Amazing what a kitty snuggle can do!
I've been battling a lot of depression lately, it's easy to get into when I start remembering, and when things are tough - and I am VERY tired (no vacation since 2006, and almost non-stop stress since... our last vacation).
I have three special kitties (out of our menagerie) that give more than they receive - you can tell that they snuggle not for their comfort, but because they're being affectionate and showing that they care. Today all three have visited and each time I noticed I felt better.
My Polly (we call her Pollywog) just was snuggling and purring. I think she can tell when I'm getting really down, and she comes and gives me big nose rubs and then snuggles under my chin. It actually makes me feel like something/someone cares!
My Sunshine visited me earlier - it was almost like he was checking in on me and asking "Are you OK?". I got a hug and purr out of him. He's been sticking close to me a lot today.
Tuxie also came and snuggled for a bit. He's a very affectionate cat (looks just like our older cat Miss Boots and we sometimes call him "Mini-me" and Miss Boots "Me" - but completely different personalities. He's also a "giver".
The older I get, the more amazed I am that I'm still alive and halfway functional. I was in my mid 30s when I first experienced forgiveness - throughout my entire life people insisted I had to be punished "otherwise you'll never learn". Many times I was punished for things I didn't even know what they were talking about - or for things I knew about but had nothing to do with!!! That started when I was a little kid and it was a watershed moment when members of my tribe forgave me for making a mistake (one that they said was caused by lack of knowledge) - I was in my mid to late 30s. I still love them, although I hate Christianity even more for turning (some of) them abusive and causing a split between us and our people.
I was in my mid to late 40s when I encountered people who actually treated me like human beings - people who were encouraging, supportive, and understanding - who actually helped and tried to "open doors" for us rather than put barriers in our way (and tell us we had to jump those barriers first, or that we didn't deserve to succeed in what we were attempting). People who didn't criticize every little thing and try to force me (us) into a mold. That goes for both Sue and I - for the first 20 years of our marriage, the only supportive person we had was each other - and there was much pressure at times to break us up. That doesn't mean there weren't some big problems (both of our families are... problematic and created issues for us), but at least we know about those issues and usually try to fight them.
I tell people - and they have a hard time believing this although it's true, that it wasn't until we returned to school and went around liberals that we encountered people who actually LISTENED and tried to help - in the way WE would consider it help (there are people and businesses who think that they're helping you if they succeed in destroying your business and making you poor and homeless!!!).
All my life I've had to take second best, if that good. I think I've had one new vehicle (one that was what we needed) since I started driving. I consider it fortunate to get something that we need - never mind what I'd like.
I experience happiness very rarely - like maybe once every few years (because life is so harsh and a struggle). The last time was last December, when I finished my classwork and could relax for the first time in a couple of years. I actually watched some movies and read some books for fun! (Laugh) people have accused me of only remembering the bad - but those people also can't understand that I DO have good memories, but they're worn thin from using them to help keep me from going too deep.
Anyway, when I start remembering things from the past (or realizing how bad things really are now), it causes deep depression. The good thing is that our kitties seem to also sense that - and our "special kitties" try to help. It's such a small thing, but sometimes the small things make a huge difference!
I have three special kitties (out of our menagerie) that give more than they receive - you can tell that they snuggle not for their comfort, but because they're being affectionate and showing that they care. Today all three have visited and each time I noticed I felt better.
My Polly (we call her Pollywog) just was snuggling and purring. I think she can tell when I'm getting really down, and she comes and gives me big nose rubs and then snuggles under my chin. It actually makes me feel like something/someone cares!
My Sunshine visited me earlier - it was almost like he was checking in on me and asking "Are you OK?". I got a hug and purr out of him. He's been sticking close to me a lot today.
Tuxie also came and snuggled for a bit. He's a very affectionate cat (looks just like our older cat Miss Boots and we sometimes call him "Mini-me" and Miss Boots "Me" - but completely different personalities. He's also a "giver".
The older I get, the more amazed I am that I'm still alive and halfway functional. I was in my mid 30s when I first experienced forgiveness - throughout my entire life people insisted I had to be punished "otherwise you'll never learn". Many times I was punished for things I didn't even know what they were talking about - or for things I knew about but had nothing to do with!!! That started when I was a little kid and it was a watershed moment when members of my tribe forgave me for making a mistake (one that they said was caused by lack of knowledge) - I was in my mid to late 30s. I still love them, although I hate Christianity even more for turning (some of) them abusive and causing a split between us and our people.
I was in my mid to late 40s when I encountered people who actually treated me like human beings - people who were encouraging, supportive, and understanding - who actually helped and tried to "open doors" for us rather than put barriers in our way (and tell us we had to jump those barriers first, or that we didn't deserve to succeed in what we were attempting). People who didn't criticize every little thing and try to force me (us) into a mold. That goes for both Sue and I - for the first 20 years of our marriage, the only supportive person we had was each other - and there was much pressure at times to break us up. That doesn't mean there weren't some big problems (both of our families are... problematic and created issues for us), but at least we know about those issues and usually try to fight them.
I tell people - and they have a hard time believing this although it's true, that it wasn't until we returned to school and went around liberals that we encountered people who actually LISTENED and tried to help - in the way WE would consider it help (there are people and businesses who think that they're helping you if they succeed in destroying your business and making you poor and homeless!!!).
All my life I've had to take second best, if that good. I think I've had one new vehicle (one that was what we needed) since I started driving. I consider it fortunate to get something that we need - never mind what I'd like.
I experience happiness very rarely - like maybe once every few years (because life is so harsh and a struggle). The last time was last December, when I finished my classwork and could relax for the first time in a couple of years. I actually watched some movies and read some books for fun! (Laugh) people have accused me of only remembering the bad - but those people also can't understand that I DO have good memories, but they're worn thin from using them to help keep me from going too deep.
Anyway, when I start remembering things from the past (or realizing how bad things really are now), it causes deep depression. The good thing is that our kitties seem to also sense that - and our "special kitties" try to help. It's such a small thing, but sometimes the small things make a huge difference!