(no subject)
sometimes it just comes rushing in. a tide of sadness, senseless, obliterating everything. and ive begun to wonder how the hell i got here...where we've all begun to fit a uniform ugliness, with appropriate emotions plastered on our flushed faces (darkpink blush on our cheeks---giving us the appearance there was once movement in our pulses) and heads screwed on unbalanced bodies of awkward proportions. and it always seems im heading east at sunrise with a pounding headache, yellowlight screaming in my eyes like the neon glow of a vegas strip. i simply cant keep wonderland going so my cynicism just swells & my mind is continually reduced to a bundle of neurons, a series of synaptic firings...and suddenly ive become something more mechanical than id ever like to be (maybe this is why i seem so unfit for love.) i used to taste the streets and get lost in things other than myself. you can point and assign meaning all you'd like "this is a chair, this is a desk, this is LIFE." but its all not so easily defined. ive lost my list of synonyms for burnt out. is it possible to be burnt out on feeling so goddamned numb, so comfortable with being detatched? i might stop opening this mouth of mine (it never says half the things it should.) i might forget moving on, growing up, leaving this place behind, and keep my feet rooted here with a (mal)content smile on my undefined collage of a face.