eins // diary of the awesome me entry 001

[armywithcountry]

-- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'VE GOTTEN IT TO WORK! AS IF ANY FOREIGN PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY COULD POSSIBLY BE A MATCH FOR THE GREAT AND BRILLIANT PRUSSIA! PRAISE ME!

So all I have to do is shout into these little holes and people will hear me, huh? AWESOME!

[There's a brief pause as Prussia tries to figure out how to ask where the hell he is, what the

Comments

[wolf_faerie]

...you're much too loud.

[armywithcountry]

Well, of course I'm loud. How else are people supposed to hear me through these tiny holes?

[wolf_faerie]

You don't have to speak so loudly. Just speak normally and people will still hear you!

[armywithcountry]

. . . that's stupid. How does that even make sense? Can't be witchcraft, I stopped believing in that ages ago.

[But he quickly crosses himself just in case. He may not technically be Catholic anymore, but some old habits die hard.]

[wolf_faerie]

I thought it was magic too, when I first used it. I'm still not sure how it works, though.

Did you just wake up here?

[armywithcountry]

What, you heard --

[Coughs.]

Magic is for crazy people like England. And yeah, I just woke up. This is either a really shitty joke, or the worst hangover I've ever had. Either way, someone's going to die.

[wolf_faerie]

Well, if this is a joke, it's not a very funny one...

You're in Mayfield. This whole town is just one big game of pretend, and not the good kind. It's the kind that's made to trick you.

[armywithcountry]

As if anyone's smart enough to trick me. And Mayfield? I've never heard of it. Whose hou - whose country is it in?

[wolf_faerie]

It's in...America. I think.

Well, they do try awfully hard to trick you. They've got pictures of you with people you've never met so it'll make you think you've been there your whole life, and you have to live with a fake family. There are strange people called drones, and you become one of them if you do something bad.

[armywithcountry]

Ameri-- That brat?! What, he thinks he can play in the big leagues now that he's a nation? Where is he? If he thinks he can pull one over the great Prussia, he's in for a surprise!

Yeah, I saw those. Fucking ridiculous, as if I'd ever be caught dead in a marriage or with kids. I love being alone!

. . . drones?

[wolf_faerie]

Yes, drones. They look like normal people, except they're always happy. But I think they look too happy.

[She shivers.]

But whoever is in charge turns you into one of them if you do something wrong. Like if you try to escape from here.

[armywithcountry]

We get turned into those things? How? No, wait, more importantly, there's someone in charge of this place? Great, I'll just find him and kill him!

[wolf_faerie]

W-well, we...don't really know who's in charge. Or...I don't. I've only been here a few days. There are people who say that the mayor's in charge, but nobody can go see him. And there's something about the mayor not really being in charge at all...I don't know. I'm new here too.

And don't kill anyone. Please.

[armywithcountry]

If someone's going to kidnap me, take my clothes, put me in a fake family, stick me in a strange town with weird technology, and threaten to drone me or whatever the hell that is, why shouldn't I kill them?! I'm the awesome Prussia! They can't do this to me and get away with it!

[wolf_faerie]

Because if you kill someone, they'll drone you. And I've heard that a lot of people have been dying already, so we don't need any more of that.