What an exhausting day.
For no reason really. It just was. Dragged my butt all day. Managed a couple or 3 loads of laundry, then discovered that i'm out of water softener salt, as i went to unload the dishwasher only to find the dishes were as still gungy as they were going in. So i'll have to hand wash everything tomorrow. No way i was doing that today! (there's not a chore i LOATHE more than washing dishes--have to say that!) And i hate getting water softener salt too--the bags are so damn heavy, and you can't get just one. oh no. & you have to heave them all into your cart, then load them all into the vehicle, then one by one, lug them into the house & haul down to the basement. What a pain in the ass.
I'm also not in my best of moods today. (if ya hadn't figured that out yet. :-/) Again no reason, just am. (Well to be completely honest, i started my period this morning, so that may have a little sumpin to do with it--but the "dragging my butt" thing is pretty typical of any day.) I'm generally feeling just sapped of energy for i swear the longest time now....I can't even ball park when it started it's been so long. A couple years now at least. I wonder if it had to do with all the *stuff* i'd dealt with regarding my mom pretty much ever since my dad passed (Feb.2009). And i mean, i actually DO think about it & try to process it all still, even though my mom has finally seemed to find her own footing the last few months & has leaned on me considerably less. (Can't help but feel absolute DREAD still when the phone rings.) But it's helped that she has made a couple good friends that communicate with her daily & always involve her in thier activities. Which is very nice. I'm happy to see it. But it's like i've still not been able to replenish what was all used up inside me. Whatever that was. I hope i see it return someday or i fear i'll just spend each day of the rest of my life, chasing my tail & getting nowhere fast. hmm... I can also recall 2 seperate dream images i've had this past week of my dad. I thought more of them upon waking & when i could remember more detail than i can now...now it seems all i can really remember is having them. I can't really now place the exact images which disappoints me i have to say. :-/
Things i want to make note of:
-Walking Dead restarted tonight & Gord, Samantha & I enjoyed it. We'll be glued to the tv again same time next week. Still very much wanting to read the graphic novels but after 3 attempts, my local library still won't stock them. *razzies*
-Got the twins each another hampster. (a little back story--they each saved their own money to buy hampsters themselves last year, but something very odd happened--the hampsters each passed away on the same day, both apparently in their sleep, while in seperate cages. so odd. I still wonder if the twins may have fed them something they shouldn't have, but they say they didn't.) Lindsay was devestated, Michael took it much better, but they were both quite surprised when we came home this afternoon with 2 cute teddy bear hampsters that they named Smores (Michaels) & Fluffy (Lindsay) (Their previous hampsters were called Zipper & Lightning--tho i'm not sure at all now whose was whose.)
-got dumped on this weekend with a crapload of snow. Gord even did the belt in on the snowblower. This was the first it had run in 3 years, & the second run of the day Gord made with it, the belt snapped. He hasn't yet replaced it, but he did buy another shovel. Yah. I hope we won't need either of them. I'm so done with winter. DONE!
I'm also not in my best of moods today. (if ya hadn't figured that out yet. :-/) Again no reason, just am. (Well to be completely honest, i started my period this morning, so that may have a little sumpin to do with it--but the "dragging my butt" thing is pretty typical of any day.) I'm generally feeling just sapped of energy for i swear the longest time now....I can't even ball park when it started it's been so long. A couple years now at least. I wonder if it had to do with all the *stuff* i'd dealt with regarding my mom pretty much ever since my dad passed (Feb.2009). And i mean, i actually DO think about it & try to process it all still, even though my mom has finally seemed to find her own footing the last few months & has leaned on me considerably less. (Can't help but feel absolute DREAD still when the phone rings.) But it's helped that she has made a couple good friends that communicate with her daily & always involve her in thier activities. Which is very nice. I'm happy to see it. But it's like i've still not been able to replenish what was all used up inside me. Whatever that was. I hope i see it return someday or i fear i'll just spend each day of the rest of my life, chasing my tail & getting nowhere fast. hmm... I can also recall 2 seperate dream images i've had this past week of my dad. I thought more of them upon waking & when i could remember more detail than i can now...now it seems all i can really remember is having them. I can't really now place the exact images which disappoints me i have to say. :-/
Things i want to make note of:
-Walking Dead restarted tonight & Gord, Samantha & I enjoyed it. We'll be glued to the tv again same time next week. Still very much wanting to read the graphic novels but after 3 attempts, my local library still won't stock them. *razzies*
-Got the twins each another hampster. (a little back story--they each saved their own money to buy hampsters themselves last year, but something very odd happened--the hampsters each passed away on the same day, both apparently in their sleep, while in seperate cages. so odd. I still wonder if the twins may have fed them something they shouldn't have, but they say they didn't.) Lindsay was devestated, Michael took it much better, but they were both quite surprised when we came home this afternoon with 2 cute teddy bear hampsters that they named Smores (Michaels) & Fluffy (Lindsay) (Their previous hampsters were called Zipper & Lightning--tho i'm not sure at all now whose was whose.)
-got dumped on this weekend with a crapload of snow. Gord even did the belt in on the snowblower. This was the first it had run in 3 years, & the second run of the day Gord made with it, the belt snapped. He hasn't yet replaced it, but he did buy another shovel. Yah. I hope we won't need either of them. I'm so done with winter. DONE!