55 - waxrose
Fulfilling a prompt from primroseshows on my thread at the arashi_on fandom fundraiser for Japan earthquake relief. Thank you for your generous donation, and your wonderful prompt! I hope this is satisfying. ♥ Thank you to the lovely littlealex for looking this over for me.
It feels almost like a relief to post this. I think we all need a little laughter in these tense and sad days.
For timeline references, this takes place sometime between Part 49 and Part 50.
It took almost two counties to convince Jun that parking on the shoulder of the highway for the night was a perfectly legitimate way to save on motel fees.
This was, for once, less due to Jun's stubbornness and more because Jun and Aiba were a good half-hour's drive behind them after taking one of Aiba's Special Shortcuts (which had turned out to be a ketchup smear on the map rather than an expressway). It didn't help that the whole conversation had to be conducted by text message.
It's almost midnight by the time the Dart pulls over to the side of the highway, near to a grove of trees - at least, the desert version of trees, which are short and prickly and a bit mean-looking. Ohno is dozing in the backseat against Sho's shoulder as Nino turns off the ignition.
"Here?" Sho asks, slipping off his seatbelt.
"As good a place as any, I guess." Nino thumbs out a quick text to Jun to let him know where they had pulled in. "Want to get out and stretch for a bit?"
Sho hums, petting Ohno's hair. "I'm okay for now."
"Suit yourself." Nino slips over the divide of the front and back, landing rather ungracefully in Sho's lap, getting a yelp out of Sho and a confused snuffle out of a waking Ohno.
"What the hell?" Sho gasps out, massaging his thigh. "That hurt!"
Nino shrugs, moving to make himself comfortable. "More room back here."
"Then why are you sitting in my lap?"
"Oh, Sho-chan," Nino says patiently. "Do we really have to have that talk again?"
"Are we going to have sex?" Ohno wants to know. "Because I might need to wake up a bit first."
"Take your time," Nino says generously, batting off Sho's attempts to block Nino's hands from his fly.
It's a shame, Nino reflects later, that Sho had just started to lose his inhibitions and Ohno had returned to wakefulness when the cop knocked on the car window.
"Well now, gentlemen," the cop says pleasantly. "What do we have here?"
"Well -" Sho begins, slipping briefly into Responsible Adult mode before he realizes he's was lacking pants.
The cop took into the messy tangle of limbs and drew his own conclusions. "Are you aware that you could be charged with Public Indecency under the state bylaws of Nevada?"
"We're not having an orgy!" Sho blurts out.
The cop's eyebrows knit together. Considering how close they were to begin with, it would have only taken the slightest movement. "Can I see your license and registration, sir?"
Nino quickly zips up his jeans and slides back into the front seat, trying to look as presentable as possible. "Could you please be quiet, officer? You might distort the gamma-zeta rays, and it took a long time to get the calibration just right."
"Come again?" the cop says.
"We're UFO hunters," Nino says. "We're trying to connect to the Beyond."
The cop doesn't look convinced. "First time I've ever seen naked UFO hunters."
"Oh, it's all part of the calling ritual," Nino assures him, "It excites them. You need to get in touch with their language frequency, too, you know - lots of high-pitched noises, that sort of thing. That's his job," he jerks his thumb at Sho, who's covering his alien-detecting bits with Ohno's ballcap and furtively trying to locate his jeans.
The cop slides his gaze from Nino to Sho. "Reckon that really works?"
"You could stay and see for yourself," Nino says. "If you're lucky, they might take you to meet their leader. They took Satoshi once, you know."
Ohno nods seriously. "The probes didn't hurt at all."
The Dart is suddenly flooded with light, and the officer backs off for a moment, visibly alarmed. Nino takes the opportunity. "It's them! They've heard our calls."
"Funny," said the cop. "I didn't know aliens drove pick-ups." They all watch as Jun hops out of the truck.
"Only aliens with massive eyebrows."
"What have you done now?" Jun asks as he approaches the Dart. "I hope you weren't speeding."
"Without pants?" Sho retorts under his breath, in a rare show of sarcasm.
"They belong to you?" the cop asks.
Jun takes one look at the tangle in the backseat and sighs. "Unfortunately."
"Better take them to your leader," the cop says. "Or rather, just get'em out of my county."
"May the Great Zoornglaff bestow blessings on you!" Nino calls after him as he heads back to his patrol car.
Once the car is out of sight, Jun turns and leans against the open car window. "Zornglaff?"
"It's the noise that Sho-chan made when the cop knocked on the window," Nino says. "It's not as good as the noises he was making when Satoshi was blowing him, but it was still pretty entertaining. Where's Aiba?"
"Trying to fix the truck's GPS," Jun says. "He somehow changed the language function to Spanish halfway through the drive."
"Gire a la izquierda!" reports a pleasant female robot voice from the cab of Jun's truck.
"That'll teach you to let him navigate."
"You had better not be starting without me," Aiba calls. "Jun, don't let them start anything without me!"
"You just fix my car, or I'll recto your adalente," Jun warns.
"Right away!" Aiba promises. Nino can see him in the rearview mirror tapping buttons furiously. "I had it on Korean a second ago, I'm getting close."
"Seriously," Jun says. "UFO hunters?"
"What was I supposed to say?" Nino asks. "Sorry, officer, I got my hand stuck down his pants trying to find my sense of public decency?"
"Can someone help me find my pants?" Sho asks plaintively.
Jun's mouth twitches into a smile, then resolves itself into an outright grin. "Let's lock Aiba out."
"Good man," Nino says. "Hop on in."
