemical array, Roy either wears gloves (or we can go a step further and say he pulls a Kimbley) and MUCH LIKE TOPH IN AVATAR, Roy's hands are now his eyes! He still cannot bend metal, however, because we all know Roy is a firebender, and fandom goes insane deciding if Roy will canonically hook up with Katara or Ed.
3. Riza Hawkeye (get it? get it?) suddenly develops an interest in alchemy, attempts human transmutation to bring Roy back (wait, am I killing Roy in this solution or does just being a human sacrifice count?), and uses Havoc's useless legs as a trade to restore Roy's eyes. Havoc can then get automail, and can walk again! Fandom madly debates whether Havoc has an automail penis and if Ed or Havoc is the sexier bilateral amputee. Porn is inevitably written with the kink Phantom Limb Syndrome.
4. Upon returning from the Gate, Winry announces that while holed up in Granny's basement she has developed automail eyes! Roy receives her first prototype, his eyesight is miraculously restored, and Winry is the hero! Fandom instantly realizes exactly how cool Winry is, exactly how lame they are for not respecting her properly, and invite her to join in on all the Ed/Roy sexing! Because that's an OT3 that would be hot.
4a. Riza can either join in and make it a free for all, or she can hook up with Al, who we all know is gonna be hot someday, OR she can hook up with Rebecca, on account of girlkissing is hot.
ONE OF THESE SCENARIOS WILL HAPPEN. I'M CALLING IT NOW.
Do I really need to put in a disclaimer about not taking me seriously? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS, I'M GOING TO BE SO MAD IF ANY OF YOU TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.*
*Unless one of these predictions DOES come true in which case I CALLED IT I CALLED IT HAHA I CALLED IT.