(no subject)
This is something that I was thinking after the thing on weirdjews tonight. Which unfortunately, yet again, made all the warm fuzzies about jews and community go away. I hope they come back soon.
Anyway, I know generally in religious communities (from what I've heard -- correct me if I'm wrong please!) The letter of the law comes first rather than the idea of the law (ok, it's an expression I forget). In other words, one should do first then understand. This is exactly the opposite way I have become more religious. I learned (mostly through livejournal if you can believe it), read as much as I could and tried to rationalize and see how the laws impacted me and made me feel. And through this, I have been able to grow religiously slowly and actually want to do everything I've done. When anyone tells me I must do "this" I rebel because I want to do it for me before I would do it for anyone else. Perhaps that's a selfish way of looking at things, but when one gives charity, there is the idea that, yes, the charity will benefit someone, but at the same time, giving charity feels so good. There is a huge sense of accomplishment and warmth and I feel the same way about taking on more mitzvot with Judaism. Two years ago I didn't keep kosher, didn't go to shul, did not learn, didn't keep tznius or any of the other laws. None of the laws I do keep are due to someone telling me to do them or even me reading what jews should be doing. They are things I have thought about and do because they make me feel happy and good about myself.
For the record, an old friend of my good friend David volunteered for me to e-mail her my chametz information so that I'm doing that law. I'm not sure how I feel about it since I still think that's 'giving in' to ideas that others are pushing on me, not ones that I am doing because I am/want to be a spiritual person. But I'll do it anyway because I sometimes feel like others take guilt when another jew doesn't do things. Does that make sense? Anyway...
Anyway, I know generally in religious communities (from what I've heard -- correct me if I'm wrong please!) The letter of the law comes first rather than the idea of the law (ok, it's an expression I forget). In other words, one should do first then understand. This is exactly the opposite way I have become more religious. I learned (mostly through livejournal if you can believe it), read as much as I could and tried to rationalize and see how the laws impacted me and made me feel. And through this, I have been able to grow religiously slowly and actually want to do everything I've done. When anyone tells me I must do "this" I rebel because I want to do it for me before I would do it for anyone else. Perhaps that's a selfish way of looking at things, but when one gives charity, there is the idea that, yes, the charity will benefit someone, but at the same time, giving charity feels so good. There is a huge sense of accomplishment and warmth and I feel the same way about taking on more mitzvot with Judaism. Two years ago I didn't keep kosher, didn't go to shul, did not learn, didn't keep tznius or any of the other laws. None of the laws I do keep are due to someone telling me to do them or even me reading what jews should be doing. They are things I have thought about and do because they make me feel happy and good about myself.
For the record, an old friend of my good friend David volunteered for me to e-mail her my chametz information so that I'm doing that law. I'm not sure how I feel about it since I still think that's 'giving in' to ideas that others are pushing on me, not ones that I am doing because I am/want to be a spiritual person. But I'll do it anyway because I sometimes feel like others take guilt when another jew doesn't do things. Does that make sense? Anyway...