Just Say No
Title: Just Say No
Rating: PG/R
Disclaimer: Not mine.
"OK, let's try this 'gain. Whaddaya say when someone asks ya if ya want some drugs?"
Large brown eyes looked seriously into his. "Please?"
"Nah. That ain't right."
"Mamma said please is a magic word. It's what you're supposed to say when offered something. Didn't she teach you that yet, Daddy? Maybe she forgot."
Jayne rubbed his face and looked at his daughter with the usual mix of exasperation and worship.
"Just try again. Please. Whaddaya say?"
"Very good, Daddy! Um, no thank you, Uncle Simon's already got lots in his infirm'ry?"
Jayne's lips quirked. "Nah, that might cause 'em to come visit Uncle Simon." Wouldn't his candy-ass brother in law's reaction to *that* be priceless. "Baby girl, if someone gave ya drugs, and ya took 'em, you could wind up workin' for someone like Badger as a, um, wu ji, er somethin'."
She frowned thoughtfully. "Daddy, I didn't think a wu ji was the same as a whore."
"Outta m'head, girl. Didn't mamma teach YOU that? Now, c'mon. Say someone like Badger shows ya drugs. Whaddaya say?"
"Hell naw, ya qingwa cào de liúmáng. Tsao ni zuzong shiba dai."
The muscle in Jayne's jaw clenched as he fought to hold back the laughter. "That's good. Real good. But you can stick with 'naw' baby doll."
"Just say naw?"
"Yep. Jest say naw."
His wife, hiding around the corner, was doubled over by this time. And folks wondered why she loved him. She composed herself, and walked into the galley.
"Zhang fou" - kiss to his cheek, and one on the top of her daughter's brown curls.
"Hi, Darlin'. Hey, wait'll ya hear what yer girl's learned."
River smiled. "I heard. Perhaps the next important conversation will wait for a while?"
"Why? My ma learnt me 'bout drugs when I was little."
"Two and a half?"
"Well, no. But she's yer child, so ya know that changes things. And the next important talk's allll yers."
"Do you mean sex, Daddy? First the male puts his-"
"Yesu! Where'ja learn THAT?" River snickered. She didn't know his eyes could get that wide.
"Uncle Simon's books. I climbed the bookshelf."
Daddy'd had about enough right then. He looked at his tiny wife and said, "yep. Definitely yers."
"And I wouldn't have it any other way, my Jayne."
"Mamma, maybe you should wait to tell him about my brother."
Translations:
Wu ji - Dancing girl
Qingwa cào de liúmáng - Frog-humping sonofabitch
Tsao ni zuzong shiba dai - Fuck 18 generations of your ancestors
Rating: PG/R
Disclaimer: Not mine.
"OK, let's try this 'gain. Whaddaya say when someone asks ya if ya want some drugs?"
Large brown eyes looked seriously into his. "Please?"
"Nah. That ain't right."
"Mamma said please is a magic word. It's what you're supposed to say when offered something. Didn't she teach you that yet, Daddy? Maybe she forgot."
Jayne rubbed his face and looked at his daughter with the usual mix of exasperation and worship.
"Just try again. Please. Whaddaya say?"
"Very good, Daddy! Um, no thank you, Uncle Simon's already got lots in his infirm'ry?"
Jayne's lips quirked. "Nah, that might cause 'em to come visit Uncle Simon." Wouldn't his candy-ass brother in law's reaction to *that* be priceless. "Baby girl, if someone gave ya drugs, and ya took 'em, you could wind up workin' for someone like Badger as a, um, wu ji, er somethin'."
She frowned thoughtfully. "Daddy, I didn't think a wu ji was the same as a whore."
"Outta m'head, girl. Didn't mamma teach YOU that? Now, c'mon. Say someone like Badger shows ya drugs. Whaddaya say?"
"Hell naw, ya qingwa cào de liúmáng. Tsao ni zuzong shiba dai."
The muscle in Jayne's jaw clenched as he fought to hold back the laughter. "That's good. Real good. But you can stick with 'naw' baby doll."
"Just say naw?"
"Yep. Jest say naw."
His wife, hiding around the corner, was doubled over by this time. And folks wondered why she loved him. She composed herself, and walked into the galley.
"Zhang fou" - kiss to his cheek, and one on the top of her daughter's brown curls.
"Hi, Darlin'. Hey, wait'll ya hear what yer girl's learned."
River smiled. "I heard. Perhaps the next important conversation will wait for a while?"
"Why? My ma learnt me 'bout drugs when I was little."
"Two and a half?"
"Well, no. But she's yer child, so ya know that changes things. And the next important talk's allll yers."
"Do you mean sex, Daddy? First the male puts his-"
"Yesu! Where'ja learn THAT?" River snickered. She didn't know his eyes could get that wide.
"Uncle Simon's books. I climbed the bookshelf."
Daddy'd had about enough right then. He looked at his tiny wife and said, "yep. Definitely yers."
"And I wouldn't have it any other way, my Jayne."
"Mamma, maybe you should wait to tell him about my brother."
Translations:
Wu ji - Dancing girl
Qingwa cào de liúmáng - Frog-humping sonofabitch
Tsao ni zuzong shiba dai - Fuck 18 generations of your ancestors