I hope you don't mind me offering a comment, as your internet friend of what, 3 years? Which is practically a lifetime in human years! And someone who struggles with some of these issues too. I reckon it's pretty good going to recognise when a longheld way of thinking doesn't serve you well, and make efforts to change it. But I also reckon it's ok to cut yourself some slack just because previously you didn't have the knowledge. Insert here some wise words stolen from someone else about life being a progression of personal growth and how we don't spring fully formed from our father's head or our mother's side
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At first you notice only the most blatant issues, then your awareness evolves to recognize more subtle ones or goes from external to internal awareness of your own ingrained behavior. Couldn't agree more. For me, I often need an external push to even realise my ingrained behaviour needs changing. Like, don't even get me started on privilege and my ignorance in that regard
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For me, I often need an external push to even realise my ingrained behaviour needs changing.
Yeah, I think that's part of my embarrassment because I didn't even have the faintest idea.. this comment I got on "5 Times Dean Acted Like a Girl" kind of woke my brain up to the idea that maybe I needed to examine some things.
I didn't mean that you were issuing a blanket statement about slash :) I was just speaking generically - every now and then, someone will issue what they regard as the definitive problem with slash, and I always think there is a 'yeah, but what about....'
Don't worry, I know you didn't! I think it's an important discussion to have and I want to try to see all the facets of it - absolutely there are a ton of reasons why and they differ across writers but it does seem like a phenomenon, doesn't it? So many women writing slash.
Dude, stockholm syndrome is the perfect description for this!!Dude! I am glad because I didn't really think it through when I wrote Stockholm Syndrome the first time, I only spelled it out
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this comment I got on "5 Times Dean Acted Like a Girl" kind of woke my brain up to the idea that maybe I needed to examine some things.
Heh that makes me think of a whole subset of the 'women writing slash' debate, which comes up regularly - are the male characters even male once they've finished with them? People talk about the way slash writers feminise male characters (not that I'm saying you do this! Of course!) and it always opens up into something really interesting - ie men can cry and be affectionate too and still be masculine, and women can be insulted that other women assume that mincing, bitching and leaning on a man to look after them are particularly female traits.
Re 'dudette' - nasty! That's like 'poetess' and authoress' - rather patronising diminutives for women who try to fill men's roles :)
Wow there's some good thunder and lightening going on here (in London, not LJ!)
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Yeah, I think that's part of my embarrassment because I didn't even have the faintest idea.. this comment I got on "5 Times Dean Acted Like a Girl" kind of woke my brain up to the idea that maybe I needed to examine some things.
I didn't mean that you were issuing a blanket statement about slash :) I was just speaking generically - every now and then, someone will issue what they regard as the definitive problem with slash, and I always think there is a 'yeah, but what about....'
Don't worry, I know you didn't! I think it's an important discussion to have and I want to try to see all the facets of it - absolutely there are a ton of reasons why and they differ across writers but it does seem like a phenomenon, doesn't it? So many women writing slash.
Dude, stockholm syndrome is the perfect description for this!!Dude! I am glad because I didn't really think it through when I wrote Stockholm Syndrome the first time, I only spelled it out ( ... )
Reply
Heh that makes me think of a whole subset of the 'women writing slash' debate, which comes up regularly - are the male characters even male once they've finished with them? People talk about the way slash writers feminise male characters (not that I'm saying you do this! Of course!) and it always opens up into something really interesting - ie men can cry and be affectionate too and still be masculine, and women can be insulted that other women assume that mincing, bitching and leaning on a man to look after them are particularly female traits.
Re 'dudette' - nasty! That's like 'poetess' and authoress' - rather patronising diminutives for women who try to fill men's roles :)
Wow there's some good thunder and lightening going on here (in London, not LJ!)
Reply
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