SGA Season 3: The back half (also SG-1 10.20 Unending)
OK I apologize for spamming but I have to record my thoughts on the past run of 'Lantis eps and the SG-1 series finale.
Wow, wow, wow, WOW! I cannot believe, I simply cannot fucking BELIEVE how much I enjoyed these past 10 eps overall. The writers just kept cranking up the gay until I was absolutely flabbergasted. Keep in mind that my expectations for SGA have been adjusted to the point where I don't even really expect a coherent plot, logical behavior or any signs of advanced intelligence on the part of the characters. I'm here for the pretty, the one-liners and Teh Gay. I learned last season that expecting more of this show just makes you frustrated. It's like Smallville in that way. But it worked! Once again I ♥ my big gay show. But since I've already reviewed 11-15, this is just the last 5 eps.
3.16 - THE ARK squee-meter: ♥ ♥
In which a whole lotta nothing happens. They trot out the tired old "X hours earlier" schtick. Shep and Ronon make a pact to fight to the death. Attempted touching and dramatic A-plot involving a hero's attempt to rescue his entire civilization fails miserably, I am mostly bored. This was a cute exchange:
McKAY (chuckling happily after doing the exact opposite of what Shep told him to do): You said you wanted to take a closer look at that shuttle.
SHEPPARD: I did not!
McKAY: Ah, well, you were thinkin’ it.
Oh yeah, and Rodney likes Macs! That made me LOLZ. *gives an extra ♥ - I'm easy* I liked Rodney's dialogue in general this episode, like when Lorne's coming to get them and John says, "You guys hear that?" and Rodney says, "Yay! Faint hope!"
3.17 - SUNDAY squee-meter: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
In which Sheppard reveals he is gay as a grasshopper, and possibly hot for Ronon. Ronon outs himself as a Teylshep (or is it Shepla?) shipper. Some other stuff happens, a buncha forced-seeming het (some involving a bearded Poor Man's Noah Wiley) and Carson is killed by an exploding tumor (yes, WTF writers. Srsly!). Then Carson is revealed (posthumously) to have been Rodney's BFF. However the dress blues almost make up for it. There are a LOT of annoying time jumps to crank up the drama. However nothing can kill my love for this episode. NOTHING!
3.18 - SUBMERSION squee-meter: ♥ ♥ 1/2
In which Lizzie comes along for no good reason except Contrivance, in the tradition of useless very important and non-fighting civilians such as Carson. WraithQueen!Teyla pretends to be hitting on Ronon, to total bemusement on his part, causing dozens of Teyla/Ronon shippers cry themselves to sleep. John references The Abyss (♥!). Rodney references Batman again. The vast majority of the ep was horribly boring but I love this exchange on the part of Rodney & Zelenka:
McKAY: Zelenka, what are you doing?
ZELENKA (from another Control Room): Uh, what do you mean, what am I doing?
As if he was thinking Rodney would say something like, "What you do in the privacy of your own quarters is not my business, but stop jerking off in strange control rooms! It's just gross, not to mention unsanitary." And Sheppard says he hates queens! I forgot about that until just now when reading the transcript. HA HA HA HA I love it. Also, you gotta love any ep that ends with Team Shep napping together!
3.19 - VENGEANCE squee-meter: ♥
In which Aquarium Team Hungerforce STILL hasn't learned that what they did to Michael was fucked-up and will continue to haunt them until they deal with it. Also, McKay calls Sheppard "Butch", finally ending the ageless debate over who wears the pants in their relationship. This is the main thing of interest to me in this episode. Oh yeah, and Ronon playing Obi-Wan to Rodney's Luke was pretty funny. (Rodney's sheer terror reminded me of myself in gym class. I always ducked when the volleyball came at my head, because HELLO? Large object flying directly at me? Hells yeah I'm gonna duck!) I was mildly amused when Ronon goes "Stand back" and shoots the shit out of that door and John goes, "Jeez! You mind giving us a little more heads-up before you start blasting everything?!" JF's delivery of that line just cracked me up. Also John references Alien, heeee, that was exactly what the BF said when he saw those airshafts. Michael in and of himself is boring, so I didn't pay much attention to him.
