Meh
I just really cant keep this mess outta my head right now. Im going to give it the 2 weeks and then talk to her about it but this shit is really hard. I never thought that a break ould mean that I couldn't talk to her as much. How am I supposed to deal with that. The only way for me to be alright about not talking to her as much is if i get over it. And if i get over that, Im just terrified that it means that im going to be geting over her. And I dont even want to start that. Thats my baby and no one else's. Thats my baby and no one else is. I just hope she finds what she's looking for between now and then. I dont know if I can handle this. And I was thinking today about what is going to happen next year when she goes to effin London for a semester. Will she not talk to me as much? I just feel like she's really got me by the balls right now. I would thinkin that being so busy lately would take my mind off of it. But it dosen't. It just makes me miss her more and more. HOW CAN SHE FEEL Alright? Is she ovr me or us? God im just so paranoid. Im scarred. I suppose its like getting poisoned and having the antidote in your hand. For that instant you might die. And then you take the antidote and just wonder. Am i going to live through this? Fuk thats emo but im just so scared. I found out that the weekend after the florida state gam I could come down and see her cause its a thursday game, but would she want to see me? It just seems like she wouldnt. Maybe she would have plans? Maybe that is going to far. I hope this turns out like david and her. I hope she comes back, but this time her boyfriend will say yes yes yes. Because I love you alot. And your the only girl for me. I could make it down the 6,7,8th of october. But i just dont feel like she wants to see me right now. I think she wants and needs her time. And all I want is to be with her. For her to call me buni and tell me how much she loves me. I just want things back the way they were. I hope she knows just what she doing to me. It sucks.