Love want and God cares
Been thinking about loneliness…and my lack of desire to eliminate it. The truth is, I did not WANT to. Been a significant factor over the past few weeks, if not months. Romantic loneliness sucks, yes, but it is SAFE. I know what to expect. I know how my life works, I do not have to shoulder someone else’s problems and lifestyle along with mine. Putting myself back ‘out there’ will be full of unpredictable risk. Schedule will change, a shift in priorities, and if I find someone very special…my views on the world and how it works could be radically altered. Is that something I truly, deeply, want? Maybe it just took some time, maybe I needed to heal after all the stress and drama from last year, but YES, I want it.
I want to find someone who can add pleasure and enjoyment to my life. Someone who finds a new way to amuse me every week, who makes me enjoy myself and BEING myself. Romance…to me, is found in those unplanned but amazing moments that two people share only between themselves…never to be recreated but always carried into eternity. I look forward to making Jesus smile as I regale Him with the tales of silly antics and special moments as I pursued my wife, all the days of our lives. I am seeking the woman that when her feet hit the floor each morning Satan cries, “Oh crap, she’s up!”
Read a poem by Russell Kelfer, and this part caused my breath to catch:
“No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.”
God cares that I suffer. Strife is not allowed into my life with no emotional attachment on God’s end. He does not send a situation as a ‘growing opportunity’ and think nothing of it. God HATES it when I experience pain. He really does want to take it away. But being stubborn and fallen, sometimes pain is the only way I will be motivated to learn and grow. If there were truly a BETTER way, God would be thrilled to use it.
Quotes from Nightwing/Huntress:
-Russo: Just like I told you, Benny-- --Christmas on Pier Six.
-Benny: And what do we say around here about things that look too good to be true, Russo?
-Russo: We say-“WHOA! ANYBODY KNOW WHERE THE BAT IS!?”
-Nightwing: NO. You don’t get to JUDGE me. You don’t know anything ABOUT me. You do remind me of Batman, but that’s not what scares me. It’s the OTHERS. Jason, Barbara, Kory…the names mean nothing to you, but I watch you dive into every case HEAD FIRST and I SEE them. One of them’s DEAD. One of them will never WALK again. And the other-- --the other found it so ALIEN to rein in her power, she finally had to leave ALTOGETHER.
-Huntress: Yes. YES. They paid the price. They’re your MARTYRS and your SAINTS and your LOST LOVES and you’re not complete without them, Nightwing. Just as you’re not complete without ME. Not because of who we ARE. Because of what we DO. It’s like a RELIGION. Something we once lost, something we once chose, something we ended up FREED by and TIED to. Now it’s in the BLOOD, don’t you see? Now it’s FAMILY.
[driving in a car]
-Huntress: *SIGH* See, here’s the problem, Nightwing. I TRUST you. And you don’t trust me.
-Nightwing: TRUST you? You’re gonna get us KILLED! CLUTCH!
-Huntress: No. We’re not even in DANGER now. I could crawl out onto the HOOD and you’d STILL keep control of the car. You won’t let us get HURT. And you won’t tell anyone my secret identity… …And if I told you I don’t want to be ALONE tonight, you’d come HOME with me, whereas if I told you I never wanted to SEE you again, you’d leave me ALONE.
-Nightwing: UH…so you’re saying you…?
-Huntress: You’re a GOOD man, and a GREAT friend. I understand why Batman and the Titans TRUST you. You’re loyal to a FAULT. Which is exactly why you’ll never give me the one thing I really WANT. You’ll never let me IN. I grew up PART of something, Nightwing. It was the MAFIA, so maybe it wasn’t a GREAT thing, but it was…a family of sorts. People were THERE for each other, you could COUNT on it. Not unlike what you and Batman and Robin and Oracle have NOW. You…have obviously been very LONELY in your time, oh heir apparent-- --but, trust me, you have NEVER been alone.
Arjayen
I want to find someone who can add pleasure and enjoyment to my life. Someone who finds a new way to amuse me every week, who makes me enjoy myself and BEING myself. Romance…to me, is found in those unplanned but amazing moments that two people share only between themselves…never to be recreated but always carried into eternity. I look forward to making Jesus smile as I regale Him with the tales of silly antics and special moments as I pursued my wife, all the days of our lives. I am seeking the woman that when her feet hit the floor each morning Satan cries, “Oh crap, she’s up!”
Read a poem by Russell Kelfer, and this part caused my breath to catch:
“No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.”
God cares that I suffer. Strife is not allowed into my life with no emotional attachment on God’s end. He does not send a situation as a ‘growing opportunity’ and think nothing of it. God HATES it when I experience pain. He really does want to take it away. But being stubborn and fallen, sometimes pain is the only way I will be motivated to learn and grow. If there were truly a BETTER way, God would be thrilled to use it.
Quotes from Nightwing/Huntress:
-Russo: Just like I told you, Benny-- --Christmas on Pier Six.
-Benny: And what do we say around here about things that look too good to be true, Russo?
-Russo: We say-“WHOA! ANYBODY KNOW WHERE THE BAT IS!?”
-Nightwing: NO. You don’t get to JUDGE me. You don’t know anything ABOUT me. You do remind me of Batman, but that’s not what scares me. It’s the OTHERS. Jason, Barbara, Kory…the names mean nothing to you, but I watch you dive into every case HEAD FIRST and I SEE them. One of them’s DEAD. One of them will never WALK again. And the other-- --the other found it so ALIEN to rein in her power, she finally had to leave ALTOGETHER.
-Huntress: Yes. YES. They paid the price. They’re your MARTYRS and your SAINTS and your LOST LOVES and you’re not complete without them, Nightwing. Just as you’re not complete without ME. Not because of who we ARE. Because of what we DO. It’s like a RELIGION. Something we once lost, something we once chose, something we ended up FREED by and TIED to. Now it’s in the BLOOD, don’t you see? Now it’s FAMILY.
[driving in a car]
-Huntress: *SIGH* See, here’s the problem, Nightwing. I TRUST you. And you don’t trust me.
-Nightwing: TRUST you? You’re gonna get us KILLED! CLUTCH!
-Huntress: No. We’re not even in DANGER now. I could crawl out onto the HOOD and you’d STILL keep control of the car. You won’t let us get HURT. And you won’t tell anyone my secret identity… …And if I told you I don’t want to be ALONE tonight, you’d come HOME with me, whereas if I told you I never wanted to SEE you again, you’d leave me ALONE.
-Nightwing: UH…so you’re saying you…?
-Huntress: You’re a GOOD man, and a GREAT friend. I understand why Batman and the Titans TRUST you. You’re loyal to a FAULT. Which is exactly why you’ll never give me the one thing I really WANT. You’ll never let me IN. I grew up PART of something, Nightwing. It was the MAFIA, so maybe it wasn’t a GREAT thing, but it was…a family of sorts. People were THERE for each other, you could COUNT on it. Not unlike what you and Batman and Robin and Oracle have NOW. You…have obviously been very LONELY in your time, oh heir apparent-- --but, trust me, you have NEVER been alone.
Arjayen