Aiba's cry of indignation is nicely masked by the blare of the car horn as Jun shoves Nino none-too-gently against the steering wheel in a bruising kiss.
It feels almost like a relief to post this. I think we all need a little laughter in these tense and sad days.
For timeline references, this takes place sometime between Part 49 and Part 50.
It took almost two counties to convince Jun that parking on the shoulder of the highway for the night was a perfectly legitimate way to save on motel fees.
This was, for once, less due to Jun's stubbornness and more because Jun and Aiba were a good half-hour's drive behind them after taking one of Aiba's Special Shortcuts (which had turned out to be a ketchup smear on the map rather than an expressway). It didn't help that the whole conversation had to be conducted by text message.
It's almost midnight by the time the Dart pulls over to the side of the highway, near to a grove of trees - at least, the desert version of trees, which are short and prickly and a bit mean-looking. Ohno is dozing in the backseat against Sho's shoulder as Nino turns off the ignition.
"Here?" Sho asks, slipping off his seatbelt.
"As good a place as any, I guess." Nino thumbs out a quick text to Jun to let him know where they had pulled in. "Want to get out and stretch for a bit?"
Sho hums, petting Ohno's hair. "I'm okay for now."
"Suit yourself." Nino slips over the divide of the front and back, landing rather ungracefully in Sho's lap, getting a yelp out of Sho and a confused snuffle out of a waking Ohno.
"What the hell?" Sho gasps out, massaging his thigh. "That hurt!"
Nino shrugs, moving to make himself comfortable. "More room back here."
"Then why are you sitting in my lap?"
"Oh, Sho-chan," Nino says patiently. "Do we really have to have that talk again?"
"Are we going to have sex?" Ohno wants to know. "Because I might need to wake up a bit first."
"Take your time," Nino says generously, batting off Sho's attempts to block Nino's hands from his fly.
It's a shame, Nino reflects later, that Sho had just started to lose his inhibitions and Ohno had returned to wakefulness when the cop knocked on the car window.
"Well now, gentlemen," the cop says pleasantly. "What do we have here?"
"Well -" Sho begins, slipping briefly into Responsible Adult mode before he realizes he's was lacking pants.
The cop took into the messy tangle of limbs and drew his own conclusions. "Are you aware that you could be charged with Public Indecency under the state bylaws of Nevada?"
"We're not having an orgy!" Sho blurts out.
The cop's eyebrows knit together. Considering how close they were to begin with, it would have only taken the slightest movement. "Can I see your license and registration, sir?"
Nino quickly zips up his jeans and slides back into the front seat, trying to look as presentable as possible. "Could you please be quiet, officer? You might distort the gamma-zeta rays, and it took a long time to get the calibration just right."
"Come again?" the cop says.
"We're UFO hunters," Nino says. "We're trying to connect to the Beyond."
The cop doesn't look convinced. "First time I've ever seen naked UFO hunters."
"Oh, it's all part of the calling ritual," Nino assures him, "It excites them. You need to get in touch with their language frequency, too, you know - lots of high-pitched noises, that sort of thing. That's his job," he jerks his thumb at Sho, who's covering his alien-detecting bits with Ohno's ballcap and furtively trying to locate his jeans.
The cop slides his gaze from Nino to Sho. "Reckon that really works?"
"You could stay and see for yourself," Nino says. "If you're lucky, they might take you to meet their leader. They took Satoshi once, you know."
Ohno nods seriously. "The probes didn't hurt at all."
The Dart is suddenly flooded with light, and the officer backs off for a moment, visibly alarmed. Nino takes the opportunity. "It's them! They've heard our calls."
"Funny," said the cop. "I didn't know aliens drove pick-ups." They all watch as Jun hops out of the truck.
"Only aliens with massive eyebrows."
"What have you done now?" Jun asks as he approaches the Dart. "I hope you weren't speeding."
"Without pants?" Sho retorts under his breath, in a rare show of sarcasm.
"They belong to you?" the cop asks.
Jun takes one look at the tangle in the backseat and sighs. "Unfortunately."
"Better take them to your leader," the cop says. "Or rather, just get'em out of my county."
"May the Great Zoornglaff bestow blessings on you!" Nino calls after him as he heads back to his patrol car.
Once the car is out of sight, Jun turns and leans against the open car window. "Zornglaff?"
"It's the noise that Sho-chan made when the cop knocked on the window," Nino says. "It's not as good as the noises he was making when Satoshi was blowing him, but it was still pretty entertaining. Where's Aiba?"
"Trying to fix the truck's GPS," Jun says. "He somehow changed the language function to Spanish halfway through the drive."
"Gire a la izquierda!" reports a pleasant female robot voice from the cab of Jun's truck.
"That'll teach you to let him navigate."
"You had better not be starting without me," Aiba calls. "Jun, don't let them start anything without me!"
"You just fix my car, or I'll recto your adalente," Jun warns.
"Right away!" Aiba promises. Nino can see him in the rearview mirror tapping buttons furiously. "I had it on Korean a second ago, I'm getting close."
"Seriously," Jun says. "UFO hunters?"
"What was I supposed to say?" Nino asks. "Sorry, officer, I got my hand stuck down his pants trying to find my sense of public decency?"
"Can someone help me find my pants?" Sho asks plaintively.
Jun's mouth twitches into a smile, then resolves itself into an outright grin. "Let's lock Aiba out."
"Good man," Nino says. "Hop on in."
Aiba's cry of indignation is nicely masked by the blare of the car horn as Jun shoves Nino none-too-gently against the steering wheel in a bruising kiss.