5X15
I take a break from my normal life to ponder on what Arashi is for me.
Really though, to me, that is what Arashi is. It is the break from my normal, boring, but slightly stressful and infuriating life. It's like the vitamin that I am addicted to, my happy pills - the tumblr stash that makes me smile instantly even during my worst moments. A friend who was once stuck in loneliness asked me if I had something that, when ingested, when seen, made the world a better place instantly in a single snap. And I did. I do. That is Arashi.
I can never be more thankful that I have found Arashi, and it has saved me.
As a fan I've heard of a lot of stories of people who claim that Arashi have saved them from suicide, from depression. I have also heard of people - even fellow Arashi fans - who have been skeptical of these claims, saying that a boy band cannot save you, only you can save yourself. To a certain extent, I agree. There is nobody who can save you but yourself. But the strength that you need in order to become your own rescuer, where do you get that? I get it from Arashi, as many others have. It is not something most will understand, probably having different experiences and circumstances. But to us, to me, Arashi is the force that urges me on. At a certain time in my life Arashi was the only reason I woke up in the morning and struggled to make it through the rest of the day.
I'm past that now. The worst is over. And because the worst is over, I will probably not be as reliant on Arashi as I used to be. In the past, I would check on their updates by the hour, by the day. Now, it would be a rarity to have me checking on them once a week.
I have not stopped being a fan. I will never stop being a fan. It is not something you can push out of your system even at will. It would be like dissecting your thoughts and memories into boxes, and trashing anything that has had to do with being a fan once. But when you're a fan, it seeps into your entire being such that everything you do is enveloped in it. The constant struggle for Ohno's calm. The search for a drive to match Sakurai's. The cultivation of a way of viewing the world the way Ninomiya and Aiba do - a stark and bleak reality matched with bursting optimism. The desire to be able to treat others carefully, the way Matsumoto would. As though every person was priceless, as every person is.
On this day, I try to explain why I am an Arashi fan and why I always will be. I fail, least of all because I find it difficult to express myself. I fail because Arashi is not for one to theorize. It is for one to experience.
On this day, Arashi, thank you for everything.
Really though, to me, that is what Arashi is. It is the break from my normal, boring, but slightly stressful and infuriating life. It's like the vitamin that I am addicted to, my happy pills - the tumblr stash that makes me smile instantly even during my worst moments. A friend who was once stuck in loneliness asked me if I had something that, when ingested, when seen, made the world a better place instantly in a single snap. And I did. I do. That is Arashi.
I can never be more thankful that I have found Arashi, and it has saved me.
As a fan I've heard of a lot of stories of people who claim that Arashi have saved them from suicide, from depression. I have also heard of people - even fellow Arashi fans - who have been skeptical of these claims, saying that a boy band cannot save you, only you can save yourself. To a certain extent, I agree. There is nobody who can save you but yourself. But the strength that you need in order to become your own rescuer, where do you get that? I get it from Arashi, as many others have. It is not something most will understand, probably having different experiences and circumstances. But to us, to me, Arashi is the force that urges me on. At a certain time in my life Arashi was the only reason I woke up in the morning and struggled to make it through the rest of the day.
I'm past that now. The worst is over. And because the worst is over, I will probably not be as reliant on Arashi as I used to be. In the past, I would check on their updates by the hour, by the day. Now, it would be a rarity to have me checking on them once a week.
I have not stopped being a fan. I will never stop being a fan. It is not something you can push out of your system even at will. It would be like dissecting your thoughts and memories into boxes, and trashing anything that has had to do with being a fan once. But when you're a fan, it seeps into your entire being such that everything you do is enveloped in it. The constant struggle for Ohno's calm. The search for a drive to match Sakurai's. The cultivation of a way of viewing the world the way Ninomiya and Aiba do - a stark and bleak reality matched with bursting optimism. The desire to be able to treat others carefully, the way Matsumoto would. As though every person was priceless, as every person is.
On this day, I try to explain why I am an Arashi fan and why I always will be. I fail, least of all because I find it difficult to express myself. I fail because Arashi is not for one to theorize. It is for one to experience.
On this day, Arashi, thank you for everything.