3.20 - FIRST STRIKE squee-meter: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
In which we learn that John is a closet McLenka shipper. Y'all, I don't care what the hell dumbass thing Team McShep does or Lizzie says or even the new black Anti!Caldwell trying to rain on everyone's parade, this episode is fucking genius because John actually said, "Why don't you two just make out already". And he was totally jealous!! I'm tempted to give it another ♥ just for that. If I'm forced to actually assess the rest of the ep I would say it was about 25% boring and 75% predictable. But everything was so PRETTY! (except Lizzie's hair, which was inexplicably godawful.) And John flew the city in the big spinning chair of hot hot SEX, and the city looked so beautiful like a jellyfish in space. Oh, it was worth it for that alone. *gives another ♥* Oh yeah, but I missed Skinner. His grouchy hotass makes the military bullshit somewhat endurable. Plus everyone knows he LURVES Lizzie and that's always good for a larf. This new dude is annoying and sadly, can't act. Although I liked it when he's trying to tempt John to the dark side and John's all like, "But I like raging against the machine man". *scrunchy eyebrows of puzzlement* And John geeked out AGAIN by comparing the team to the Fantastic Four. I love all these callouts, they're so funny and so well-done. Oh yeah, and Dr. Kaylee shows up for about 5 minutes, looking very blonde and insecure ("She's very Sarah Chalke" says the BF) and it was too soon, for me anyway - and I didn't even like Carson all that much - I wish they'd just waited until the premiere to introduce her.
Oh yeah, and SG-1 finally pulled the plug. I had mixed feelings about this ep.
SG-1 10.20 Unending: I don't even have a squee-meter for this one. There was no squee, really. Maybe a little for Teal'c and all the Teal'c love he got at the end. I mean, on the one hand it was a clever idea, and there's a LOT of fic that can be written about those 50 years (it's very juicy that way), but I do feel cheated that there wasn't even a HINT of all the sex they must have had, I mean, COME ON. Mitchell and Sam totally did it, Vala surely slept her way through both Teal'c and Mitchell, and if Teal'c and Daniel didn't fuck I will eat my hat. Daniel pretending to hate Vala and then getting it on was lame. I was like "Oh, so now No means Yes, huh Daniel?" I agree with those that said the absence of Jack was glaring and obvious and wrong. Also Hammond should have been there. I did like the effect of the beam paused and about to hit them - it was a mirror of the beam on 'Lantis, now that I think about it - it just looked cool and trippy. The Asgard are not gone, damn it! I refuse to believe that. There's no fucking way Thor isn't going to go hang out with Jack for a while. The whole time everyone was bitching about Sam's taking so long to figure it out, I was saying, "Why isn't Daniel helping her?!?" That was dumb. WTF was Daniel doing, anyway? Was he just like, reading for fun, or what? Surely if anyone could rebuild Merlin's weapon it would be him. I will admit it was amusing when Vala said, "Surely I hooked up with someone?" And I liked that it was open-ended. Even though it's a cheesy, obvious setup for the movies, still, it was nice to see them heading off into the gate. Reminded me of Buffy a little. I still want to go back and watch the classic eps though, back when the Jack/Daniel Gay flowed freely and much cheesiness was forgiven. And I hope they can get RDA to come back for the movies. *is unspoiled*
Wow, wow, wow, WOW! I cannot believe, I simply cannot fucking BELIEVE how much I enjoyed these past 10 eps overall. The writers just kept cranking up the gay until I was absolutely flabbergasted. Keep in mind that my expectations for SGA have been adjusted to the point where I don't even really expect a coherent plot, logical behavior or any signs of advanced intelligence on the part of the characters. I'm here for the pretty, the one-liners and Teh Gay. I learned last season that expecting more of this show just makes you frustrated. It's like Smallville in that way. But it worked! Once again I ♥ my big gay show. But since I've already reviewed 11-15, this is just the last 5 eps.
3.16 - THE ARK squee-meter: ♥ ♥
In which a whole lotta nothing happens. They trot out the tired old "X hours earlier" schtick. Shep and Ronon make a pact to fight to the death. Attempted touching and dramatic A-plot involving a hero's attempt to rescue his entire civilization fails miserably, I am mostly bored. This was a cute exchange:
McKAY (chuckling happily after doing the exact opposite of what Shep told him to do): You said you wanted to take a closer look at that shuttle.
SHEPPARD: I did not!
McKAY: Ah, well, you were thinkin’ it.
Oh yeah, and Rodney likes Macs! That made me LOLZ. *gives an extra ♥ - I'm easy* I liked Rodney's dialogue in general this episode, like when Lorne's coming to get them and John says, "You guys hear that?" and Rodney says, "Yay! Faint hope!"
3.17 - SUNDAY squee-meter: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
In which Sheppard reveals he is gay as a grasshopper, and possibly hot for Ronon. Ronon outs himself as a Teylshep (or is it Shepla?) shipper. Some other stuff happens, a buncha forced-seeming het (some involving a bearded Poor Man's Noah Wiley) and Carson is killed by an exploding tumor (yes, WTF writers. Srsly!). Then Carson is revealed (posthumously) to have been Rodney's BFF. However the dress blues almost make up for it. There are a LOT of annoying time jumps to crank up the drama. However nothing can kill my love for this episode. NOTHING!
3.18 - SUBMERSION squee-meter: ♥ ♥ 1/2
In which Lizzie comes along for no good reason except Contrivance, in the tradition of useless very important and non-fighting civilians such as Carson. WraithQueen!Teyla pretends to be hitting on Ronon, to total bemusement on his part, causing dozens of Teyla/Ronon shippers cry themselves to sleep. John references The Abyss (♥!). Rodney references Batman again. The vast majority of the ep was horribly boring but I love this exchange on the part of Rodney & Zelenka:
McKAY: Zelenka, what are you doing?
