Hurting 8/9
Title: Hurting (Part One of the Hurt, Heal, Grow Series)
Author: Arizona_foreva
Rating: M
Pairing: Arizona/other
Summary: This story takes place as if our dear Callie didn’t survive the car crash.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings are the properties of their respective owners.
Authors Note: Please please please review!!!
Chapter 8
“I’m really sorry,” I said for the fiftieth millionth time.
“It’s fine Arizona, I understand. You’ll just have to think of ways to make it up to me,” Parker said and I could imagine the smirk she was wearing.
“Oh believe me, I’ve been thinking of nothing else since I first started apologising,” I chuckled.
“Call me when you’re back in Seattle,” she whispered before hanging up and I sighed as I closed my cell phone. What the heck was I doing? Chasing after a woman who was in love with someone else while a woman who seemed to want to be with me was waiting thousands of miles away in Seattle? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“Your stop ma’am,” the cab driver pulled me out of my musings and I looked up at the block of apartments and sighed. I handed the cab driver his fare before climbing out, grabbing my suitcase from the trunk and watched as he drove off. I turned back to look at the block of apartments again and shook my head. I can’t do this. I turned back to the street to hail for another cab when I heard my name.
“What are you doing here?” Lindsey looked around confused before setting her eyes on my suitcase beside me.
“I got your letter,” I answered and she sighed.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she shrugged, crossing her arms across her chest and looking down.
“Seriously?” I felt my anger returning slightly.
“Oh boy,” she whispered before picking up my suitcase and heading towards the apartment block, “We better take this inside before it becomes public.” I followed Lindsey to the third floor and into her apartment. I looked around and was drawn to the bookshelf where there were photos on display. I picked up a framed picture of Lindsey with a gorgeous blonde woman. The embrace told me that this was Chloe.
“She was beautiful,” I whispered, feeling Lindsey’s presence behind me. I closed my eyes and took a silent deep breath as I felt her press up behind me, her hand covering mine and taking the photo from my fingers.
“Breathtaking,” she whispered and I felt her breath on my ear, causing me to involuntarily shiver. I opened my eyes and watched as she replaced the photo on the bookshelf before feeling her take a step back. I instantly missed the warmth she generated in my personal space but shook the thoughts from my head.
“So what are you really doing here Arizona?” Lindsey asked me again and I followed her into her kitchen, leaning up against the counter as I watched her pull ingredients from the fridge.
“Why are you running away?” I asked and saw her momentarily stop what she was doing before continuing on.
“I’m not running away,” she denied and I scoffed at her and shook my head.
“You are running away Lindsey. You say you’re in love with Rebekah and you run away,” I became confused when she started to laugh, “Why are you laughing at me?”
“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. Who says I’m in love with Rebekah?”
“Your note... I assumed...” I stuttered and she shook her head.
“Rebekah is a nice girl, but I’m not in love with her,” she cleared up and I chewed on the inside of my lip as I tried to process everything she just said and the letter she had written which I had memorised.
“I don’t understand,” I finally admitted and she sighed before placing the knife down and turning to me, taking my hand and leading me over to the sofa to sit down.
“This is why I wrote the letter Arizona, because I knew that it would confuse you. I know about Parker, and you deserve to find happiness,” she said and I just became even more confused if that were even possible.
“What does Parker have to do with this?” I asked exasperatedly.
“Everything,” Lindsey said quietly, offering me a small smile, “Think about Arizona, you’re a smart woman. I don’t need to spell it out for you.”
Lindsey returned to the kitchen as I sat there trying to figure everything out.
“Dinner’s ready, come on,” Lindsey called and I still hadn’t come up with any answers. I walked into the kitchen and washed my hands before joining Lindsey at her table. I looked up at her as I ate and saw her avoiding eye contact with me.
“Is it Mark?” I finally asked, the only answer I could think of, “Have you jumped the fence and fallen in love with Mark?”
“Oh my God Arizona!” Lindsey threw her fork down and put her head in her hands.
“Well... maybe you do need to spell it out to me Lindsey, because there’s only one other person I can think of but I know that’s not possible,” I said, feeling a pang of hurt in my chest. I stood up and grabbed the two plates and took them into the kitchen, Lindsey following behind me.
“Who?” she asked and I shook my head at her. She grabbed my hips and turned me around so I was facing her and she made eye contact with me, “Who?”
“Linds...” I tried to break free but she held me in place and stepped a little closer.
“Who?” she whispered and I felt the tears falling down my cheek as I finally answered.
