My karma ran over my dogma.
Because I'm an English major, I get to make fun of the way English is used.
You'd be able to do it, too, if you were an English major... but you're not. You have to make fun of something else.
Like not having a job or eating macoroni or whatever it is you people do.
Here you go:
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that the English language is as pure as a crib-house whore. It not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary.
James Nicoll, 1846-1918
This is not a novel to be tossed lightly aside. It should be thrown with great force.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967
Signs:
There is a tiny hamlet in North Yorkshire, England, called Bedlam. At the edge of the village is a sign saying, "Welcome to Bedlam.''
In an office: "After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."
On a church door: "This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)"
Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants please stay in your car"
hahahaha.
You'd be able to do it, too, if you were an English major... but you're not. You have to make fun of something else.
Like not having a job or eating macoroni or whatever it is you people do.
Here you go:
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that the English language is as pure as a crib-house whore. It not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary.
James Nicoll, 1846-1918
This is not a novel to be tossed lightly aside. It should be thrown with great force.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967
Signs:
There is a tiny hamlet in North Yorkshire, England, called Bedlam. At the edge of the village is a sign saying, "Welcome to Bedlam.''
In an office: "After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."
On a church door: "This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)"
Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants please stay in your car"
hahahaha.