Hurting 7/9
Title: Hurting (Part One of the Hurt, Heal, Grow Series)
Author: Arizona_foreva
Rating: M
Pairing: Arizona/other
Summary: This story takes place as if our dear Callie didn’t survive the car crash.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings are the properties of their respective owners.
Authors Note: Please please please review!!!
Chapter 7
I knocked on the door in front of me, feeling a whole mix of apprehension, enthusiasm and my number one enemy, guilt. The guilt I was trying to push down and not allow it to surface at all tonight. It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since Lindsey ran out of my apartment leaving me confused, and we’ve barely spoken about anything other than Sofia. I don’t know what went wrong, or what exactly happened, all I know is that every time I try to talk to Lindsey, she makes excuses. So I’ve decided to take Mark’s advice, and move on with my life.
“Hey,” the door was opened and I beamed at Parker, handing over a bottle of wine, “You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” I blushed slightly before looking her up and down, “so do you.”
“Please, come in, I’ve already ordered some food so it shouldn’t be too long,” Parker opened the door a little more and I took a deep breath before crossing over that threshold.
“I’m glad you decided to come over,” Parker smiled that breathtaking smile at me as we finished the last of our dinner.
“I nearly didn’t,” I confessed and reached out to touch her hand, “but I’m glad I did too.” I allowed my fingers to trace random patterns gently on the top of her hand as we held eye contact.
“We should... ahem... probably get moving if we want to catch that movie,” Parker broke the silence and pulled her hand away. I watched as she stood up and as she stepped by me, I reached out and grabbed her hand.
“Or... we could stay in,” I suggested, getting out of my seat and stepping into her personal space. I reached a shaky hand up and wiped away imaginary hair before cupping her cheek and leaning in. I closed my eyes and heard Parker’s intake of breath before our lips met. I shut my brain off, not wanting to overanalyse anything and just enjoy what was happening. I felt Parker’s hands find rest on my hips and I threaded my hands through her hair. My libido which had been locked away for so long came to life. As we parted for breath, I looked into Parker’s eyes and saw the black with desire.
“You’re right,” she whispered, pushing me backwards, “we could definitely stay in.” I felt my back hit a wall and I moaned in pleasure as Parker’s hands travelled upwards, her thumbs ghosting over my erect nipples. I grabbed her hips and pulled her against me, my lips crashing to hers once more, wanting... no... needing more. The fight for control began, each pushing and pulling, trying hard to get what we both wanted. Luckily for me, Parker was wearing a dress, which meant I was able to pull her zipper down without too much trouble and she gasped as I led the material off of her shoulders, allowing the garment to fall to the floor without any problems.
“Beautiful,” I whispered as I took a moment to admire her in her matching panties and bra.
“Your turn,” she whispered, locking eyes with me as she undid the buttons of my blouse. I felt my breathing quicken and the wetness pool between my legs.
“Bed,” I barely whispered, my blouse hanging open. Parker smiled and took my hand, leading me over to the bed and dimming the lights.
I opened my eyes and groaned at the intrusive ringing of my cell phone. I reached over and grabbed the annoying device and checked the caller ID.
Lindsey.
“Do you need to get it?”
I looked down at Parker who was resting on the crook of one of my arms.
“It’s the nanny, so yeah,” I whispered in reply and she smiled lazily at me before closing her eyes and tightening her grip on my hip. I opened up my cell phone and put it to my ear, “Hello?”
“Mommy!” Sofia yelled happily and I couldn’t help smiling.
“Hey baby girl,” I answered.
"When are you coming home?” she asked, and I could detect hope in her voice.
“Soon sweetie,” I answered again, “long before Daddy takes you on the airplane.” Mark was taking Sofia to see her older half sister, Sloan this weekend, down in LA.
“Awesome Mommy. Lindsey wants to talk to you,” and then Sofia was gone.
“Hello?” Lindsey said and the guilt that I had successfully pushed away last night returned.
“Hello,” I managed to say despite the huge lump in my throat.
“I just wanted to let you know that I will be away for the weekend too, in case you got worried, that’s all. I will be leaving shortly, so I will see you when I get back,” she said quickly and I sat up, disturbing Parker.
“Wait...” I said before she could hang up, but I was too late. She was gone.
“Everything alright?” Parker asked as I closed my cell phone.
“I need to go, I’m sorry,” I got up and searched for my missing clothes.
“Oh,” Parker sounded hurt and I looked at her.
“No! No, not like that,” I stopped looking for my clothes and knelt down next to the bed in front of her, “I had an awesome time last night. Seriously.”
“Me too,” she whispered and smiled, tugging at the ends of a strand of my hair.
“How about you come round to my place tonight and I will cook you dinner? Mark’s taking Sofia away for the weekend so we will have the place to ourselves,” I suggested.
“Sounds good,” she nodded and I leaned in and gave her a smouldering kiss.
I bypassed the elevator and ran up the five flights of stairs and right past my own door and Mark’s, straight to Lindsey’s door. I knocked and knocked but there was no answer. Mark and Sofia came out of Mark’s apartment and I saw the sympathy in Mark’s eyes.