“Me,” I whispered.
I gasped as her mouth covered mine, her fingers digging deep into my hips. I was too stunned to move, I felt like my heart had literally stopped beating in my chest. I snapped out of my daze as she pulled away and took a step back.
“Now do you see why I have to leave?” she asked and I could see the hurt in her eyes.
“Wh...” I looked at her then realized that my stunned moment of idiocy could be confused for non-retaliation.
“Go back to Seattle Arizona,” she whispered and I watched in shock as she entered into what I presumed was her bedroom and slam the door behind her. I slid down the counter until I was sitting on the floor, too shocked to move. I was still sitting there some time later when I heard the bedroom door open and Lindsey walked into the kitchen, jumping in surprise when she saw me sitting on the floor.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I asked and she sighed before sitting opposite me on her kitchen floor.
“Because by the time I figured it out, it was too late,” she answered and I looked at her in confusion, “Parker.”
“Parker and I weren’t anything until last night,” I told her and she nodded.
“Mark told me last night, that you were going to her hotel room and he said it sounded like it was going to be the night. That you guys had been dating for a couple of weeks and last night was going to be the night.”
“It was,” I looked down, “Because I convinced myself that you were happy with Rebekah and I couldn’t sit around any longer. Calliope consumed my life for so many years, even after she was gone. I wasn’t going to allow you to consume my life unless you were actively a part of it. But you gave me no indication, you ignored me for two weeks Lindsey, so I convinced myself that I could only ever be your friend. That’s why I went to Parker’s. Because I needed to feel like I mattered to someone, because she cared for me and wasn’t afraid to let me know.”
“You...” Lindsey faltered and I took a deep breath.
“I’m in love with you and I have been for awhile now,” I whispered and I saw her shoulders shaking as her chin dropped to her chest.
“You never said anything either,” she sobbed out and I pulled myself forward along the floor until I was sitting in between her legs. I ducked my head down so I could see her face.
“Please don’t leave us Lindsey,” I whispered, placing a hand on her cheek.
“How can you ask that of me?” she cried.
“I’m sorry, I know it is asking a lot,” I looked down and sighed as I put my hands on her knees, unsure of how to move forward from this.
“I’ll need to think about it,” she finally whispered and I nodded to show I heard her.
Author: Arizona_foreva
Rating: M
Pairing: Arizona/other
Summary: This story takes place as if our dear Callie didn’t survive the car crash.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings are the properties of their respective owners.
Authors Note: Please please please review!!!
Chapter 8
“I’m really sorry,” I said for the fiftieth millionth time.
“It’s fine Arizona, I understand. You’ll just have to think of ways to make it up to me,” Parker said and I could imagine the smirk she was wearing.
“Oh believe me, I’ve been thinking of nothing else since I first started apologising,” I chuckled.
“Call me when you’re back in Seattle,” she whispered before hanging up and I sighed as I closed my cell phone. What the heck was I doing? Chasing after a woman who was in love with someone else while a woman who seemed to want to be with me was waiting thousands of miles away in Seattle? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“Your stop ma’am,” the cab driver pulled me out of my musings and I looked up at the block of apartments and sighed. I handed the cab driver his fare before climbing out, grabbing my suitcase from the trunk and watched as he drove off. I turned back to look at the block of apartments again and shook my head. I can’t do this. I turned back to the street to hail for another cab when I heard my name.
“What are you doing here?” Lindsey looked around confused before setting her eyes on my suitcase beside me.
“I got your letter,” I answered and she sighed.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she shrugged, crossing her arms across her chest and looking down.
“Seriously?” I felt my anger returning slightly.
“Oh boy,” she whispered before picking up my suitcase and heading towards the apartment block, “We better take this inside before it becomes public.” I followed Lindsey to the third floor and into her apartment. I looked around and was drawn to the bookshelf where there were photos on display. I picked up a framed picture of Lindsey with a gorgeous blonde woman. The embrace told me that this was Chloe.
“She was beautiful,” I whispered, feeling Lindsey’s presence behind me. I closed my eyes and took a silent deep breath as I felt her press up behind me, her hand covering mine and taking the photo from my fingers.
“Breathtaking,” she whispered and I felt her breath on my ear, causing me to involuntarily shiver. I opened my eyes and watched as she replaced the photo on the bookshelf before feeling her take a step back. I instantly missed the warmth she generated in my personal space but shook the thoughts from my head.
