Closure?
For all she complained about closure, she denied it hard, closing the door in my face when I tried to knock peacefully. Perhaps she no longer wanted that closure. Perhaps she just wanted the satisfaction of denying it to me as she thought I had denied it to her. It no longer matters.
When I honestly cared, honestly tried to make some semblance of peace, when I was honestly worried about her and Luke, her next comment was how glad she was I was out of her life. What sane human being would NOT be pissed of by that reaction? How can that NOT be viewed as an emotional attack, a slamming door? She commented on her friends' reaction, as if it mattered, of it being my "missing you" or "please come back" response. Well, since I'm apparently such a bad person for NOT making the same mistake she made, this must condemn me from being kind? Oh, my mistake. I won't make it again.
Now, for a quote:
>>He forgot to take one thing into account... Something snapped when I realised how much he'd lied to me. I think it was my "give a damn." Don't even act concerned about Luke right now. If you really cared, you wouldn't have left. It's that simple.<<
The lie in question, mainly, was my trip to Georgia - which, technically, was still true; I had a layover there - ended in Tennessee to visit Shirley. To spend time with Shirley. How could anyone, INCLUDING Abby, blame me? Our relationship had been degrading. I had experienced the worst tragedy a relationship could endure and I had tried to recover. I had genuinely tried. I wanted to move on, I really did, but there are some things you just can't accept. I couldn't accept that Abby would do that to me. If SHE really cared, she wouldn't have left for someone else's bed in the middle of the night and then told a bold-faced lie to me about it, when directly asked, for months.
>>It was bad enough that he sat there and told me to my face that the reason he was leaving me was because he could no longer trust me. Because I'd slept with someone else behind his back. Nevermind the real reason he was leaving me was so he could get with Shirley, but he still lied and told me it was all my fault. He still claims that it was my fault. That if I hadn't felt the need to sleep with someone else, we'd still be together.<<
Holy shit...now, wait a minute, let's think about this. Is it possible that this could actually be TRUE? Is that so hard to believe? She fucked another guy behind my back and deceived me about it. I then couldn't take it, and when another woman showed interest, one with whom I actually had a basis of TRUST with, can I really be expected NOT to show interest back? Wow. Suddenly, this little quote of Abby's doesn't seem so far-fetched, does it?
>>If there is a war going on, then I'm not the one fighting it. Arland was right about my bygones comment. It's past time for us to admit that we're happier now without each other. Without calling names, and without slinging mud. Without comparisons. Without dragging up all the bad memories. Just let it go. If you're so happy now, then prove it by getting on with your life without having to badmouth me in the process.<<
Fine. Let's see how long this little statement lasts. I've said my piece. I've defended myself from the flat-out slanderous comments SHE made. I won't attempt to justify my language; when kindness is rejected on that level for that reason, anger should be expected. Hell, anger was the point. She WANTED to piss me off, wanted me to feel rejected. Fine. I can live with that. But I'm done. Here's your closure: I tried. With all my heart, I tried, and I failed. You are one of the few projects in my life that I truly surrender, give up on, abandon; you're one of only two who abandoned me. I don't feel anger anymore; it's been numbed by time and good, loving care from someone who trusts me and I trust back. This will be my last post on this issue unless I'm forced to do so by some other slanderous response sworn away with that final quote above. Let's hope it stays at this.
Good luck, Abby. I mean that. Perhaps something good may come of all this, after all.
Arland.
When I honestly cared, honestly tried to make some semblance of peace, when I was honestly worried about her and Luke, her next comment was how glad she was I was out of her life. What sane human being would NOT be pissed of by that reaction? How can that NOT be viewed as an emotional attack, a slamming door? She commented on her friends' reaction, as if it mattered, of it being my "missing you" or "please come back" response. Well, since I'm apparently such a bad person for NOT making the same mistake she made, this must condemn me from being kind? Oh, my mistake. I won't make it again.
Now, for a quote:
>>He forgot to take one thing into account... Something snapped when I realised how much he'd lied to me. I think it was my "give a damn." Don't even act concerned about Luke right now. If you really cared, you wouldn't have left. It's that simple.<<
The lie in question, mainly, was my trip to Georgia - which, technically, was still true; I had a layover there - ended in Tennessee to visit Shirley. To spend time with Shirley. How could anyone, INCLUDING Abby, blame me? Our relationship had been degrading. I had experienced the worst tragedy a relationship could endure and I had tried to recover. I had genuinely tried. I wanted to move on, I really did, but there are some things you just can't accept. I couldn't accept that Abby would do that to me. If SHE really cared, she wouldn't have left for someone else's bed in the middle of the night and then told a bold-faced lie to me about it, when directly asked, for months.
>>It was bad enough that he sat there and told me to my face that the reason he was leaving me was because he could no longer trust me. Because I'd slept with someone else behind his back. Nevermind the real reason he was leaving me was so he could get with Shirley, but he still lied and told me it was all my fault. He still claims that it was my fault. That if I hadn't felt the need to sleep with someone else, we'd still be together.<<
Holy shit...now, wait a minute, let's think about this. Is it possible that this could actually be TRUE? Is that so hard to believe? She fucked another guy behind my back and deceived me about it. I then couldn't take it, and when another woman showed interest, one with whom I actually had a basis of TRUST with, can I really be expected NOT to show interest back? Wow. Suddenly, this little quote of Abby's doesn't seem so far-fetched, does it?
>>If there is a war going on, then I'm not the one fighting it. Arland was right about my bygones comment. It's past time for us to admit that we're happier now without each other. Without calling names, and without slinging mud. Without comparisons. Without dragging up all the bad memories. Just let it go. If you're so happy now, then prove it by getting on with your life without having to badmouth me in the process.<<
Fine. Let's see how long this little statement lasts. I've said my piece. I've defended myself from the flat-out slanderous comments SHE made. I won't attempt to justify my language; when kindness is rejected on that level for that reason, anger should be expected. Hell, anger was the point. She WANTED to piss me off, wanted me to feel rejected. Fine. I can live with that. But I'm done. Here's your closure: I tried. With all my heart, I tried, and I failed. You are one of the few projects in my life that I truly surrender, give up on, abandon; you're one of only two who abandoned me. I don't feel anger anymore; it's been numbed by time and good, loving care from someone who trusts me and I trust back. This will be my last post on this issue unless I'm forced to do so by some other slanderous response sworn away with that final quote above. Let's hope it stays at this.
Good luck, Abby. I mean that. Perhaps something good may come of all this, after all.
Arland.