ZELENKA (from another Control Room): Uh, what do you mean, what am I doing?
As if he was thinking Rodney would say something like, "What you do in the privacy of your own quarters is not my business, but stop jerking off in strange control rooms! It's just gross, not to mention unsanitary." And Sheppard says he hates queens! I forgot about that until just now when reading the transcript. HA HA HA HA I love it. Also, you gotta love any ep that ends with Team Shep napping together!
3.19 - VENGEANCE squee-meter: ♥
In which Aquarium Team Hungerforce STILL hasn't learned that what they did to Michael was fucked-up and will continue to haunt them until they deal with it. Also, McKay calls Sheppard "Butch", finally ending the ageless debate over who wears the pants in their relationship. This is the main thing of interest to me in this episode. Oh yeah, and Ronon playing Obi-Wan to Rodney's Luke was pretty funny. (Rodney's sheer terror reminded me of myself in gym class. I always ducked when the volleyball came at my head, because HELLO? Large object flying directly at me? Hells yeah I'm gonna duck!) I was mildly amused when Ronon goes "Stand back" and shoots the shit out of that door and John goes, "Jeez! You mind giving us a little more heads-up before you start blasting everything?!" JF's delivery of that line just cracked me up. Also John references Alien, heeee, that was exactly what the BF said when he saw those airshafts. Michael in and of himself is boring, so I didn't pay much attention to him.
3.20 - FIRST STRIKE squee-meter: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
In which we learn that John is a closet McLenka shipper. Y'all, I don't care what the hell dumbass thing Team McShep does or Lizzie says or even the new black Anti!Caldwell trying to rain on everyone's parade, this episode is fucking genius because John actually said, "Why don't you two just make out already". And he was totally jealous!! I'm tempted to give it another ♥ just for that. If I'm forced to actually assess the rest of the ep I would say it was about 25% boring and 75% predictable. But everything was so PRETTY! (except Lizzie's hair, which was inexplicably godawful.) And John flew the city in the big spinning chair of hot hot SEX, and the city looked so beautiful like a jellyfish in space. Oh, it was worth it for that alone. *gives another ♥* Oh yeah, but I missed Skinner. His grouchy hotass makes the military bullshit somewhat endurable. Plus everyone knows he LURVES Lizzie and that's always good for a larf. This new dude is annoying and sadly, can't act. Although I liked it when he's trying to tempt John to the dark side and John's all like, "But I like raging against the machine man". *scrunchy eyebrows of puzzlement* And John geeked out AGAIN by comparing the team to the Fantastic Four. I love all these callouts, they're so funny and so well-done. Oh yeah, and Dr. Kaylee shows up for about 5 minutes, looking very blonde and insecure ("She's very Sarah Chalke" says the BF) and it was too soon, for me anyway - and I didn't even like Carson all that much - I wish they'd just waited until the premiere to introduce her.
Oh yeah, and SG-1 finally pulled the plug. I had mixed feelings about this ep.
SG-1 10.20 Unending: I don't even have a squee-meter for this one. There was no squee, really. Maybe a little for Teal'c and all the Teal'c love he got at the end. I mean, on the one hand it was a clever idea, and there's a LOT of fic that can be written about those 50 years (it's very juicy that way), but I do feel cheated that there wasn't even a HINT of all the sex they must have had, I mean, COME ON. Mitchell and Sam totally did it, Vala surely slept her way through both Teal'c and Mitchell, and if Teal'c and Daniel didn't fuck I will eat my hat. Daniel pretending to hate Vala and then getting it on was lame. I was like "Oh, so now No means Yes, huh Daniel?" I agree with those that said the absence of Jack was glaring and obvious and wrong. Also Hammond should have been there. I did like the effect of the beam paused and about to hit them - it was a mirror of the beam on 'Lantis, now that I think about it - it just looked cool and trippy. The Asgard are not gone, damn it! I refuse to believe that. There's no fucking way Thor isn't going to go hang out with Jack for a while. The whole time everyone was bitching about Sam's taking so long to figure it out, I was saying, "Why isn't Daniel helping her?!?" That was dumb. WTF was Daniel doing, anyway? Was he just like, reading for fun, or what? Surely if anyone could rebuild Merlin's weapon it would be him. I will admit it was amusing when Vala said, "Surely I hooked up with someone?" And I liked that it was open-ended. Even though it's a cheesy, obvious setup for the movies, still, it was nice to see them heading off into the gate. Reminded me of Buffy a little. I still want to go back and watch the classic eps though, back when the Jack/Daniel Gay flowed freely and much cheesiness was forgiven. And I hope they can get RDA to come back for the movies. *is unspoiled*