“So what are you really doing here Arizona?” Lindsey asked me again and I followed her into her kitchen, leaning up against the counter as I watched her pull ingredients from the fridge.
“Why are you running away?” I asked and saw her momentarily stop what she was doing before continuing on.
“I’m not running away,” she denied and I scoffed at her and shook my head.
“You are running away Lindsey. You say you’re in love with Rebekah and you run away,” I became confused when she started to laugh, “Why are you laughing at me?”
“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. Who says I’m in love with Rebekah?”
“Your note... I assumed...” I stuttered and she shook her head.
“Rebekah is a nice girl, but I’m not in love with her,” she cleared up and I chewed on the inside of my lip as I tried to process everything she just said and the letter she had written which I had memorised.
“I don’t understand,” I finally admitted and she sighed before placing the knife down and turning to me, taking my hand and leading me over to the sofa to sit down.
“This is why I wrote the letter Arizona, because I knew that it would confuse you. I know about Parker, and you deserve to find happiness,” she said and I just became even more confused if that were even possible.
“What does Parker have to do with this?” I asked exasperatedly.
“Everything,” Lindsey said quietly, offering me a small smile, “Think about Arizona, you’re a smart woman. I don’t need to spell it out for you.”
Lindsey returned to the kitchen as I sat there trying to figure everything out.
“Dinner’s ready, come on,” Lindsey called and I still hadn’t come up with any answers. I walked into the kitchen and washed my hands before joining Lindsey at her table. I looked up at her as I ate and saw her avoiding eye contact with me.
“Is it Mark?” I finally asked, the only answer I could think of, “Have you jumped the fence and fallen in love with Mark?”
“Oh my God Arizona!” Lindsey threw her fork down and put her head in her hands.
“Well... maybe you do need to spell it out to me Lindsey, because there’s only one other person I can think of but I know that’s not possible,” I said, feeling a pang of hurt in my chest. I stood up and grabbed the two plates and took them into the kitchen, Lindsey following behind me.
“Who?” she asked and I shook my head at her. She grabbed my hips and turned me around so I was facing her and she made eye contact with me, “Who?”
“Linds...” I tried to break free but she held me in place and stepped a little closer.
“Who?” she whispered and I felt the tears falling down my cheek as I finally answered.
“Me,” I whispered.
I gasped as her mouth covered mine, her fingers digging deep into my hips. I was too stunned to move, I felt like my heart had literally stopped beating in my chest. I snapped out of my daze as she pulled away and took a step back.
“Now do you see why I have to leave?” she asked and I could see the hurt in her eyes.
“Wh...” I looked at her then realized that my stunned moment of idiocy could be confused for non-retaliation.
“Go back to Seattle Arizona,” she whispered and I watched in shock as she entered into what I presumed was her bedroom and slam the door behind her. I slid down the counter until I was sitting on the floor, too shocked to move. I was still sitting there some time later when I heard the bedroom door open and Lindsey walked into the kitchen, jumping in surprise when she saw me sitting on the floor.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I asked and she sighed before sitting opposite me on her kitchen floor.
“Because by the time I figured it out, it was too late,” she answered and I looked at her in confusion, “Parker.”
“Parker and I weren’t anything until last night,” I told her and she nodded.
“Mark told me last night, that you were going to her hotel room and he said it sounded like it was going to be the night. That you guys had been dating for a couple of weeks and last night was going to be the night.”
“It was,” I looked down, “Because I convinced myself that you were happy with Rebekah and I couldn’t sit around any longer. Calliope consumed my life for so many years, even after she was gone. I wasn’t going to allow you to consume my life unless you were actively a part of it. But you gave me no indication, you ignored me for two weeks Lindsey, so I convinced myself that I could only ever be your friend. That’s why I went to Parker’s. Because I needed to feel like I mattered to someone, because she cared for me and wasn’t afraid to let me know.”
“You...” Lindsey faltered and I took a deep breath.
“I’m in love with you and I have been for awhile now,” I whispered and I saw her shoulders shaking as her chin dropped to her chest.
“You never said anything either,” she sobbed out and I pulled myself forward along the floor until I was sitting in between her legs. I ducked my head down so I could see her face.
“Please don’t leave us Lindsey,” I whispered, placing a hand on her cheek.
“How can you ask that of me?” she cried.
“I’m sorry, I know it is asking a lot,” I looked down and sighed as I put my hands on her knees, unsure of how to move forward from this.
“I’ll need to think about it,” she finally whispered and I nodded to show I heard her.