(FIC) Never let Harvey Dent bartender (G, Batman and Rogues)
Happy birthday damos!!! You are the bestest wombat in all the world and I am so, so happy I have gotten the chance to know you and be your friend. I hope there are many years of joy and laughter ahead of you and all of us, and that we can share them. I bring you silly fic! Not beta'ed so point and I shall correct!
Rating: G
Characters: Selina Kyle, Edward Nigma, Harleen Quinzel, Harvey Dent, Bruce Wayne
Word Count: 1150+
Summary: It's Eddie's birthday. You should never let Harvey Dent bartender.
Selina woke up slowly, feeling like she must have swallowed a rat. Her mouth tasted foul, her throat was dry and her tongue felt three times its size. Her neck was stiff after having slept the whole night in a sitting position, but stretching was out of the question.
She was just not in a moving sort of mood.
In front of her, sprawled in the couch in an uncomfortable looking manner, a man seemed to be lamenting his waking state as well. The bowler was perched on the couch's arm, his jacket nowhere to be seen. Selina knew his tie was somewhere around the hideout/apartment, but she couldn't be sure when was the last time she saw it.
"You. And your birthdays," she said. She swallowed, grimacing at the feeling of her tongue and throat waking to life.
"Harvey. It was... all Harvey," Eddie grumbled. Rehabilitated rogue parties were... not that different from non-rehabilitated rogue parties, actually. Maybe because none of them liked to think of their change of heart as 'rehabilitation', more like... a change of venue. After all, they were still getting what they wanted out of their current activities. Money. Challenges. Kicking ass. Driving Batman crazy. And why not? They had been doing their dance for almost twelve years, some of them. Diversification, that's where survival was. And if they were anything, the people in this room were survivors.
So now they kicked the bad guys' ass instead of the good guys'. So what. As previously-knows-as-badguys themselves, they knew the line was pretty sketchy at best.
"Harvey schmarvey. You and your games. Your stupid, inebriation inducing games."
"I deplore the ingestion of alcohol. It destroys the brain."
"Really. Where were your principles last night, Mr. Straight Guy?"
"Harvey stole them."
Selina grumbled, leaning her head back on the couch and reaching out to rub her scalp. "Aspirins for breakfast. My treat."
Eddie attempted to turn on the couch to lie on his back, but desisted, letting one of his arms dangle from the couch. "Agreed."
"Edward Nigma, you better not turn one year older ever again," a female voice piped from behind Eddie's couch. "We'll just pretend you don't age. Or we'll have normal parties. With candy and piñatas. And cake. Lots of cake."
"I'm too old for this," another voice rose at the left of Selina's couch. She reached out to pet his hair and smiled. She thought he would be gone during the night.
"What about jello shots? Jello is okay for parties," a third voice rose from her right.
"No jello shots. No shots. No jello, just in case you get creative again, Mr. Dent," the voice behind Eddie's couch said.
A silence fell on the room. Selina smiled to herself, warming up to the feeling of friends surrounding her, even in their current grumpy hung over state. To her left, Bruce leaned towards her hand, his skin warm against her.
"What time is it?" Harvey asked.
"Eight twenty five," Bruce answered.
Eddie groaned. "How can that be?"
"That explains why I still feel drunk," Harley said as she rose from behind Eddie, her ponytail a mess, strands of hair falling around her face. She had his tie loosely around her neck, the light green stark against her white jumper dress. "Happy birthday, Eddie."
A rather dispirited chorus rose from the room as they echoed Harley. "Happy birthday, Eddie."
"I missed sunrise," Harley said with a pout, looking out the window behind her. The sky was thankfully overcast. Selina didn't think she could face the day if it was sunny and bright. "We should have stayed up until sunrise," the blonde continued.
"Some of us did, Harley. You didn't miss much," Selina said.
"Except like ten more rounds of Guess Who," Eddie added.
"And four more rounds of shots," Harvey said.
"As I said, you didn't miss much," Selina repeated. "Unless you wanted to see Brucie and Eddie fight over Guess Who."
"Edward cheats," Bruce said defensively.
"I do not. You withhold information."
"Your questions were poorly phrased."
"They were not! If anyone was cheating, it was you."
"Everyone was cheating. I was strategically playing the field."
Eddie made a dismissing 'pfffft' sound.
"I say breakfast is in order," Harvey chipped in. "I'm starving and we have work later today."
