(no subject)
I think I lost control last night?
I couldn't really tell, because I was in control but I wasn't? I was freaking out. I thought Jessica wasn't there, that she was computer animated, hahah, then I thought David Celona wasn't there but that he appeared just to kill me, and all this other shit. It felt like everything was echoing, I couldn't remember what I was saying, my mind and heart were going at a million miles a second, and I was paranoid. My whole body was warm, but it was really cold. I couldn't feel the sunburn on my back unless I purposefully felt it. It felt like I was floating, and like I was going to fall over at any second. I was tired. Next time I'll just be quiet, but I couldn't really help talking. I thought I was in a dream. It feels like I was in a dream. It doesn't help that we were alone in the dark in the corner of McNear school. I'm still a bit shaky, but after I calmed down a bit (it took maybe half an hour), it felt a lot better. I was scared though.
Next time I'm not smoking THAT much. Just because it doesn't work immediately doesn't mean it's not going to work, haha.
I'm dumb. And paranoid. I suppose that's how I really feel all the time.
I saw Kiera and Cordell in vallejo.
Only 3 more weeks until the end.
I couldn't really tell, because I was in control but I wasn't? I was freaking out. I thought Jessica wasn't there, that she was computer animated, hahah, then I thought David Celona wasn't there but that he appeared just to kill me, and all this other shit. It felt like everything was echoing, I couldn't remember what I was saying, my mind and heart were going at a million miles a second, and I was paranoid. My whole body was warm, but it was really cold. I couldn't feel the sunburn on my back unless I purposefully felt it. It felt like I was floating, and like I was going to fall over at any second. I was tired. Next time I'll just be quiet, but I couldn't really help talking. I thought I was in a dream. It feels like I was in a dream. It doesn't help that we were alone in the dark in the corner of McNear school. I'm still a bit shaky, but after I calmed down a bit (it took maybe half an hour), it felt a lot better. I was scared though.
Next time I'm not smoking THAT much. Just because it doesn't work immediately doesn't mean it's not going to work, haha.
I'm dumb. And paranoid. I suppose that's how I really feel all the time.
I saw Kiera and Cordell in vallejo.
Only 3 more weeks until the end.