[Rambles] Missing Me.
Hello.
I'm still alive, it seems. Despite everything. Heh heh.
I googled for MaruxUeda. And surprisingly, I found a fic I wrote on my birthday 3 years ago and it made me feel so sad that it was so filled with wonder and purpose. In these three years, I feel as if I've grown six years older. I've lost the sense of joy I get from th liittle things like this. I've grown jaded in this past one and a half years.
I don't know if being in a corporate world becomes me but I feel as if my life revolves solely around my work - it starts around the time normal people have their lunch and ends when everyones is about to curl under their sheets to catch up with their sleep. I barely care to watch the TV anymore, let alone the news. I have no time to go out to buy newspaper and I can't be bothered to read the online news. I go to work and by the time I go home, I'm only interested to download a few movies/dramas which I collect for "when I have time to watch". I do try to make it a point to wake up a bit earlier and take in an hour or so of exercise lately and about another hour to prepare my dinner.
However, I'm calling it quits at the end of January. Hopefully by then, I'd be able to catch up with my studying so I'm not that far left behind when I start my Master's programme in July... which reminds me, I should slot in some time in my schedule to call the university up for more information.
My mom has been working there for 25 years. I don't know how people can keep going on feeling so spread thin and detached. Personally, I'm worried. I might make a good manager someday if I continue on, but I'm not sure if that is what I want. I know that I'd be happy being a lecturer; I'd get to share what I know with others, I'd get to keep learning and I'd have enough time for me...and my family. But I feel if I don't leave soon, I'm going to grow comfortable and complacent and I won't want to leave.
I guess it'll take me a while but I'll sort my life out...somehow.
I'm still alive, it seems. Despite everything. Heh heh.
I googled for MaruxUeda. And surprisingly, I found a fic I wrote on my birthday 3 years ago and it made me feel so sad that it was so filled with wonder and purpose. In these three years, I feel as if I've grown six years older. I've lost the sense of joy I get from th liittle things like this. I've grown jaded in this past one and a half years.
I don't know if being in a corporate world becomes me but I feel as if my life revolves solely around my work - it starts around the time normal people have their lunch and ends when everyones is about to curl under their sheets to catch up with their sleep. I barely care to watch the TV anymore, let alone the news. I have no time to go out to buy newspaper and I can't be bothered to read the online news. I go to work and by the time I go home, I'm only interested to download a few movies/dramas which I collect for "when I have time to watch". I do try to make it a point to wake up a bit earlier and take in an hour or so of exercise lately and about another hour to prepare my dinner.
However, I'm calling it quits at the end of January. Hopefully by then, I'd be able to catch up with my studying so I'm not that far left behind when I start my Master's programme in July... which reminds me, I should slot in some time in my schedule to call the university up for more information.
My mom has been working there for 25 years. I don't know how people can keep going on feeling so spread thin and detached. Personally, I'm worried. I might make a good manager someday if I continue on, but I'm not sure if that is what I want. I know that I'd be happy being a lecturer; I'd get to share what I know with others, I'd get to keep learning and I'd have enough time for me...and my family. But I feel if I don't leave soon, I'm going to grow comfortable and complacent and I won't want to leave.
I guess it'll take me a while but I'll sort my life out...somehow.