The Comics Curmudgeon, Supes, and Spidey
Several months ago I discovered and began reading the Comics Curmudgeon, which I recommend anybody reading this check out. While Josh Fruhlinger mainly mocks stupid newspaper comics, I found out through his blog about a certain Superman story from last year I didn't know about, and I'm good and perplexed. (All the blue text below is what Josh wrote. btw.)
http://joshreads.com/?p=14829
In accordance with Funky Winkerbean’s long tradition of making unbearably big deals out of low-level life problems, Mopey Pete the comics artist is behind deadline on the Superman book he’s working on, which is being portrayed metaphorically by him being bedeviled by a sinister supervillain called “The Lord of Late.” This was easy enough to ignore until today, when it was revealed that Mopey Pete is writing a series about Superman walking across America. Does Mopey Pete not know that Superman can fly?? Then I found out that this was actually a real thing, which just made me madder. Does DC Comics not know that Superman can fly??
Here's what somebody can hopefully explain to me: why NOT fly?
I get that if he just flew from one coast to the other, he wouldn't interact with anybody and it would defeat the purpose of the trip, but I'm not suggesting Supes do that.
Instead, he could fly over stretches of deserted wilderness or highway (while there are people on the highway, none of them would take kindly to Superman knocking on their windows and asking if they wanted to chat, because while that's not something that happens to them every day and it might make a good anecdote they are still in a hurry), and then land when he reaches a residential area. Then he could walk around and talk to people to his heart's content. Finally, when he was all done, he could fly off again and land at the next string of houses or big city or whatever.
I don't see why he would decide not to do any flying at all.
Speaking of superheroes: while the newspaper comic strip version of Spidey is at least still married to Mary Jane, he is sometimes kind of pitiful.
http://joshreads.com/?p=721
Oh, wow. I for one have longed to refer to Spidey as a “costumed cretin” for some time. And to do it in an effete, slightly English accent. And to bash in the back of his head with a lead pipe. This has got to be the most satisfying Spider-Man ever.
In fact, this installment so pleased me that for a minute I failed to grasp its import. Spider-Man has singularly failed to battle a real live supervillain since April of 2005, and now we see why: he’s been easily neutralized by Narna’s totally non-super manservant. Why didn’t your spider-sense start tingling while Hugo was sneaking up on you with a bludgeon, Parker? Does it somehow magically not work on butlers? Christ.
Stan Lee created the character and ostensibly writes this strip, so you'd think that if anybody would always remember that Spidey is un-sneak-up-onnable as well as quick enough to dodge anything that might hit him (if it can possibly be dodged; as Spidey himself said in the comics once, he'd be screwed if he had to fight somebody in a broom closet, but when he has lots of room to maneuver it's a different story), it'd be him. But no:
And finally, the saddest example of spider-sense fail in the history of the character, in any medium:
EDIT TO ADD: One more.
“OK, Skyler, it’s about time we had a little talk. You’re getting older now, and you should know … that … you’re a bird. As am I. We’re all birds. I know we wear clothes and have jobs and go to school, so you probably thought that we’re people, but, no: birds. Are there bees out there that are similarly anthropomorphized? Seems unlikely to me, but in a world of freaky suit-wearing coffee-drinking bird-people, anything’s possible, right? Anyway, you might want to keep a lookout for bee-people. I was going to text this to you, but then I remembered that I don’t really have hands, so that would be difficult.”
http://joshreads.com/?p=14829
In accordance with Funky Winkerbean’s long tradition of making unbearably big deals out of low-level life problems, Mopey Pete the comics artist is behind deadline on the Superman book he’s working on, which is being portrayed metaphorically by him being bedeviled by a sinister supervillain called “The Lord of Late.” This was easy enough to ignore until today, when it was revealed that Mopey Pete is writing a series about Superman walking across America. Does Mopey Pete not know that Superman can fly?? Then I found out that this was actually a real thing, which just made me madder. Does DC Comics not know that Superman can fly??
Here's what somebody can hopefully explain to me: why NOT fly?
I get that if he just flew from one coast to the other, he wouldn't interact with anybody and it would defeat the purpose of the trip, but I'm not suggesting Supes do that.
Instead, he could fly over stretches of deserted wilderness or highway (while there are people on the highway, none of them would take kindly to Superman knocking on their windows and asking if they wanted to chat, because while that's not something that happens to them every day and it might make a good anecdote they are still in a hurry), and then land when he reaches a residential area. Then he could walk around and talk to people to his heart's content. Finally, when he was all done, he could fly off again and land at the next string of houses or big city or whatever.
I don't see why he would decide not to do any flying at all.
Speaking of superheroes: while the newspaper comic strip version of Spidey is at least still married to Mary Jane, he is sometimes kind of pitiful.
http://joshreads.com/?p=721
Oh, wow. I for one have longed to refer to Spidey as a “costumed cretin” for some time. And to do it in an effete, slightly English accent. And to bash in the back of his head with a lead pipe. This has got to be the most satisfying Spider-Man ever.
In fact, this installment so pleased me that for a minute I failed to grasp its import. Spider-Man has singularly failed to battle a real live supervillain since April of 2005, and now we see why: he’s been easily neutralized by Narna’s totally non-super manservant. Why didn’t your spider-sense start tingling while Hugo was sneaking up on you with a bludgeon, Parker? Does it somehow magically not work on butlers? Christ.
Stan Lee created the character and ostensibly writes this strip, so you'd think that if anybody would always remember that Spidey is un-sneak-up-onnable as well as quick enough to dodge anything that might hit him (if it can possibly be dodged; as Spidey himself said in the comics once, he'd be screwed if he had to fight somebody in a broom closet, but when he has lots of room to maneuver it's a different story), it'd be him. But no:
And finally, the saddest example of spider-sense fail in the history of the character, in any medium:
EDIT TO ADD: One more.
“OK, Skyler, it’s about time we had a little talk. You’re getting older now, and you should know … that … you’re a bird. As am I. We’re all birds. I know we wear clothes and have jobs and go to school, so you probably thought that we’re people, but, no: birds. Are there bees out there that are similarly anthropomorphized? Seems unlikely to me, but in a world of freaky suit-wearing coffee-drinking bird-people, anything’s possible, right? Anyway, you might want to keep a lookout for bee-people. I was going to text this to you, but then I remembered that I don’t really have hands, so that would be difficult.”