“She’s gone,” he whispered and I sighed in regret.
“She’ll be back on Monday Mom,” Sofia informed me and took my hand, “I’m going to miss her too.”
“So, you’re off to see Sloan today hey baby girl?”
“And Aunty Addison!” Sofia had a lot of enthusiasm and it was infectious.
“Wow! Make sure you give Aunty Addison and Henry a big, big kiss from me,” I told her and she nodded.
“I will Mommy, I promise,” she said then ran back into Mark’s apartment.
“So where were you last night?” Mark asked and I smiled shyly, “You finally did it!”
“Shush,” I smacked his arm before nodding.
“No regrets?”
“No,” I shook my head slowly, not wanting to admit the truth to him.
“Lindsey left this for you,” he pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to me before walking back into his apartment. I unlocked my own apartment and entered, shutting the door behind me and dumping my bag before sitting down on the sofa, the envelope still in my hands.
Dear Arizona,
I didn’t realize how hard it would be to write this until I’ve just sat here for the last twenty minutes trying to figure out how to tell you this. When I first arrived in Seattle nearly a year ago, I was in a downward spiral and ready to hit the bottom. You helped me rebuild my life. You gave me the confidence to move on and to take back my life, you helped me grieve and rebuild myself. So for that, thank you. And in this time, I also realized something. That even though I lost the love of my life, there was enough room in my heart to love again. And I am. In love. A love that is so strong that it sometimes hurts to breathe. A love that is so new but already full of regrets.
A love that if I lost it, I know that I will never be able to recover a second time.
And it’s for this reason that I regret to say that I can no longer be Sofia’s nanny.
Don’t take this personally.
It’s just time for me to move on.
- Lindsey
“She’s going to help us train a replacement,” Mark said and I looked up from the letter to see him leaning against my doorframe. I hadn’t even heard him come in.
“Where is she?” I asked, wiping away the stray tears.
“Arizo...”
“Where. Is. She?” I interrupted him and he sighed.
“New York,” he answered, “she owns an apartment there.”
“I’m going to need an address Mark,” I was already on my way to my bedroom and he followed me.
“What are you going to do Arizona?”
“I don’t know yet Mark, but I don’t want her to leave. I need to make her believe that it’s ok for her to love Rebekah, that any regrets will fade away,” I found my suitcase and started throwing clothes into it.
“How can you be so blind?” he asked and I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him.
“Excuse me?” I was on the verge of being very cranky.
“Nothing,” he held his hands up before grabbing a pen and paper from my side table and scribbling out an address, “Good luck.”
Author: Arizona_foreva
Rating: M
Pairing: Arizona/other
Summary: This story takes place as if our dear Callie didn’t survive the car crash.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings are the properties of their respective owners.
Authors Note: Please please please review!!!
Chapter 7
I knocked on the door in front of me, feeling a whole mix of apprehension, enthusiasm and my number one enemy, guilt. The guilt I was trying to push down and not allow it to surface at all tonight. It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since Lindsey ran out of my apartment leaving me confused, and we’ve barely spoken about anything other than Sofia. I don’t know what went wrong, or what exactly happened, all I know is that every time I try to talk to Lindsey, she makes excuses. So I’ve decided to take Mark’s advice, and move on with my life.
“Hey,” the door was opened and I beamed at Parker, handing over a bottle of wine, “You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” I blushed slightly before looking her up and down, “so do you.”
“Please, come in, I’ve already ordered some food so it shouldn’t be too long,” Parker opened the door a little more and I took a deep breath before crossing over that threshold.
“I’m glad you decided to come over,” Parker smiled that breathtaking smile at me as we finished the last of our dinner.
“I nearly didn’t,” I confessed and reached out to touch her hand, “but I’m glad I did too.” I allowed my fingers to trace random patterns gently on the top of her hand as we held eye contact.
“We should... ahem... probably get moving if we want to catch that movie,” Parker broke the silence and pulled her hand away. I watched as she stood up and as she stepped by me, I reached out and grabbed her hand.
“Or... we could stay in,” I suggested, getting out of my seat and stepping into her personal space. I reached a shaky hand up and wiped away imaginary hair before cupping her cheek and leaning in. I closed my eyes and heard Parker’s intake of breath before our lips met. I shut my brain off, not wanting to overanalyse anything and just enjoy what was happening. I felt Parker’s hands find rest on my hips and I threaded my hands through her hair. My libido which had been locked away for so long came to life. As we parted for breath, I looked into Parker’s eyes and saw the black with desire.
“You’re right,” she whispered, pushing me backwards, “we could definitely stay in.” I felt my back hit a wall and I moaned in pleasure as Parker’s hands travelled upwards, her thumbs ghosting over my erect nipples. I grabbed her hips and pulled her against me, my lips crashing to hers once more, wanting... no... needing more. The fight for control began, each pushing and pulling, trying hard to get what we both wanted. Luckily for me, Parker was wearing a dress, which meant I was able to pull her zipper down without too much trouble and she gasped as I led the material off of her shoulders, allowing the garment to fall to the floor without any problems.
