Day 28
For the last five days, I was in Chicago attending Wizard World Comic Con. They are a great example of how to run a con. It was a fun, lively and entertaining experience. No real gripes. FanExpo needs to take notes and then act on them.
The reason for the trip to begin with was to meet Sebastian Stan (Winter Soldier, Jefferson/Mad Hatter, etc.), however, he cancelled because of filming in Ireland at the same time. I posted earlier just how upsetting this was for me simply because of the timing: it was the day after I had to put Eddie down. My emotions were completely uncontrollable and the loss of Stan at the con was essentially the icing on the s**tcake. But, I'd paid for the flight and had convinced a friend to join me so I wasn't going to abandon her.
Going into the con, I was a mixed bag of emotions. squidgiepdx argued that I needed to go just to get out of my head for a while and he was right. It was difficult, though, to be excited on the first day out. The ridiculously early flight I'm sure didn't help. However, I perservered.
I've been to Chicago a number of times for Creation's Stargate Cons and enjoy visiting it. It has a wonderful energy and the waterfront has some great attractions. At least I had a positive about the city itself going into the trip.
We ended up in a hotel across the street from the con with a bridge walkway to the convention centre. Good thing because there were some rainy days. I'd not been to this part of town so it was nice to see some different sights. MB Financial Park is nice for restaurants and twice a week in the summer they hold outdoor concerts finishing with a fireworks display. There was enough to keep my mind off Eddie and to start to enjoy myself.
After picking up our tickets on Thursday, being reminded again that Stan was a no-show (not blaming him), we toured the convention and I managed to pick up the Pop figures of Black Panther unmasked and Civil War Falcon that I'd been searching for. Scored a comic book in trade paperback and some original artwork. The highlight, though, was getting my picture with Captain America's actual movie shield from The First Avenger. I could hardly contain my excitement!
After, I stood in line for a photo with Ralph Macchio (Johnny from the Outsiders, the Karate Kid, Wax On/F**k Off) and it was nice. I later had him sign it.
The second day was similar, but I had a photo and autograph with Christian Kane. He does not take good photos, but he was lovely to see in person. That basically ended any reason for me to be at the con.
What I noticed, though, were the number of cosplayers. They were everywhere! I loved it. I simply marvelled at how creative and clever some of them were. Just amazing stuff. I was taking pictures all over the place. Saturday was even better as that was the largest crowd day. It was also the day that I met some cosplayers who took me under their wing. They, too, had come for Stan so we had an immediately connection. They were also the first ones to recognise me cosplaying Sharon Carter from Civil War so of course I liked them :)
Saturday night was the after party and I partied. I really did dance like no one was watchiing. I just didn't care and it was such a freeing experience. It was also a great workout.
Sunday was the last day and I basically hung out with the Stan fan cosplayers. I did see Macchio's Q&A and even asked a question about his best memory of The Outsiders.
By the end, I didn't want to leave. I was getting to know these cosplayers and liking them very much. Admittedly, the Bucky player was my initial draw because 1) it's Bucky and 2) he was impressed with my cosplay (ego says "YES!"). But we also had common interests in music and photography. But all things end and I said my goodbyes. It was tough.
Tougher still was coming home. As I mentioned before, I've only ever lived in my house with Eddie. Every time I went away, either my Dad took care of him or he boarded at the vet's office (who loved him) so I would have to go and pick him up. That is no longer necessary and it was a shock to the system. The house felt wrong.
Spamming my Instagram account ended up being my coping mechanism (with a side whine on twitter, right Squidgie?). I posted all kinds of cosplay pics I had taken and then pics of stuff I picked up. I'll tell you, it's quite the confidence boost to see bunches of likes for those pictures.
In other words, though it was a great con, I feel like survived an earthquake: rocking foundations and aftershocks that pop up when you least expect it. Today has been tough. There were times when I questioned the point of any/everything and then alternated to planning out a new cosplay to try (skinny Steve?).
Basically, I don't know if I'm moving forward or sort of circling. School is coming up after Labour Day and I need to start planning that. Fan Expo is next week and I'm bracing myself for that utter chaos (why, Hayley Atwell, are you tormenting me by coming back this year - on the frigging worst day: Saturday?). Stan Lee will also be there and a couple of comic artist who I would like to sign my books. Is looking to the future a good sign? Or is it a distraction from dealing with the problems of now?
I miss you, Eddie. I love you. Be a good boy, okay?