the eddie martin story....
now this has been some years ago, but those that were there can agree that it was probably the single most coolest thing ever. i was "talking" w/this guy. his name was eddie martin. he seemed pretty cool, he came over a few times and watched movies w/my friends and i for a while. well, every thursday, danae, dani, valerie, susie, myself, and sometimes beth would all pile into cars and go to 707. it was a dance club that hosted retro night on thursdays.
so anyway, it was a thursday. beth and i were getting ready to go out and valerie was bringing some friends from wichita: danae, and susie. well, one of the last times danae was here, she informed me of something mr. martin had said: apparently he said that he would watch as many movies as it took to get in my pants. well, i wasn't about to have any of that. besides, all he had to do was ask. i promise. at that point in my life, i was sleeping w/just about anyone. honestly. ask beth. lol.
i was not about to be made a fool of. and the one thing you never do is tell a girl's friend about your evil plan b/c that said friend will tell her girl. duh. he called the house that night as beth and i were getting ready to go out. now here's where it gets a little.......well, you'll see. i pretended to be drunk when i spoke w/him so he would come over and "get some". i wanted to do whatever it took to insure that he would be at my house after the club.
well, everyone shows up to the club, including mr. martin. the whole time he thinks i'm drunk and thinks he's gonna get some good ol' pussy. he had no idea what was in store for him when he got to the house. here's the thing, somehow, it got around to the whole bar that something big was happening at head's place after the bar. so by the time i got back to the house, it was full of people. of course i'm thinking, oh, this is gonna be great.
we get to my house and we're all sitting around watching a movie, some are still drinking, and i lean over and whisper to mr. martin that we need to go to the next room. we go to my room and start making out. i start to undress him and see that all his clothes are in ONE pile on the floor. we're right about to *ahem* "begin", when i stop him and say, "wait, i don't have any condoms......they're all in beth's room, i'll have to go get one."
the next thing he knows is that i have swung my bedroom door open to reveal a fully clothed me and a nearly naked him. EVERYONE was watching. it was awesome! what was even more awesome was what was waiting for him downstairs in the yard.......
i take his clothes and tell him to get the fuck out of my house and never bother coming back. then i run downstairs, w/his clothes, and threw them in the pre-made mud puddle that beth and i created BEFORE we went to the bar. it was raining, btw. so as he's bending over, in the rain, picking up his muddy clothes, beth comes out from behind the door and douses this motherfucker in flour. so now he's wet, muddy, naked, and covered in flour.
he goes back upstairs to get his shoes, and b/c he disrespected my roomie (beth), i drug his clothes out in the middle of the street and danced on them in the rain. ha! he comes back down and was all like, "how am i supposed to get home?"......um, you have two legs, walk motherfucker.
that's what happens when you piss me off. i throw your clothes in the mud and douse you in flour. told you i was crazy. and now you know the eddie martin story.
so anyway, it was a thursday. beth and i were getting ready to go out and valerie was bringing some friends from wichita: danae, and susie. well, one of the last times danae was here, she informed me of something mr. martin had said: apparently he said that he would watch as many movies as it took to get in my pants. well, i wasn't about to have any of that. besides, all he had to do was ask. i promise. at that point in my life, i was sleeping w/just about anyone. honestly. ask beth. lol.
i was not about to be made a fool of. and the one thing you never do is tell a girl's friend about your evil plan b/c that said friend will tell her girl. duh. he called the house that night as beth and i were getting ready to go out. now here's where it gets a little.......well, you'll see. i pretended to be drunk when i spoke w/him so he would come over and "get some". i wanted to do whatever it took to insure that he would be at my house after the club.
well, everyone shows up to the club, including mr. martin. the whole time he thinks i'm drunk and thinks he's gonna get some good ol' pussy. he had no idea what was in store for him when he got to the house. here's the thing, somehow, it got around to the whole bar that something big was happening at head's place after the bar. so by the time i got back to the house, it was full of people. of course i'm thinking, oh, this is gonna be great.
we get to my house and we're all sitting around watching a movie, some are still drinking, and i lean over and whisper to mr. martin that we need to go to the next room. we go to my room and start making out. i start to undress him and see that all his clothes are in ONE pile on the floor. we're right about to *ahem* "begin", when i stop him and say, "wait, i don't have any condoms......they're all in beth's room, i'll have to go get one."
the next thing he knows is that i have swung my bedroom door open to reveal a fully clothed me and a nearly naked him. EVERYONE was watching. it was awesome! what was even more awesome was what was waiting for him downstairs in the yard.......
i take his clothes and tell him to get the fuck out of my house and never bother coming back. then i run downstairs, w/his clothes, and threw them in the pre-made mud puddle that beth and i created BEFORE we went to the bar. it was raining, btw. so as he's bending over, in the rain, picking up his muddy clothes, beth comes out from behind the door and douses this motherfucker in flour. so now he's wet, muddy, naked, and covered in flour.
he goes back upstairs to get his shoes, and b/c he disrespected my roomie (beth), i drug his clothes out in the middle of the street and danced on them in the rain. ha! he comes back down and was all like, "how am i supposed to get home?"......um, you have two legs, walk motherfucker.
that's what happens when you piss me off. i throw your clothes in the mud and douse you in flour. told you i was crazy. and now you know the eddie martin story.