I am made of fail!
As i get older i am starting to accept the fact that i will never be a confident person. It's something i've always struggled with. I feel inadequate; dumb; and a whole of other words that if i continue to type them out will result in me crying & i have to leave for work in a few minutes or another thing i'll be will be LATE! And blotchy-faced.
Oh how i envy others who appear confident & self-assured. I wonder if people can see through me when i'm faking the same?
I was foolish for a long time thinking that it would come with age, thinking that it was something a younger Penny suffered due to being young & having less life experience. Some things have come with age--like it's not so much an issue now to casually talk with various people, at least when i'm in a situation where i HAVE to, because naturally it's in my make-up to avoid such things. ::weak snicker::
Mostly i wish i wouldn't be so damn hard on myself. But mainly it's that, that i've come to realize, that will never change. & that's damn depressing.
Oh how i envy others who appear confident & self-assured. I wonder if people can see through me when i'm faking the same?
I was foolish for a long time thinking that it would come with age, thinking that it was something a younger Penny suffered due to being young & having less life experience. Some things have come with age--like it's not so much an issue now to casually talk with various people, at least when i'm in a situation where i HAVE to, because naturally it's in my make-up to avoid such things. ::weak snicker::
Mostly i wish i wouldn't be so damn hard on myself. But mainly it's that, that i've come to realize, that will never change. & that's damn depressing.