Places Look The Same, And We're The Only Difference
So, I finally talked to Pat. To make a very long, and somewhat senseless conversation short, I’ll take out the senseless crap.
Pat: “…Were you mad?”
Me: “Mad? No. I wasn’t mad. I was really, really sad. To think it was all a lie? That really sucked. I liked you. God, I still do. So much.”
Pat: “ I know I shouldn’t say it, but I still like you too. God, I liked you a whole lot. I thought it was going to work out and be great when we got back together. I should have known that I couldn’t really have had a girlfriend though, there was too much going on. 3 Jobs? College? Messed up family? Girlfriend? It’s too much. And the fact that the people that knew I was dating you were telling me I was a cradle robber. I think… I just let it all go to my head.”
Me: “But you still made time for her. Apparently you found someone that you could still fit in. And I’m going to respect that. I can’t say it doesn’t make me sad that I couldn’t be the one to make you happy, but, well, if you’re going to be happy with her, then it’s for the best. I want you to be happy, Pat. I like you enough that, as much as it hurts, I can watch you go without kicking and screaming. I just want you to be happy, just be happy.”
Pat: “Alyson, if I could do it all over, I think I would have chosen you.”
Me: “But it’s too late. There is no chance I’ll do this again, even if that’s all I really want to do. It’s too risky. You’re too risky, too much of a gamble, to be a boyfriend. I love you, Pat, but it can’t happen. It just can’t.”
Pat: “I’m sorry, I really am.”
Alyson: “Me too… Me too.”
It made me so terribly sad, and yet so very happy at the same time. It’s nice to know that there really was something there the whole time, even if it never really did work out.
It’s… good that this is all done and sealed now.
Pat: “…Were you mad?”
Me: “Mad? No. I wasn’t mad. I was really, really sad. To think it was all a lie? That really sucked. I liked you. God, I still do. So much.”
Pat: “ I know I shouldn’t say it, but I still like you too. God, I liked you a whole lot. I thought it was going to work out and be great when we got back together. I should have known that I couldn’t really have had a girlfriend though, there was too much going on. 3 Jobs? College? Messed up family? Girlfriend? It’s too much. And the fact that the people that knew I was dating you were telling me I was a cradle robber. I think… I just let it all go to my head.”
Me: “But you still made time for her. Apparently you found someone that you could still fit in. And I’m going to respect that. I can’t say it doesn’t make me sad that I couldn’t be the one to make you happy, but, well, if you’re going to be happy with her, then it’s for the best. I want you to be happy, Pat. I like you enough that, as much as it hurts, I can watch you go without kicking and screaming. I just want you to be happy, just be happy.”
Pat: “Alyson, if I could do it all over, I think I would have chosen you.”
Me: “But it’s too late. There is no chance I’ll do this again, even if that’s all I really want to do. It’s too risky. You’re too risky, too much of a gamble, to be a boyfriend. I love you, Pat, but it can’t happen. It just can’t.”
Pat: “I’m sorry, I really am.”
Alyson: “Me too… Me too.”
It made me so terribly sad, and yet so very happy at the same time. It’s nice to know that there really was something there the whole time, even if it never really did work out.
It’s… good that this is all done and sealed now.