(no subject)
oh my god oh my god oh my god I can't sleep. As in, every night around 11 or 12, which is pretty early I guess, I start to feel way exhausted and like it's time to go to bed, around 1 or 2 I realize I have either woken up or have just been lying in bed awake this whole time, get upset, maybe make phone calls, draw or make music a little bit but mostly read until around 4 or 5, then I wake up around 8, still very tired and unhappy to be awake. I get out of bed around 9, eat something and am maybe a little bit productive until around 11, when I realize oh my god I'm still so so tired and try to take a nap and it doesn't work. This seems to have been going on, and getting worse and worse, I think since around whenever I moved into this house, I guess that was the beginning of june? no, it was the middle of may. And i feel totally shot, physically and mentally, barely capable of doing anything except drawing this one really elaborate picture for butthole magazine, (which is almost done and going to be amazing). This is really really frustrating. And I need a job. and it's hard to get a job when you can barely think and have no physical energy. I mean I guess I need to try sleeping pills but i want to be able to function, right now, I want my body to work right.