Predictive Betrayal (Rustlers' Rhapsody Revisited...)
You are a person. You buy something thus making you a customer. The thing in question breaks, you call the tech that is responsible for fixing the thing.
You are a person. You are trained to fix things, thus making you a tech. You work for a dealership that services many different things. You like happy customers. Happy customers do not call. One of your customers has a broken thing. One of your customers is unhappy. You cannot fix the thing. The customer keeps calling.
You are a person. You own a dealership. You interact with the manufacturers of the things you sell. You also hire techs to fix the things you sell. You like happy customers. Happy customers buy things. You like good techs. Good techs keep customers happy. The thing is broken and the customer is unhappy. The customer keeps calling you.
You are a person. You work for the manufacturer of things. You have a specific region that you travel, visiting the dealerships in it as you attempt to assist them in the selling of your company's things as oppose to some other company's things. You are called a Regional Sales Manager. You like happy dealers. Happy dealers sell more things. One of your dealers has a customer who's thing is broken. The tech was unable to fix the thing. The dealer keeps calling you. Their customer keeps calling you.
You are a person. You are an Integration Specialist for the manufacturer of things. You help support the Regional Sales Managers. You like happy RSMs. Happy RSMs sell more things. One of your RSMs has a dealer, that has a customer, who's thing is broken. Their tech has been unable to fix the thing. Because of this:
The customer is unhappy. They cannot do their work with a broken thing.
The tech is unhappy. They feel foolish as their job is to fix broken things and this thing they cannot fix.
The dealer is unhappy. They do not want to lose the customer. Or worse still, for the customer to bad mouth them around town.
The RSM is unhappy. They need happy dealers so the dealer will sell things. The more the dealer sells, the more the RSM makes.
You are a person. You are a Technical Sales Support Engineer. You work for the manufacturer of things but outside of that, you have little idea as to where your job starts or end. You interact with the Integration Specialist. By the time they escalate the issue to you, everyone is unhappy. Very unhappy. Massively. Fucking. Unhappy.
Narrative change.
This is what's going to happen. You (the dealer) will be on the phone. Your tech will be on the phone. Your customer will be on the phone. I will be on the phone. At some point during this call, you are going to completely rollover on me.
The common thought is that it should be us against them. Me (the TSSE) and you (the dealer) against the customer in the hopes we'll be able to solve their issue. But as you know (because I'm telling you) and as I know (because fool me twelve times, shame on me) this will not be the case. You'll get on the call and your customer will be upset. It will take anywhere between 0 to 5 minutes for them to start snipping away at me as I delve for information. At that point, either you or your tech will say something so incredibly unhelpful and stupid that the phone will become silent for 5 to 10 second. This is my fault really. While I am use to dealers rolling over on me, each time is different and special, like a retarded snowflake.
At that point the call will end quickly yet politely. This is because we want information, not a bitchfest.
I will arrive the following week. I will be polite. You will be polite. You'll take me out to the customer who will not be polite. At this point, there's a fifty-fifty chance you'll roll over on me again. I know, I know, it's a lot harder to do in person.
I will fix the problem. You will apologize for you (or your tech) with regards to the conference call. I will say I understand. I will leave. I will remember all this if you ever need my help again.
Vegas it is! And it took me 27 hours to recall the quotes running through my head were from Rustler's Rhapsody. You almost let me down interweb.