Guinea Fox
Fun events like cons have a tendancy of highlighting depression, being around people enjoying themselves for comparison. I see people playing and having fun and realize that I really can not think of a single thing that would put me in good mood similar to theirs. Thinking it's time for round 3 of being a drug guinea pig.
It's such a tossup with this stuff. Each drug has its own horrific side effects but the depression itself is also on a level that can't be lived with. At first I thought maybe there was something that would help, but everything has just been a tradeoff and I've pretty much given up the idea that something will work without crippling me in some other way. The -only- thing that has done anything without consequence is this St. John's Wort but it's like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound as far as my situation goes. What else am I gonna do though? Staying where am I right now isn't an option, so gotta do something.
On a random note, over the years I think I've come to believe in bad luck, or maybe karma, as illogical as that is. Random, improbable bad shit just happens so often in my life it's hardly believable. I thought it was just me being negative for a long time but even Lynx has noticed it. Must have done some fucked up stuff in a past life or something, couldn't account for it in this one.
It's such a tossup with this stuff. Each drug has its own horrific side effects but the depression itself is also on a level that can't be lived with. At first I thought maybe there was something that would help, but everything has just been a tradeoff and I've pretty much given up the idea that something will work without crippling me in some other way. The -only- thing that has done anything without consequence is this St. John's Wort but it's like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound as far as my situation goes. What else am I gonna do though? Staying where am I right now isn't an option, so gotta do something.
On a random note, over the years I think I've come to believe in bad luck, or maybe karma, as illogical as that is. Random, improbable bad shit just happens so often in my life it's hardly believable. I thought it was just me being negative for a long time but even Lynx has noticed it. Must have done some fucked up stuff in a past life or something, couldn't account for it in this one.