(no subject)
here i am. i'm home. its raining like cats and dogs would rain if they were..water vapor.
I went to scots funeral, and everyone was so excited to see me. They couldnt stop telling me how gorgeous i was, or how proud they were of me, and how they never wanted to lose me to anything, and to keep in touch because i'm on the brink of a predictably wonderful, successful life. Except for grandma. She ignored me entirely for the most part. But i suppose she has alot on her mind, and it's true, there really is no room for me in her life, now. Maybe that will change.
Doug and Ryan were so delighted to see me. I'm their "favorite niece," even. I really like those two uncles. Doug has always been the adventurous one, as far as i can see. Ryan has been the successful one. Ryan wants me to go drive his boat in oregon for a while this summer. I could do that. Doug and Courtnie want me to come to their bbq tomorrow. I really want to go.
Aunt Diane couldnt stop hugging me. It's comforting to see how Uncle Dave's eyes light up when he looks at me. I really like feeling loved. I like having a community that is going to support me. Even if i don't fall back on them.
Uncle scot's face was very caked with makeup. apparently the blood rushed to his head when he died, and so his face turned purple. the purple color was visible on his scalp under his hair.
It got me thinking about my funeral. I dont want it to show how happy i was. I want it to accurately reflect my life. I don't want any dribble about me being in a better place, no matter how comforting it would be to the people attending the funeral. I want it to show exactly what i went through. I want a visual tribute to my life, with pictures, letters, paintings--that show the bad as well as the good. Everyone there was so hung up on scot being funny and loavable. Not what he had done wrong, or how he was a person, and was capable of being an absolute jerk. I don't want a sugar coating at mine. I'm not a saint. Neither was he.
Human. I want my funeral to sum up my life as a journalist would if s/he were writing a profile on me.
That's what i was crying about. Not that scot is dead, but that humanity so often overlooks hardships out of societal grace. In the event that I die, I want none of that. I want people to know, when i'm dead, what i failed at and what i succeeded at. what i overcame and what i ran away from.
You Were Actually Born Under:
Delicate, timid, and attractive - sometimes you really do act like a bunny.
You're very compassionate and protective of those you love, sometimes too protective.
Your home is really your castle, and you make sure your home is comfortable and well furnished.
You don't like to argue - and you prefer a quiet, peaceful life.
You are most compatible with a Goat or a Pig.You Should Have Been Born Under:
You've got a ton of energy - and need plenty of room to roam.
You tend to follow your whims, and it's hard for you to stick to one thing.
Specific jobs, loves, and friends are always changing and never a part of your life for long.
Very intuitive, you tend to know what people are thinking before they say a word.
You are most compatible with a Dog or Tiger.
What Year Were You Born Under?
I went to scots funeral, and everyone was so excited to see me. They couldnt stop telling me how gorgeous i was, or how proud they were of me, and how they never wanted to lose me to anything, and to keep in touch because i'm on the brink of a predictably wonderful, successful life. Except for grandma. She ignored me entirely for the most part. But i suppose she has alot on her mind, and it's true, there really is no room for me in her life, now. Maybe that will change.
Doug and Ryan were so delighted to see me. I'm their "favorite niece," even. I really like those two uncles. Doug has always been the adventurous one, as far as i can see. Ryan has been the successful one. Ryan wants me to go drive his boat in oregon for a while this summer. I could do that. Doug and Courtnie want me to come to their bbq tomorrow. I really want to go.
Aunt Diane couldnt stop hugging me. It's comforting to see how Uncle Dave's eyes light up when he looks at me. I really like feeling loved. I like having a community that is going to support me. Even if i don't fall back on them.
Uncle scot's face was very caked with makeup. apparently the blood rushed to his head when he died, and so his face turned purple. the purple color was visible on his scalp under his hair.
It got me thinking about my funeral. I dont want it to show how happy i was. I want it to accurately reflect my life. I don't want any dribble about me being in a better place, no matter how comforting it would be to the people attending the funeral. I want it to show exactly what i went through. I want a visual tribute to my life, with pictures, letters, paintings--that show the bad as well as the good. Everyone there was so hung up on scot being funny and loavable. Not what he had done wrong, or how he was a person, and was capable of being an absolute jerk. I don't want a sugar coating at mine. I'm not a saint. Neither was he.
Human. I want my funeral to sum up my life as a journalist would if s/he were writing a profile on me.
That's what i was crying about. Not that scot is dead, but that humanity so often overlooks hardships out of societal grace. In the event that I die, I want none of that. I want people to know, when i'm dead, what i failed at and what i succeeded at. what i overcame and what i ran away from.
You Were Actually Born Under:
Delicate, timid, and attractive - sometimes you really do act like a bunny.
You're very compassionate and protective of those you love, sometimes too protective.
Your home is really your castle, and you make sure your home is comfortable and well furnished.
You don't like to argue - and you prefer a quiet, peaceful life.
You are most compatible with a Goat or a Pig.You Should Have Been Born Under:
You've got a ton of energy - and need plenty of room to roam.
You tend to follow your whims, and it's hard for you to stick to one thing.
Specific jobs, loves, and friends are always changing and never a part of your life for long.
Very intuitive, you tend to know what people are thinking before they say a word.
You are most compatible with a Dog or Tiger.
What Year Were You Born Under?