Daily Draw: Four of Wands, Five of Pentacles, Eight of Swords, and Ten of Cups
It took me a minute to realize I had all four suits. I've never had to do four at time when not in a specific spread, but these guys all managed to jump out and fling themselves across the room. Perhaps I should handle them less roughly... Anyway, I'll assume these will be meant to map out my day. I also notice that the outer cards are looking positive, and the inner look negative, which i take to mean that the day starts and ends well, but I have to deal with the bad in the middle.
Four of Wands: This probably represents how I woke up in a pretty good mood, and am still in that good mood. That's partly because I was depressed last night, which tends to make me wake up in a good mood, and because I've been having really interesting dreams lately. They're starting to have plots to them, which very rarely happens with my dreams, and this is the third night in a row.
Five of Pentacles: To me, this card says there's something good in front of me, but I don't think I deserve it, so i don't go for it. I simply trudge by in anguish, trying to not even look at it. I have a bad issue in which, if I don't feel that I can do something correctly, I simply won't do it. Whether it be learning to do something new, getting an assignment done, or even just conversing with people, if failure is a likely outcome, then I'd rather stay at the bottom of the ladder than have to fall off of it several times trying to get to the top.
Eight of Swords: Another poke at my anxiety, since the character here is blindfolded, surrounded by swords, I see myself in a dangerous situation. Not only am I surrounded by swords, but I also can't see where they are, and so I'm doubly fucked. Thinking about this also reminded me that the swords often stand for disillusionment, so it could also imply that by avoiding reality, I'm keeping myself constantly stuck in the same spot. So my options are to move, and hope that reality doesn't stab me, or I can shimmy out of those ropes and find a way around those swords.
Ten of Cups: Nothing like a good, happy ending. One thing I always wonder about this card is who they're waving at. While it looks like they're waving hello, and walking towards someone, something about the card always gives me a feeling of catharsis, like the worst is over and the sun's finally come out again. So when I see her waving, I always think of her waving goodbye, like this is the end of one thing, and the beginning of another. The fact that she's waving means that, even though it was a rough bout, she feels it was worth the effort, and appreciates the past for the sake of a learning experience.
So, to summarize:
The day starts out pretty well. My dreams were cool, I'm pepped up and ready to go. Along the way, I have to come to terms with the fact that I can achieve things, and that I need to open my eyes to what's going on around me. If I can do all this, then things will turn out pretty damned well in the end, and hopefully I can wave goodbye to all these insecurities, and wave hello to something new, perhaps a new man, if I really go for it.
This is a lot to achieve in one day. I guess I'd better get started.