2021 summary
2021 has been an interesting year for me, and a mostly good one, especially toward the end of the year. First, have this little art summary meme for the year.
I did a lot of experimenting this year, I started using a new sketch/finish/render style that I've grown to like and that has also given me the means to do things that are a little less tedious than my usual clean line work.
I had some rough spots, as I struggled with to find financial stability for myself and the endless black hole that is marking myself for commissions. I had a few slumps of depression that were directly related to this, because it truly is a soul crushing spot to exist in. But getting a job in September lifted such a huge weight off my mind. I was able to put all my focus into my first real mini comic, because my life was no longer consumed with making another marketable commission time or trying to wrap my head around what 'sells'. From September till now it's been this slowly ramping up Good feeling.
Because of my mini-comic, I have now set the foundation for something I've wanted to do since I was a teenager. Truly this is the first time that creating a comic truly feels within my grasp, it no longer feels like a distant mountain I'll never be able to climb. It's still huge and daunting, but it feels tangible. Even in the times in the past when I tried to start this comic it never felt this tangible. It's so important to me and it's really made me feel alive.
Tied in to that, this is the first time in.. almost two decades, I felt like there are people that actually care about what I'm working on. I've felt so alone in that respect, and it's given me this feeling of stability I can't recall if I've ever felt before. I've noticed that I've had those anxiety feelings of 'I can't draw that in front of other people, no one wants to see that' happen less and less. That's almost unheard of, for me. I still get it some times, that anxiety will never 100% vanish I think, but it's not around in the constant soul-crushing way it was before, and I think with the volume of work I've been doing and how easy it is to pick up the pen and just Draw is proof of how much that's changed for me.
2020 was a year of recovery, of finding myself again. 2021 has been a year of doing something and feeling like I might actually have a handle on things.
This entry was originally posted at https://armaina.dreamwidth.org/779962.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I did a lot of experimenting this year, I started using a new sketch/finish/render style that I've grown to like and that has also given me the means to do things that are a little less tedious than my usual clean line work.
I had some rough spots, as I struggled with to find financial stability for myself and the endless black hole that is marking myself for commissions. I had a few slumps of depression that were directly related to this, because it truly is a soul crushing spot to exist in. But getting a job in September lifted such a huge weight off my mind. I was able to put all my focus into my first real mini comic, because my life was no longer consumed with making another marketable commission time or trying to wrap my head around what 'sells'. From September till now it's been this slowly ramping up Good feeling.
Because of my mini-comic, I have now set the foundation for something I've wanted to do since I was a teenager. Truly this is the first time that creating a comic truly feels within my grasp, it no longer feels like a distant mountain I'll never be able to climb. It's still huge and daunting, but it feels tangible. Even in the times in the past when I tried to start this comic it never felt this tangible. It's so important to me and it's really made me feel alive.
Tied in to that, this is the first time in.. almost two decades, I felt like there are people that actually care about what I'm working on. I've felt so alone in that respect, and it's given me this feeling of stability I can't recall if I've ever felt before. I've noticed that I've had those anxiety feelings of 'I can't draw that in front of other people, no one wants to see that' happen less and less. That's almost unheard of, for me. I still get it some times, that anxiety will never 100% vanish I think, but it's not around in the constant soul-crushing way it was before, and I think with the volume of work I've been doing and how easy it is to pick up the pen and just Draw is proof of how much that's changed for me.
2020 was a year of recovery, of finding myself again. 2021 has been a year of doing something and feeling like I might actually have a handle on things.
This entry was originally posted at https://armaina.dreamwidth.org/779962.html. Please comment there using OpenID.