"Aww, it's true!" Harley whined. She turned towards Eddie and glared. "Way to go, Eddie, having a birthday on Monday."
"I fail to see how I can be held accountable for that."
By her sides, Bruce and Harvey stood up almost at the same time. Harvey gave Bruce a winning grin and he glared. "No more bartending for you, Dent."
"You have gone soft on me, Brucie. You used to be able to keep up with me in college."
"I used to pretend I was keeping up with you, you mean." He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "I have to get going."
"Not before breakfast," Harvey said, walking around her couch and throwing an arm around his shoulders. She smiled at them. Maybe she should be a little jealous at how Harvey had Bruce wrapped around his little finger, but she was glad to see Harvey healthy. Working as the Athena's Women Shelter lawyer seemed to keep him happy and discretely under their vigilance. And if a healthy Harvey kept Bruce happier, she wasn't going to complain.
"Give me a hand, handsome," she said, still smiling. Bruce helped her up and they picked up their discarded jackets and purses on their way out.
"There's a diner around the corner," Harley said, looping one of her arms with Eddie's. "They serve... eggs, and other kinds of eggs, and... some pie, there's always pie, we should have some birthday pie."
"After coffee, I hope," Selina said.
"I have yet to see my birthday present," Eddie commented with a sly grin towards Harley.
"Is the gift of our company not enough?" Harvey said, stepping outside.
"Not at all," Eddie said. "That's a very nice wrapping. But the gift, the substance? The material compensation to my turning one year closer to the failure of this organic body?"
They stepped outside the building and Selina reached out for Bruce's hand. He was warm against the chilly morning. Harvey flanked her on the other side, and threw Eddie and Harley, who were walking behind them, a dangerous smile. She laughed. "You'll have to guess where they are. We thought you might like that better," she said.
Eddie took one hand to his chest and smiled, pleased. "Oh, Kitten, you fill my heart with joy. What's the first clue?"
"Brucie hid them," Harvey said, still smiling in that way that was slightly deranged, but not in a bad way. Selina liked that smile.
"Happy birthday, Edward," Bruce said.
"Happy birthday, Eddie," she and Harley and Harvey echoed him.
Eddie laughed. In a city full of shades of gray, they brought color and hope for better days, better lives, greater adventures; a never ending fight peppered with strange nights and, unexpectedly enough, strange friends. It wasn't a bad way to spend a life at all.
Rating: G
Characters: Selina Kyle, Edward Nigma, Harleen Quinzel, Harvey Dent, Bruce Wayne
Word Count: 1150+
Summary: It's Eddie's birthday. You should never let Harvey Dent bartender.
Selina woke up slowly, feeling like she must have swallowed a rat. Her mouth tasted foul, her throat was dry and her tongue felt three times its size. Her neck was stiff after having slept the whole night in a sitting position, but stretching was out of the question.
She was just not in a moving sort of mood.
In front of her, sprawled in the couch in an uncomfortable looking manner, a man seemed to be lamenting his waking state as well. The bowler was perched on the couch's arm, his jacket nowhere to be seen. Selina knew his tie was somewhere around the hideout/apartment, but she couldn't be sure when was the last time she saw it.
"You. And your birthdays," she said. She swallowed, grimacing at the feeling of her tongue and throat waking to life.
"Harvey. It was... all Harvey," Eddie grumbled. Rehabilitated rogue parties were... not that different from non-rehabilitated rogue parties, actually. Maybe because none of them liked to think of their change of heart as 'rehabilitation', more like... a change of venue. After all, they were still getting what they wanted out of their current activities. Money. Challenges. Kicking ass. Driving Batman crazy. And why not? They had been doing their dance for almost twelve years, some of them. Diversification, that's where survival was. And if they were anything, the people in this room were survivors.
So now they kicked the bad guys' ass instead of the good guys'. So what. As previously-knows-as-badguys themselves, they knew the line was pretty sketchy at best.
"Harvey schmarvey. You and your games. Your stupid, inebriation inducing games."
"I deplore the ingestion of alcohol. It destroys the brain."
"Really. Where were your principles last night, Mr. Straight Guy?"
"Harvey stole them."
Selina grumbled, leaning her head back on the couch and reaching out to rub her scalp. "Aspirins for breakfast. My treat."
Eddie attempted to turn on the couch to lie on his back, but desisted, letting one of his arms dangle from the couch. "Agreed."
