Energy.

[arshes_nei_2005]

This morning is proving to be be a lot calmer than last night.  Not only did I manage to get some real sleep, but I've also somehow made it to a point where I can feel calm again.  I suppose it is mostly the fact that I slept well, even despite the fact that I woke up once in the night and didn't make it back to sleep for about an hour.  I feel

Comments

[anonymous]

I had an incident regarding energy worth this week. My mother was hurting and trying to go to sleep one day this week, but she hurt her shoulder while making pies. She wanted me to put my hands on her shoulder. When I told her I didn't have the energy to do that and I was going to bed, I thought she went to sleep. Instead, she held it against me, saying I was rude to her. Ultimately, I explained that it must have been a misunderstanding and I wouldn't have left her in her own bed knowing she was upset and/or in pain.

The next day her own energy was very defensive and she was also verbally defensive. I didn't do anything wrong... Then, that night, I put my hands on her shoulder and sent energy into it. It worked well and she felt well enough to go shopping. She was thankful and wanted more before she went to bed.

I weighed the fact that I was tired and the fact that she needed healing in my mind. I thought on the fact that she was angry at me not a day earlier because I refused to help her. I thought on the fact that she believes she's failed me as a mother (I guess you've really figured out who I am by now) when it came to spirituality. I thought on the fact that I knew I might have backlash doing more energy work before bed and after a very full day. I was familiar enough with my energies and hers to know that I was doing the right thing when I helped her to sleep last night. However, I slept 11 hours that night and had an hour nap as well. I believe you are correct. I must know my energy level...and I believe I haven't been working with it enough lately. But, I believe I did the right thing even though I wanted, at least some of me wanted, to say no. Just to say no because I wanted to cut her out of all of my spiritual practices. But, a healer must judge those they heal as a patient. Not based on emotional passions. It keeps a balance. Peace be A.C.

[arshes_nei_2005]

Oh, dear, I knew who you were by the second sentence. It's all right, though; I can totally understand why you would feel the need to respond to this anonymous, and I respect that.

It's a hard thing for a healer to say "no" to someone in pain. The fact that this incident involved your mother and brought misunderstandings to the surface that have been simmering for some time makes it even worse.

It's also difficult because you have the twin dilemmas of her demonstrated trust in your healing capacity and her lack of understanding of your spiritual pursuits. It's possible that, were you to explain the potential for backlash to her, she would understand; but on the other hand, it's also possible that she would think you were making excuses for yourself, not realizing that backlash is a very real and debilitating thing.

We must be aware of so much when we enter a healing, not the least of which is what we have available to ourselves and to our patients. It can be a very complicated thing even when the person we are healing is someone we love very much -- and perhaps especially then, as we have so much invested in the relationship that it becomes that much more difficult to decide whether to risk backlash on ourselves for the sake of helping them.

*hugs you* We'll talk more soon, I promise.