A piece of me
I feel so old today!
Last night I went to my parent's house and found a family earthquake with my sister as the epicenter.
Mother complains: From some time now Sara is cold to her and rude to my grandmother, thinks only about clothes and friends, don't take no for an answer, watches too much TV and installed msn messenger in her computer against mother's orders .
Sara complains: Mom doesn't let her do anything, watches her from the window when she walks Moria out, our nosy grandmother sleeps in her room and don't give her privacy, all her friends go to parties and have Puma sneakers.
Big sigh.
I took her to our old bedroom and gave her my very first big sister lecture. I've been feeling like her substitute mother ever since she was born but last night I felt it deeply. I found someone I didn't knew in my sister. She is not strong like we were and that is more serious that I thought. The fact that my parent's have been wanting to kill each other all of her life, ruined her emotional stability in a way unknown to me. She confessed she wanted them to get a divorce. I felt so guilty for leaving her alone with them. Me and my brother had each other.
She feels bad so she is rude to everyone and then feels bad for being so. She said she tried to be good but couldn't. Tears were glowing in her eyes. I hugged her.
"You're not bad" I said "You're just going through that awful silly-pre-teenager-girl phase. It won't last forever." That made her laugh. She always laughs when she's nervous.
We talked a lot and then I made her promise that we would do an exercise to make her feel better. Every week she will write me a report of the difficult events in her week, the way she feels about it, the way she deals with it. We will discuss it afterwards.I want her to think before she acts and mainly, before she opens her mouth to say something nasty to my grandmother. If she can rationalize things as they happen, she will feel better... I hope.
She liked the idea and the leacture and mentioned that I should be an analyst. Poor baby. I love her so much! She taught me the meaning of inconditional love.
We'll see.
Last night I went to my parent's house and found a family earthquake with my sister as the epicenter.
Mother complains: From some time now Sara is cold to her and rude to my grandmother, thinks only about clothes and friends, don't take no for an answer, watches too much TV and installed msn messenger in her computer against mother's orders .
Sara complains: Mom doesn't let her do anything, watches her from the window when she walks Moria out, our nosy grandmother sleeps in her room and don't give her privacy, all her friends go to parties and have Puma sneakers.
Big sigh.
I took her to our old bedroom and gave her my very first big sister lecture. I've been feeling like her substitute mother ever since she was born but last night I felt it deeply. I found someone I didn't knew in my sister. She is not strong like we were and that is more serious that I thought. The fact that my parent's have been wanting to kill each other all of her life, ruined her emotional stability in a way unknown to me. She confessed she wanted them to get a divorce. I felt so guilty for leaving her alone with them. Me and my brother had each other.
She feels bad so she is rude to everyone and then feels bad for being so. She said she tried to be good but couldn't. Tears were glowing in her eyes. I hugged her.
"You're not bad" I said "You're just going through that awful silly-pre-teenager-girl phase. It won't last forever." That made her laugh. She always laughs when she's nervous.
We talked a lot and then I made her promise that we would do an exercise to make her feel better. Every week she will write me a report of the difficult events in her week, the way she feels about it, the way she deals with it. We will discuss it afterwards.I want her to think before she acts and mainly, before she opens her mouth to say something nasty to my grandmother. If she can rationalize things as they happen, she will feel better... I hope.
She liked the idea and the leacture and mentioned that I should be an analyst. Poor baby. I love her so much! She taught me the meaning of inconditional love.
We'll see.