"Edward Nigma, you better not turn one year older ever again," a female voice piped from behind Eddie's couch. "We'll just pretend you don't age. Or we'll have normal parties. With candy and piñatas. And cake. Lots of cake."
"I'm too old for this," another voice rose at the left of Selina's couch. She reached out to pet his hair and smiled. She thought he would be gone during the night.
"What about jello shots? Jello is okay for parties," a third voice rose from her right.
"No jello shots. No shots. No jello, just in case you get creative again, Mr. Dent," the voice behind Eddie's couch said.
A silence fell on the room. Selina smiled to herself, warming up to the feeling of friends surrounding her, even in their current grumpy hung over state. To her left, Bruce leaned towards her hand, his skin warm against her.
"What time is it?" Harvey asked.
"Eight twenty five," Bruce answered.
Eddie groaned. "How can that be?"
"That explains why I still feel drunk," Harley said as she rose from behind Eddie, her ponytail a mess, strands of hair falling around her face. She had his tie loosely around her neck, the light green stark against her white jumper dress. "Happy birthday, Eddie."
A rather dispirited chorus rose from the room as they echoed Harley. "Happy birthday, Eddie."
"I missed sunrise," Harley said with a pout, looking out the window behind her. The sky was thankfully overcast. Selina didn't think she could face the day if it was sunny and bright. "We should have stayed up until sunrise," the blonde continued.
"Some of us did, Harley. You didn't miss much," Selina said.
"Except like ten more rounds of Guess Who," Eddie added.
"And four more rounds of shots," Harvey said.
"As I said, you didn't miss much," Selina repeated. "Unless you wanted to see Brucie and Eddie fight over Guess Who."
"Edward cheats," Bruce said defensively.
"I do not. You withhold information."
"Your questions were poorly phrased."
"They were not! If anyone was cheating, it was you."
"Everyone was cheating. I was strategically playing the field."
Eddie made a dismissing 'pfffft' sound.
"I say breakfast is in order," Harvey chipped in. "I'm starving and we have work later today."
"Aww, it's true!" Harley whined. She turned towards Eddie and glared. "Way to go, Eddie, having a birthday on Monday."
"I fail to see how I can be held accountable for that."
By her sides, Bruce and Harvey stood up almost at the same time. Harvey gave Bruce a winning grin and he glared. "No more bartending for you, Dent."
"You have gone soft on me, Brucie. You used to be able to keep up with me in college."
"I used to pretend I was keeping up with you, you mean." He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "I have to get going."
"Not before breakfast," Harvey said, walking around her couch and throwing an arm around his shoulders. She smiled at them. Maybe she should be a little jealous at how Harvey had Bruce wrapped around his little finger, but she was glad to see Harvey healthy. Working as the Athena's Women Shelter lawyer seemed to keep him happy and discretely under their vigilance. And if a healthy Harvey kept Bruce happier, she wasn't going to complain.
"Give me a hand, handsome," she said, still smiling. Bruce helped her up and they picked up their discarded jackets and purses on their way out.
"There's a diner around the corner," Harley said, looping one of her arms with Eddie's. "They serve... eggs, and other kinds of eggs, and... some pie, there's always pie, we should have some birthday pie."
"After coffee, I hope," Selina said.
"I have yet to see my birthday present," Eddie commented with a sly grin towards Harley.
"Is the gift of our company not enough?" Harvey said, stepping outside.
"Not at all," Eddie said. "That's a very nice wrapping. But the gift, the substance? The material compensation to my turning one year closer to the failure of this organic body?"
They stepped outside the building and Selina reached out for Bruce's hand. He was warm against the chilly morning. Harvey flanked her on the other side, and threw Eddie and Harley, who were walking behind them, a dangerous smile. She laughed. "You'll have to guess where they are. We thought you might like that better," she said.
Eddie took one hand to his chest and smiled, pleased. "Oh, Kitten, you fill my heart with joy. What's the first clue?"
"Brucie hid them," Harvey said, still smiling in that way that was slightly deranged, but not in a bad way. Selina liked that smile.
"Happy birthday, Edward," Bruce said.
"Happy birthday, Eddie," she and Harley and Harvey echoed him.
Eddie laughed. In a city full of shades of gray, they brought color and hope for better days, better lives, greater adventures; a never ending fight peppered with strange nights and, unexpectedly enough, strange friends. It wasn't a bad way to spend a life at all.