“Beautiful,” I whispered as I took a moment to admire her in her matching panties and bra.
“Your turn,” she whispered, locking eyes with me as she undid the buttons of my blouse. I felt my breathing quicken and the wetness pool between my legs.
“Bed,” I barely whispered, my blouse hanging open. Parker smiled and took my hand, leading me over to the bed and dimming the lights.
I opened my eyes and groaned at the intrusive ringing of my cell phone. I reached over and grabbed the annoying device and checked the caller ID.
Lindsey.
“Do you need to get it?”
I looked down at Parker who was resting on the crook of one of my arms.
“It’s the nanny, so yeah,” I whispered in reply and she smiled lazily at me before closing her eyes and tightening her grip on my hip. I opened up my cell phone and put it to my ear, “Hello?”
“Mommy!” Sofia yelled happily and I couldn’t help smiling.
“Hey baby girl,” I answered.
"When are you coming home?” she asked, and I could detect hope in her voice.
“Soon sweetie,” I answered again, “long before Daddy takes you on the airplane.” Mark was taking Sofia to see her older half sister, Sloan this weekend, down in LA.
“Awesome Mommy. Lindsey wants to talk to you,” and then Sofia was gone.
“Hello?” Lindsey said and the guilt that I had successfully pushed away last night returned.
“Hello,” I managed to say despite the huge lump in my throat.
“I just wanted to let you know that I will be away for the weekend too, in case you got worried, that’s all. I will be leaving shortly, so I will see you when I get back,” she said quickly and I sat up, disturbing Parker.
“Wait...” I said before she could hang up, but I was too late. She was gone.
“Everything alright?” Parker asked as I closed my cell phone.
“I need to go, I’m sorry,” I got up and searched for my missing clothes.
“Oh,” Parker sounded hurt and I looked at her.
“No! No, not like that,” I stopped looking for my clothes and knelt down next to the bed in front of her, “I had an awesome time last night. Seriously.”
“Me too,” she whispered and smiled, tugging at the ends of a strand of my hair.
“How about you come round to my place tonight and I will cook you dinner? Mark’s taking Sofia away for the weekend so we will have the place to ourselves,” I suggested.
“Sounds good,” she nodded and I leaned in and gave her a smouldering kiss.
I bypassed the elevator and ran up the five flights of stairs and right past my own door and Mark’s, straight to Lindsey’s door. I knocked and knocked but there was no answer. Mark and Sofia came out of Mark’s apartment and I saw the sympathy in Mark’s eyes.
“She’s gone,” he whispered and I sighed in regret.
“She’ll be back on Monday Mom,” Sofia informed me and took my hand, “I’m going to miss her too.”
“So, you’re off to see Sloan today hey baby girl?”
“And Aunty Addison!” Sofia had a lot of enthusiasm and it was infectious.
“Wow! Make sure you give Aunty Addison and Henry a big, big kiss from me,” I told her and she nodded.
“I will Mommy, I promise,” she said then ran back into Mark’s apartment.
“So where were you last night?” Mark asked and I smiled shyly, “You finally did it!”
“Shush,” I smacked his arm before nodding.
“No regrets?”
“No,” I shook my head slowly, not wanting to admit the truth to him.
“Lindsey left this for you,” he pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to me before walking back into his apartment. I unlocked my own apartment and entered, shutting the door behind me and dumping my bag before sitting down on the sofa, the envelope still in my hands.
Dear Arizona,
I didn’t realize how hard it would be to write this until I’ve just sat here for the last twenty minutes trying to figure out how to tell you this. When I first arrived in Seattle nearly a year ago, I was in a downward spiral and ready to hit the bottom. You helped me rebuild my life. You gave me the confidence to move on and to take back my life, you helped me grieve and rebuild myself. So for that, thank you. And in this time, I also realized something. That even though I lost the love of my life, there was enough room in my heart to love again. And I am. In love. A love that is so strong that it sometimes hurts to breathe. A love that is so new but already full of regrets.
A love that if I lost it, I know that I will never be able to recover a second time.
And it’s for this reason that I regret to say that I can no longer be Sofia’s nanny.
Don’t take this personally.
It’s just time for me to move on.
- Lindsey
“She’s going to help us train a replacement,” Mark said and I looked up from the letter to see him leaning against my doorframe. I hadn’t even heard him come in.
“Where is she?” I asked, wiping away the stray tears.
“Arizo...”
“Where. Is. She?” I interrupted him and he sighed.
“New York,” he answered, “she owns an apartment there.”
“I’m going to need an address Mark,” I was already on my way to my bedroom and he followed me.
“What are you going to do Arizona?”
“I don’t know yet Mark, but I don’t want her to leave. I need to make her believe that it’s ok for her to love Rebekah, that any regrets will fade away,” I found my suitcase and started throwing clothes into it.
“How can you be so blind?” he asked and I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him.
“Excuse me?” I was on the verge of being very cranky.
“Nothing,” he held his hands up before grabbing a pen and paper from my side table and scribbling out an address, “Good luck.”