(no subject)
I dunno how exactly i feel. It's weird really. I feel, hopeful and determined. But I feel alone and scared that I'm going to fall back into the same old pattern. I unsure of the future, and still think there's a good chance that whatever opportunity comes my way, I'll find a way to blow.
I feel down, and hurt, but not down and out. Life's got a few good hits in, sent me staggering, but now I'm regrouping and reorganizing. I'm trying to find my confidence. I want to gather my pride, and finally be alright with who I am. What I've done and what I do. It's not easy. I'm trying.
Listened to a song by Hinder, and fell in love with it.
"Just go for it, run for it, dive in head first, don't hold back because you might get hurt"
I need to start living by this. No more bullshit, holding back because I'm afraid, or hesitant, or whatever.
This song give me hope, makes me feel like there really is something worth fighting for.
Just yesterday Becky said sometimes it sounds like "I've already thrown in the towel, and it's depressing"
Hate to tell you dear, but some days I have. Some days i think of what I am, and quickly come to the conclusion that I am not enough, and never will be for whatever life has in store.
my reply was soemthing to the effect, "some days i feel like throwing in the towel... ...I don't because I keep hoping I'm wrong (about the lack of future and opportunity) but I don't believe I am.
That song makes me feel like it's ok though. Like I can get through this, find a dream, follow it, and just be happy. I dunno if it's true, but I feel like if I truly just go for it, maybe it can be.
Maybe...
I feel down, and hurt, but not down and out. Life's got a few good hits in, sent me staggering, but now I'm regrouping and reorganizing. I'm trying to find my confidence. I want to gather my pride, and finally be alright with who I am. What I've done and what I do. It's not easy. I'm trying.
Listened to a song by Hinder, and fell in love with it.
"Just go for it, run for it, dive in head first, don't hold back because you might get hurt"
I need to start living by this. No more bullshit, holding back because I'm afraid, or hesitant, or whatever.
This song give me hope, makes me feel like there really is something worth fighting for.
Just yesterday Becky said sometimes it sounds like "I've already thrown in the towel, and it's depressing"
Hate to tell you dear, but some days I have. Some days i think of what I am, and quickly come to the conclusion that I am not enough, and never will be for whatever life has in store.
my reply was soemthing to the effect, "some days i feel like throwing in the towel... ...I don't because I keep hoping I'm wrong (about the lack of future and opportunity) but I don't believe I am.
That song makes me feel like it's ok though. Like I can get through this, find a dream, follow it, and just be happy. I dunno if it's true, but I feel like if I truly just go for it, maybe it can be.
Maybe...