*sigh* Love and All that
I had a scary dream last night, after falling asleep reading a romance novel (yes, I do read romance novels). I dreamed that I was 45 years old, that I'd done nothing with my life, and I was all alone.
The alone part worries me more than anything. I know I'm young and I have my whole life ahead of me, but what if I don't find that one special person? My older sister is almost 40. She runs a failing not-for-profit, has no sense of responsibility or budgeting, and is almost completely alone in the world. Some of the family have started to avoid her because she is always asking for loans, or donations to her organization. She just had to move because her loft in NY was forclosed on, and she has no boyfriend even. I see myself becoming her. I haven't had a single boyfriend since I started High School, ONE in middle school, and one in 4th grade, which doesn't really count. It scares me. I don't want to be alone in the world, I just want one adorable guy to love me. But I guess I'm a romantic, and life doesn't always happen like that. I can also see myself thinking I'm in love and falling into a bad relationship because of it. I dunno. I just don't know.
The alone part worries me more than anything. I know I'm young and I have my whole life ahead of me, but what if I don't find that one special person? My older sister is almost 40. She runs a failing not-for-profit, has no sense of responsibility or budgeting, and is almost completely alone in the world. Some of the family have started to avoid her because she is always asking for loans, or donations to her organization. She just had to move because her loft in NY was forclosed on, and she has no boyfriend even. I see myself becoming her. I haven't had a single boyfriend since I started High School, ONE in middle school, and one in 4th grade, which doesn't really count. It scares me. I don't want to be alone in the world, I just want one adorable guy to love me. But I guess I'm a romantic, and life doesn't always happen like that. I can also see myself thinking I'm in love and falling into a bad relationship because of it. I dunno. I just don't know.