mundane vs. magic
Felled all week by a nasty cold, really since last Saturday I've been ill, went to the on-call Dr. today and she does not do me the comfort of agreeing it is strep or mono, she refuses to give me antibiotics1, instead I must wait til Monday when tests will probably show nothing2, vicious headache all day adding insult to injury; I am frustrated by wrestling with newly installed cable modem to bend it to the will of my wireless network3; my iPod has decided that now is an appropriate time to become a paperweight; all my checks for the closing hit at once and the movers took my cushion4 so I am skating on the edge of my checking plus overdraft protection5; and in a cold-induced delirium I gave the wrong zip code when I changed my address at Citibank, now I will have to pay for new checks yet again.
Yet I step out onto the terrace before retiring and suddenly all my petty concerns fall away: the sky is a magnificent deep navy, the color of the sea in the Caribbean at night, somehow at 1 am the clouds are awesomely white and even pink-tinged against it, like giant puffs of cotton-candy, and a crescent moon rides above them so clear and bright, I can actually see the tops of the clouds below it edged and luminous in 3-D, it's like the Dreamworks logo for fuck's sake, I feel like Spielberg whipped this moon up in his CGI lab. The light is strange and otherworldly all around, I can see some lights here and there on my fellow buildings, one dim-flickering bluely in tv-glare, another a bright bedside lamp right in the window, shining out at me warm as butterscotch. Someone is playing searchlights over to the east, they stab through the clouds like fingers, like something out of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow6. I turn to scan the cityscape behind my little attic room7 and catch my breath in wonder - the fabulous old building I was just admiring this afternoon has lit their plane warning lamps, on each peak they burn coldly like witchlight, the place looks like an old castle in the dark, with shreds of cloud enveloping its crenellations and a single square of incandescent light glowing yellowly below, conjuring up waxed paper for windowpanes and the smoky torches or oil lanterns of a watchman at the gate. I could watch it all night, but my mundane world calls quietly but persistently8 and I drag myself away from the fairyland outside to write this post.
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1 - I am spoilt by my GP who gives them to me on demand for my hypochondria, yes I fear I am one of those people who is making antibiotic-resistant germs by abusing antibiotics
2 - except malingering - but thank God there's no test for that
3 - refusing on principle to pay the measly yet somehow still extortionate $10 for an additional computer hookup
4 - I tried to put it on credit but the CC company called to verify (as well they should, a 4k charge out of nowhere is certainly suspicious) but I was in Jackson-fucking-ville, FL (see previous rant in footnote 3 of my last entry) so did not get their message left on my home phone and since move was the next day and movers didn't take Discover, was forced to give them my debit card like an idiot
5 - something is going to bounce any minute now, I know it, yet I am paralyzed in the face of this disaster, because if I can just hold out a little bit longer some other things will come through to make it okay
6 - which despite its flaws was a beautiful-looking movie, I will totally grant it that
7 - north-west, I think?
8 - torrents are finishing and DVDs are burning, missed episodes of my beloved shows are waiting
Yet I step out onto the terrace before retiring and suddenly all my petty concerns fall away: the sky is a magnificent deep navy, the color of the sea in the Caribbean at night, somehow at 1 am the clouds are awesomely white and even pink-tinged against it, like giant puffs of cotton-candy, and a crescent moon rides above them so clear and bright, I can actually see the tops of the clouds below it edged and luminous in 3-D, it's like the Dreamworks logo for fuck's sake, I feel like Spielberg whipped this moon up in his CGI lab. The light is strange and otherworldly all around, I can see some lights here and there on my fellow buildings, one dim-flickering bluely in tv-glare, another a bright bedside lamp right in the window, shining out at me warm as butterscotch. Someone is playing searchlights over to the east, they stab through the clouds like fingers, like something out of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow6. I turn to scan the cityscape behind my little attic room7 and catch my breath in wonder - the fabulous old building I was just admiring this afternoon has lit their plane warning lamps, on each peak they burn coldly like witchlight, the place looks like an old castle in the dark, with shreds of cloud enveloping its crenellations and a single square of incandescent light glowing yellowly below, conjuring up waxed paper for windowpanes and the smoky torches or oil lanterns of a watchman at the gate. I could watch it all night, but my mundane world calls quietly but persistently8 and I drag myself away from the fairyland outside to write this post.
-------------------------
1 - I am spoilt by my GP who gives them to me on demand for my hypochondria, yes I fear I am one of those people who is making antibiotic-resistant germs by abusing antibiotics
2 - except malingering - but thank God there's no test for that
3 - refusing on principle to pay the measly yet somehow still extortionate $10 for an additional computer hookup
4 - I tried to put it on credit but the CC company called to verify (as well they should, a 4k charge out of nowhere is certainly suspicious) but I was in Jackson-fucking-ville, FL (see previous rant in footnote 3 of my last entry) so did not get their message left on my home phone and since move was the next day and movers didn't take Discover, was forced to give them my debit card like an idiot
5 - something is going to bounce any minute now, I know it, yet I am paralyzed in the face of this disaster, because if I can just hold out a little bit longer some other things will come through to make it okay
6 - which despite its flaws was a beautiful-looking movie, I will totally grant it that
7 - north-west, I think?
8 - torrents are finishing and DVDs are burning, missed episodes of my beloved shows are waiting