(no subject)
I've lost so many, gained so much, but I feel the same.
I know that I've grown, that I'm more mature, that I am in fact a better person than I was a year ago; healthier, more stable and more centered. I still feel diminutive compared to what faces me. I fear, based on the fact that I am sure of my inability to deal with it all, what happens when I am put to the test. I fear for my menu being panned by the press, my friends not understanding that my work taking my time up is nothing against them, and my family not understanding what it takes to be a success in my industry. Moreso, I feel like everyone who tells me they believe in me is wrong, that I will dissappoint, that I will fail. I just want to know that I'm wrong, the it's not luck that got me my position, but skill, that I am that good. I've never felt that. I never think I will.
I know that I've grown, that I'm more mature, that I am in fact a better person than I was a year ago; healthier, more stable and more centered. I still feel diminutive compared to what faces me. I fear, based on the fact that I am sure of my inability to deal with it all, what happens when I am put to the test. I fear for my menu being panned by the press, my friends not understanding that my work taking my time up is nothing against them, and my family not understanding what it takes to be a success in my industry. Moreso, I feel like everyone who tells me they believe in me is wrong, that I will dissappoint, that I will fail. I just want to know that I'm wrong, the it's not luck that got me my position, but skill, that I am that good. I've never felt that. I never think I will.